Transcript Document

Understanding the
Gifted Perfectionist
7/21/2015
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Perfectionism
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On your paper draw a
rough sketch of someone
you know that is a
perfectionist.
List at least five
characteristics that help you
know that person has a
tendency towards
perfection.
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Perfectionism
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Dr. Miriam Adderholdt-Elliot’s book
Perfectionism: What’s Bad About
Being Too Good? offers the
following thoughts…
“For most people, perfectionism
isn’t a big problem. It can be,
however, for one group in
particular, gifted kids.”
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Perfectionism
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What’s the big deal anyway?
Being a Perfectionist has never
hurt anyone!
According to Whitmore, 1980, The
pressure towards perfection is the
most overlooked, yet influential
aspect of being gifted.
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Perfectionism
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A 1984 University of Georgia study
of women students discovered the
higher the perfectionism score, the
lower the self-concept score.
Type “A” behavior people have a
greater than average chance of
having high blood pressure, heart
attacks and strokes.
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Perfectionism
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Perfectionism is part of being gifted.
Expectations are extremely high for gifted students.
School, society, family and self can contribute to the
idea that peak performance should be the norm for
students selected for gifted programs.
Although it can breed excellence it can also be
destructive, leading students to think that the only
efforts worth making are those that end in perfect
achievement.
Delisle, pg. 34 Guiding the Social and Emotional Development of Gifted Youth
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Pursuit of Excellence vs.
Perfectionism
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What do you think is the difference between a
healthy pursuit of excellence and unhealthy
perfectionism?
The healthy pursuit of excellence is positive.
Having ideals and high standards is good and
needed to achieve great things.
Here is what one student had to say:
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Pursuit of Excellence Vs.
Perfectionism
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Doing the research necessary for a term paper,
working hard on it, turning it in on time and
feeling good about it.
Doing three drafts of a term paper, staying up
two nights in a row and still handing your paper
in late because you had to get it right- and still
feeling bad about it.
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Pursuit of Excellence Vs.
Perfectionism
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Studying for a test ahead of time, taking it with
confidence, and feeling good about your score of
96.
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Studying at the last minute(after three days of
procrastination, taking the test with sweaty palms,
and feeling depressed about your 96 because a
friend got a 98.
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Pursuit of Excellence Vs.
Perfectionism
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Choosing to work on group projects because you
enjoy leaning from the varied experience and
approaches of different people.
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Always working alone because no one can do as
good a job as you and you’re not about to let
anyone else slide by on your “A”
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Pursuit of Excellence Vs.
Perfectionism
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Accepting an award with pride even though the
engraver misspelled your name. (You know that it
can be fixed later)
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Accepting the award resentfully because that
dumb engraver didn’t get your name right.
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Pursuit of Excellence Vs.
Perfectionism
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Going out with people who are interesting,
likeable and fun to be with.
Refusing to go out with people who aren’t
straight “A” students.
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Pursuit of Excellence Vs.
Perfectionism
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Being willing to try new things, take risks,and learn from
your experience and your mistakes.
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Avoiding new experiences because you are terrified of
making mistakes.
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By the way…don’t say, “We don’t expect you to be perfect,
we just expect you to do your best.” Most of the time
perfectionists think their best IS perfection.
www.hoagiesgifted.org/perfectionHG.htm Shaun Hately
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Perfectionism
Take the quiz in your handout to see
if you have the tendency to be a
perfectionist.
 Strongly Agree +2
 Agree Somewhat +1
 Can’t Decide 0
 Disagree Somewhat –1
 Strongly Disagree -2
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Perfectionism
If your total is between +15 and +20, you’re
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
If your total is between +10 and +14, you’re
TOO GOOD FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
If your total is between +5 and +9, you’re
A BORDERLINE PERFECTIONIST
If your total is between +1 and +4, you’re a
HEALTHY PURSUER OF EXCELLENCE
If your total is between 0 and –5 you’re
USE TO HANGING LOOSE
If your total is between –6 and –10, you’re
A LITTLE TOO RELAXED
If your total is between –11 and –20, you’re
BARELY BREATHING
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Perfectionism
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A score of +20 indicates a high
degree of perfectionism
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Half of the general population is
between +2 and +16
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Perfectionism
 Perfectionism is a result of social
learning that occurs in childhood.
Families and teachers reward the “eager
beaver.”
 Usually first born children
(more firstborns are also identified as
gifted and talented)
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Seems hereditary because it seems to
pass from one generation to the next.
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Perfectionism
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The Superkid syndrome – we “hothouse” our
preschoolers. Just like raising a flower in a
green house we try to give them more at an
earlier age. No time for creative
thinking…too much is scheduled in.
Workaholic kids – rewarded for the things
they do, not for the personal qualities they
are developing.
Media says everything and everyone is
perfect.
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Perfectionism
CONSEQUENCES:
 Mood Swings
 Quantity of achievements is
more important than the quality
 Telescoping – magnify goals you
haven’t met, minify goals you
have already accomplished so
they seem insignificant
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Perfectionism
Consequences (Continued)
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Too focused on the future
Must get it right-no room to fail
Procrastination – if it can’t be
perfect you put it off
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Perfectionism
So now what do we do to help
students who are being crippled
by perfectionism?
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Perfectionism
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Appreciate the trait! Share with your children that
you have often felt the same way and how you have
dealt with your feelings. Perfectionism can lead to
the healthy pursuit of excellence.
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Be careful how you talk to your child. Part of
giftedness is extra sensitivity. They do not hear your
compliments and your “helpful” words are painful and
cause them to focus them on what is wrong.
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Perfectionism
How to Combat Procrastination
As Mae West states
“He Who Hesitates is Last”
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Perfectionism
How to Combat Procrastination
Procrastinators:
 Do not start projects for fear of failing.
 Do not hand in a finished project because it is
not good enough.
 Start so many projects there isn’t time to
complete any of them.
 Are afraid to take risks
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Perfectionism
How to Combat Procrastination
What do you do to help procrastinators?
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Perfectionism
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How to Combat Procrastination
Keep a “To-Do” List and rank order what is most
important to complete. List the amount of time you think
it will take.
Set goals.
Begin your day with the most difficult task, the rest of the
day will be easy in comparison.
Remove distractions from your study area. (Example,
T.V., radio, magazines)
Develop a support system
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Perfectionism
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Talk About It
One of the best ways to combat perfectionism
is to share your stress with a parent, peer,
teacher or counselor. Use a support system to
help keep you focused on your goals but also
have fun.
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Perfectionism
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Savor Your Success
Perfectionist are usually so busy they don’t take
time to savor their success.
Plan a reward for everything you accomplish
whether it is large or small. (Example: I
handed my paper in on time so I get a new
book)
Accept compliments and praise yourself!
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Perfectionism
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Schedule time to have fun together as a family.
Another strategy is to have your child walk with
you for 30 minutes every other day. After the
initial resistance, you will find they love the
exercise and begin to talk to you about what is
going on in their life.
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Understanding
the Gifted
Underachiever
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Underachievement
Draw a picture of an
underachiever. It could be a
friend, student, neighbor,
relation, etc.
 List characteristics the person
has that lets you know he/she
is underachieving.
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Underachievement
What is your definition of
underachievement?
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Underachievement
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When a child has a high I.Q. and low grades in
school (Ziv)
One whose achievement score is lower than his/her
ability score. (Kowitz)
The discrepancy between the child’s school
performance and some index of his/her actual ability.
Ability can be defined by a test or by observing the
child at home or at school.(Rimm)
A student who is not working up to his/her potential.
(Coil)
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Underachievement
Jim Delisle offers a broader definition that
focuses more on behaviors.
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According to Delisle, a precise definition like
those given on the previous page do not
always fit every child.
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Underachievement
According to Jim Delisle…..
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Underachievement is content and
situation specific.
Underachievement is in the eye of
the beholder.
Underachievement is tied
intimately to self-concept
development.
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Underachievement
According to Jim Delisle (cont)….
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Underachievement implies that
adults disapprove of a child’s
behavior.
Underachievement is a learned set
of behaviors.
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Underachievement
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Signs usually begin in third/fourth grade.
Middle school or junior high usually
marks the highest point of consistent
underachievement.
Some reverse in high school, but most
continue the pattern into adulthood.
The earlier you intervene the better.
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Underachiever Vs. Non-Producer
The scary reality…
In a review of 30 years worth of research studies
on underachievement, Raph and Tannenbaum
reported that of the studies they analyzed they
did not find one unified explanation of the
phenomenon of underachievement. Asbury and
Ziv concurs that their were no specific
psychosocial factors seen consistently
associated with underachievement.
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Underachievement
Dr. Sylvia Rimm asks the following
questions of parents. Score 1 point for
each YES response.
1. Was my child the center of an unusual
amount of attention for the first three
years of his/her life?
2. Were my child’s parents divorced before
he/she was a teenager?
3. Did my child have many health
problems as a preschooler?
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Underachievement
4. Does my child have a same
gender sibling who is less than
three years younger or older than
he/she?
5. Does my child want a lot of oneto-one attention?
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Underachievement
Scoring:
4-5 points: The child encountered very serious
risks for underachievement.
2-3: The child encountered fairly serious risks for
underachievement.
1: The child encountered only minor risks for
underachievement.
0: Indicates no obvious risk factors that would
lead to underachievement.
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Underachievement
Are there different types of underachievers?
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Perfectionist Pearl
Passive Paul
Sick Sam
Taunted Terrance
Torn Tommy
Jock Jack, Social Sally, Dramatic Dick
Academic Alice
Manipulative Mary
Creative Chris
Rebellious Rebecca
Hyperactive Harry
Bully Bob
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Underachievement
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Early Risks
There is nothing in research that
suggests underachievement is
inherited. We must look at
LEARNED behaviors.
Usually initiate the habits very
early, before entering school.
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Underachievement
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Early Risks
Environmental Factors that COULD lead to
underachievement
The unwelcome child
The overwelcome child
Early health problems
Particular Sibling Combinations
Specific Parenting Relationships
The Gifted Child
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Underachievement
Parents play a major role in
underachievement.
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Underachievement
Can the school make a
difference?
YES!!
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Underachievement
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Structure
A teacher who has a loosely
organized classroom can cause
underachievers to flounder.
A teacher who is too rigid can also
cause problems with
underachievers getting into a
power struggle.
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Underachievement
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Competition
Underachievers do not cope with
competition well.
Avoid open announcements of
grades.
Public criticism of a child’s work.
Comparison of class papers.
Look of surprise if a student does
well.
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Underachievement
Competition
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Do encourage individual performance
evaluation.
Group or team competition is fine as long
as one child isn’t singled out.
Classroom contests against another
classroom are best. It teaches students
in a safe way how to win or lose.
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Underachievement
Labeling
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The Pygmalion Effect
A label of “learning disabled” can
have a drastic effect on the child’s
achievement and self concept.
15% decrement in grades is the
average impact.
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Underachievement
Negative Attention
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If their home environment is dominated
by manipulation then they will get
attention in any way possible.
Teacher who give negative attention is
that they unintentionally help the student
maintain his/her underachievement.
The same thing can happen if the
teacher is overly sympathetic to every
hurt or call for help.
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Underachievement
Boredom
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Make sure you know how to interpret the
word.
Schoolwork that is too easy is a frequent
cause of underachievement in gifted
children.
Students learn they can coast through
elementary grades. However, the first
time they hit something challenging they
find they have not learned how to study
or persevere when the going gets tough.
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Underachievement
The Trifocal Model for Reversing
Underachievement Syndrome by Dr. Sylvia Rimm
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The
Trifocal
Model
(Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades, pg. 162, Dr. Sylvia Rimm)
Assessment
Communication
Changing Expectations
Identification
Correction of Deficiencies
Modifications at Home or School
Conform/Nonconform
Dependent
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Conforming
Dominant
Nonconforming
Dominant
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Assessment
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What is the extent of the child’s
underachievement?
This can be measured formally with a
test or informally through observation.
Identify if your student is
conforming/nonconforming and
dependent/nondependent.
Can the parent or teacher resolve the
issue or do you need professional help?
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Communications
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Parents, teachers and students
need to work together.
Track student progress to help
them.
Daily, weekly and monthly
meetings are needed.
It might not work to have the child
take around the tracking sheet.
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Changing Expectations
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Parents, teachers, peers and siblings
need to change their expectations.
Expect gradual improvement, not a
sudden leap.
Set a clear road map.
Adolescents benefit from hearing their
I.Q. scores have decreased. It can be a
great motivator.
Do not overact to the first success.
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Identification
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Children need effective models to
imitate.
Think about the sources of the
models.
A volunteer or a mentor may be a
good resource.
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Correction of Deficiencies
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This is the least difficult, but
neglect it and the entire plan may
fail.
Address special skills deficits in
each subject area.
Tutors are useful, but they need to
insist on independent problem
solving.
Practice the “speeding” exercise.
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Modifications at Home
of School
Select the most appropriate
intervention for the type of child
you have.
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Conforming/Nonconforming
Dependent
Conforming Dominant
NonConforming Dominant
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Conforming and
NonConforming
Dependent
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Parents can:
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You may have to change your intuitive response
to help foster independence.
Especially for boys make sure they have a same
gender role model.
Dependent children avoid competition so you
need to help the learn how to compete.
Teach social skills, deferred judgment.
Have them do homework independently.
Middle school students need to keep a weekly
sheet indicating homework that is not completed.
However, it works better if the child does not take
around the sheet.
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Conforming and
NonConforming
Dependent
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Teachers
can:
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Give a vote of confidence.
Record Instructions.
Help the student complete classwork
independently.
Teach goal setting.
Teach organization strategies.
Teach students the rules of the grading
game and link it to their personal control
over test results.
Facilitate social acceptance, have them
tutor others.
Be careful with punishments.
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Conforming Dominant
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Parents can:
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These students rarely fail courses,
they do just enough to get by.
Monitor Counter-Identification
Dominant children usually live in
highly competitive families.
Develop intrinsic motivation.
Parent messages should be
focused on the academic. Extra
curricular activities are only
important in that they help provide a
full life.
Teach them to be sensitive to others
and accept criticism.
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Conforming Dominant
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Teachers can:
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Provide challenge and help them to see
they do not always have to be the first or
be the best.
If the child is not challenged, grade or
subject acceleration may be needed.
Don’t criticize in front of peers. Sarcasm
and humor do not work.
Help with Intrinsic Motivation.
Need lots of help to prepare for college.
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NonConforming
Dominant
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Parents can:
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Reverse early childhood dominance.
Avoid confrontations
Be careful of their emotional ups and
downs
Threats of suicide should always be
taken seriously.
Encourage time alone.
Maintain the positive.
Unite together to parent.
Get professional help.
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Nonconforming
Dominant
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Teacher can:
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Form a Teacher-Student Alliance
Don’t Let Them Dominate the Class.
Avoid Arguments.
Channel their Energy and Give them an
Audience.
Avoid Student Manipulation.
Change Academic Grouping
Provide a Sanctuary.
Group most likely to use Alcohol or
Drugs.
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Underachiever Vs. NonProducer
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Dr. Jim Delisle argues that
definitions of underachievement
are too limiting and seek to
BLAME.
Instead we should look at the
difference between underachievers
and non-producers.
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Underachievement Behaviors
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If underachievement is a behavior it can be
changed. It is easier to change a behavior than
an attitude.
First, underachievement is content and situation
specific. Many students who do not achieve in
school succeed in outside activities or display a
talent or interest in at least one school subject.
Underachievement is in the eye of the beholder.
For some students a B would be devastating
while others would be happy with a C+.
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Underachievement Behaviors
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Underachievement is tied to self image. A child who
sees himself in terms of his own failures begins to place
limits on what is possible. The end product is low self
image.
Underachievement implies that adults disapprove of a
child’s behavior. Students labeled underachievers know
they are disappointing the adults in their lives and learn
to assess their abilities relative to what they have not
accomplished instead of what they are capable of doing.
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Underachievement Behaviors
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Underachievement is taught. Gifted children
who receive unchallenging curriculum year after
year learn to underachieve. Then, we blame
them for the problem. Many highly able
students are turned off to learning. One-sizefits-all doesn’t work.
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Underachiever Vs. Non-Producer
Underachiever(Jim Delisle, Guiding the Social and Emotional Development of Gifted
Youth, pg. 121)
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Psychologically at risk
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Does not understand causes or cures
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Dependent and reactive
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Tends to withdraw
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Respects or fears authority figures
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Strong counseling program needed
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Needs both structure and imposed limits
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Performance uniformally weak
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Requires family intervention
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Change is long term
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Often perfectionistic
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Poor academic self concept
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Underachiever Vs. Non-Producers
Non-Producer
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Mentally healthy
Can explain both the problem and the possible
solutions
Independent and proactive
Tends to rebel
Sees teachers as adversaries;contentious
Counseling needs are minimal
Requires little structure; needs breathing room
Performance varies relative to teacher and/or
content
Can be dealt with within school resources
Change may occur overnight
Frequently satisfied with accomplishments
Sees self as academically able
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Underachiever Vs. Non-Producer
Can you identify which student is the Non-Producer
and which student is the Underachiever?
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Underachiever Vs. Non-Producer
STEPHANIE (Delisle, pg. 119)
Comments about Stephanie include that Stephanie is bright,
but seems insecure about her ability to do well or she would
be more successful in school if she only gave herself a
chance. She seldoms causes trouble. She pursues her
work with caution and says it is “too hard for a stupid-head”
like me. She is her own worst enemy. When she receives
a high mark she attributes it to being lucky. When she
doesn’t do well she calls herself dumb. She is quiet and
would like to do better in school, but claims she can’t. To
the careful observer, Stephanie is a sad girl who seems to
have little hope of ever being anything more than she is
right now.
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Underachiever vs. Non-Producer
MARK(Delisle, pg. 119)
Mark is a student that every teacher hears about before the
ever meet him and he is constantly talked about in the
teacher’s lounge. His behavior and work are sporadic and
he turns in his work when the mood strikes him. He
dislikes “busy work” and teachers who assign it, but can
and does succeed on projects that pique his interest. It is
hard for teachers to assign grades. They know he knows
the concept, but he refuses to turn in the work so how can
they reward him with high grades. Getting high grades is
of one of Mark’s personal goals. To the careful observer,
Mark knows what he knows and he doesn’t want to have
to prove it through dumb assignments.
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Strategies to Help Underachievers
and Non-Producers
Common denominators between both(Whitmore, 1980)….
Supportive Strategies: These affirm the worth of the
child in the classroom and they convey the promise of
success yet to be discovered and enjoyed.
 Intrinsic Strategies: Intrinsic motivation through the
child’s discovery of rewards available as a result of
efforts to learn, achieve and contribute to the group.
 Remedial Strategies: These are employed to improve
the student’s academic performance in an area in which
he has evidenced difficulty learning, has experienced a
sense of failure, and has become unmotivated to engage
in learning tasks.
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Strategies to Help
THE BOTTOM LINE….
Put the child back in charge of his/her education.
Only when the child feels academically capable and
internally motivated to learn will school success
occur.
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