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The reality of online pornography and its effect on our Church and young people Agenda • • • • • • The Situation The Impact Our Response Practical Steps Conclusion Questions The Situation 60% of all internet data is said to be X-rated… Average age of first view of pornographic material is 14… Survey of 1000, 16 – 21 year olds. 60% said it was 14 or younger 25% said it was 12 or younger 7% said 10 or younger (Source BBC) 50,000 sexual predators are online now… Not a new problem, but can be concealed much easier (magazines weren't as easy to hide!) “The lads' mag I edited turned a generation on to porn - and now I'm a father I bitterly regret it” Martin Daubey, Former and longest serving editor of Loaded 1 in 3 10 year olds have seen pornography online (Psychologies Magazine 2010) The single largest group of internet pornography consumers is children aged 12-17 (Psychologies Magazine 2010) 81% aged 14-16 regularly access explicit photographs and footage on their home computers. (Psychologies Magazine 2010) 25% of Young patients being treated at a leading private clinic are receiving treatment for addiction to pornography 40% of 11 - 14 yr olds have used their mobile phones or computer to send pictures of themselves or receive naked or topless images of friends (SW Grid for Learning Mar 11). •Calls to Childline in the last year have increased by 34% as young people are worried the are becoming addicted to porn. •Girls say they feel they are being Coerced to re-enact scenes ‘I did not like watching porn at first but my dad likes it so I started watching it when he had it on’ Teenage Girl Industry Globally worth $96 billion (£61 billion) UK $1 billion In Northern Ireland the sex industry earns more than our leading two companies. What’s the situation in Northern Ireland? Love for live interviewed 8379 15 year old teenagers in their schools program 4612 Females 3764 Males During the last year have you accessed internet pornography? 93 30 26 27 1.8 MALE - 3764 1 FEMALE - 4612 Daily Weekly Not at all How much time do you spend online daily? 26 25 24 24 23 MALE - 3764 1-2 Hours FEMALE - 4612 2-4 Hours more than 4 Hours 26 Have you ever used you phone to send or receive an inappropriate image? 91 76 1 1 1.4 5.6 4 MALE - 3764 Every day Once a week 3 4 11 FEMALE - 4612 Once a month Less than once a month Not at all But it's harmless, just a bit of fun… the Ted Bundy story. I grew up in a wonderful home with two dedicated and loving parents, as one of 5 brothers and sisters. We, as children, were the focus of my parent’s lives. We regularly attended church. My parents did not drink or smoke or gamble. There was no physical abuse or fighting in the home. As a young boy of 12 or 13, I encountered, outside the home, in the local grocery and drug stores, softcore pornography. From time to time, we would come across books of a harder nature - more graphic. This also included detective magazines, etc., and I want to emphasize this. The most damaging kind of pornography - and I’m talking from hard, real, personal experience is that that involves violence and sexual violence. Ted Bundy I’m no social scientist, and I don’t pretend to believe what John Q. Citizen thinks about this, but I’ve lived in prison for a long time now, and I’ve met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence. Without exception, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography - deeply consumed by the addiction. The F.B.I.’s own study on serial homicide shows that the most common interest among serial killers is pornographers. It’s true. But there are lots of other kids playing in streets around the country today who are going to be dead tomorrow, and the next day, because other young people are reading and seeing the kinds of things that are available in the media today. The Impact Porn Changes the Brain Neurons that fire together, wire together. Just like other addictive substances, porn floods the brain with dopamine. That rush of brain chemicals happening over and over again rewires the brain’s reward pathway ultimately changing the make up of the viewer’s brain. This can result in an increased appetite for porn. Porn is Addictive It wasn’t very long ago that doctors and researchers believed that in order for something to be addictive, it had to involve an outside substance that you physically put into your body, like cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs Porn affects behaviour Many porn users find themselves getting aroused by things that used to disgust them or that go against what they think is morally right. And once they start watching extreme and dangerous sex acts, these porn users are being taught that those behaviours are more normal and common than they actually are. Porn addiction escalates Because of its addictive nature, in order to just feel some sense of normality, an individual usually needs an ever increasing dosage of porn. The material that they seek out also evolves. Overtime their appetite pushed them to more hard-core versions to achieve the same level of arousal. Porn kills love In real life, real love requires a real person. Research has found that after men are exposed to pornography, they rate themselves as less in love with their partner than men who didn’t see any porn. On top of that, another study found that after being exposed to pornographic images, people were more critical of their partner’s appearance, sexual curiosity, sexual performance, and displays of affection. Porn is a lie In porn, everything from the way people look to how and why they have sex is a lie. Porn users often get so obsessed with chasing something that isn’t real that they miss out on actual relationships. Porn ruins your sex life Porn often leads to less sex and less satisfying sex. And for many users, porn can eventually mean no sex at all. Porn hurts your partner Several studies have found that partners of porn users often report feeling loss, betrayal, mistrust, devastation, and anger when they learn that the other half of their committed relationship has been using porn. Many show physical symptoms of anxiety and depression. Porn leaves you lonely The more pornography a person consumes the harder it becomes for them to be aroused by a real person or a real relationship. As a result, many users start feeling like something’s wrong with them; they don’t know how to be turned on by a real person, much less form a deep personal connection with one. The spiritual impact “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched” (Proverbs 6:27-28) “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28). SPIRITUAL IMPACT The spiritual impact Guilt Separation from God Sense of worthlessness Withdrawal SPIRITUAL IMPACT Our Response Communication is key Porn needs to be on the agenda. Communication/Education needs to be sensitive – no need to arouse curiosity. Once out in the open, keep the lines of communication open. Accountability is beneficial Key Principals • Practical steps are useful and should be implemented but are not an alternative to communication. • Technology changes constantly so what works today won't work in future, stay informed. • Kids are smart, parents need to get smarter and be helped. • While it might seem like it for some, its not rocket science. Society & Government UK Government announced default on internet filters Leading internet firms have said they will continue to promote the use of "family friendly parental controls" but have rejected calls for default filters for pornographic content to be introduced from next year - arguing they can be "circumvented". Some education advocates have suggested "teaching" young children about porn, how to view it and understand what's being shown. Protection • We would not let a tiger into a room with our children, close the door and assume they are OK. • We would not let an unknown stranger walk into our houses and spend time alone with our kids. Why do we not put the same control in place with the internet? Practical Steps Options • Physical Environment • Software based options • ISP based options • Router based options • Tablet & Smartphones • Checking activity General Internet Access rules • Know your child’s passwords (or device unlock codes) • Know your child’s online passwords and have access to their accounts • Caution - email accounts are easy to come by! • Know what they are using the internet for • Take time to teach them how to use the internet Physical Environment • Where is internet access available from? • Restrict access to family area's when adult supervision is present • Restrict access in bedrooms • Time limit internet access to family safe hours • Don't forget about iPod's and the like Software Based Options • There are a wide number of software solutions available. • Useful when internet access is restricted through a single source. i.e. a family desktop or laptop • Can provide more than just monitoring and blocking, accountability… Cyber Patrol Net Nanny Covenant Eyes Software Approach Pro Con Effective filtering and monitoring Only protects devices it’s installed on Subscription service ensures it’s maintained Can protect adults and children Can require annual or monthly subscription (small price to pay for safety?) Can be worked around by tech savvy kids Router Based Options • Router based control is the best means of guaranteeing safe access regardless of device (in the home using Wi-Fi) • Prevents access to adult sites through Internet filtering • Free and quick to implement (usually) Router password You need to own the router password If your child wants onto the router Ask them why? Sit with them and know what they are doing Check your controls are still in place Where do I get Family Safe DNS Settings? Google for “family friendly DNS” or… NortonTM ConnectSafe - https://dns.norton.com/ OpenDNS - http://www.opendns.com/ SafeDNS - http://www.safedns.com/ All of these sites have guides OpenDNS (www.opendns.com) Router approach Pro Most effective filter, will protect any device connecting to it Provides options to limit device times Free to implement Con More technical to implement (but not unmanageable) Tech savvy kids can potentially override it. May require an additional device ISP Based Options • ISP – Internet Service Provider • Typically provide downloads of software • BT provide McAfee Software • Virgin provide TREND Micro Software • Plus.net provide McAfee Software (at a cost) Tablets and iPods Best protected through router based approaches Have some inherent restriction capabilities build in, but don’t rely on them alone Safe surfing apps are available but again don’t assume they are safe enough… Mobile Internet Access • Hardest to prevent, you can’t be there • Most providers require age verification steps to be completed (credit card) before adult content can be accessed. • Restrict access to mobile internet in the bedroom, etc. For a child this device is a privilege, it should come at a price…parental access…anytime… Checking activity • Checking activity is the last resort in protection… it’s too late! • Check browser history • • No browsing history is a tell-tale sign… • Present browsing history provides nothing… Check for other browsers (Chrome, Opera, Camino, Comodo, ZipZap, SRWave, DuckDuckGo, Mozilla) Challenge "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honour, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (Thessalonians 4:3-5). Conclusions Conclusion • Be proactive • Don’t rely only on a technical solution • Don’t let tech scare you, Ask for help • Target the right audience • Change your router password!!! There is hope An addiction or use of porn can be overcome If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. (Isaiah 1:18) Xit - Training The session will briefly unpack the impact of the behaviour and address it as a potential addiction - helping us to understand it will help us deal with it 1. How to deal with this issue with young people in a big group, aware that some won’t have been exposed to it and there are those for whom this isn’t an issue. (Glen) 2. Steps to help a young person break free from the addiction - with signposting to specific resources that may be helpful. (Chris and Ian) Tuesday 20th May 7.30pm, Sandel Centre, Coleraine Wednesday 21st May 10am, Edgehill, Belfast Wednesday 21st May 7.30pm, Emmanuel Church, Lurgan Please contact Love for Life to book your place. [email protected] or telephone 0283882055 Resources http://www.loveforlife.org.uk/ http://www.nspcc.org.uk http://www.fightthenewdrug.org/ http://www.opendns.com/ http://www.urbansaints.org/region/ireland https://theresurgence.com/2011/11/19/7-negativeeffects-of-porn Questions???