Transcript YASHEEMA MARSHALL

BREAKING DOWN THE BARRIERS
TO EFFECTIVELY ENGAGING
PARENTS
IN CHILD WELFARE AND JUVENILE JUSTICE!
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR/CPSP
RENAISSANCE FAMILY SOLUTIONS, INC.
OBJECTIVE 1
TO DEVELOP A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF THE
IMPACT OF PARENTAL ENGAGEMENT AND
INVOLVEMENT IN THE SERVICES BEING PROVIDED
TO CHILDREN IN CHILD WELFARE AND JUVENILE
JUSTICE SYSTEMS
OBJECTIVE 2
TO ADDRESS THE BARRIERS AND STRUGGLES OF
EFFECTIVELY ENGAGING PARENTS OF CHILDREN
INVOLVED WITH THE CHILD WELFARE AND
JUVENILE JUSTICE SYSTEMS
OBJECTIVE 3
TO LEARN NEW STATEGIES AND TIPS THAT WILL
ASSIST SERVICE PROVIDERS IN BUILDING AN
EFFECTIVE WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS
AND ENGAGING THEM IN THE SERVICE PROVISION
PROCESS AT ALL STAGES
WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT
PARENTAL ENGAGEMENT?
 Agencies across the country have begun to acknowledge that
effective engagement of parents in the provision of services is
KEY TO THE SUCCESS OF THE CHILD INVOLVED.
 Service providers must understand that parental involvement
and engagement early in the service provision process is
imperative to OBTAINING POSITIVE OUTCOMES FOR THE
FAMILIES they are servicing.
 Engaging parents in services who have worked with these
systems as a result of their child’s mental health, behavior
issues, developmental disability, or abuse/neglect issues
CAN BE VERY CHALLENGING YET NECESSARY.
WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
 FROM A PARENT’S
PERSPECTIVE….
 WE KNOW OUR FAMILY
BETTER THAN YOU THINK
 WE REALLY DO CARE
 WE HAVE SOMETHING TO
OFFER
 WE WANT TO BE HEARD
 WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT
"Engagement predicts
outcome. Your job is to keep
the client engaged."
Scott Miller
WHAT BARRIERS HAVE YOU
EXPERIENCED DURING THE
ENGAGEMENT PROCESS AS
A PROVIDER OR A PARENT?
WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THE
PARENT?
 Agency turnovers
 Reassignment of
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multiple providers
Bad experience
Broken promises
Cultural and linguistic
differences
Poor customer service
Judgment and blame
Alienation
Disrespectful treatment
 May cause a
parent to become
resistant to service
providers
connected with the
child welfare and
juvenile justice
systems.
WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THE
SERVICE PROVIDER?
Overworked/Burnout
Blaming
Authority issues
Lacks patience
Feels defeated
Needs support
Lacks the necessary
skills
 No proper training
 Frustrated
 Time constraints

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 May cause the provider
to be less patient and
less focused on how they
can have a positive
impact on the
relationship with this
parent.
WHAT’S GOING ON WITH
THE SYSTEMS?
CHILD WELFARE
JUVENILE JUSTICE
 WE HAVE CONTROL
 WE ARE THE LAW
 TIME CONSTRAINTS
 TIME CONSTRAINTS
 COURT ORDERS, SERVICE
 COURT ORDERS
PLANS
 CHILD-BASED
 YOU MESSED UP
 AUTHORITY-BASED
 YOUR CHILD MESSED UP
RESISTANCE
Hostile
Uncooperative
Angry
Doesn’t Care
Bad parent
Won’t change
Waste of time
Stubbornness
Obstinacy
Defiance
Hardheadedness
Rigidity
Opposition
WHAT IS RESISTANCE?
GENERAL DEFINITION:
 The act of resisting, or the capacity to resist
 To attempt to counter the actions or effects of
 To withstand the actions of
 To oppose
 To be distasteful to
FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
Providers who lack empathy, dominate discussions,
lecture to clients, move too quickly, or offer advice
from a know-it-all stance will likely arouse resistance
in healthy clients seeking someone with better
counseling skills.
DEMONSTRATION
ACTIVITY
I NEED ONE
VOLUNTER!!
POSITIVE SIDE OF RESISTANCE IN PARENTAL
ENGAGEMENT
 Without resistance, all social
systems would dissolve into chaos
and confusion, changing with every
new idea presented.
 Without resistance, families would
not have the stability necessary to
provide the structure required to
raise healthy children.
 Resistance is what prevents us from
being victims of charlatans and
sociopathic con artists.
 Resistance is what prevents us from
buying every product presented to
us in commercials and
infomercials.
 Without resistance, there would
be no sense of self.
 Resistance provides us with a
sense of being right. Can there be
right and wrong without
resistance?
 Resistance can be a sign of good
mental health and judgment.
Without resistance, there would
be no mental health.
 Without a certain amount of
resistance, we would have no stability,
predictability, security, and comfort.
RESISTANCE
IS GOOD
FOR YOUR
MENTAL
HEALTH!
FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
"Without resistance we would all be
out of a job."
Pipes & Davenport, 1990
WHOSE ISSUE IS IT?
CLIENT ISSUE

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"Any client behavior that exhibits a
reluctance, on the part of the client, to
participate in the tasks of therapy as set
forward by the therapist,"
or
"…any behavior that indicates covert or
overt opposition to the therapist, the
counseling process, or the therapist's
agenda" (Bischoff & Tracey, 1995).

"Resistance refers to the client's
unwillingness to change" (Ritchie 1986).

"…ways utilized by the client to deter the
counselor from his purpose of helping him
to change can be called resistance…" (Kell
& Mueller, 1966). (It should be noted that
these authors also discuss the therapist's
resistance to the client.)
CLIENT-PROVIDER ISSUE
 Resistance is a reflection of the
developmental level of your client
 Resistance is a signal the client is
dealing with a very important issue
(Moursund & Kenny, 2002)
 A mismatch between our method of
delivering influence and the client's
current propensity to accept the method
by which the influence is delivered.
 Resistant client behavior seems…to
conform to Newton's third law of motion:
for every force there is an equal and
opposite counterforce. (Cowan and
Presbury)
How to tell if resistance has gotten
the best of you?
 You feel like you are fighting and arguing with your clients.
 Your clients are "Yes, but-ing…" you to death.
 You are sitting on the edge of your chair, leaning toward your client
with your neck stretched out while the client sits there relaxed!
 You are working harder than your clients are. If you have more work to
do than your clients, then you should take a close look at what you are
doing. It is likely that something is amiss.
 You are worrying more and carrying more tension about clients'
problems than clients are.
How to tell if resistance has gotten
the best of you?
 You are feeling compelled to say "we" as you discuss client problems.
 You dread the session before it begins.
 You dread the session after it ends.
 You feel stressed and drained in an unhealthy manner after sessions
 You are feeling burned out with your work
 You take your clients' problems home with you on your weekend while
your clients go home relaxed and confident that their therapist has the
situation under control.
"An effortless yielding of one's
agenda is a major signal to the
client's unconscious that here is
a person I do not have to resist."
Ron Kurtz
Treat them with respect at all times

The relationship between a service
provider and a parent has to be built upon
mutual respect or it will not work.

Showing respect means not saying things to
the children about their parent that is
negative or can cause a child to question
their parent’s authority.

Showing respect means not making
decisions about their family behind their
backs without communicating with them.

Showing respect means discussing your
plans with the parent prior to making plans
with their child.

Showing respect means treating the parent
as if they are an important part of the
treatment team.
Do less talking and more “active” listening

When I say “listen”, I am not referring to the typical
routine of asking questions in an attempt to get the
answers to a form you are completing.

Listening that involves eye contact and validation of
feelings.

I suggest you spend at least the first 15-20 minutes
just listening to the parent and their story.

Give the parent the opportunity to share with you
their feelings, thoughts, opinions, and views about
their current situation.

Actively listening to a parent discuss their home,
job, family, and personal life can help you learn
important and relevant information that can assist
you in working with that family.
Create plans with the collaboration
of the parent and/or child
 Allow parents to be a part of the
planning from the beginning.
 NO Cookie-cutter plans
 Although there are some areas of the
service plan that may be legally
required, the parent and child can still
be included in the overall planning for
their family.
 Including the parent in the planning
process will help a service provider to
build a collaborative partnership with
the parent/caretaker involved and
also make them more accountable
when it is a plan that they were a part
of creating.
Meet them at their level and
understand their capabilities

When you are communicating with parents use language
that they can understand.

They may be experiencing some personal circumstances
that will affect their level of understanding, motivation to
change, and capacity to perform at an expected level.

You may also have a parent that is challenged mentally or
intellectually so you may have to communicate differently
so they can understand and follow through with services as
needed.

Don’t assume that the parent knows what you are talking
about or has had everything explained to them or
understands everything.

It does not matter how long they have been involved in the
system with their children or as children themselves, they
may not understand what is going on with their family and
it is very important to effectively communicate this to
them.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
"Where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis
folly to be wise."
Thomas Gray (1716-1771), English poet
Be an expert in your field and share
information to help the family
 Come bearing gifts for the family----give
them relevant information and
resources that will help their family
grow and be successful.
 Be knowledgeable about your field and
related avenue of resources—show
confidence that you can help the family
come out of their situation.
 Parents don’t want to listen to someone
that doesn’t know anything about the
circumstances they are experiencing.
 Be a resourceful service provider and
you will be seen as someone who is
valuable to the their family.
Ask them instead of telling them
 Telling parents what to do about their family
is the first step to the beginning of an
ineffective working relationship.
 Asking the parent what they need to help
their family is the best way to build a trusting
partnership with that parent.
 Parents actually have good insight into their
family’s situation, why they are there and
some ideas to help them come out of the
situation but they made need support and
motivation and guidance to help them get
there.
 Asking them as parents what types of
programs they think may be appropriate for
their youth and their family is a great way to
begin to empower that parent to turn things
around for their family.
Recognize that they are truly the experts

It is a reality that they know more about
their family and their children than you as a
service provider could ever know.

You’re the expert in your field and may have
been around quite some time but each
family has their own history and dynamics
that only that family can understand.

Parents can contribute more to the process
than we give them credit for and often
detect this attitude of “you don’t know what
you’re doing”—causing them to shut down
emotionally/mentally from the process and
let us “do our thing”.

If we could try trusting the parents as the
experts for their family and communicate
this to them in the beginning this will
empower them to be our ally in helping
them and their family.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
"Clients do not care how much
you know until they know how
much you care."
Maintain a positive attitude
 When we as service providers are engaging
parents we usually become involved at a time
where they may be experiencing a sense of
hopelessness, frustration, anger and
depression.
 They don’t want to hear negative words from
anybody especially a service provider that
has been sent to “help” them.
 It is important to be that voice of positive
reason, hope and encouragement for that
family in order to help them see past their
current circumstances.
 If you as the service provider can’t express a
sense of hope and passion in helping the
family change and come out of their situation
then they probably will not take your work
with them serious and simply go through the
motions to get you out of their life as soon as
possible.
Be dependable and accountable

Don’t tell parents you can do something for
them and then do not follow through with what
you tell them because they will not forget.

If I don’t know something or a parent needs
something that I’m not sure I can provide them
I simply say “I’ll check on that for you and get
back with you.” But make sure you followthrough with an answer promptly within the
next day or so.

A lot of parents that you are working with
already have reservations and concerns about
whether they can trust someone working
within the “system”. So, when we as workers
don’t follow through with what we say then we
reinforce the belief that workers can’t be
trusted and they don’t really care about us.

It is always a goal of mine when working with
parents to treat them like I want to be treated.
Our parents should be able to count on us to be
dependable and accountable to what we say
and what we do as a part of providing services.
Acknowledge resistance and
respect it

Some parents will naturally respond with
resistance to a service provider being involved
with their family for various reasons.

A service provider shouldn’t automatically
assume that parent is being hostile,
uncooperative and hiding something just
because there are experiencing some resistance
from that parent.

The engagement process may take more than
one or two visits to even begin to get that
parent to actually become less resistant and
open to the process.

It is important to empathize with that parent
and reassure them that you are there to help
them
MY FINAL THOUGHTS
The more resistant the client,
the more empathy is needed in
the engagement process
Staying motivated, committed, persistent
and creative in your delivery will break
down those walls of resistance and make
way for a very effective working
relationship with that parent.
AND REMEMBER…
You cannot change your
clients; you can only change
how you interact with them
MY INFORMATION
YASHEEMA MARSHALL
RENAISSANCE FAMILY SOLUTIONS, INC.
ORLANDO, FLORIDA
407-307-5591
[email protected]
www.renaissancefamilysolutions.com
www.yasheemamarshall.com
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