Transcript Interpersonal Conflict Management

• According to Floyd (2009), “Our choices almost
always have an effect on our relationships,”
(p.395). Therefore, it is important to learn, and
practice effective conflict management
strategies.
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“An expressed struggle between at least
two interdependent parties who perceive
incompatible goals, scarce resources, and
interference from the other party in
achieving their goals” (Hocker, Wilmot,
236).
Conflict occurs between interdependent
parties which may include family members,
peers, or coworkers.
There are many different strategies to
handling conflict; however, not all of them
are wise strategies. The conflict
management strategy you choose to
apply will have an effect on your
relationships with others.
“There are almost as many ways to handle
conflict as there are things to disagree
about;” however, not all of these strategies
are productive (Floyd, 395).



Conflict does not damage relationships, poor
management of conflict does.
“Conventional wisdom might suggest that
couples who fight frequently are most likely to
split up. In fact, Gottman’s research has found
otherwise. According to Gottman, How
couples argue, and not how frequently they
argue, predicts their chances for staying
together,” (Floyd, 395).
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and
stonewalling are poor conflict management
strategies, which are often warning signs for
separation or divorce, (Floyd, 395).
Strategy
Competing
Avoiding
Accommodating
Description
Your goal is to win the conflict, and only
one team can win. "Competition
becomes problematic when it starts
leading to feelings of resentment or
desires to get even with the other
person" (Floyd, 398).
Avoiding a conflict, may be considered as
running from the conflict. People who
employ the avoiding strategy of conflict
manage meant simply do not get
involved in a conflict (“Choosing a
Conflict Management Style, 2010).
Adopting this strategy means “ignoring
the conflict and hoping it will go away on
its own” (Floyd, 399).
When accommodating, you “allow the
other party to satisfy their concerns
while neglecting your own” (Harvard).
This strategy could work well in the short
term, however, in the long run,
“continually accommodating the other
party can cause resentment (Floyd, 399).
Concern for
Self
Concern for
Others
high
low
low
low
high
low

Criticism
› Complaints about each other.
Ineffective

Contempt
› Insulting and attacking each other's self-worth

Defensiveness
› Seeing yourself as a victim and denying
responsibility for your behaviors

Stonewalling
› Withdrawing from conversation, shutting down.

Be willing to communicate
Effective
› Don’t put up a stone wall, share your feelings
respectfully.

Respect yourself
› You, too, have responsibilities in the conflict.

Respect your partner
› You’re not always a victim.

Practice humility
› Do not insult or attack each other’s self-worth.
(Floyd, 395-397), (“To Love and Honor,2005”)
Empathy is, “the ability to be ‘other-oriented’ and
understand other people’s thoughts and feelings” (Floyd,
31).
 This is important in conflict because it requires you to think
about a situation from the other parties perspective.
 Listen empathetically

› Listen without judgment. Let the other party speak before
interrupting, or judging.
› Acknowledge the feelings the other party may have, and allow
them to express the way they feel.
› Communicate support nonverbally to convey your interest,
understanding, and empathy to the other party.

Being empathetic in a conflict will help you to understand,
and show your understanding of the other parties conflict.
This will likely help to collaborate on a decision.
Strategy
Description
Concern for
Self
Concern for
Others
Compromising
Both parties give up something,
and find a middle ground which
they both agree upon. When
someone is applying the strategy
of compromising, they believe
that “conflict is mutual difference
best resolved by cooperation and
compromise. If each comes
halfway, progress can be made by
the democratic process” (“Ways to
Approach Conflict,” 2000).
moderate
moderate
Collaborating
The goal is to arrive at a
conclusion that maximizes both
parties’ gains (Floyd, 400).
Collaboration involves
“cooperation with the other party
to understand their concerns in an
effort to find a mutually satisfying
solution” (Corkindale).
high
high

Concern for self
› Focus on self, less
empathy

Concern for others
› More empathy

“When concern for self
and concern for other
are juxtaposed, they
give rise to five strategies
for engaging in conflict:
competing, avoiding,
accommodating,
collaborating, and
compromising” (Floyd,
397).
Image (Floyd, 397).

There are many different strategies to
handling conflict; however, not all of them
are wise strategies. According to Floyd
(2009), “Our choices almost always have an
effect on our relationships,” (p.395).
Therefore, it is important to learn, and
practice effective conflict management
strategies. The conflict management
strategy you chose to apply will have an
effect on your relationships with others.
Conflict does not damage relationships,
poor management of conflict does.
Adult Personal Conflict Styles. (n.d.). Retrieved April 01, 2010, from
http://peace.mennolink.org/resources/conflictstyle/styles.html
Choosing a Conflict Management Style. (n.d.). Retrieved April 01, 2010, from
http://disputeresolution.ohio.gov/schools/contentpages/styles.htm
Floyd, K. (2009). Interpersonal communication: the whole story. Boston: McGrawHill Higher Education.
How to Manage Conflict - Gill Corkindale - Harvard Business Review. (n.d.).
Retrieved April 01, 2010, from
http://blogs.hbr.org/corkindale/2007/11/how_to_manage_conflict.html
To Love and to Honor with Dr. Terry Hargrave.Ph.D. (n.d.). Retrieved April 01, 2010,
from http://www.wordsofwellness.com/Terry_Hargrave.htm
Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J. L. (2007). Interpersonal conflict. Boston: McGraw-Hill.