Transcript Communication Strategies (1) --- Politeness and Privacy by

Language, Culture &
Communication (1)
--- Politeness and Privacy
by
Fang Jianzhuang
Self-introduction
Position: President, Guangdong Teachers College of
Foreign Language & Arts (广东外语艺术职业
学院院长）
Degrees: MA in English Literature (GDUFS),
MSc in English language & literary
stylistics
(Edinburgh Uni., UK ),
MA in British Studies (Warwick Uni., UK)
Profession: teaching English language, literature
and culture
Research: interpretation studies, British society &
culture, English drama
BUT
A. I am not an expert on this field, not a wellinformed mind, neither am I so well-versed in
western society and culture.
B. I haven’t read a lot about this area----not too
many books available (either too general or too
narrow)， though I have searched with might
and main.
C. There is a danger that I will be accused of
playing the same old tune/making commonplace
remarks or platitude （老生常调、老调重弹）
Why Do We Learn English?
• To get in touch with the outside world
• To travel around the world
• To do business with other countries
• To attend conferences or symposiums
• To gain information and be knowledgeable
• To study, work or live abroad
• To pass exams, get promoted/better jobs
• To enjoy life better (e.g. entertainment)
• To communicate: understand others & make
ourselves understood
Is there anything wrong with the following cases?
A. When you see or meet a foreigner (someone
you don’t know) in China, you say to him/her,
“Hello” or “Hi”.
B. When you like or love something or are happy
about something, you say “OK”.
C. When you meet a foreign friend on the way
to…, you ask him/her “Where are you going?”
D. You ask a foreign tourist or your foreign
teacher “Do you like China?” or “What do you
think of Chinese students?”
1 His body is very healthy.
2 We are difficulty to finish all this tonight.
3 His sick condition is much better. He is no longer
dangerous.
4 He only said a few sentences, making us very
disappointed.
5 His work is often very busy.
6 They avoided to meet him.
7 Let’s go and eat our meals.
8 He is going to sing songs at the concert.
9 Have you paid the money?
10 Her two eyes are blind.
11 Please sit down, Mrs. Green. You can’t stand
for so long at such an old age.
12 No swimming. Be self-responsible for any
accidents.
13 Please buy tickets consciously.
14 Welcome to give your valuable opinions.
15 Please come to my humble home.(光临寒舍）
16 We shall wipe out the invaders completely,
thoroughly and cleanly.
17 Welcome our honored guests from all over
the world with the first-class service.
What Should We Learn?
1) linguistic competence: pronunciation,
grammar, vocabulary;
2) communicative competence:
customary usage (proper/correct
expressions, set phrases), strategies (start,
end, continue, interrupt, switch topics;
apology, gratitude, compliment, complaint,
declining);
3) cultural awareness: privacy, values,
modesty, generalization.
Communication Strategies
Politeness, Privacy, Moderateness, Taboo.
• Appropriateness of utterances
• Communicative functions of expressions
• Knowledge of intercultural communication
# say the right thing to the right person at the right
time on the right occasion
# The fool says what he thinks, the wise thinks
what he says. (愚者说其…… 智者思其……）
# Do in Rome as the Romans do.
1. Courtesy: Are You a Gentleman
It refers to polite behavior, kind action and good
manners.
‘Courtesy is not dead---it has merely taken refuge
in Great Britain.’
Gentleman: one regarded as having the best British
characteristics, in particular culture, COURTESY
and a good education.
. “...a king may make a nobleman, but he cannot
make a gentleman.” (Edmund Burke,British
politician)
Be gentle and courteous
“ If a man be gracious and courteous to
strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the
would.”(Francis Bacon, British writer)
“ It is almost a definition of a gentleman to
say that he is one who never inflicts
pain.”(Newman, British theologian)
a. Appropriate greetings: varying with different
persons and time
b. Understanding: avoid sensitive issues; decline
offers that are made out of politeness;
switch/change topics when the other is in a bad
mood/ uninterested
c. Helpful: offer help and support with sincerity
d. Composed: avoid getting very excited or
showing great emotion
e. Considerate: showing consideration for others,
asking for permission …
Have good manners (gestures, voice, noise,
movements)
“ Manners maketh man.”
His manners are charming.
He has no manners.
It is no manners to make too many inquiries into
other people’s affairs.
A. have presentable appearance: sloven in
dress/rough hair/unshaven mustache/ sweating all
over/smelly or stinking
.
B. keep conversation quiet or restrained: shouting
or loud speech is considered ill-bred, when
making phone calls, talking in buses, trains,
underground or in restaurants
C. refrain from making noise: belching, yawning,
sneezing, throwing nose, clearing throat
loudly or spitting , which are rather sickening
and obnoxious. (Everything out of the mouth is
not decent) Neither can one gorge on apples,
gulp food, suck tea or swallow things hastily.
D. avoid scratching head/rub hands/sit crosslegged or with legs widely apart
•
•
•
•
•
EXAMPLES
attending the class with shirt totally unbuttoned,
revealing breast
shaking legs while talking
not making eye contact
standing too close to the person as if you want
to kiss or embrace him/her
point at people with fingers: avoid making
gestures just to avoid making trouble
PAYING DUE COMPLIMENTS AND REPLY TO
THEM
START THE DAY WITH SOME
COMPLIMENTS to make others happy and
oneself delighted
have a beautiful smile/hair looks nice
look smart in your new dress/sexy
have a good sense of humor/a great personality
Your wife is charming/children are
cute/grandfather is very strong and wise
You have an excellent speech/teach very well
the report was exceptional
Your car is nice/a beautiful and spacious
house/computer is first-class
The dinner is great, excellent, wonderful. I really
love the dishes.
How to reply to compliments from your
acquaintances:
----express appreciation and thanks;
----give explanations so as to continue talking or
acknowledge other’s help;
----return the compliments: You look good
too/Your hair is also well done.
Ladies-first principle: how to keep the balance
* Women are now men’s equals: having the right to
vote/taking paid employment/ receiving higher
education/independent in society and at home.
* Feminists/women’s liberationists are opposed to
this kind of ‘surface respect’ , as the basis of
politeness towards women is they need protection.
• “When a man opens the door of a car for a woman,
it is either a new car or a new wife.”
• “It is a matter of convention that men should open
doors for ladies.”
• “Woman, thy name is fragility.”
Apology-first principle
I own you an apology/make an apology/apologize
for any inconvenience
When to say SORRY
Apologize for anything done wrong: accidental
disturbance, breach of manners, causing any
inconvenience
Show sympathy, regret so as to be understanding or
humane or be closer
Carry other meanings: blaming, warning,distressing
How to use EXCUSE ME
This is an advance apology for troubling sb or
displease sb.
SHOWING GRATITUDE: IS THANK YOU ENOUGH ?
When receiving sth. or being granted a request,
however obviously you are entitled to it, you are
always expected to say THANY YOU;
even when you decline the kind offer, THANK YOU
is still said;
when invited to a dinner/party at sb’s home,usually you are
expected to bring a little gift (flower, a bar of chocolate, a
bottle of drinks), offer to help with the cooking or washing
up;write a thank-you note/letter or make a telephone expressing
gratitude.
Be Punctual
WASTING TIME MEANS MURDER.
Don’t be late for any appointment--cinema/theatre/concert/dinner/party/ball---it is
considered very rude, impolite and irritating to
keep someone waiting.
EARLY BIRDS WON’T CATCH WORMS.
BUT don’t be earlier than is expected either on a
social occasion (not a business one). Your hostess
might be preparing for you and will be most
embarrassed if you arrive before she is quite
ready. 10 minutes late is excellent in Britain.
Don’t Take French Leave
absence from the work or duty taken without
permission
---leave the lecture room/classroom while it is in
session;
---do not return after the break;
---leave the party before it is over.
Think up a pretext or an excuse, explain to the host
that you have to be going away; express the
regret and also your appreciation of the event.
Better Late Than Never
Try to make up for your wrong doing or
inconvenience caused with excuses and
apologies;
Ask to be allowed to make efforts to compensate.
Promise Is Debt
Don’t promise at will.
---visit foreigners’ homes/help with their Chinese
language/study his proposed plan
Don’t go back on your words once you are
committed, at least fulfill part of it.
Decline Rather Than Refuse: How to Say NO?
A. Turn down an offer in an expressive and
specific way, but with a reasonable excuse:
I’d really like to, but I have to...Thanks for
inviting me, though.
I wish I could, but I have already promised to ....
Thanks anyway.
I am sorry. I won’t be able to make it because ...
I am afraid I can’t make it today. I already have
arranged to ...
I am not free then/have plans for tonight/am busy
have an appointment/busy with work/already
have had it (a few cups)/be allergic to it;
B. Then suggest an alternative instead:
e.g. Let’s try to plan for another day/How
about next weekend/Could you come on ...
C. Refuse a request by diplomatic and careful
words:
e.g. rules & regulations, beyond one’s ability,
some other reasons
D. Postpone the answer or refusal with some
ambiguous words:
I am not sure about the date yet, let me check some
time later.
I think I may have sth that day but I am not quite
sure. I will call you tonight and let you know.
I won’t know until I talk to my...who...
I am sorry I can’t decide here and now. I need to
discuss with ....
PRIVACY
People like privacy when they are dressing or
undressing.
Windows imply privacy.
It means being away from the notice or activities
of others; it also refers to secrecy: avoidance of
public attention.
The house of every one is to him as his castle and
fortress.
Every Englishman’s home is his castle.
I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I
want to be left alone.’ There’s all the difference.
The sense of privacy is absent from the Chinese
culture: privacy in Chinese implies
indecent/immoral/unpleasant/unpopular things or
conducts and behavior.
The new definition of NEIGHBOUR: one who
knows more of your private affair
不愿告人的或不愿公开的个人的事（《现代汉
英词典》）
Private. Intruders/trespassers will be persecuted.
Private business/affairs/concerns.
e.g. troubles and problems in crowded
quarters like the courtyard houses (四合
院）;
films such as “The Story of a Prostitute”
（红尘）.
‘Do you want to marry a Chinese girl?’
‘Where are you going?’
“What a terrible thing I saw yesterday. Your
friend was hugging a man in public. He is
not her husband. ”
A. Don’t be intrusive: uninvited visits are
unwelcome
---need to make appointment in advance; and can’t
bring others unless agreed by the host.
B. Don’t make yourself at home: please stand on
ceremonies
---stay too long/linger around ignoring the host’s
implication of departure;
---speak loudly, roar with laughing, even shout
sometimes;
---inspect every room or inquire about everything
in the house.
C. Don’t be inquisitive/nosy/poke your nose into
other people’s affairs
SENSITIVE AREAS :
money and cost:
How much did your house/this dress cost?
What did you pay for that car?
How much money do you make for the new job?
age: only allowed to ask children; esp forbidden to
ask middle-aged/old women
shape/appearance:
How much do you weigh?
Have you gained weight lately? ( c.f.You’ve lost
weight)
Is that your natural hair color?
marriage and childbirth:
When are you going to get married/have children?
Why don’t you have children?
You should have another child/children/get
married soon.
Others: religion/politics/profession
COMMON TOPICS :
occupation/education
weekends/holidays
weather / sports
experiences/property
facilities
family
D. To save trouble or put yourself on safe
ground, always ask the foreigner for
permission to raise some questions that
might be considered as impolite.
E. If you carelessly touch upon a private
topic, apologize and or switch the topic.
F. Avoid answering questions concerning
your own private life or sensitive issues.
一．
中西方文化的对比
1 政治：中央集权制 vs 分权/分治
2 地理：居住拥挤，密切接触，“大杂院文化”
vs 独门独户，分散，隐私
3 传统：集体主义/团队精神 vs 个人主义/自我
奋斗、自立、自强
4 价值：统一/趋同 vs 多样/多元/标新立异
5 等级/尊卑/形式 vs 平等/亲情/简单
6 强调/重复（修辞手段） vs 简扼/同义词
7 “面子文化”，饶圈子 vs 直截了当，讲究实
际
外语学习的最终结果，不仅仅是单
纯的语言交际能力，而且是社会文化
理解力，是思维方式的拓展，价值观
念重组和人格结构的重塑。
SUGGESTIONS
Get familiar with western culture and social
conventions.
Be thoroughly prepared for a social occasion,
check related ‘rules and regulations’/table
manners, etc., don’t hesitate to consult
native speakers when in doubt.
Be watchful, responsive and act cautiously.