Transcript Slide 1

I
LOVE
MYSELF
www.DrRochlin.com
602-459-5342
Is a popular term today that gets tossed around in normal conversation.
“ YOU have to love yourself more. “
“ WHY don't you love yourself ? “
“ IF you only loved yourself, this wouldn't have happened to you. “
“ YOU can't love another person until you love yourself first. “
These are just a few of the self-love directives that we give or get to suggest a way to more living fulfillment.
It influences who you pick for a mate,
the image you project at work,
how you cope with the problems in your life.
What
is self-love, then?
Is it something you can buy in a Beauty makeover or a new set of clothing?
Can you get more of it by reading something inspirational?
Or, can a new relationship make you love yourself more?
The answer to all of these questions is No!
Although they feel good and are gratifying, you can't grow in self-love through these
types of activities.
Since, self-love is not simply a state of feeling good.
Self Love grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.
Self-love is dynamic it grows by actions that mature us.
When we
act in ways that expand self-love in us
we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths,
Have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for
ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning,
We are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through
our own efforts.
An excellent way to begin to love yourself is to
do something loving for you.
When you treat yourself with kindness, it makes you feel good.
The more you feel good, the more you want to treat yourself with kindness.
Each loving act, however big or small, is a brick in the foundation of self-love.
So what
are the steps I need to
take to start to truly
love myself ??
Well the first thing that
needs to be addressed is your SELF TALK
What is Self Talk????
It is your internal dialogue,
self-talk is simply the way you talk to yourself inside your head.
How you explain things to yourself
Is your SELF
TALK:
positive self
talk or
negative?
What we say to ourselves
radically affects the quality of
our lives and our ability to do
things effectively.
How useful is it to always tell
yourself “impossible,” “more
problems,” “never,” and “I
can’t?”
Low-energy self-talk
Most people use too much low-energy self-talk. Blaming yourself, chastising yourself. “I’m
not good enough,” “I’m too tired,” “I’m not able.”
This low-energy talk is one of the major causes of poor performance. If you tell yourself
something often enough, you will begin to believe it. It may not be true, but you will
certainly believe it is.
High Energy Self Talk
High-energy words promote high-energy thoughts and unlike the low-energy words,
you can practice using high-energy words until your thoughts and emotions adjust for
the better.
I LIKE
MYSELF
Try this Exercise
Say to yourself 10 X in a row
I like myself
And do this at least 3 X a day
And one of those 3 X in front of a
mirror
When negative people explain bad things
They internalize them “It’s
me again.”
Consider them permanent “It’s always this way.”
Generalize “Life sucks.”
When negative people explain good things
They externalize them “That’s
just lucky.”
They consider them temporary “That went well TODAY.”
And see them only in a specific context “At least THIS went right.”
Some of the things
Negative people say to themselves
» “I screwed up again.”
» “This good weather won’t last.”
» “It’s ALWAYS a mess when I meet someone new.”
» “This party is great, not like mine.”
» “This is fun for now.”
» “Well, THAT went okay, I guess.”
When positive
people explain bad things
» They externalize them “The weather caused it.”
» Consider them temporary “That was a rough couple hours.”
» And see them as isolated “THAT part of the plan didn’t work, but…”
When positive
people explain good things
» They internalize them “Life is great!”
» Consider them to be more or less permanent changes “Now I know how to do this.”
» And generalize from them “Things are working out well.”
Some of the
things Positive people
say to themselves
» “That just went bad due to the weather.”
» “It was rough for an hour or two.”
» “The car broke down, but the trip was fun.”
» “I’ve done well with this.”
» “This has become a great business to be in.”
» “I like the way things are going.”
» Explain things to yourself differently, and you’ll see a difference in your attitude today.
» Make positive self talk your normal mode of operation, and you’ll see a difference in your life.
» Negative talk can lead to many different things including: guilt, anger, depression, pessimism,
fear and even anxiety.
» This is enough reason alone to change your negative thinking into positive thinking
» But another reason it is important is because you are a good person who deserves to have self
confidence in yourself.
No matter what
anyone tells you, you
have to find ways to
think and talk
positively all the time,
especially when you
catch yourself thinking
negative thoughts or
saying negative things.
Here are some
easy and powerful
ways to help you
implement these
new
changes
Reverse
Your negative thoughts
When you find yourself thinking or talking negatively, you want to reword,
reverse or rephrase the words from negative to positive right away.
For example: If you find yourself doing the “what if” scenario, then turn it into “I
am going to”
Associate
with positive thinkers
By being around people that think positively, you will have a much
easier time changing your way of thinking and talking about yourself.
Positive people can be a big support if you just let them.
Get away from
the negative
environment
When you find
yourself in a
negative
environment, get
away from it as fast
as you can.
Search for positive
reinforcement to
help you recharge
yourself so
negative thoughts
don’t creep in.
Do light activities
You can distract the negative thoughts by doing a light activity such as taking a
short walk and looking for positive in the world around you.
You can also start a Gratitude Journal, where you take a pen and start writing
everything that you are grateful for.
Notice how you can change your state from negative to positive.
Positive affirmations You want to use creative positive
affirmations every day, especially the times when you find negative thoughts or
negative talk creeping in.
Affirmations are easy to implement in your daily life. They are like planting seeds
in your cells and in your heart. The more you say them, the bigger they will grow.
Ok lets try
this again Try
this Exercise
Say to yourself 10 X in a row
I like myself
And do this at least 3 X a day
And one of those 3 X in front of
a mirror
Here is a Seven-Step
Prescription for Self-Love.
2) Act on what you need rather than what you want.
You love yourself when you can turn away from
Something that feels good and exciting to what
you need to stay strong, centered, and moving
forward in your life, instead.
By staying focused on what you need, you turn
away from automatic behavior patterns that get
you into trouble,
Become
mindful
Practice
good selfcare
Set
boundaries
keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.
Practice good self-care. You will love yourself
more, when you take better care of your basic
needs. People high in self-love nourish
themselves daily through healthy activities, like
sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy
and healthy social interactions.
Here is a
Seven-Step
Act on what
you need
rather than
what you
want
Protect
yourself
Live
intentionally
Forgive
yourself
People who have more selflove tend to know what they
think, feel and want.
01
Step
Become
mindful
They are mindful of who they
are and act on this knowledge,
rather than on what others
want for them.
02
Step
Set
Boundaries
You'll love yourself more
when you set limits or say
no to work, love, or activities
that deplete or harm you
physically, emotionally and
spiritually, or express poorly
who you are.
Protect
Yourself
Bring the right people into your life.
03
Step
I love the term frenemies
It describes so well the type of "friends"
who take pleasure in your pain and loss
rather than in your happiness and
success.
My suggestion to you here: Get rid of
them!
There isn't enough time in your life to
waste on people who want to take away
the shine on your face that says, "I
genuinely love myself and life". You will
love and respect yourself more.
04
Step
Forgive
Yourself
We humans can be so hard on ourselves.
The downside of taking responsibility for our actions
is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes in
learning and growing.
You have to accept your humanness (the fact that
you are not perfect), before you can truly love
yourself.
Practice being less hard on yourself when you
make a mistake.
Remember, there are no failures, if you have
learned and grown from your mistakes; there are
only lessons learned.
Live
Intentionally
05
Step
You will accept and love yourself more,
whatever is happening in your life, when you
live with purpose and design. Your purpose
doesn't have to be crystal clear to you. If
your intention is to live a meaningful and
healthy life, you will make decisions that
support this intention, and feel good about
yourself when you succeed in this purpose.
You will love yourself more if you see
yourself accomplishing what you set out to
do. You need to establish your living
intentions, to do this.
Act on what
you need rather
than what you
want
You love yourself when you can
turn away from something that
feels good and exciting to what
you need to stay strong,
centered, and moving forward in
your life, instead.
By staying focused on what you
need, you turn away from
automatic behavior patterns that
get you into trouble, keep you
stuck in the past, and lessen selflove.
06
Step
Practice
good self-care
07
Step
You will love yourself more,
when you take better care of
your basic needs.
People high in self-love nourish
themselves daily through
healthy activities, like sound
nutrition, exercise, proper
sleep, intimacy and healthy
social interactions.
If you choose just one or two of these self-love actions to work on, you will
begin to accept and love yourself more.
Just imagine how much you'll appreciate you when you exercise these seven
steps to self-love.
It is true that you can only love a person as much as you love yourself.
If you exercise all of the actions of self-love that I describe here, you will allow
and encourage others to express themselves in the same way.
The more self-love you have for yourself, the better prepared you are for
Healthy relating. Even more, you will start to attract people and circumstances
to you that support your well-being.
www.DrRochlin.com
602-459-5342