Transcript Document

Positive parenting: A family approach to
protect children from violence and neglect.
AVSI experience in the Great Lakes Region
Rita Larok
National Conference on Violence Against Children – Kigali – 3-4 October 2011
Overview of the presentation
•
•
•
•
Key definitions
About AVSI
What we need to know
Case examples – illustrating
positive parenting
• Using the family approach:
Other practical examples of
positive parenting
• Justification for the family
approach – positive
parenting: OVC project
research:
• The Future: SCORE
Key definitions
• Positive parenting:
– A positive parenting approach is child-centric, placing at the
heart of every interaction the best interests of the child
– Considers the child as a valuable human being as any other. With
desires, needs, capabilities and even fears
– Central to this approach is the relationship between the child
and the parent/care giver
– The parent is a mentor and a guide who uses positive discipline
• Positive discipline:
– providing positive reinforcement for good choices as well as
consequences for poor choices. A positive discipline approach
rejects the use of violence as a tool for teaching. It’s about
making a long-term investment in a child’s development, rather
than grasping for immediate compliance.
Key definitions
• Family based approach to
care for vulnerable children:
– An approach that considers
the family as the best and
most critical point of care
and protection for a child
– Emphasis on stimulating
the families capacity to
care for and protect their
own children
– Considering the family as
the first line for care and
protection and as a
resource
Practical positive parenting
the human being defines him/herself
in relationship to “another”.
The family is a human shelter woven
by relationships and belonging
What we need to know:
• Parents are agents of
socialization
• Children emulate their parents
and thus the need to have
positive parents who can be role
models / a source of education
for their children
• Children can be affected
physically and psychologically
when they live in violent homes
and thus the need for stable
families
• Parents give what they are.
Therefore the need to ENGAGE
families NOT REPLACE them
What we need to know:
• Children are unique and will behave differently. Getting to know
your own child, and knowing what makes them angry or agitated
can help you prevent angry or upsetting situations before they
happen.
• Your child will behave in a challenging way because of many
reasons:
• they want their parent to listen to them;
• they want their parent to spend time with them
• They have been through traumatic events
• They observe negative behavior from their peers and
parents
• They are just adjusting and growing
• They are protecting themselves against further abuse
What we need to know:
Parenting Tips
• Talking and listening to your child helps them to understand what’s going on:
– Language: Try to use positive words. Tell your child what you want them to
do, not what you don’t want them to do.
– Change your tone
– Listening: Encourage your child to talk to you – sit beside him/her – they’ll
find it easier to talk and listen to you if you’re not standing over them.
– Explaining: If you have to say ‘no’, give your child a good reason and offer an
alternative
– Involve your child: Where possible talk with them about the rules and what
you expect from them.
• Communication through play
• Understanding Changes as children grow
• Rewarding and Noticing good Behavior
– Start from the positive -Praise: As a general rule, try to give five times more
praise than criticism.
• Build Self Confidence
• Avoid comparisons
• looking after yourself
Case 1: Joe
• Joe is a difficult 17 yr old. He's a total orphan, who lives with a
grandma in a rural village.
• He lives there with 13 other children, some younger and others
older. He doesn’t want to do anything. He wakes up in the
morning, has breakfast and takes off.
• He returns in the evening, exhausted and even drunk. The Local
councilor as well as other village members have warned grandma that the next time they see Joe, they will kill him because he
steals their property and sells it off.
• He's also being accused of having made a 13 yr old girl pregnant
• What do we do with Joe?
– Take him to prison?
– Beat him up?
• Knowing the cause for Joe’s behavior is critical in helping him
Case 1: Taking medicine
• Your 4 yr old child refuses to take an antibiotic syrup (7.5ml 3
times a day) prescribed by the pediatrician for her very
stubborn cough. When you give her the medicine, she answers
that she has taken it for too long now and it smells very bad.
She refuses to take it. You are pressed with time, you need to
go to work. What do you do?
– You are torn between understanding her point and as an adult, you
know that the medicine is important
– Hold her nose and force the medicine down her throat?
– Give her a thorough beating?
– Give her some explanation on the importance of this medicine?
– Mix up the medicine with some juice/honey?
– Take some of it yourself? To prove that its not that bad?
– Keep changing the places where the medicine is taken?
– Involve the child in pouring the medicine in to the lid?
Case 2: Jebuloni’s family
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Jebuloni – Father to Joy and Simon
Violent and alcoholic husband and father
He wants Joy his daughter to be married at 12 years of age
His son, Simon, Joy’s younger brother agrees with his father that Joy
is wasting money at school and teams up with his father to beat up
his mum and sister each time
Joy passes primary school very well and encounters AVSI that pays
up part of her school fees. Her mum pays the rest and is very
happy!
She gets a job at the air port and earns 2500 USD per month)
She comes home one day and surprises the father – she wants to
build the biggest house in the village for her family.
Her father and brother are embarrassed. Her brother is now a
school drop out. She offers to pay his fees and he accepts to go to
school.
Her father – now an old man, apologizes for his past behaviour
Using the family approach: Other practical examples of
positive parenting
Early childhood development
centres promoted and run by
parents
Production of school
uniforms and starting of
School feeding programs
Using the family approach: Other practical examples of
positive parenting
•
Parental contribution to school
fees
•
Creation of Parents committees
to negotiate with schools
•
Promotion of parents following
up children’s achievements
•
Parents as trainers (peer
educators
Using the family approach: Other practical examples of
positive parenting
Parents making bricks
to be used for
construction of houses
for OVC households
that do not have
appropriate shelter
Using the family approach: Other practical examples of
positive parenting
Supporting economic strengthening activities for families
Using the family approach: Other practical examples of
positive parenting
“urubohero”
Using tradition and culture to discuss
pertinent care aspects for VC in the
context of SGBV and child protection
•Encouraging parents to play
with their children
•Sensitizations
•Adult literacy
Justification for the family approach – positive
parenting: OVC project research:
• Longitudinal Panel Study (3 Phased)
• 3 country Research (Uganda, Kenya &Rwanda)
• 1167 children and their family members interviewed
initially and at the end a 4% drop out rate due to
several reasons (total of 1053) interviewed in final
survey
• Multivariate analysis of different components
Research evidence: E.g. Characterization of Variables
{Child Personality-aggressive (2,7%)}
• The category aggressive is associated more often
with guardians who have health problems affecting
their working ability (43%), absence of income (21%)
and poor house conditions (no toilet and house
made with mud and mabati roof (39%). In many of
these cases, children are fatherless (71%) and are
male (79%). 53% live in urban slums and more
frequently from Uganda (68%).
Justification for the family approach – positive
parenting: Research conclusions
• Clear correlation between a child’s wellbeing and the family
situation (guardian’s health situation, presence/involvement of
the guardian, literacy levels of the guardian, household
nutrition etc).
• The improvement of the relationship among peers and between
adults and children is critical, as it positively affects other areas
of the wellbeing of the child like his/her education (better
performance at school), and his/her general health.
• The findings confirm that indeed a family centered approach is
more effective in promoting a child’s well-being as opposed to
simply child centered interventions.
• A comprehensive summary of the evaluation done on children
is in:
http://www.avsi.org/documenti/Tascabile11_inglow_avsi.pdf.
• The whole evaluation is in:
http://www.avsi.org/documenti/report_children_AVSI.pdf
The Future
• Programs centered on families
• Emphasis on working with/engagement of parents
• Considering families as a resource for the protection
and care of children
• Boosting the social economic capacity of families to
enable them carry out the provision role
• Designing and implementing household development
plans
• Building capacity of family members through training
• Rejuvenating all necessary social networks that can
help the family and children
• ….Example of SCORE