Transcript Broken people in a broken world

Broken people in a broken
world: Member care and
suffering
Dr Debbie Hawker
InterHealth
[email protected]
www.interhealth.org.uk
Member care and suffering
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What is there to say?
Suffering happens
Suffering happens everywhere, whether we
stay or go
I do not follow the ‘gospel of emotional
prosperity’ (constant happiness)
Following Jesus means a willingness to
sacrifice and to accept risk & suffering
God does not promise to protect us
from suffering
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Almost the opposite (‘you will suffer’)
But He promises that if we abide in Him, He
will be with us while we suffer, and we will be
with Him in eternity (with no more sorrow)
‘He will never leave you’ (Deut 31:6)
‘Even though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death … you are with me’ (Ps 23:4)
‘When you pass through the waters, I will be
with you’ (Is 43.2).
This is not a new issue
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Mission has always involved sacrifice, risk and
suffering
In the past, some mission personnel were advised to
pack their belongings in a coffin, and assume they
would not return alive
The suffering may have been different (e.g. more died
through topical illnesses)
Some were martyred then. More are martyred now.
Current trends
There are approximately 3 times as many lethal
natural disasters during any given year than
there were 25 years ago (due to more people
living in disaster prone areas, and increase in
hurricanes, floods, droughts etc)
Current trends
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Kidnapping of humanitarian workers has
increased by 350% over the last 3 years
In 2008, 260 humanitarian aid workers were
killed, kidnapped or seriously injured in
violent attacks, representing a 12-year high
Christians at risk
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Targeted because of their faith or nationality
But more are killed in traffic accidents
The need is for more than just a
good psychologist/ counsellor
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These people don’t need me to just offer a good
‘treatment’ (for trauma, depression or whatever) –
although that can be very important
A psychologist or counsellor may be able to offer
some help, but what really matters is for them to
know God sustaining them
There is more to member care than good counselling
Our ultimate goal is not to remove all problems or
suffering or to make everyone happy
What is member care?
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Some people believe it is ‘just counselling’ or
even ‘coddling’ (‘wrapping missionaries in
cotton wool’)
Some see it as preventing, reducing or
removing risk and suffering
Some see it only as reactive – if there is a
problem, member carers come in to help solve
it
What is member care?
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In fact, it aims to prevent as well as tackle
problems
But IT IS MORE THAN THIS
20 years ago, there was much less member
care
Few people were debriefed; now debriefing is
commonly accepted and expected
What is member care?
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20 years ago, few evangelical Christians went on
retreats or had spiritual directors or mentors
Now, these are becoming more accepted. I’m
encouraged that by the ‘spirituality track’at this
EMCC, and the sessions on retreats, spiritual
formation etc.
I believe spiritual growth is the next major area to
move to in member care
Many mission partners now have less ‘grounding’ in
the Bible than in previous generations
Assisting spiritual growth and discipleship is key
So, what can we do, as member care
providers?
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Pray – for those who are suffering, and for
wisdom
Help people work out what is ‘wise risk’ and
what is unnecessary risk (especially where
children/ vulnerable people are involved)
Help people cope with difficulties and remain
close to God and glorify Him
Before people go
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Wise selection of people & placements
Good preparation (foster resilience)
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Emotional: Humour; expectations; talking/ journaling
Spiritual: * theology of suffering/ risk
* consideration of ‘call’ and purpose
* on-going spiritual growth
* attitude of gratitude
* forgiveness
* eternal perspective
Relationships: A healthy support network; teams
Physical: Maintaining healthy life-style (including exercise,
rest, etc)
Thought processes; problem-solving; sense of purpose
While people are away
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Maintaining good links/ communication
Dealing with problems early (including conflict)
On-going support
Mentor/ spiritual director/ retreats/ help with spiritual
growth
Also support for extended family
Intervention if there are difficulties (conflict, crises
etc)
Discussion about the future/ prep for ‘what’s next’
At times of crisis
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Additional support
May involve helping them decide whether to
stay or leave
Don’t assume that leaving is always best (e.g.
MCS – better to stay with peer group)
Risk/ benefit analysis (children ‘at home’ face
risks – bullying/ no faith/ self-harm/ drugs/
depression etc)
When people return ‘home’
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Welcome, affirmation
Good debriefing
On-going care and support
Where there has been post-traumatic stress,
don’t just treat that, but help to foster posttraumatic growth including spiritual growth
Guidelines for good practice in
member care (UK)
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New value is under discussion
‘Serving Christ involves risk and suffering; our
aim is not to remove all difficulties, but to help
personnel cope with them in a way which
glorifies God’
Member care is not an end in itself. The aim is
to help equip personnel for effective and
sustainable ministry. Holiness is more
important than happiness.
Our aim
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Whilst member care often reduces difficulties
and increases wellbeing, a more important aim
is to help personnel cope with difficulties, so
that they can be more effective in ministry.
We do what we can to help, and trust the rest
to God.
Literature on suffering
What matters is not the cause or the extent of
the suffering, but the meaning we make of it
and how we respond to it.
Suffering can make us or break us.
We are damaged, or we recover, or we grow
through it
Suffering is an opportunity
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If we don’t suffer, how can we identify with
the suffering people we minister to? (2 Cor
1:3-4 ‘Praise God … who comforts us … so
that we can comfort others’).
Through suffering, we grow to maturity
God is glorified when we suffer and continue
to trust Him
Simon Guillebaud speaks powerfully of
embracing risk and expecting suffering
Before my first mission trip 20 years
ago I read book with 4 chapters
Ch. 1: Prepare to be misunderstood
 Ch. 2: Prepare to be persecuted
 Ch. 3: What we can learn from the Peace
Corps
 Ch. 4: Prepare for culture shock
(‘Don’t go overseas until you’ve read this book’
by Neil Gallagher)
Do we still prepare people for suffering?
(Brother Yun does…)
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From suffering to work-life balance
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We should talk about suffering
And also about rest and looking after oneself
It’s not one or the other; both have a place
Jesus wept and Jesus went to parties
Posttraumatic growth
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There is now a lot of literature on this
Spirituality can lead to posttraumatic growth,
or be a source of struggle when trauma occurs
(faith is shattered as the trauma does not fit in
with our beliefs about God)
Phil 4:12-13
‘I have learned the secret of being content in
any and every situation, whether well fed or
hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I
can do everything through him who gives me
strength’
Quote from Philip Yancey
Christians in affluent countries tend to pray,
‘Lord take this trial away from us’. I have
heard prisoners, persecuted Christians, and
some who live in very poor countries, pray
instead, ‘Lord, give us the strength to bear this
trial’.
(Reaching for the invisible God, 2000)
So much depends on attitude
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I come from a culture which wants to avoid
risk, and promises instant gratification
A culture of ‘rights’, and complaints
Complaints written by those visiting
the Bridger Wilderness (one of the
wonders of USA)
(A magnificent, unspoilt region of over 400
acres, with mountains & glaciers, forests, lakes
& wildlife)
 ‘Trails need to be wider, so people can walk
while holding hands’
 ‘Please avoid building trails that go up hill’
 ‘Too many bugs and leeches and spiders webs.
Please spray the wilderness to rid the areas of
these pests’
Complaints written by those visiting
the Bridger Wilderness
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Escalators would help on steep uphill sections’
‘Chair-lifts need to be in some places so that
we can get to wonderful views without having
to hike them’
A McDonalds would be nice at the trailhead’
Feedback from short-term mission
trips
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Is sometimes rather similar (e.g. ‘we were told
about the lovely beaches, but hardly got any
time to spend on them’)
Factors increasing resilience among
African missionaries
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Strong sense of community and family
Not expecting to get everything they would like (no
‘it’s my right’ attitude) – i.e. acceptance
A tendency to forgive mistakes
An expectation that life will be difficult
High value placed on hospitality & generosity (giving
to others who have less)
(Carr, 2006)
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Also add:
Gratitude for what we have; eternal perspective; joy;
praise
Can we help build these resilience
factors, among Europeans also?
When something bad happens
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Do I complain?
Or thank God it wasn’t worse, and pray for
anyone who might have done it to me?
And foster LOVE
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Love can help us endure much pain (‘social
support’/ knowing we are loved)
Love can help teams/ co-workers accept each
other despite differences
Love can provide a sense of meaning which
helps us keep going despite difficulties (loving
those we minister to)
Love for God, our neighbours, our family …
and ourselves
There is suffering which we can’t
change
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But there is also suffering which we CAN
change.
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Sometimes our actions can help PREVENT
suffering. It might be as simple as advising
mission personnel to take more care in what
we put on Facebook/ internet. Or to go on
security courses (simulation training). Or to
address problems early…
What’s the worst part of
mission?
Mission workers often report coping well with
traumatic experiences (they are prepared for
them; they are one-off and soon over; they are
not aimed at them personally).
They struggle more with on-going stresses of life
in a ‘difficult’ culture, and relationship
problems (more personal), & over-work.
‘What was the worst part of your
mission experience?’
Cultural frustrations
Relationship problems
Dissatisfaction with work/ agency
Missing home/ problems at home
Traumatic incidents
Living conditions/ health
Isolation
Returning home
Everything/ no response
%
21
18
17
12
8
6
5
5
8
Can busyness cause suffering?
Quote from Anthony de Mello
‘the great tragedy of life lies not in how much
we suffer, but in how much we miss’
What can we do about the suffering
which arises due to busyness?
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The MKs I come across rarely complain about
the traumatic events they experienced
More complain about not having enough time
with their parents (‘they cared more about
ministry than about me’).
During war in Nepal & Darfur
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Missionaries told me that over-work caused
them more stress than the war
Obstacles to growth survey
(2001-2007)
Data from over 20,000 Christians in 139
countries found that 40% of Christians around
the world said they ‘often’ or ‘always’ rush
from task to task.
About 60% said it’s ‘often’ or ‘always’ true that
‘the busyness of life gets in the way of
developing my relationship with God’.
What can we do to reduce overbusyness?
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In our lives, and to help others?
Those who have been close to death
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Often learn to value every moment
But many of us are too busy to do that, and we
become depressed not because of major
traumas, but because of ongoing, cumulative
stress
Searching for treasure
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On 1st Jan 2008, a Dad & his 7-year old son
agreed to spend at least 15 minutes daily
searching for treasure together
They found coins, golf balls, recyclable bottles
& other items worth E720 in the year, &
enjoyed hours of fun together
What do we invest 15 minutes a day in? Time
with God? Family?
What can member care providers
offer?
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Allow people, including leaders, to express their
‘doubts’, differences, and questions (e.g. will this
person who committed suicide go to hell?’ or even
‘does God send anyone to eternal torment?’)
This can lead to growth, and protect from disaster
Don’t be judgemental
Be humble, and willing to admit ‘I don’t know’.
What can member care providers
offer?
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Let God be judge, not us.
‘For your thoughts are not my thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the
Lord’ (Is 55: 8).
What if you feel broken?
And what about broken people who apply to be
mission personnel?
God chooses and uses people who
have been broken
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Look at the Bible (Moses, David, Rahab, Peter,
Saul/Paul etc)
I would probably not pass most standard
missionary selection procedures
Marjory Foyle (who has been working in
missions since 1949) received a reference from
her pastor saying she should ‘never be sent to
India because she was a very nervous person’!
Strength from weakness
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‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness’ (2 Cor 12:9)
Those ‘whose weakness was turned to
strength’ (Hebrews 11: 34)
Don’t write people off
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Sometimes, those who have been ‘broken’
become our most effective mission workers.
E.g. those who have recovered from
depression, and learned how to look after
themselves and become more resilient
Do we avoid risks?
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Christian Aid’s ‘Platform 2’ project aims to
recruit the disadvantaged (‘risky’), who cannot
afford to go overseas. Other agencies also seek
the disabled & disadvantaged
An aim is to help boost their resilience
(confidence, skills etc) through service
Some short-term teams allow someone who is
not yet a committed Christian to join the team
Do we avoid risks?
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My first short-term team included a new
Christian who had recently left jail
Most mission personnel are the ‘advantaged’
(those with wealth, health, education)
Brokenness
Try not to label people as ‘broken’ or ‘victims’.
It can become our identity and we can get stuck
in the label, and not be willing to try things
God wants us to try, as we feel unable.
Victims or survivors?
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Communities in East Timor who were told
they were traumatized victims sat listlessly and
explained they were overwhelmed and unable
to help children.
Through empowerment-focussed activities,
most demonstrated significant well-being and
organized activities to support children. The
change came through thinking of themselves
as survivors, not victims (Wessells, 2009).
In our own strength we can do
nothing, but…
‘I can do all things, through Christ who
strengthens me’ (Phil 4:13)
‘The battle belongs to the Lord’ (1 Sam 17:47)
God multiplies the little loaves and fish we offer
See also 2 Cor 6:3-10.
Broken people in a broken world
or…
PEOPLE WITH POTENTIAL, IN A WORLD
FULL OF POTENTIAL
What is broken may be restored
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Even when it looks impossible
In this life
Or in eternity
The cracks may still show
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A set of 17th century porcelain vases were
smashed in a museum when a visitor tripped
over his shoelaces
25 trays were filled with fragments
A huge process of restoration took place
It’s possible to cover up cracks, so why were
the cracks left visible?
An expert restorer replied:
‘This is an antique, it tells a story, and the
cracks are part of the story’.
Like an antique, our brokenness is part of our
story. We don’t have to hide it.
We have this treasure in jars of clay (2 Cor
4:7). We become stronger at the places where
we were broken and then restored.
‘Broken people’
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Are still used by God (as they were in Bible)
Our selection processes should not mean we
exclude everyone who has been ‘broken’
(through previous depression etc)
See how they are coping NOW
Some of those who have been ‘broken’ are the
most resilient, most effective people of God
‘Broken people in a broken world’
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Which do I address, the individuals or the
‘broken world’?
The Bible has a LOT to say about issues of
injustice and poverty – what am I doing to
address these issues? And to support those who
are tackling them?
Broken world
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This world is broken by wars, violence,
starvation, disasters, poverty, disease, climate
change … suffering of every kind.
What are we doing about the WORLD? We
care for individuals, but we are also people
God calls to do something about injustice,
poverty, environmental issues. What am I
doing about the broken world?
A semi-summary
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We are people of potential in a world of potential
As member-care providers, we should act responsibly
to help prevent unnecessary suffering (including
suffering through over-work & relationship problems,
and through attitude of expecting no difficulties)
We can offer support & counselling when required
To go deeper, help people grow closer to God so that
they can endure difficult times
Foster LOVE
Don’t ignore our part in the bigger picture
Member care in the balance
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Be a ‘repairer of broken walls’ (Is 58:12).
‘Bind up the broken-hearted’ (Is. 61:1).
2. Remember ‘For me to live is Christ, to die is gain’
(Phil 1.21). True restoration occurs in eternity. Keep
an eternal perspective.
3. God’s ways are greater than our ways. Trust in His
mercy and grace – we don’t know all the answers.
Don’t let’s end the conference on a
negative note
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There are stories from around the world of God
working in wonderful ways
God promises to ‘restore what the locust has eaten’
(Joel 2:25)
‘In this world you will have trouble… I have
overcome the world’ (John 16:33)
Keep our eyes fixed on eternity … there is suffering
in this world, but no tears or sorrow in heaven.
‘Mercy triumphs over judgement’ (James 2:13).
A prayer: Col 1:11-12
‘We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it
out over the long haul – not the grim strength
of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength
God gives. It is strength that endures the
unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking
the Father who makes us strong enough to take
part in everything … that he has for us’ (The
Message)
Can we declare together:
‘I consider that the sufferings of this present
time are not worthy to be compared with the
glory which shall be revealed … the Spirit
helps us in our weakness. We do not know
what we ought to pray, but the Spirit himself
intercedes for us with groans that words cannot
express’ (Romans 8:18; 26)
In twos or threes
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What, if anything, will you act on from this
talk?
Pray
Further reading
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Calhoun, LG & Tedeschi, RG (2006).
Handbook of posttraumatic growth: research
and practice. New York: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Carr, KF (2006). The Mobile Member Care
Team as a means of responding to crises: West
Africa. In L. Barbanel & RJ Sternberg (Eds)
Psychological Interventions in Times of Crisis.
New York: Baywood.
Further reading
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Horsfall, T. (2008). Mentoring for spiritual
growth. Abingdon: BFR.
Horsfall, T. (2009). Working from a place of
rest. Abingdon: BRF.
Lovell-Hawker, D. (2009). Supporting staff
responding to disasters: recruitment, briefing
and on-going care. London: People In Aid.
Further reading
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Lovell-Hawker, D. (2010). Debriefing aid
workers and missionaries: A comprehensive
manual. London: People In Aid.
Neenan, M. (2009). Developing resilience.
London: Routledge.
Wessells, M.G. (2009). Do no harm: Toward
contextually appropriate psychosocial support
in international emergencies. American
Psychologist, Nov, 842-854.
Theology of suffering
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Walker, E. (2007). Reflections from the
scorched earth. Oxford: Monarch.
Yancey, P. (1990). Where is God when it
hurts? Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
Theology of suffering
1. From Ken Williams (written):
http://www.itpartners.org/Support_Files/Articles/
Toward%20a%20Theology%20of%20Sufferin
g.pdf
 2. ‘Sovereignty, suffering and the work of
missions’ by Steve Saint, and other talks
(audio):
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Co
nferenceMessages/ByConference/1/
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