Transcript Emotional Development from 1-3

Emotional Development
Ages 1-3
Chapter 11
Intro to TOYBOX
Emotional Development from 1-3
When you hear the word
emotional
what comes to mind?
Two Types of Development…
• Emotional Development
• process of learning to recognize and express
feelings and to establish a personal identity
• Social Development
• process of learning how to interact and
express oneself with others.
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Toddlers go through cycles of emotions and
can alternate between…
– Frustration, rebellion
– Happiness, calmness, stability
Emotional Development from 1-3
• At 18months, toddlers are typically:
• Self-centered
• Why is this?
• As infants, their
needs are met
Emotional Development from 1-3
• What is one of the very first words toddlers
learn?
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Negativism:
– Fancy word for the “no phase”
– Doing the opposite of what you are asked
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Why do toddlers go
through the “no” phase?
• They want to be independent
• Saying “no” helps them
feel like they are making
the decision
• They might say “no,” even
if their true desire is “yes”
Why do toddlers go
through the “no” phase?
• Frustration
– They want to do more than
their bodies will let them
• They don’t have enough
language skills.
– understand
most words
– cannot always
express their feelings
with words
Why do toddlers go
through the “no” phase?
– They are beginning to realize that they are their own
person
– Separate from their parents!
– This idea is exciting and scary at the same time
– Excited to be own person
– Still wants deep connection
with the caregiver
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Brain Development
• Cortex (brain’s language
center) is developing
rapidly after 18 months
18 months
24 months
knows 50-150 words
knows 300 words
understands apx. 1000 words
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Strategies to help with negativism
– Give the child choices
– Let the child choose between
two acceptable alternatives
– What could you say instead of
“Pick up your books and toys?”
– “Which would you like to pick
up first- your books or
your toys?
Strategies to Help with Negativism
• More strategies…
• Redirect the child
– Distraction
• Encourage talking
– “Use Your Words”
Temper Tantrums
• Temper Tantrums
– Usually begin around 18 months and can go on
until age 3 or 4
– Children release anger and frustration by
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•
•
•
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Screaming
Kicking
Crying
Pounding
Sometimes hold their breath
Temper Tantrums
• Why do temper tantrums happen?
• When a child is told “no” to something they
want
• More likely to happen if child is tired or
frustrated or hungry
How to deal with Temper Tantrums
• If you are at home…
– Try to ignore it
• If you are in public…
– bring the child to a quiet
spot to cool down
• Always remain calm and
speak quietly and firmly
• Resist the urge to respond
with a loud or angry voice
How to deal with Temper Tantrums
• Acknowledge…
• the child’s feelings
while explaining the reason
that the child’s demands
can’t be met
• Stick to the limits you set!
• Consistency is KEY
How to deal with Temper Tantrums
• More tips…
• Make sure that child cannot hurt themselves or
others
• Once it’s over, praise the child for calming down
• Keep explanations short and simple
• Remember!
• This is a normal part of a toddler’s attempt to
assert his independence!
How to deal with Temper Tantrums
• Most important thing to remember:
–Do NOT give in to them!
• Why not?
• Children will learn
that they WORK,
and then do it
more often!
Emotional Development from 1-3
• How does a 24 Month-old typically act?
– Speech and motor skills have improved
– Is more patient
– Expresses love and affection
– Seeks approval and praise
• Gets along better with others
– More outgoing and friendly
– Less self centered
– Easier to reason with
30 Months
• At 30 Months (2 ½ Years)…
– Learning so much and often
feel Overwhelmed
– Immature
– Strong need for independence
– Know what they want to say but cannot say it
– Sensitive about being bossed, shown, or
helped
– Need consistency and routines
30 Months
• Moods can change rapidly between…
• Stubborn, demanding
• Loving and charming
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Children feel both dependent and independent
May seek help some times, not others
Require love and patience
Needs consistency and routines
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Why are routines important to young
children?
– Helps build confidence
and a feeling of
security
– Children know what
to expect
Emotional Development from 1-3
• 36 Months (3 Years)
– Generally happier, less frustrated
– More cooperative, will change behavior for praise
– Learning to be considerate, can be reasoned with
– More physically capable
– More willing to take
directions from others
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Three year olds
LOVE to talk!
– To play mates
– To toys
– To self
– To imaginary companions
– 1/3 of children are said to have them!
Emotional Development from 1-3
• 42 Months (3 ½ Years)
– Becomes insecure
– Parents may feel a backslide
– What sorts of fears are
common?
– Afraid of dark
– Monsters
– Strangers
– Loud noises
Emotional Development from 1-3
• What are some physical ways that emotional
tension can show up?
– sucking thumb
– biting nails
– Stuttering
An Emotional Rollercoaster
Directions:
Describe a typical toddler at each age. With your group, write a
phrase that that child is likely to say (or think) based on what you
know about their emotional development.
2 Years
3 Years
18 Months
2 ½ Years
3 ½ Years
Emotional Development from 1-3
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Anger
– Often child’s way of reacting to frustration
– By 2 or 3, kids can target who they are mad at
– More likely to happen if child is sick, tired, uncomfortable,
hungry
– Often feel angry if they don’t get their way
• How does a child typically express anger at 18 months?
– Hit or kick
• How does a child typically express anger at 3 years?
– Name calling, pouting, scolding
Acceptable Ways of Handling Anger
• Use words
– Rather than acting out physically…
– Express feelings with words
• Speak calmly
– Even when angry, do not shout, scream or yell
• Take deep breaths
– Encourage child to try
– You too!
Handling Anger
• Why is it important to not make
child feel bad for being angry
• Child needs to know his feelings
are OK and we all get angry
sometimes
• When should you discuss the
misbehavior and
punishment?
• After the child has calmed down
• Suggest other ideas for the
child so he knows what to do
next time
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Most children have
some fears
• Age 1, strangers
• Age 3, the dark
• Why are some fears
useful
• they help keep a child
safe
Emotional Development from 1-3
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•
Is anyone afraid of…
Spiders?
Snakes?
Heights?
Flying?
• Are your parents afraid?
• Parents sometimes
pass on fears to
their kids
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Separation Anxiety is…
• Very common
• But I feel bad! What
can I do?
• Know that you have
chosen a safe place
• Tell child when you
will be back
• After nap, not at 3:00
Ways to help Toddler’s Deal With Fears
• What are some ways to help a toddler deal with
fears?
• Offer support and understanding
• Never shame a child for their fears
• Encourage talking and listen intently
• Read books about a child with the same fear
• Discuss new situations in advance
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Jealousy
• Varies by age
– 12 Months - minimal
– 3 Year Old – peaks
• Sibling Rivalry
• If there is a new baby, the older child might…
– Show off
– Revert to old behaviors (bed wetting, baby talk)
– Sometimes can be aggressive or mean
Emotional Development from 1-3
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Love and Affection
– Can relationships that children have between 1-3 can
affect the child’s capacity for love later in life?
– Research says yes
– Babies…
– “love” those who meet their needs
• As children grow, affection
grows to include
– Siblings
– Pets
– People outside the home
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Toddlers learn that their actions can hurt others…
• Typically between 12-18 months
• First step to developing empathy
• What does empathy look like for each age?
• 12 Months
– Child may rub back and talk to another who is sad
• 24 Months
– Child may offer stuffed animal to help cheer up sad friend
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Tips to help teach children empathy
• If a child does something to hurt
another child’s feelings
– Correct the mistake
– Apologize
– Ask child to take an active
step towards helping child
feel better
Emotional Development from 1-3
• You are babysitting David. He took a toy out of
Caleb’s hands. Now Caleb is crying. What could
you do to help David develop empathy?
• Return the toy
• Say sorry
• Offer to share another toy?
• Offer a hug?
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Individual Differences
• These are all
generalities. Remember:
• Each child is unique
• Lots of differences
between ages 1-4
• A child’s temperament can make a big difference
• Family life: Only child vs. family of five kids
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Self-Concept
– Children become more aware of their individual
differences and the traits that make them special
• How do children develop their self-concept?
– Based on actions, attitudes and comments of others
– Parents or primary caregivers have the strongest
influence on a child’s self-concept
– Mastering skills helps children develop positive selfconcept
Emotional Development from 1-3
• Why is sleep important in emotional development?
– Children need enough sleep to be able to function
• If they don’t get enough sleep…
– May be less alert, inattentive, even hyperactive
– may have difficulty thinking, which may impair their ability to
control their emotions
• How much sleep does a 1-3 year old typically need?
– 12-14 hours each night
Social Development from 1-3
Intro to TOYBOX - Ch 11.2
Social Development from 1-3
• Socialization
• 18 Months
– parallel play
• 2 years
– begin to understand
sharing
– Still parallel play
Social Development from 1-3
• 2 ½ Years
• Negativism affects friendships
• Begin to grasp idea of fairness
• 3 Years
• Cooperative play
• Helping others
• 3 ½ Years
• Resolve conflicts
• Evaluate friendships
Social Development from 1-3
• Making Friends
– Important skill
– Kids learn the “give and take”
of socializing with others
– May need to teach how
• Need contact with other young children
– Learn to cope with kids - rough and tumble
– Adults are more considerate and polite
– Let kids work it out unless it is physical or emotionally
damaging
Social Development from 1-3
• Imaginary Friends
– Can appear around age 2
– More common at 3-4 years
– Can be helpful for kids
to cope with feelings
– Usually
fade away
in time
• Angela asks her mother if her imaginary friend, Tee
Tee can come with her to the dentist, and her mom
agrees. On the way there, Angela admits to Tee Tee
that she is afraid of going because last time, the
dentist made her gums bleed.
• How might Angela’s mom use
Tee Tee’s presence to soothe
Angela?
• Why do you think that Angela
told Tee Tee about her fears,
rather than
her mom?
Social Development from 1-3
• How to Help Children Develop Social Skills
– Establish rules
– Model good behavior
– Help kids understand others feelings
– Show respect for other people’s things
– Show kids how to use their words
– Help kids learn specific skills (waiting their turn,
sharing, being kind, etc…)
Social Development from 1-3
• Guidance
– Not the same as
“punishment”
– Helps kids learn
self-discipline
– Helps with moral
development
– No single way is the
“best” and your
methods will change as the child ages
Guidance
• 12-15 Months
– Distract and physically remove object
• 15-24 Months
– Spoken instructions + distract/remove
• 2-3 Years
– Spoken instructions, explain reason to child
• 3 Years
– Usually like to please and will respond to spoken
instructions well
Social Development from 1-3
• Setting Limits
1.
2.
3.
4.
Show an understanding of the child’s desires
Set the limit and explain it
Acknowledge the child’s feelings
Give alternatives
Be firm and consistent!
Social Development from 1-3
• How can you help encourage independence?
– Have realistic expectations
– Kids can begin to
– Dress, eat, help with some chores
– Be patient
– Learning self help skills
increases confidence
– These skills come after a lot of practice
Social Development from 1-3
• How can you help to promote sharing?
• Engage in activities that
require sharing
• Limit materials available
• Make kids take turns
• Use the words “sharing”
or “taking turns”
• Put special toys away before friends come over
What are the differences in these
two pictures?
Social Development from 1-3
• Biting
– Infants – teething
– 1 Year – see what happens
– 2-3 Years – to get their way
• Hitting
– Kids are impulsive, still self centered
– React calmly and help child to use her words
• Time out
– One minute per year of age
Social Development from 1-3
• Translate these messages into language that avoids
scolding or placing blame.
• To a 1 Year Old:
– “I told you not to touch that electrical cord!”
• To a 2 Year Old:
– “If you jump on your bed again, I might have to take it
away!”
• To a 3 Year Old:
– “I told you to stay in the yard, but you didn’t listen. Maybe
you shouldn’t get to go outside.”
Activity
Jake has been working as a volunteer
at a child care center. Each day when
he’s done, he asks the lead teacher
about what he’s seen that day. Read
his questions and imagine what you
think the teacher would say.
Activity
• Shayna, who is two and a half, sat for a long
time just watching a boy about the same age
play with blocks. Is there something wrong
with her that she’s not joining in?
Activity
• Joe was talking about somebody named
Justin. But there isn’t anybody in the center
or his family with that name. One of the other
staff members said that this was Joe’s
imaginary friend. Is it OK for him to have an
imaginary friend?
Activity
• One time when two girls were fighting over
who would play with the fire truck, you
stepped in right away. They were about 18
months old. Why didn’t you let them work it
out for themselves? Isn’t it better for them to
learn to solve their own problems?
Activity
• You seemed to make a special point of
praising that really quiet girl, Ariana. You told
her how much you liked her finger painting,
how much she helped in handing out snacks,
and how well she sang during music time.
Why make such a big fuss over her, when
there are lots of other kids who do more or
better than she does?