Transcript Slide 1

Continuing Professional Development Unit
Birmingham City University
Bereavement
Counselling
Day ONE
Course Facilitator : David Forrest
[email protected]
21 July, 2015
www.gestaltuk.com
[email protected]
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Bereavement Counselling
Three Day Course
DAY ONE
We will have an overview of the various aspects of Bereavement; in
particular we will consider Loss in the context of our journey in life.
We will be working interactively and, of necessity, in relation to our own
professional and personal experiences.
Therefore it is important for us all to appreciate each other in respect of
loss.
No one is compelled or required to share any information. In doing so
you are asked to be safe and respectful of your own needs.
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Bereavement Counselling
Three Day Course
David Forrest
I am a Gestalt psychotherapist working, mainly, in private practice in Nottingham
and Lichfield.
As well as working as a therapist I run a number of workshops for practicing
counsellors
I participate on a number of modules at the University, specifically the various
counselling pathways that are on offer
I have worked for six years as a therapist and in that time have worked with GPs,
on community projects, in both Secondary and Primary schools, and my clients
have ranged from aged 10 to 74.
Bereavement has usually come as a package of emotional issues with my clients.
Generally this is because death tends to highlight and bring into play other losses
and endings the client has contained and managed.
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Mourning
Loss
What is meant by:
Grief
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Bereavement
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The Natural Process of Loss
Loss is a natural process, and necessary. Each loss we experience
through our lifecycle is best processed with recognition,
acknowledgement and comfort
Loss successfully managed is a step toward independence and growth
Losses are not necessarily remembered. We are shaped by them; they
are internalised and form part of our self, and experience begins to build
a sense of inner strength
Loss and separation form an intrinsic part of human
emotional development. Such losses are therefore known
as ‘necessary losses’.
(Lendrum & Syme 2006)
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Self Awareness
And
Change
What changes have there been in your life?
When you were young
As a teenager
As an adult
Before you were 11
School
Relationships
Before you were 6
Home
Job
Earlier
Friendships
Career
Puberty
Friendships
Bodily
Change is necessary for growth and change involves the
losing of something and the gaining of something
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A universal experience of cycles & circles
Life is loss, (grief) and growth.
Relationship
losses
Treasured
objects
Loss of some
aspect of self
Developmental
losses
Humphrey G.M. & Zimpfer D.G. Counselling for grief & Bereavement. London Sage
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Loss: Bereavement
Relationship
losses
Loss of some
aspect of self
Consider the client group you
work with and discuss this
with your group members.
Treasured
objects
Developmental
losses
1. Identify what was the bereavement they experienced?
2. According to the above framework what secondary losses have they
experienced?
3. Discuss with group members and share ideas
4. Identify any questions to discuss with tutor
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Theories of loss
Although there are some commonalities in response to loss, there is no universally
predictable emotional path, and the range of effects, thoughts, and behaviours
experienced is wide. To understand processes following loss, the dialectic of loss and
growth, and meanings one gives to loss-experiences, it is important to consider the
individual embedded within the family, family embedded within community, and
community embedded within social and cultural systems.
http://family.jrank.org/pages/753/Grief-Loss-Bereavement-Conclusion.html
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Theories of grief, of loss
Freud – The ego is protected by mental mechanisms
until it is strong enough to disengage from the lost object
Bowlby – Attachment & loss. When attachments are
endangered or broken there is a normal human response
of anxiety & protest.
Niemeyer – Grieving individuals struggle to affirm or
reconstruct a personal world of meaning that has been
changed by loss
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Loss
Major losses bring about great transitions which
affect our inner (psychic) and outer (social) worlds.
Three types of loss are particularly difficult to cope with
1. Losses which require us to revise all our
assumptions about ourselves and our world
2. Losses which are lasting in their implications
3. Losses which take place over a short time.
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Process of Grief
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When you
can’t forgive
yourself.
What is said of grief
When you don’t
want to face it.
When you wish
When all you
hadare
been you.
When you’re ithave
lonely.
memories
When they
leave their
imprint on
your life.
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When the world goes
on after your world
crumbles
When an
ordinary day
becomes a day
you’ll never
forget
When you
have to let
go.
When you don’t
want the memories
to fade
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Narratives of Grief
• When an ordinary day becomes a day you’ll never forget
• When you don’t want to face it.
• When the world goes on after your world crumbles.
• When you can’t forgive yourself.
• When you wish it had been you.
• When they leave their imprint on your life.
• When you’re lonely.
• When you don’t want the memories to fade
• When you have to let go.
• When all you have are memories
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• Numbness & disbelief
Experiences in Grief
• Anger & aggression
• Guilt, self-blame, self-injury
• Distress & anxiety
• Yearning & preoccupation
• Illusions, hallucinations & ghosts
• The urge to search
• Mitigating & avoiding grief
• Identification
• Hopelessness & depression
• Changes in self concept
• Anniversaries & reminders
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Archer J (1999) The Nature of grief.
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Avoidance: Confrontation: Reestablishment
Engel:
•Shock and Disbelief
•Developing Awareness
•Restitution (involves participation in the associated rituals such as
funeral)
•Resolving the Loss
•Idealization
Parkes and later Bowlby:
•Phase of Numbness
•Phase of Yearning and Searching
•Phase of Disorganization and Despair
•Phase of Reorganization
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Kubler-Ross:
•denial
•anger
•bargaining
•depression
•acceptance
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Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance
DABDA
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
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Reading
Bell, E. (2005) The A to Z of loss: the handbook for healthcare Oxford. Radcliffe
Dokn, K. (Ed) (2006) Death and Dying in bereavement: major themes in health and social
welfare London. Routledge
Humphrey G.M & Zimpfer D.G. (1998) Counselling for grief & bereavement. Sage publishing
Kubler-Ross E (2001) Living with death and dying. London: Souvenir
Worden W (2003) Grief Counselling & Grief Therapy. Routledge
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Further reading
Dowling Singh K (2000) The grace in dying: How we are transformed spiritually as we die San Fran.
Harper press
Gurbutt, D>J> (2007) Sudden Infant Death Syndrome – learning from stories about SIDs, motherhood
and loss. Oxford. Radcliffe
Kissane D.W., Bloch. S., & Clark. D., (eds) (2002) Family focussed grief therapy. Open University Press
Mace, N.L. & Rabins, P.V. (2000\) The 36hr day: a family guide to caring for persons with Alzheimer
Disease, related illnesses & memory loss in later life. Baltimore. John Hopkins University
Press
Murray Parkes C, Relf M & Couldrick A (1996) Counselling in terminal care & bereavement. BPS
Ribbens McCarthy, J. (2006) Young people’s experiences of loss and bereavement Maidenhead. OUP
Rowe, D., Jenkins, C. and Merry, J. (2005) Relative grief, parents & children, sisters & brothers,
husbands, wives & partners, grandparents & grandchildren talk about their experience of
death and grieving London. Routledge
Rynearson. E.K. (2001) Retelling violent death. Routledge
Vredevelt P (2001) Empty arms: Hope & support for those who have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth or
Tubal pregnancy. Multnomah Publishers
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