Transcript CATHOLIC TEACHING ON HUMAN SEXUALITY

SEXUALITY EDUCATION
PROGRAMS FOR PARENTS
The Doha International Conference
for the Family
THE ASIA PACIFIC FAMILY DIALOGUE
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
October 11-13, 2004
Mary Lee O’Connell, C.R.N.P.
www.ParentsAndKidsTalking.com
The key to delaying preteen
and teen sexual activity


Research confirms parents make
the greatest difference in their
children’s sexual decisions.
Sexuality education programs for
parents can be a key component in
the effort to encourage teens to
postpone sexual activity.
Parents: Missing an Opportunity?


Close to nine out of ten adults who want
to talk with their children about sex said
they don’t know what to say, how to say
it, or when to start
Less than half of teens strongly agreed
they are getting a clear message that
teen pregnancy is wrong.
National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
Children are more likely to delay
sexual activity if mothers…..



Take a firm, unequivocal line against
premarital sex
Have a good relationship with teen - If
satisfied with mother’s relationship, teen is
twice as likely to abstain than teens with a
low level of satisfaction
Avoid discussing birth control
1996 Family Planning Perspectives, 28(4), 159-165
Who delays sexual activity?



Teens in grades 7-12 who report:
High levels of parent-family
“connectedness”= 0.85 RR (95% CI)
Perceived parent disapproval of adolescent
sex = 0.79 RR (95% CI)
Perceived parent disapproval of adolescent
contraception= 0.75 RR (95% CI)
JAMA. 1997; 278:823-832
Values & Decisions about Sex


Parental/moral factors are more important
than friends, the media, teachers and sex
educators.
53% of teens (age 12-19) say parents or
their own morals, values and religious
beliefs influence decisions about sex.
National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. (2001, 2002).
With One Voice: American Adults and Teens Sound Off About
Teen Pregnancy. Washington, DC
Modify faith-based programs
for secular settings
“Students need to develop values as part of
their character, and character education
must help students to internalize what is
right and lend strong support to doing the
right thing.”
“Character-based sex education, in its true
definition, is our best hope for the children
in public schools.”
Weaving Character into Sex Education
www.projectreality.org books/pamphlets
Why 15-17 year olds don’t
ask parents?




Concern about parents’ reaction (83%)
Worry parents would think they are
having sex (78%)
Don’t know how to bring up the subject
(77%)
Believe parents would not understand
(64% )
Kaiser Family Foundation (2002)
What mother is saying and
what teens remember
Teen reports
Girl
Boy
…..81%.......76%
…..71%.......51%
…..67%.......36%
…..60%.......42%
Mother reports discussing
HIV/AIDS…………………………..92%
Reproduction……………………..73%
Pressure to have sex……….....71%
When to start having sex…….63%
Physical/sexual
development ….......……….51% …..51%.......25%
Family Planning Perspectives, 30(5),
218-222 & 235
Parent programs help
parents know “What to say”






What to say depends on what their kids
want to know
How to be an “askable” parent
Provide frequently asked questions
Role-play how to answer questions
Learn that other parents share concerns
“Homework” – handouts, a list of books
and websites
What are kids asking about?
Abstinence
Friends
Pornography
AIDS/STDs
God & Sex
Pregnancy
Asking Parents? Homosexuality
Premarital sex
Bad Touch
How to say no
Puberty
Birth
Intercourse
Relationships
Bullying
Love
Sex
Condoms
Masturbation
Sexual Pressure
Contraception
Modesty
Virginity
Dating
Oral sex
Helping parents know
“How to say it”




Dialogue is better than monologue
Interactive communication more effective
“Lecture” format makes children feel
unheard, intruded upon, disrespected
Teach how to use role-play, decision trees
and choreographed discussions
Ginsberg, K. (2001). “But I’m Almost 13!”: An Action Plan for
Raising a Responsible Adolescent. New York: Mc Graw Hill.
Helping parents know
“When to start”




Easier before puberty begins
Easier in the car: private & no eye contact
HIV sexual risk prevention more effective
in middle school than high school
Parents who attended a NYC program
encouraging parent-child communication
about HIV/AIDS were three times more
likely to talk with their child about AIDS
Developing Parent Programs:
Challenges & Solutions






Leadership Team not one/two people
Funding best with a line-item guarantee
Child care and light meal (ask for a
donation) increase attendance
Guidelines for what is age-appropriate
Know school’s sexuality education
guidelines, content and scheduling
Plan parent program before school program
Parent-Child Workshops
(Project Genesis Family Workshops)

Fertility appreciation (Puberty Education) shares

How to save sex for marriage (Sexuality Education)
God’s plan for the gift of sexuality, prepares child
for physical and psychological changes of puberty
and answers age-appropriate questions.
focuses on abstinence/chastity, falsehoods behind
media’s “safe sex” message, encourages parentchild communication and help teens develop virtues
and skills needed to make right decisions
Leaflet Missal Company, St. Paul, MN, USA
Activities from “How to Save Sex for
Marriage: A Family Workshop”


Communication - How well do you know
your parent? How well do you know your
teen? Family Values Interview; The
Readiness Questions; Setting Standards
Skills Building – The Trouble Rule (the
questions to ask if you’re not sure); Refusal
Skills Model; Effective Ways to Say “No”
Leaflet Missal Company, St. Paul, MN, USA
Family Honor (www.familyhonor.org)




Learning & Loving (for parents only)
Changes & Challenges (for parents with
their 6th grade son or daughter)
Real Love & Real Life (for parents with
their 7th or 8th grade son or daughter)
Created to Love: Honoring God’ Gift
(for parents with their high school teens)
CD-ROM-based teacher training program
If mom or dad is not there



Other-sex parent or grandparent welcome
Enlist family & friends’ help for a same-sex
mentor to attend and help answer child’s
more personal body related questions.
Grandparent providing care or parents
sharing custody? Get duplicate handouts
and books to have a consistent message
Conclusion
Faith communities and public schools
have a responsibility to step forward
and help parents prepare their children
for puberty and provide sexuality
education within the home.
www.ParentsAndKidsTalking.com