Transcript Family Life in Islam

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Family Life In Islam
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Family Life in Islam
•Husband and Wife
•Parents and
Extended Family
by Olivia Monem
“O mankind! We created you from
a single (pair) of a male and a
female and made you into
nations and tribes that you may
know each other. Verily the
most honored of you in the sight
of Allah is (one who is) the most
righteous of you. And Allah has
full knowledge and is well
acquainted (with all things).”
(Qur'an 49:13)
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Husband and Wife
• Adam & Eve
• Rights and duties of
spouses
• Divorce & Widowhood
• Polygamy
“And among His signs is that He
created for you mates from
among yourselves that you may
live in tranquility with them,
and He put love and mercy
between you; Verily, in that are
signs for people who reflect.”
(Quran 30:21)
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Adam & Eve
The Islamic story of Adam and Eve is found in several places in the Quran, for example:
"O Adam dwell with your wife in the Garden and enjoy as you wish but approach not this
tree or you run into harm and transgression. Then Satan whispered to them in order to
reveal to them their shame that was hidden from them and he said: 'Your Lord only
forbade you this tree lest you become angels or such beings as live forever.' And he
swore to them both that he was their sincere adviser. So by deceit he brought them to
their fall: when they tasted the tree their shame became manifest to them and they began
to sew together the leaves of the Garden over their bodies. And their Lord called unto
them: 'Did I not forbid you that tree and tell you that Satan was your avowed enemy?'
They said: 'Our Lord we have wronged our own souls and if You forgive us not and
bestow not upon us Your Mercy, we shall certainly be lost' " (Quran 7:19-23).
The Quran places equal blame on both Adam and Eve for their mistake. Nowhere in the
Quran can one find even the slightest hint that Eve tempted Adam to eat from the tree or
even that she had eaten before him. Both Adam and Eve committed a sin, both asked
God for forgiveness, and both were forgiven by God.
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Rights & Duties of spouses
Rights of the Wife
Rights of the Husband
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to accept or reject any marriage
proposal
to receive “MAHR”, a gift from the
husband
to be treated with kindness and
respect
to be provided with food, shelter, and
clothing
to possess personal property, to
acquire education and to seek
employment
to be consulted before any major
family decisions
to seek divorce if her husband chooses
to marry another woman
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to be treated with kindness and
respect
to have his property, secrets and
privacy secured by his wife
to have the final say in major family
decisions, after consultation
to marry up to four wives, provided he
abides by all conditions
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Rights & Duties cont.
Duties of the Husband
Duties of the Wife
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to give “MAHR”, a gift, to his wife
to treat his wife with kindness and and
respect
to provide his wife and family with food,
shelter, clothing, and other necessities
to fulfil his role as Father to his
children
to consult his wife before making any
major family decisions
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to treat her husband with kindness and
respect
to keep, protect and guard her
husband’s secrets, their marital
privacy, and her husband’s property
to manage household affairs
to fulfill her role as Mother to her
children
to abide by any decisions made by her
husband, after consultation
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Divorce & Widowhood
Regarding divorce and widowhood in general, there is no stigma attached to divorce or
widowhood in the Quran - Widows and divorcees have the freedom to marry whomever
they choose.
Islam recognizes and allows divorce, but discourages it. The Quran offers Muslim married
couples advice on how to save their marriage. If one of the partners is jeopardizing the
matrimonial relationship, the other partner is advised by the Quran to do whatever
possible and effective in order to save this sacred bond. But if a marriage has to end,
then Islam allows the partners to separate peacefully and amicably.
“When you divorce women and they fulfil their terms [three menstruation periods]
either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms;
But do not take them back to injure them or to take undue advantage, If anyone
does that, he wrongs his own soul. Do not treat Allah's signs as a jest" (2:231).
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Polygamy
The Quran, allowed polygamy, but also restricted it:
"If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your
choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with
them, then only one" (4:3).
This verse of the Quran was revealed after one of the battles, in which dozens of men were
killed leaving behind widows and orphans.
The Quran, limited the maximum number of wives to four under the strict condition of
treating the wives equally and justly. In Islam, polygamy is only allowed, and is not the
norm. It only provides a moral and practical solution to a situation in which there would
be a great number of widows and orphans (like after a war or epidemic for example),
who would otherwise be very vulnerable and in need of a stable family atmosphere.
Men may choose to be monogamous, and in fact a first wife may include in her marriage
contract that her husband stay monogamous (a condition mutually accepted, of course).
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Parents & Extended Family
• Special status for
Mothers
• Children
• The elderly
“We have enjoined on man kindness to
his parents; In pain did his mother
bear him, and in pain did she give
him birth. The carrying of the
(child) to his weaning is (a period
of) thirty months. At length, when
he reaches the age of full strength
and attains forty years, he says ‘Oh
my Lord! Grant me that I may be
grateful for Thy favor which You
have bestowed upon me, and upon
both my parents, and that I may
work righteousness such as You
may approve.’” (Quran 46:15)
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Special status for Mothers
In Islam, the honor, respect, and esteem attached to motherhood is unparalleled. The
Quran places the importance of kindness to parents as second only to worshipping
God. The Quran in several other places puts special emphasis on the mother's great
role in giving birth and nursing:
"And We have enjoined on man to be good to his parents: In difficulty upon difficulty
did his mother bear him and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me
and to your parents" (31:14).
The very special place of mothers in Islam has been eloquently described also by
Prophet Muhammad:
"A man asked the Prophet: 'Whom should I honor most?' The Prophet replied: 'Your
mother'. 'And who comes next?' asked the man. The Prophet replied: 'Your mother'.
'And who comes next?' asked the man. The Prophet replied: 'Your mother!'. 'And
who comes next?' asked the man. The Prophet replied: 'Your father'" (Bukhari and
Muslim).
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Children
Hello everyone!
From the Islamic perspective, children are a gift and a blessing:
“Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world” (Quran ‘Al-Kahf’:46)
“And Allah has made for you spouses of your own kind and has made for you, from
your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed upon you good provisions.”
(Quran ‘Al-Nahl’:72)
Before Islam, daughters used to be killed; Islam forbade the practice of female
infanticide:
“When news is brought to one of them of (the birth of) a female (child), his face darkens
and he is filled with inward grief! With shame he hides himself from his people
because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain her on (sufferance and)
contempt or bury her in the dust? Ah! What an evil (choice) they decide on!”
(Quran 16:58-59)
Also, a girl’s inheritance became confirmed in the Quran:
“From what is left by parents and those nearest related, there is a share for men and a
share for women, whether the property be small or large - a determinate share.”
(Quran 4:7)
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The elderly
In Islam, there is no room for institutional homes for the elderly. Caring for one’s parents
during their old age is considered an honor and a blessing. The Quran says that serving
one’s parents is second to worshipping God:
“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents.
Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of
contempt, nor repel them, But address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness,
Lower to them the wing of humility, and say: 'My Lord! bestow on them Your Mercy as
they Cherished me in childhood' " (17:23-24).
The extended family plays a role in family disputes, and the opinion of the elderly
(grandparents, great uncle/aunt, etc.) are usually sought in most discussions. Marriage
in general is not just between two people, but between two families!
When a Muslim dies, he or she is washed, usually by a family member, wrapped in a clean
white cloth and buried with a simple prayer, preferably the same day. Muslims consider
this one of the final services they can do for their relatives, and also an opportunity to
remember their own brief time here on Earth.
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