Transcript 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE TEENS

7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
Parent University
LIFE FOR TEENS
IS NO
PLAYGROUND
It is a maze full of right or
wrong turns-right or
wrong choices.
Parents can teach teens
principles, values and
skills to help them make
better choices.
“WE CAN’T MAKE THEIR DECISIONS
FOR THEM, BUT WE CAN GIVE THEM
THE RIGHT TOOLS THEY NEED TO
MAKE RIGHT DECISIONS.”
HOW DO EFFECTIVE TEENS
MAKE CHOICES?
THEY BASE THEM ON:
PRINCIPLES
VALUES
What is a Habit?
Habits are patterns
of behavior composed
of three overlapping
components:
– Knowledge
– Desire
– Skill
We are
what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then,
is not an act,
Skills
but a habit.
(how to)
Aristotle
Knowledge
(what to, why to)
HABIT
Desire
(want to)
What is an effective teen?
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6.
Are they reactive or proactive?
Do they know where they are going?
Do they prioritize the things they have to do?
Do they see life as a competition?
Do they talk first and then pretend to listen or listen actively?
Do they cooperate with others or do they think they are
better off doing everything by themselves?
7. Are they so busy with life that they do not have time to:
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Spend quality time with family and friends
To do their homework
Read good books
Exercise
Take time for nature or other inspirational things?
PARADIGM
The way you see
something,
your point of view,
frame of reference,
or belief.
What is a paradigm shift?
A paradigm shift is a way of looking at
something differently.
We are stepping “outside the box”.
When we make a paradigm shift we can
see,
think, feel and behave differently.
Example:
• People used to think the Earth is flat.
• Sailors proved the Earth is round.
(a paradigm shift occurred)
Frank Koch wrote:
Two battleships assigned to the
training squadron had been at sea
on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days.
I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on
the bridge as night fell. Shortly after dark, the lookout on
the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the
starboard bow."
"Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.
Lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant we were
on a collision course.
The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that
ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change
course 20 degrees."
Back came the reply, "Advisable for you to change
course 20 degrees."
The captain said, "Send, I'm a captain, change course 20
degrees."
"I am a seaman second class" came the reply. "You had
better change course 20 degrees."
By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out,
"Send, I'm a battleship. Change course
20 degrees."
Back came the reply, "I'm a lighthouse."
We changed course.
Steven Covey (in “The 7 habits of Highly Effective People”) tells that
story to teach that principles are “like lighthouses.” They are natural
laws that cannot be broken.”
To show regard
or value for someone
or something.
Emotional Bank Account
Like a checking or savings account,
you can make deposits or withdrawals.
Personal-How you feel about yourself.
(Amount of trust and confidence in yourself.)
Relationship-How you feel about others.
(Amount of trust and confidence you have in each
of your relationships)
Personal Bank Account
Deposits
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Keep promises to yourself
Do small acts of kindness
Be gentle with yourself
Be honest in all your dealings
Enhance your talents
Take care of yourself
Think positively and use positive self-talk
Personal Bank Account
Withdrawals
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Break promises to yourself
Isolate yourself
Put yourself down
Think negatively and use negative self-talk
Be dishonest with yourself
Neglect your talents
Wear yourself out
Expect yourself to be perfect
Relationship Bank Account
Deposits
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Keep promises to others
Do small acts of kindness
Be loyal to those not present
Listen actively
Say you are sorry
Set clear expectations
Allow others to be different
Relationship Bank Account
Withdrawals
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Break promises
Keep to yourself
Gossip and break confidences
Do not listen
Be arrogant
Set false expectations
7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
Habit 1 Be Proactive
Habit 2 Begin With The End in Mind
Habit 3 Put First Things First
Habit 4 Think Win-win
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand,
Then to Be Understood
Habit 6 Synergize
Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw
Habit 1 Be Proactive
Teenagers are the product of their environment,
upbringing, and choices. Are their choices
proactive or reactive? They need to choose how
they act. They need to take responsibility
for their choices
and their life.
CIRCLE OF
NO CONTROL
Birthplace
CIRCLE OF
CONTROL
Ourselves Attitudes
Weather
Choices &
Responses
Parents
What
other
people
say and
do
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Identify the principles they want to live by.
Values are self-chosen & provide foundations for
decision making about where they are going in life.
Define their mission and goals.
Habit 3 Put First Things First
Prioritize
Actions flow from
that which is
important.
Habit 3: Put first things first.
Urgent
Important
Not Important
Not Urgent
Quadrant I
Quadrant II:
Crises
Deadline driven projects
Pressing Problems
Preparation
Prevention
Commitment
Relationship building
Quadrant IV
Quadrant III
Unimportant phone calls, Trivia
email, meetings or reports Busy work
Time wasters
Interruptions
• We want Quadrant II > Quadrant I.
• Quadrant II comes from Quadrants III and IV.
 Estimate how much time you spend in Quadrant II (and what IS Quad IV?) ...
 How do you plan your day? Datebook? Palm Pilot?
 How much is your time worth to you, in dollars/hour?
Habit 4 Think Win-win
Mutual Benefits.
Have an
“everyone can win”
attitude.
Win-win is like an
all you can eat buffet.
Five Dimensions of Win/Win
 Character
• Integrity
• Maturity
• Abundance mentality
 Relationships
• From transactional to
transformational
 Agreements
• What needs to be done – not
how
 Processes
• Third alternative
 Supporting systems
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand,
Then to be Understood
Communication
solves
problems.
Listen to
people
sincerely.
Habit 6 Synergize
Open-mindedness. Teamwork. New ways to do
things. Work together to achieve more.
Celebrate differences.
A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each
fruit maintains its own flavor.
Habit 7Sharpen the Saw
Continuous self-renewal and self-improvement in:
your soul
SOLUTION ORIENTED PROBLEM SOLVING
1. Name the problem, and who owns it. (Be sure it is the
REAL problem)
2. Describe it specifically. (Name the parts of the problem.)
3. Brainstorm. (Name all the solutions you can think of, no
matter how crazy they may seem.)
4. Think about each solution:
*Does it honor the values of your family, yourself, and
others whom you respect?
*Would it solve the problem?
*Would it affect yourself and others for better or
worse?
5. Choose a solution, and act on it.
6. Evaluate the outcome:
*Is the problem solved?
*Did the solution produce the results you
expected?
*How did the solution fit with your
feelings
and values?
*Did the solution fail to meet your or the
other party’s needs in any
way?
*What else happened?
*Would another solution work better?
Successful Family Checklist
 Are effective communication channels in place?
 Is the family committed to excellence?
 Does everyone in the family know their specific role?
 Do the individuals in the family regularly operate out
of their strengths as opposed to their weaknesses?
 Do members understand – and share – the common
goals and vision?
 Is there a detailed plan of action for success?
 Do family members respect and appreciate one
another?
 Does the family take a break from time to time to just
have fun together?
Adapted from
http://www.insiderreports.com/department.asp_Q_ChanID_E_BZ_A_DeptID_E_GTKN_A_StoryID_E_20000336
Expected Outcomes
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Increased engagement and motivation
Greater responsibility for learning
Increased peer collaboration skills
Greater confidence and self-esteem
Increased listening skills
Greater content mastery
Better peer collaboration
More time on task
More skill in analyzing and solving problems
GETTING UNDERWAY WITH THE
7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens