Chapter 5

Conflict Resolution

Conflict Important

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Conflict

is the internal or external tension that occurs when you anticipate difficulty meeting important needs.

 Boss, spouse, child, etc.

Conflict Types

 Five leading causes of conflict in the workplace: – Misunderstanding-miscommunication – Disrespect or disregard for other people – Conflicting egos – Impatience – Fear and insecurity over loss of control

Conflict Types

  Pseudo conflicts (false conflicts) – – Not real conflicts; they are perceived.

Two causes: faulty assumptions and false dilemmas –

Faulty assumptions:

mistaking assumptions for facts –

False dilemmas:

people only see two solutions to a problem Fact conflicts – Parties disagree about information that could easily be verified – Fact conflicts can turn into ego conflicts

Conflict Types

   Ego conflicts – A dispute centers on status or power – – Initial argument may be over a factual question Conflict centers on “who” has the “right” facts Value conflicts – – Focus on personal beliefs Value rights, religion, etc.

Need conflicts – Needs of one individual clash with the needs of another

Conflict Management Styles

 Avoiders – – See conflict as hopeless and useless Are impersonal or distant – Remove self mentally or physically – Lack commitment to finding solutions (time, energy, confidence or skills) –

Be an Avoider :

to buy time, to defuse strong emotions, if the conflict isn’t worth it

Conflict Management Styles

 Accommodators – – Believe conflict is destructive Overvalue maintaining relationships – – Undervalue own needs Don’t make waves – – Want peace at any price

Be an Accommodator:

when the issue isn’t that important to you or when conceding is easier

Conflict Management Styles



Forcers

– Believe winning is the only thing – – – – – Love challenge and achievement Express anger when others don’t agree Are willing to sacrifice others who don’t agree Typically use emotional appeals, strong deliveries and persistence

Be a Forcer :

when decisions have to be made quickly, crisis

Conflict Management Styles

 Compromisers – – Believe half is better than none Want each side to gain something – Use voting or bargaining to decide – Avoid the real issues – – Typically use maneuvering, negotiating and trading

Be a Compromiser :

disagreement isn’t vital

Conflict Management Styles

 Collaborators – – Believe both parties can meet their needs See conflict as a natural way to meet needs – Want to hear the needs of others – View the other as equal in conflict –

Be a Collaborator :

when there is time, if both parties are willing to work together

Conflict Strategy Guidelines

 Recognize the “enemies” that can limit your ability to manage conflict effectively.

– Your desire to explain your side first – Failure to listen attentively – Fear of losing control, what you value – Misconception that one must win and the other must lose

Conflict Strategy Guidelines

 Choose the right time.

– Relaxed, free from distractions and prepared to spend time  Take turns speaking and listening.

– Listen open-mindedly rather than defensively – Paraphrase one another – Encourage active listening

Conflict Strategy Guidelines

 Set the stage for finding a solution.

– Work collaboratively – Brainstorm  Identify your needs and those of the other person.

– Keeps you focused on the issue – Identify the needs – Be empathic

Four-Part Assertion Messages

  Plan what you want to say.

– Four-Part Assertion Message 

Describe the behavior

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Identify your feelings

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State the tangible consequences

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Make a request

Example: When you take personal calls on your cell phone while there are customers waiting in line ( behaviour ), I feel stressed ( feeling ), because I have to cover the service desk by myself ( consequence ). Would you please wait until your break to use your cell phone? ( request ).

Be Assertive

 Assertive – Stating what you think, feel, want or need in a way that is direct, honest and respectful of others – – Builds trust, helps prevent conflicts, gets needs met Most conducive to a supportive style of communication  Aggressive – – Stating thoughts, feelings, wants or needs directly and honestly but disrespectfully Can prevent conflict by fostering avoidance

Be Assertive

 Non-Assertive – Respecting others while stating your thoughts, feelings, wants or needs indirectly or not at all – Avoid conflict, easy to please, cooperative team players – Can’t get needs met, may feel resentful

Conflict Strategy Guidelines

 Express appreciation.

– Thank the other person – End the discussion on a positive note

Responding to Criticism

 Three types of criticism: – Manipulative – Vague – Valid

Responding to Criticism

 Fogging – Use for manipulative criticism – Presents a non-defensive, indifferent response to criticism – Seeks to acknowledge the criticism – Does not agree or disagree

Responding to Criticism

 Negative Assertion – Strongly agrees with valid criticism – Admits mistakes – Announces that the critic is right – Adds what you have learned from the mistake – Expresses a sad, regretful tone

Responding to Criticism

 Negative Inquiry – Clarifies the intent of vague criticism – Shares a puzzled, confused tone – Seeks further information – Uses questions