Transcript Deacons and Pastors: Partners in Growth

Deacons and Pastors:
“Ministering in Conflict”
How deacons can fulfill their biblical ministry
alongside of pastors to help their churches grow
The Problem

Churches must have the proper
spiritual climate and soil in order
to grow … and many don’t.

Underlying atmosphere of anger
and unresolved conflict prevents
growth from happening
The Solution

“Put a 50 cent plant in a $5 hole”

Prepare the spiritual soil so that
what is planted will grow

A first step toward breaking
growth barriers is neutralizing an
acidic, conflicted church climate
The Thesis

When deacon ministry is guided by
biblical patterns of activity rather
than by human customs or local
histories, then deacons can work
effectively alongside of pastor(s) in
the body of Christ to build up the
entire congregation by resolving
the frictions of daily life together.
“Customary” Deacon Roles
Power holders, decision makers
 Permission givers-deniers
 Money gatekeepers
 Grapevine workers
 Pastor makers/breakers

But what is the biblical role?

What if our typical Baptist roles
for deacons have little or nothing
in common with how deacons
were used in the New Testament?

Two key scriptures
Acts 6:1-10
 1 Timothy 3:8-15

Acts 6:1-7

Now during those days, when the disciples were increasing in number,
the Hellenists complained against the Hebrews because their widows
were being neglected in the daily distribution of food. [2] And the
twelve called together the whole community of the disciples and said,
"It is not right that we should neglect the word of God in order to wait
on tables. [3] Therefore, friends, select from among yourselves seven
men of good standing, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may
appoint to this task, [4] while we, for our part, will devote ourselves
to prayer and to serving the word." [5] What they said pleased the
whole community, and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the
Holy Spirit, together with Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon,
Parmenas, and Nicolaus, a proselyte of Antioch. [6] They had these
men stand before the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on
them. [7] The word of God continued to spread; the number of the
disciples increased greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the
priests became obedient to the faith.
Acts 6:8-10

[8] Stephen, full of grace and power, did great wonders
and signs among the people.

[9] Then some of those who belonged to the synagogue of
the Freedmen (as it was called), Cyrenians, Alexandrians,
and others of those from Cilicia and Asia, stood up and
argued with Stephen.
 [10]
But they could not withstand the wisdom
and the Spirit with which he spoke.
Surrounded by Conflict!
 Began
in murmuring (v.1)
 Followed
by arguing (v.9)
 Resolved
by wisdom/Spirit (v.10)
 Deacons
are placed smack in the middle of it all!
1 Timothy 3:8-13

Deacons likewise must be serious, not double-tongued,
not indulging in much wine, not greedy for money; [9]
they must hold fast to the mystery of the faith with a clear
conscience. [10] And let them first be tested; then, if they
prove themselves blameless, let them serve as deacons.
[11] Women likewise must be serious, not slanderers, but
temperate, faithful in all things. [12] Let deacons be
married only once, and let them manage their children and
their households well; [13] for those who serve well as
deacons gain a good standing for themselves and great
boldness in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
1 Timothy 3:14-15
 [14]
I hope to come to you soon, but I am
writing these instructions to you so that, [15]
if I am delayed, you may know how one
ought to behave in the household of God,
which is the church of the living God, the
pillar and bulwark of the truth.
Deacons: Addressing Church Issues

Gossip


Social offenses


“not greedy for money”
Doctrinal disagreements


“wine/temperate”
$$ scandals


“deacons not double-tongued”
“hold fast … to faith”
Family tensions

“manage households well”
Observations …

1. Law #1: Friction occurs when moving parts touch.

2. Being in church doesn’t exempt us from Law #1.

3. Deacons are placed square in the middle of situations
of church tension, conflict, gossip, etc.

What is our role in these situations to resolve conflict in a
healthy way that glorifies God and builds the church?
Deacons Helping with Conflict

Biblically, deacons have a key
role in quelling murmuring,
dealing with social and
doctrinal tensions, and
resolving arguments

All of the above must happen
for churches to be healthy,
growing communities
Fairy Tale Church Growth?

Church growth guarantees conflict
within the church body!

folding in new people

import viruses
sanctification gap
 “been here” vs. “come here”
 growing into new sizes

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I have a brilliant idea …
Let’s
take a
break!
When we return: “Six kinds of conflict”
and what deacons do about them
Six Kinds of Conflict in Church
 The
goal is not to eliminate church conflict but to:
 do
it well (“wisdom/Spirit”)
 grow from it
 move on beyond it to the tasks at hand
 Diagnosing
 can
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the 6 types of conflict in your church
help you detoxify and grow from it
1. Territorial Conflicts

More than one person/group wants same territory

Turf battles over “who gets to hang their stuff up?”


S.S. class vs. Scouts
“Priority” and scheduling issues

who gets first dibs?
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2. Border conflicts
 Occurs
when people do ministry that is perceived to
belong to others
 i.e.
the youth volunteer and staff minister who schedule
activities without communicating with each other
 Boundary
issues
 Prime:
when leaders are perceived as doing way too
much/little
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
Over/under-functioning
3. “Ethnic” conflicts
 Not
simply in racial terms, but also (especially)
generational values
 dress
codes, formal vs. informal
 quiet vs. loud
 contemporary vs. traditional
 sanctification gap
 “been here” vs. “come here”
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4. Influence conflicts
 As
new leaders emerge in a growing church, the
once-dominant leader’s influence changes
 as
the leadership pool gets diluted and rearranged
 “loss
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of control” or “power” issues
5. Ideological conflicts
 Newcomers:
infuse new blood, infect with virus?
 New
people coming into a church bring a sense of
what is right with them; this may or may not
match the values of the organization they joined
 Often
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expressed as doctrine or style issues
6. Personality conflicts
 Everyone
has a “button”
 As
a church grows, the more likely we’ll encounter
somebody who knows just how to push it
 Also,
the more deeply we know and are known, the
more this happens
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4 Principles of Resolving Conflict in
the Growing Church

Successfully navigating
conflict resolution into
reconciliation is a
prerequisite for ongoing
growth & health

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God will not entrust to us
new assignments until we
complete existing
assignments
1. Collect accurate data.
 There
are always three sides to every story:
 your
 Sift
side, my side, and the truth
through various accounts of the same event
 Guard
against gossip!
 “prayer
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requests”
2. Treat each member in the conflict fairly.

“Win-lose” solutions sacrifice long-term relationships for
short-term quiet

Ignoring or glossing over conflict doesn’t help matters


“They have treated the wound of my people carelessly, saying,
"Peace, peace," when there is no peace.” (Jeremiah 8:11)
Those who lose unfairly go underground with their dissent
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3. Maintain mutual respect by getting
beyond personalities to the issues.
 Conflict
related to issues is manageable;
conflict related to personalities gets out of control
 Jesus
did not typically attack individual leaders in
confrontational situations (ie. Pilate)
 Matthew
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18: Gospel Steps
4. Attempt to find consensus decisions.
 What
may not be my perfect solution may be the
best action for the church at this point
 Blackaby
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on “97-3” vs. “55-45”
Acts 6:7

When dispute arose in
early church and
threatened growth, church
leaders led effective
conflict resolution

Result: “a great many of
the priests were obedient
to the faith”
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Internal --> External
 When
growing
churches deal with
internal strife in a
godly manner, they are
then able to look
outward again toward
the Great Commission
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And Deacons …?

When deacon ministry is
guided by biblical patterns
of activity rather than by
human customs or local
histories, then deacons can
work effectively alongside
of pastor(s) in the body of
Christ to build up the
entire congregation amidst
the frictions of daily life
together.
The Solution
 Deacons
and pastors together
can play key roles in helping
a church break growth
barriers by tweezing splinters
gently before they create
inflamed wounds in the body
of Christ!
Great Help Available This Month!
“21-c”
 Pastors,
deacons, leaders
attend together
 1-800-255-2428 x6265
 www.21-c.org
Deacons and Pastors:
“Ministering in Conflict”
Dr. John P. Chandler
The Ray and Ann Spence Network
For Congregational Leadership
www.rasnet.org
Copy right John Chandler, 2000