Transcript Training - Ambler's

Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of
Highly Effective People
Presented by:
Monica van der Weele
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MvdW
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Objectives

to share the lessons that one may learn from this book

to generate an acute awareness of the character ethic

to equip my friends with a concrete “road-map” for further selfexploration of the book’s principles on a day to day basis
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Outline

Introduction

Paradigms, Principles, Habits & Effectiveness

Private Victory
45 min.
BREAK

Public Victory

Renewal

Discussion /Feedback
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45 min.
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Introduction
The author’s motivations

a personal experience concerning his son

expectancy theory:
– how perceptions are formed
– how they govern the way we see
– & how the way we see governs the way we behave

in-depth study of success literature over the past 200 years
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Introduction
The Personality Ethic

dominant approach in the past 50 years

social image consciousness

two paths:
– human and public relations techniques
– positive metal attitude approach

inspiring & valid maxims

some clearly manipulative & even deceptive techniques
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Introduction
The Character Ethic

150 years pre World War I

idea that there are basic principles of effective living

enduring happiness and success by integrating these into our
basic characters

foundational and catalytic
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Introduction
Primary & Secondary Greatness

the Personality Ethic is of secondary importance

natural systems based on the law of harvest!

the “7 habits” are basic - they are primary - representing the
internalization of correct principles upon which enduring
happiness and success are based.
“what you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what
you say”
- Emerson
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Paradigms
The way we see

commonly used to mean: a model, theory, perception,
assumption - or frame of reference

a map - but the map is not the territory!

Awareness of our own paradigms:
our paradigms, whether correct or incorrect, are the source of
our attitudes and behaviors – and determine our relationships
with others
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Paradigms
Paradigm Shift

Thomas Kuhn: The Structure of Scientific Revolutions

instantaneous as well as gradual

the learning curve is determined by one’s basic character!

Being is Seeing. Seeing is Being.
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Principles
The Principle-Centered Paradigm

the Character Ethic is based on the fundamental idea that there
are principles that govern human effectiveness

principles are natural laws that cannot be broken

constitute the “objective territory” (not just the map)

not esoteric, not mysterious, not “religious”

self-evident and easily validated by any individual

Deep within our conscience and common sense
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Principles
Growth and Change

a process: “a thousand mile journey begins with the first step”

the Personality Ethic amounts to “borrowing strength”

Inside-Out: private victories before public victories!

the way we see the problem is the problem
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Habits
An Overview

Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits

deeply rooted, often unconscious

consistent and cohesive

express our character
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not and act,
but a habit.”
- Aristotle
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Habits
Definition

the intersection of:
what to do
and why
how
to do

takes all 3 for a habit!

iterative spiral: seeing & being
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want
to do
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The 7 Habits
The Maturity Continuum
Interdependence
7. Sharpen the saw
5. Seek first to
understand...
Public
Victory
WE
6. Synergize
4. Think Win-Win
Independence
2. Begin with the
end in mind
Private
Victory
I
3. Put first
things first
1. Be Proactive
Dependence
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YOU
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The 7 Habits
Effectiveness
for all assets: physical, financial and human
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Habit 1-BE PROACTIVE
Overview

self-awareness
– a unique human capability
– the reason why we can break our habits

3 social/deterministic maps:
– genetic determination
– psychic determination
– environmental determination
Stimulus
Response
Private
Victory
1. Be Proactive
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Habit 1-BE PROACTIVE
Between Stimulus and Response
Stimulus
SelfAwareness
Freedom
to
Choose
Response
Independent
Will
ImaginationConscience
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Habit 1-BE PROACTIVE
“Proactivity” Defined

response-ability

= the ability to subordinate a an impulse to a value

3 central values identified by Victor Frankl:
The ATTITUDINAL
The CREATIVE
The EXPERIENTIAL
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Habit 1-BE PROACTIVE
Circle of Concern /Circle of Influence
Maintaining a proactive focus:
Circle
of
Influence
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Circle
of
Influence
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Habit 1-BE PROACTIVE
Direct, Indirect and No Control
The problems we face are threefold:
Indirect
Control
Possible
involving
other
people’s
behavior
Direct
Control
Possible
solved by
working on
our habits
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involving
our
behavior
= Private
Victories
(habits 1,2,3)
solved by
changing our
methods of
influence
= Public
Victories
(habits 4,5,6
No
Control
Possible
our past
& situational
realities
solved by
changing the
way we see...
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Habit 1-BE PROACTIVE
At the Heart of the Circle of Influence
Our ability to
make
and keep
commitments
& promises
Circle
of
Influence
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Habit 2 - BEGIN WITH THE END IN
MIND Overview

the most fundamental application: visualization of your death &
the graveside perspectives from family, friends, work colleagues
and the community

underlying principle: all things are created twice - mental (1st
creation) and physical (2nd creation)

default verses design

personal leadership verses Management (what and how)

imagination and conscience
2. Begin with the
end in mind
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Private
Victory
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Habit 2 - BEGIN WITH THE END IN
MIND Highest Leverage PC Work
whatever is at the center of our lives will be the source of our:
- YOUR SENSE OF BALANCE
- UNDERSTANDING THE WHOLE
- SENSE OF WORTH
- IDENTITY
- EMOTIONAL ANCHORAGE
- SOURCE OF DIRECTION IN LIFE
- INTERNAL FRAME OF REFERENCE
- STANDARDS AND PRINCIPLES
- FACULTY TO ACT
- STRENGTH & POTENCY TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING
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Habit 2 - BEGIN WITH THE END IN
MIND Alternative Centers

spouse centeredness

family centeredness

money centeredness

work centeredness

possessions centeredness

pleasure centeredness

friend/enemy centeredness

church centeredness

self centeredness
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Habit 2 - BEGIN WITH THE END IN
MIND A Principle Center (1)

Security
– principles do not change (only our understanding of them does)
– principles do not react to anything
– principles are larger than circumstances

Wisdom and Guidance
– principles supply the correct maps

Personal Power
– unrestricted by the attitudes, behaviors and actions of others
Only limitation: the natural consequences of the principles
themselves - a universal law.
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Habit 2 - BEGIN WITH THE END IN
MIND A Principle Center (2)
The principle center puts all other centers into perspective
spouse
family
friend/enemy
money
PRINCIPLES
work
church
self
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possessions
pleasure
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Habit 2 - BEGIN WITH THE END IN
MIND Using a Mission Statement

through conscience (of our own uniqueness) we detect our
missions in life by working within our circle of influence

it will take time and should be reviewed regularly

the process is as important as the product

use your whole brain:
– using imagination to visualize and affirm (right brain activity)
– capturing these images and plotting them (left: roles and goals)
AFFIRMATIONS
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- personal
- positive
- present tense
- emotional
- visualized
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Overview

The practical fulfillment of habits 1 and 2 (i.e.the 2nd creation)

exercising independent will to become principle centered
through day-to-day effective self-management

“Manage form the LEFT” (versus lead from the RIGHT)

a measure of the value we place on ourselves!

ensuring that your habits are a function of your values - not the
mood and/or circumstances of the moment

management amounts to discipline in the area of life and time
management
Private
Victory
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3. Put first
things first
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Four Generations of Time Management
Notes and
Checklists
1. recognition
of demands
+ Calendars
+ Calendars &
and
Appointment
Appointment
Books
Books
+ prioritization
2. attempt to
look ahead
3. Setting of
goals and
short / long
term planning
current
efficiency
focused
approach
(things & time)
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Satisfaction
is a function of
expectations
& time!
Emerging
effectiveness
approach
(relationships &
results)
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Quadrant II Activities
important
not important
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I.
II.
crises
pressing problems
deadline driven projects
prevention, PC activities
relationship building
recognizing opportunities
planning, recreation
III.
IV.
interruptions (some calls)
some mails & reports
some meetings
popular activities
Trivia, busy work
some mail
some phone calls
time wasters
urgent
not urgent
require more
initiative &
proactivity!
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Quadrant I Results
important
I.
•
•
•
•
•
•
stress
burnout
crisis management
always putting out fires
problem minded people
deadline driven producers
you are
overcome by
“waves” of
activity!
urgent
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Quadrant III Results
not
important
III.
•
•
•
•
•
•
Short term focus
crises management
chameleon character reputation
feel victimized and out of control
inability to set goals and make plans
shallow or broken relationships
you are workin terms of
other people’s
expectations
and priorities!
urgent
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Into the Danger Zone
not
important
III. & IV.
• total irresponsibility!
• Fired from jobs
• depend on others for basics
effective people
stay out of here!
urgent or not,
they aren’t
important!
Urgent / not urgent
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Quadrant II Results
important
The
I.
II.
of effective
personal
management!
•
•
•
•
•
Feeding
opportunities
& starving
problems!
vision, perspective
balance
discipline
control
few crises
P/PC balance!
Not urgent
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Learn to Say NO

NB: you are always saying NO to something!

Quadrants III and IV must make way for Quadrant II

a center of correct principles and a focus on our personal
mission empowers us with the wisdom to take these yes/no
decisions effectively
NO.
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Moving to Quadrant II
A Quadrant II Organizer Tool will meet the following six criteria:
COHERENCE
PORTABILITY
FLEXIBILITY
BALANCE
QUADRANT II FOCUS
PEOPLE DIMENSION
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Becoming a QII Self-Manager
Long-Term Organizing:
Mission
Statement
Roles
Goals
WEEKLY Organizing:
Weekly
Roles
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Weekly
Goals
Schedule
Plans
Delegate
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Delegation: Increasing P & PC

we delegate to TIME (efficiency) or PEOPLE (effectiveness)

temptation to delegate to time

delegating to people empowers both parties
input
output
Producer:
Manager:
output
input
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Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Delegation: Gofer verses Stewardship

stewardship focuses on RESULTS rather than METHODS

5 aspects must be mutually understood:
DESIRED RESULTS
CONSEQUENCES
ACCOUNTABILITY
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GUIDELINES
RESOURCES
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Public Victory
Introduction

self-mastery precedes good relationships

the emotional bank account paradigm - 6 major deposits:
– understand the individual
– attend to little things
– keep commitments
– clarify expectations
– show personal integrity
– apologize sincerely
5. Seek first to
understand...
Public
Victory
6. Synergize
4. Think Win-Win
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Habit 4 - THINK WIN/WIN
Overview

not a technique - but a total philosophy of human interaction

one of six paradigms of interaction:
– win / win (a better way)
– win / lose (authoritarian approach)
– lose / win (loser / peacemaker at all costs)
It depends...
– lose / lose (enemy centeredness)
– win (other parties irrelevant)
– win / win or no deal
Public
Victory
4. Think Win-Win
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Habit 4 - THINK WIN/WIN
5 Dimensions
(1)
win/win
character
(2)
win/win
relationships
(3)
win/win
agreements
Supporting systems (4) and processes (5)
Integrity
Maturity
Abundance Mentality
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consideration ->
the emotional bank account
Performance & Partnership
(focus on results not methods)
l/w
w/w
l/l
w/l
courage ---------->
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Habit 5: Seek first to understand…
Overview

within your circle influence

four basic forms of communication: speak, read, write and listen

character and communication

a profound paradigm shift:
ignoring
pretending
selective
listening

emotional bank account deposits

understanding of the center

when you listen, you learn
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attentive
listening
5. Seek first to
understand...
empathic
listening
Public
Victory
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Habit 5: Seek first to understand…
4 Autobiographical Responses
1. we evaluate
by either agreeing
or disagreeing
Generally:
3. we interpret
based on our own
motives and behavior
communication
is logical/open
asking questions
and give counsel
communication
is emotional
reverting to
empathic listening
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2. we probe
from our own
frame of reference
4. we advise
based on our
own experiences
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Habit 5: Seek first to understand…
AND then to be understood
part of win/win!!
ethos
1.
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pathos
2.
logos
3.
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Habit 6: SYNERGIZE
Overview

the whole is greater then the sum of the parts

the relationship between the parts is significant
WE LIVE IN AN INTERDEPENDENT REALITY
Public
Victory
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6. Synergize
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Habit 6: SYNERGIZE
Definition
when faced with our greatest challenges…
with:
4 unique human
endowments
self-awareness
imagination
conscience
independent will
the true
motive of
WIN / WIN
skill of
empathic
listening
we create NEW ALTERNATIVES - something that wasn’t there
before!
the creativity can be terrifying as the outcome is unsure...
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Habit 6: SYNERGIZE
Levels of Communication
high
Synergistic (win//win)
TRUST
Respectful (compromise)
Defensive (win/lose or lose/win)
low
low
high
COOPERATION
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compromise
Habit 6: SYNERGIZE
The Middle Way
a higher way!
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Habit 6: SYNERGIZE
Intrapersonal and interpersonal Synergy
The essence of synergy
is to value the differences!
• to move beyond our own
• perceptual limitations
• to increase our own awareness
• to affirm others
L
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R
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Habit 6: SYNERGIZE
The Growth & Change Force Field
restraining forces
4 5 6
of performance
current level
driving forces
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Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Overview
PC !
7. Sharpen the saw
PERSONAL
Sometimes when I consider
what tremendous consequences
come from little things…
I am tempted to think…
there are no
little things.
Bruce
Barton
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Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
4 Dimensions of Renewal
PHYSICAL
Exercise, Nutrition,
Stress Management
SOCIAL /
EMOTIONAL
MENTAL
Reading, Visualizing,
Planning, Writing
Service, Empathy,
Synergy, Intrinsic Security
SPIRITUAL
Value Clarification &
Commitment, Study &
Meditation
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Conclusion
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