Transcript Balancing Work & Home

Balancing Work and
Home
Learning to Juggle Multiple
Demands
Balancing Work & Home, 6/2004, Rev. 3/2005, T216-16-UBH
Reproduction of material for use other than intended purpose
requires the written consent of UBH.
Training Programs
©UBH 2004
Agenda
Introduction
Identifying Multiple Demands
Resource Deficits
Achieving Balance
Taking Responsibility
When to Talk to a Professional Counselor
Closing
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Learning Points
Learning Points
• Determine various sources of stress
• Take a fresh look at personal values and choices
• Learn skills for effectively managing multiple
demands
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Participants will:
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Determine various sources of stress
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Take a fresh look at personal values and choices
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Learn skills for effectively managing multiple demands
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Identifying Multiple
Responsibilities
Identifying Multiple
Responsibilities
Home/
Family
Community
Education
Hobbies
Social
Spiritual
Self-care
Work
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List all the activities, responsibilities, etc. you are dealing with in both your
personal and professional life. You might consider the following areas:
home/family, social, spiritual, self-care, work, hobbies, education and community.
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Identifying Multiple
Demands (Continued)
Identifying Multiple
Responsibilities
Home/
Family
Community
Education
Hobbies
Social
Spiritual
Self-care
Work
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Fill in the first circle, dividing it into a pie chart by showing what portion of your time is
used for which activity. Use the activities you listed in the previous exercise. Use the
second circle to indicate how you want it to be.
Parts of the pie:
Home/family
Social
How it is now:
Spiritual
Self-care
Work
Hobbies
Education
Community
How you
want it to be:
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Dealing With Resource Deficits
Rate the following resources by the following criteria:
A) How important the resource is to you
B) The extent to which you possess the resource
Dealing with Resource Deficits
Cognitive shift
Redistribution of assets
Rating Scale:
1: Not at all
2: To a moderate degree
3: To a great degree
Acceptance
Fundamental lifestyle change
________________________________________How important? Do I possess it?
1. Enough money
_____
_____
2. Material necessities (food, clothing, shelter,
transportation, etc.)
_____
_____
3. Material luxuries (large home, expensive
cars, exotic vacations, etc.)
_____
_____
4. Stamina/endurance/energy
_____
_____
5. A sense of humor
_____
_____
6. A positive outlook
_____
_____
7. Good health and attention to my physical
needs
_____
_____
8. Health of family members
_____
_____
9. Personal flexibility and adaptability
_____
_____
10. Intimacy with one or more family members
_____
_____
11. Good primary relationship
_____
_____
12. A supportive, involved partner
_____
_____
13. Time for self, personal leisure pursuits
_____
_____
14. Good relationship with children
_____
_____
15. Good parenting skills
_____
_____
16. A sense of control over my life
_____
_____
17. Feelings of success
_____
_____
18. Stable employment
_____
_____
19. A meaningful career
_____
_____
20. Opportunities to grow and advance at work
_____
_____
21. Meaningful friendships
_____
_____
22. A support system
_____
_____
23. Good child care
_____
_____
24. Help with household chores
_____
_____
25. Involvement in resources for continuing
educational growth
_____
_____
26. Involvement in avenues to help me grow
spiritually
_____
_____
27. Opportunities to be involved and to
contribute to the larger community
_____
_____
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Achieving Balance
Coping Strategies:
Achieving Balance
• Reframe negative self-talk
• Reduce unproductive guilt
• Explore organizational flexibility
• Try personal and interpersonal coping tips
• Get support
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Reframe Negative Self-Talk
The language you use to describe your feelings and situations has a powerful impact on
your stress level. Words like “should”, “ought”, “must”, “always” and “never” are
absolute and can lock you into a mindset that has a harmful impact on your self-esteem
and relationships. Below are some unproductive statements that have been transformed
into productive ones.
Unproductive Self Talk
“My life is crazy. It’s out of control.”
“I should be spending more time with
my kids.”
Productive Self Talk
“Things are really hectic right now. But I
know I can cope. I’ve done it before.”
“I want to spend more time with
my kids. I’m going to cancel my
Wednesday night appointment.”
Reduce Unproductive Guilt
• Find an authority figure to back you up
• Seek out peer support
• Surround yourself with encouraging friends and family members
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Achieving Balance (Continued)
Coping Strategies:
Achieving Balance
• Reframe negative self-talk
• Reduce unproductive guilt
• Explore organizational flexibility
• Try personal and interpersonal coping tips
• Get support
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Explore Organizational Flexibility
Be assertive and respectful about exploring avenues within the workplace that enable you
to better balance work and home activities. Although your employer may have very good
reasons for not being able to offer alternative arrangements, it doesn’t hurt to ask. Some
arrangements you may be able to negotiate include:
Flexible start and end times
Working at home
Broadened use of sick leave
Job sharing
Part-time work
Brown bag seminars on stress
management, parenting and other
topics
Personal and Interpersonal Methods
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Use “deprogramming” time and techniques to avoid thinking about work while at
home and vice versa.
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Question your standards and expectations. Which can be lowered? Which need to be
raised?
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Use humor generously and positively.
Get Support
Intimate relationships with other adults
Friends
Neighbors
Community resources
Tag team parenting and/or
eldercare
Family
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Achieving Balance:
Strategies for Home
Achieving Balance:
Strategies for Home
• Hold family meetings.
• Combine tasks.
• Rotate which needs get met.
• Get help.
• Re-evaluate priorities.
• Understand the past.
• Stop second guessing.
• Plan weekends.
• Use the calendar.
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Conduct family/roommate meetings
Combine needs/responsibilities that can be met at the same time
Rotate which needs get met
Get help
Re-evaluate old habits and priorities
Understand the past
Stop second guessing
Plan weekends
Use the calendar
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Chores: Getting the Work Done
Chores: Getting the Work Done
1. Call a family meeting.
2. Use incentives.
3. Use natural consequences.
4. Lower your standards.
5. Use the “ten minute” system.
6. Plan cleaning projects at “low impact” times of the day.
7. Consider hiring a cleaning service or arranging chore
co-ops with the neighbors.
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1.
Use a family meeting to allow family members to choose which chores to do. Don’t
assign tasks.
2.
Use star charts or other incentive systems with young children and allowances with
older children.
3.
When tasks are not completed, leave them undone if possible and let natural
consequences occur.
4.
Lower your standards. Strive for neat, rather than sparkling clean.
5.
Use the “ten minute” system. Give everyone ten minutes to see how much
straightening and cleaning they can get done. Make it into a race and set the timer.
6.
Plan your cleaning projects at “low impact” times of the day. For example, it probably
takes less time to clean a kitchen floor at 10:00 p.m. than at 5:00 p.m.
7.
Consider hiring a cleaning service or arranging chore co-ops with the neighbors.
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Achieving Balance:
Strategies for Work and Play
Strategies for Finding
Balance at Work and Play
• Use discretionary time
• Set limits
• Communicate needs
• Consider values and goals
• Acknowledge accomplishments
• Get support
• Be supportive
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Use discretionary time to meet personal needs.
Set limits.
Communicate needs.
Ask yourself: What are my values and goals?
Acknowledge what you do accomplish.
Get support.
Be supportive.
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Taking Responsibility
Taking Responsibility
• Make time to be alone
• Know your passions
• Realize that the choices are difficult
• Learn to let go
• Allow for change
• Keep communication open
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Make time to be alone. What seems to get sacrificed most often in the struggle to find
balance between work and home is time alone. Yet this might be the most important time
you spend.
Know your passions. Know what is meaningful and highly motivating to you—what
makes you feel most alive. Set priorities.
Realize the choices are difficult. The choices are ours, so make them consciously and
never be afraid to question or change them. Implicit in making choices is saying yes and
saying no.
Learn to let go. Once you set your priorities, let the rest go. Some people say you can have
it all, but in today’s culture, that is a rare phenomenon.
Allow for change. As needs, demands and situations change, so will your choices. Certain
phases of your life are time-limited.
Keep communication open. Constant communication with those around you is essential to
keeping your sense of balance. Don’t assume that what was okay with them or you
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yesterday is going to be okay tomorrow.
When to Talk to a
Professional Counselor
When To Talk To
A Professional Counselor
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Emotions feel unwieldy
Use of drugs/alcohol to cope
Reckless behavior
Decrease in work performance
Interpersonal difficulties
Disrupted sleep and appetite patterns
Suicidal thoughts
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Any of these experiences may signal the need for the help a professional counselor
can provide.
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Emotional mood swings
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Angry outbursts
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Prolonged crying or weeping
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Using drugs or alcohol to cope
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Reckless behavior
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Anxiety or panic
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Inconsistent work performance
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Interpersonal difficulties
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Withdrawal
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Low energy or chronic fatigue
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Change in sleep patterns
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Diminished or increased appetite
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Feelings of despair or hopelessness
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Diminished capacity for pleasure
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Suicidal thoughts
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For Further Reading
and Additional Resources
Books
Chick, Erica D. Fundamentals of Work-Life Balance. ASTD Press, 2004.
Drago, Robert W. Striking a Balance: Work, Family, Life. Dollars & Sense, 2007.
Evans, John. Marathon Dad: Setting a Pace That Works for Working Fathers. Harper
Perennial, 1999.
Fletcher, Winston. Beating the 24/7: How Business Leaders Achieve a Successful Work/Life
Balance. Wiley, 2002.
Harper, Rhonda. Seeking Joy: The Real Truth About Work/Life Balance – Women
Corporate Executives Speak Out. Imprint Books, 2003.
Harvey, Carolyn S. and Beth E. Herrild. Comfortable Chaos: Forget “Balance” and Make
Career and Family Choices That Work for You. Self-Counsel Press, 2005.
Johnston, Robert K. and J. Walker Smith. Life Is Not Work, Work Is Not Life: Simple
Reminders for Finding Balance in a 24/7 World. Wildcat Canyon Press, 2001.
Karst, Patrice. The Single Mother’s Survival Guide. Crossing Pr., 2000.
Koch, Richard. Living the 80/20 Way: Work Less, Worry Less, Succeed More, Enjoy More.
Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 2005.
Lim, Gary. The Road to Gumption: Using Your Inner Courage to Balance Your Work and
Personal Life. Dorato Press, 2007.
Mason, Mary Ann and Eve Mason Ekman. Mothers on the Fast Track: How a New
Generation Can Balance Family and Careers. Oxford University Press, 2007.
Merrill, A. Roger and Rebecca Merrill. Life Matters: Creating a Dynamic Balance of Work,
Family, Time, and Money. McGraw-Hill, 2004.
Molloy, Andrea. Stop Living Your Job, Start Living Your Life: 85 Simple Strategies to
Achieve Work/Life Balance. Ulysses Press, 2005.
St. James, Elaine. Simplify Your Work Life: Ways to Change the Way You Work So You
Have More Time to Live. Hyperion, 2002.
Websites
Due to rapid changes occurring on the Internet, we cannot guarantee the availability of these Websites
www.bluesuitmom.com/career/balance/
www.forbes.com/2007/03/19/work-life-balance-lead-careers-worklife07cx_db_mn_0319worklife_land.html
www.mayoclinic.com/health/work-life-balance/WL00056
www.microsoft.com/smallbusiness/resources/management/leadership-training/need-work14
life-balance-7-tips.aspx#Needworklifebalancetips
www.webmd.com/balance/guide/5-strategies-for-life-balance
Appendix A: Dual Career Stress
The responsibilities we have mean we have less time to spend on significant
relationships, often at the expense of the relationship. This exercise is designed to
measure how much stress our relationship is under and help us decide what we may
want to do about it.
How are you handling dual-career stress?
Yes
No
_____
_____
1. Has there been a balance between work and family time
this past week?
_____
_____
2. Have you taken time recently to be alone?
_____
_____
3. Do you and your partner regularly schedule some time together
away from both work and children, elderly relatives or other
family members?
_____
_____
4. Do you share household chores and responsibilities?
_____
_____
5. Do you discuss topics other than just work, the kids, elderly
relatives or other family members?
One or two no answers means your handling of stress is within acceptable limits.
Three no’s suggest that you both might want to take stock of your situation. Four or
more no’s indicate potential problems which a professional counselor may be able to
help you address.
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