Transcript Parenting After Domestic Violence

Parenting After Domestic
Violence
Wisconsin Juvenile Court Intake Association Conference
September 24, 2008
Amy Venables O’Neil and Michele Wink
Task Force on Family Violence of Milwaukee, Inc.
Task Force on Family Violence
Agency Background
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Founded in 1975, the TFFV is a private, not-for-profit organization
that provides services for all adult victims of abuse, children who
have witnessed violence, children who have been physically and/or
sexually abused and perpetrators of violence.
The TFFV mission is to provide education, advocacy and resources
to keep people safe.
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The TFFV operates four basic programs designed to address the
needs of victims, abused children, families and batterers including
the Courthouse Advocacy Program, Legal Emergency Assistance
Program, Children’s Advocacy Program and Ending Violence through
Education.
In total, the agency serves over 6,000 clients per year through
these programs. Agency services are provided for free in English,
Spanish, and Russian.
Who We Serve
Of the victims served by the TFFV in 2006
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52% of victims were African-American
29% Caucasian
12% Hispanic
2% Native American
1% Asian
4% unknown
Clients are assisted free of charge and come from every
geographic area in Milwaukee County, with requests for
services concentrated in the inner city of Milwaukee.
Local Statistics-2006
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The typical victim was an 18-29 year old female battered by a
spouse or ex-spouse.
Both within Milwaukee County and outside of Milwaukee County,
there was an increase over the previous year in the percentage of
law enforcement responses to incidents that resulted in arrest.
The most common charge issued by prosecutors outside Milwaukee
County was disorderly conduct. In Milwaukee County, the most
common charge issued was battery.
There were forty domestic homicides reported in 19 Wisconsin
counties during 2006. Victims of these homicides were most often
females killed in their residence by a family member who used a
firearm or a knife.
One-fourth of all domestic homicide victims were children, the
majority of whom were killed by a parent or someone their parent
was dating.
Wisconsin prosecutors reported 25,531 domestic abuse incidents
referred to their offices by law enforcement during 2006.
Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is a pattern of assaultive
and coercive behaviors – including
physical, sexual, and psychological attacks
as well as economic coercion – that adults
or adolescents use against their intimate
partners
How DV Affects Parenting
Parenting by perpetrators:
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More often controlling and authoritarian, less consistent, and more
likely to manipulate children and undermine mothers’ parenting than
nonviolent fathers. Bancroft, L., and Silverman, J. (2002). The
Batterer as Parent.
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In one study, one-third of battered women experienced domestic
violence after separating from their spouses. Key variables that
predicted repeat assaults included threats from the perpetrator, the
perpetrator’s proximity to his victim, and his prior accusations of her
sexual infidelity.
The Batterer as Parent
Exposes children to abuse
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Trauma of witnessing violence
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Children learn to solve interpersonal problems through aggression
or passivity
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Isolating family from family, friends and helping professionals
Undermines and interferes with partner’s parenting
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Demeans and sabotages her parenting
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Blames his partner for family problems and for the abuse
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Diminishes her parenting abilities through the debilitating effects
of domestic violence: mental health, physical health, AODA
The Batterer as Parent
Undermines mother’s relationship with her children
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Forces the children to witness the abuse and
degradation of their mother
Less stressed by domestic violence and with more
control over the family’s financial resources, the batterer
can be the more appealing parent
Bargains for children’s loyalty—if they turn on mother,
they win his attention, affection and approval
Assessing Batterer as Parent
Judicial Officers and Court Personnel
Batterers are able to perform well under observation in supervised
visitation for custody evaluation. Collateral evidence important.
Adequately assessing batterer’s risk to children includes:
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Perpetrator’s history of physical and sexual abuse and neglect to his to
children
Level of continued danger to non-abusive parent
History of abuse to other parent and children
History of using children or exposing them to violent events
Level of coercive control that perpetrator exercised in past
Degree to which perpetrator feels entitled to access children
History of AODA and mental health issues
Willingness to accept decisions of victim and social institutions
Risk of child abduction
Bancroft and Silverman ( 2002)
Assessing Batterer as Parent
Child Protective Services
Colorado Collaboration Model
Assessment for potential lethality can be aided by considering if the
offender’s personality fits one of the following profiles:
• Obsessed Offender
• Sadistic Offender
• Hyper-Violent Offender
Substance abuse issues, access to weapons, mental health history,
strangulation
How DV Affects Victims
Parenting by victims
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Battered mothers appear to experience significantly greater levels of
stress than non-battered mothers do. However, this stress does not
always translate into diminished parenting.
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Battered mothers may be more likely than others to use some type
of aggression against their children but are less likely to do so when
they are safe.
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The research on battered mothers reveals that in the face of severe
stress they may compensate for violent events by offering increased
nurturing and protection to their children. Adult victims often make
decisions to stay with or leave their perpetrator based on their
sense of the best interest of their children.
Jeffrey Edleson et al, “Parenting in the Context of Domestic Violence”
How Domestic Violence Affects
Children
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Approximately 3 million children a year
are exposed to family violence
Fathers who batter mothers are twice as
likely to seek sole physical custody of their
children than are non-violent fathers
Approximately 40-60% of cases involving
abused spouses also have abused children
How Domestic Violence Affects Children
Behavioral/ Emotional Effects
 Cognitive/Attitudinal Effects
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What Teens Often Feel about
Violence in the Home
Responsible
Embarrassment
May try to intervene
May want to leave the home
Blame the victim
AODA issues
Early sexuality
Difficulty establishing healthy dating
relationships
 Stereotype males as abusers, females as victims
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Factors Influencing the Effects
of DV on a Child
– Nature/severity of violence
– Proximity to the violence
– Developmental stage
– Gender
– Temperament, maturity, intelligence,
interpersonal skills
– Social context (relationships with parents,
social connections, financial resources)
– Presence of other stressors (poverty,
substance abuse, mental illness)
Resiliency in Children Who Witness Violence
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Fostering resiliency and healing in children
– Strong, caring relationships with adults, especially
mom
– Relationships in the community (other siblings, family,
peers, community groups)
– Encourage child’s interests and abilities, praising
strengths
– Encourage participation in positive activities
– Opportunities to talk about events and express
feelings, good and bad
– Safety ( environment, immediate needs)
Impact of DV on Caregiver/Child
Relationship
– Child loses sense of their mothers as reliable
protectors
– Child loses ability to determine which adults
are safe people
– Loss of capacity to sustain representations of
caregiver as secure base
– Often intense and contradictory emotions
Parenting After Violence
Major Objectives:
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Rebuilding the parent and child bond
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Family safety (emotional and physical)
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Strengthening families
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Healing comes from talking about experiences
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Providing concrete tools for positive parenting
Parent Curriculum
12 weeks focusing on:
1. Effects of domestic violence on mothers and children
2. Parent–child communication- talking about the violence
3. Establishing order and routine in the home
4. Child development and behavioral expectations
5. Positive, non-abusive discipline
6. General skills of healthy, nurturing parenting
7. Enhancing children’s self-esteem
Challenges for Parents
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Talking about the abuse with children
Guilt
Past childhood victimization of parent
Where do I start? Children with many needs
Visitation with dad
Safety
Not seeing immediate changes in children
Ambivalence about adult relationship
Negotiating these Challenges: A
Case Study
What are the challenges to
enhancing the relationship between
Lucy and her children?
What strategies could be used to
address these challenges?
Helping Parents and Children
Case management
Referral to qualified family therapist
Advocacy with other systems
Group work
Understanding of multiple stressors and levels of
trauma
 Considerations
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Religion
Family preservation
Language barriers
Values, customs and traditions
Contact Information
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Amy Venables O’Neil, Director of
Education and Outreach: [email protected]
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Michele Wink, Director of Grants and
Evaluation: [email protected]
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Task Force on Family Violence, (414) 2761911