Transcript The Interpersonal Communicatin Book 11th Ed.

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CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 1)
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Chapter 8:
Conversational Messages
 Conversation is an essential part of
interpersonal communication
 Relatively informal social interaction
 Roles of speaker and hearer are exchanged in
a nonautomatic fashion
 All parties collaborate and manage
conversation
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 2)
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Principles of Conversation
1. The principle of process: conversation is a
five-stage developmental process
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 3)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
Stage One: Opening
 Greeting
 Phatic communication – small talk, establishes a
connection, opens channel for further talk
 Sets tone of conversation
 Opening references
 Opening lines
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 4)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
Stage Two: Feedforward
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Signals the nature of the conversation
Opens the channels of communication
Previews the message
Disclaims
Altercasts
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 5)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
Stage Three: Business
 Substance or focus
 Most conversations are goal directed
 Taboo topics should be avoided by outsiders
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 6)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
Stage Four: Feedback
 Reflect back on conversation
 Signal that business is completed
 Positive – negative
 Person focused – message focused
 Immediate – delayed
 Low monitoring – high monitoring
 Supportive – critical
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 7)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
Stage Five: Closing
 The goodbye
 Reveals how satisfied you are with conversation
 Can be difficult and awkward
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 8)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
2. Principle of cooperation
 Cooperation – you implicitly agree to try to
understand each other
 Conversational maxims – general rules to follow
 Quantity
 Quality
 Relation
 Manner
 Maxims vary culturally
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 9)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
3. Principle of politeness
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Tact
Generosity
Approbation (praise)
Modesty
Agreement
Sympathy
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 10)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
4. Principle of dialogue
 Monologue – one person speaks and the other
listens; no real interaction
 Dialogue – two way interaction where both
participants are speaker and listener
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 11)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
5. Principle of turn taking
 Verbal and nonverbal cues signal conversational
turns
 Speaker cues
 Turn-maintaining
 Turn-yielding
 Listener cues
 Turn-requesting
 Turn-denying
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 12)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
5. Principle of turn taking (cont.)
 Backchanneling – communicate back to speaker
without taking over role of speaker
 Acknowledgement tokens or overlaps
 Functions
 Interruptions
 To take the stage
 Gender differences
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 13)
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Principles of Conversation (cont.)
Self-disclosure – communicating information
about yourself that you usually keep hidden
 Developing process
 Disclosure changes as relationships change
 Must be shared with another person; can’t
be intrapersonal
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 14)
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Conversational Disclosure:
Revealing Yourself
1. Influences on self-disclosure
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Who you are
Culture
Gender
Listeners
Topic
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 15)
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Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
2. Rewards and dangers of self-disclosure
 Rewards
 Self-knowledge
 Communication and relationship effectiveness
 Physiological well-being
 Dangers
 Personal
 Relational
 Professional
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 16)
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Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
3. Guidelines for self-disclosure
Making self-disclosures
 Appropriate motivations
 Appropriate context
 Disclose gradually
 Without imposing burdens on yourself or others
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 17)
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Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
3. Guidelines for self-disclosure (cont.)
Facilitating and responding to disclosure
 Effective and active listening
 Support and reinforce the discloser
 Be willing to reciprocate
 Confidentiality
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 18)
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Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
3. Guidelines for self-disclosure (cont.)
Resisting pressure to disclose
 Don’t be pushed
 Be assertive
 Delay a decision
 Be indirect and change topics
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 19)
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Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
1. Small talk
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Topics and contexts
Noncontroversial and innocuous
Brief
In-flight intimacy
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 20)
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Everyday Conversations
1. Small talk (cont.)
Guidelines
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Be positive
Watch for leave-taking cues
Stress similarities
Be brief but elaborate
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 21)
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Everyday Conversations (cont.)
2. Excuses and apologies
 Excuse – explanation designed to reduce
negative impact and maintain image
 Types of excuses
 I didn’t do it
 It wasn’t so bad
 Yes, but
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 22)
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Everyday Conversations (cont.)
2. Excuses and apologies (cont.)
Good and bad excuses (guidelines)
 Understand and legitimize other’s feelings
 Take responsibility
 Acknowledge your own displeasure
 Make it clear it won’t happen again
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 23)
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Everyday Conversations (cont.)
2. Excuses and apologies (cont.)
 Apology – expression of regret for something you
did
 Repair relationship
 Repair reputation
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 24)
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Everyday Conversations (cont.)
2. Excuses and apologies (cont.)
Guidelines for apologizing
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Admit wrongdoing
Be apologetic
Be specific
Express understanding
Assure it won’t happen again
Omit excuses
Don’t take the easy way out
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 25)
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Everyday Conversations (cont.)
3. Complimenting – praise, flattery
 Backhanded compliment – insult masked as a
compliment
Guidelines for complimenting
 Be real and honest
 Moderation
 Be totally complimentary
 Specific
 Be personal in your own feelings
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 26)
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Everyday Conversations (cont.)
3. Complimenting (cont.)
Guidelines for receiving
 Don’t deny or minimize
 Smile with eye contact
 Say thank you
 Explain why it’s important to you
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 27)
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Everyday Conversations (cont.)
3. Advice
 Meta-advice – advice about advice
 Explore options and choices
 Seek expert advice
 Delay a decision
 Giving advice
 Responding to advice
CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 28)
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Everyday Conversations (cont.)