Transcript Help us Overthrow the Tall/Short Mafia

HELP US OVERTHROW THE
TALL/SHORT MAFIA
Ray Magliozzi
Our New Year's Resolution this year involves Starbucks Coffee.
Now as good as their coffee is, they have unnecessarily complicated
my life and probably everyone else's life, too. I'm not even going to deal with
the fact that they make you choose between a million different kinds of
coffee, like decaf, macchiato, americano, skinny, ice, mocha, latte, schmatte,
and all that stuff. We'll deal with that problem another time.
Today, I want to deal with their ridiculous size-related nomenclature.
And I want to tell you what WE can do to wipe it off the face of the earth.
Keep reading, because this "resolution" includes an exciting call to action that
we can ALL participate in.
Remember the old days, when you asked for a cup of coffee and
someone would say, "Large or small?" Well, apparently, "large" and "small,"
weren't good enough for Starbucks. Noooooo. So they come out with "short"
and "tall." That's pretentious, but it's not the end of the world. If it had
stopped there, I wouldn't be asking the entire Car Talk Nation to rise up and
join me in my Coffee Action today.
So what went wrong? Well, suddenly, "tall" becomes "medium." So if
you ask for a "tall," you get a "medium." Well, I didn't want a "medium." I
wanted TALL! Tall is what!? BIG! TALL! Right??
It turns out they've introduced a new size...above "tall." "Grande!" So
now "grande" is large, "tall" is medium, and "short" is small. You following me?
Then they add a whole 'nother group of drinks, for which there is an
even LARGER size than "grande." Now, in some drink categories, you can get
a "vente!" That's apparently Italian for "humongous." And to make matters
worse, you can't get a "short" in that category, so "tall" becomes "small!" I
went in and asked for a "tall," and I got the smallest thing on the menu! And
I'm sick of it!!! Sick I say!
So for the last three months, every time I go into one of their stores, I
end up having a fight with the poor guy with the nose-ring behind the counter.
I say "I want a small iced cappuccino." and they guy says, "You mean tall?"
"NO, I DON'T MEAN TALL! I said small and I mean small!" and I duke it out
with the guy while ten people behind me are yelling and screaming to have
me physically ejected from the store. Then I have to go down the street to
Dunkin Donuts--where they still understand the words "large" and "small."
So here's my resolution, and I hope everyone reading this today will
join me in this worthwhile project. I'm going to walk into Starbucks from now on
and I'm going to refuse to play their game. I'm going to refuse to use their
obtuse nomenclature.
From now on, I'm going to walk up to the counter and say,
"Gimme two bucks worth," and when they say, "Do you want tall,
grande, short, vente..." I'm gonna say, "you figure it out." Here's my two
bucks, give me as much coffee as that'll buy. And if they have to fill the
thing up three quarters of the way, or give me a cup and a half, that's
their problem.
So next time you walk into a Starbucks... just walk up to the
counter and say "give me a buck fifty's worth of decaf," and see what
they do. It's kind of like Alice's Restaurant. If we can get the whole
country doing this, I think we may get them to stop this ridiculousness.
So whadda ya say? Are you with me on this? Good. Now let's
go get some coffee!
Discussion Questions
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Does the author have a serious point? If so, what is
it?
What solid information does Magliozzi present that
gives the article creditability?
What is the tone of this article? Does the title signal
the tone? Explain.
Consider this silently to yourself…

Consider the issues raised in these readings about
the “state of language” that we speak, hear, and
write everyday. Do you think that we are living in a
time with less and less regard for precision in
language?
Food for thought…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57dzaMaouXA
#homework
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It will be your task to come up with an well-thought-out
response to the “state of language” question. This
response should be posted under the “Discussion” tab
on Turnitin.com.
After you post your initial response you must respond to
at least 3 of your classmates. All responses should
contain 2 or more lines of dialogue and should also
reflect thought and time.
Initial postings are due by 11:59PM (Saturday) and
peer responses by 11:59PM (Sunday)
The DB will close completely at 11:59PM (Sunday, Jan.
12th)