Transcript DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY - Luzerne County Community College

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DESCRIPTION
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TRAITS
Key Elements of a Descriptive Essay:
o sense details (more than just sight)
o arranged spatially
o to support a Dominant Impression
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ASSIGNMENT
o To describe a familiar object utilizing
only SENSE DETAILS:
-sight
-sound
-smell
-taste
-touch
o To describe only the physical characteristics;
o To appeal to the senses; to use concrete
details
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TOPICS
1) Your dorm room or bedroom (the room in
your home where you spend the most
time);
2) Your automobile;
3) The master bedroom in Edgar Allan Poe’s
“The Tell-Tale Heart”
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PREWRITING
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PREWRITING
1) 5 SENSES
o make 5 lists (one for each sense)
o sight, smell, sound, taste, touch
o under each, list as many relevant details
regarding your topic as possible
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PREWRITING
2) IMPRESSIONS
o from the previous lists, make connections
between items on the previous lists
o group according to likeness
o that is, certain sense details are related by
the impression that they create
o “eerie”
o “messy”
o “feminine”
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PREWRITING
3) DOMINANT IMPRESSION
o the longest list of impressions from the
previous lists will be your dominant
impression,

the most striking impression concerning your
object
o to this list add
o adjectives
o adverbs
o similes/metaphors
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PREWRITING
4) SYNONYMS
o Make a list of synonyms for your Dominant
Impression
o Consult a thesaurus
o “Tidy”:
o neat
o orderly
o organized
o uncluttered
o anal-retentive/obsessive-compulsive
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INTRODUCTION
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INTRODUCTION
FUNNEL EFFECT
Generalize 1st
1.
o
o
Narrow your focus
2.
o
o
Some
Others
Focus on you
3.
o
4.
Introduce your topic
Most people, Most college students
Me
End with Thesis Statement
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GENERALIZE 1st
-Introduce your topic
-Most college students
NARROW your FOCUS
-Some
-Others
FOCUS on YOU
-Me
THESI
S
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INTRODUCTION
FUNNEL EFFECT: EXAMPLES
1) Owning a car these days is a necessity,
especially for students at a community
college. Looking around the parking lot at
Luzerne County Community College, I
usually see three types of cars: the new,
high-end graduation-gift cars, the modified
sports cars, and the run-down first cars.
Unfortunately, my car is one of the latter....
(thesis with clear Dominant Impression: My
gray 1986 Oldsmobile Omega is a Bondo
Buggy, especially in terms of its exterior,
interior, and trunk.)
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INTRODUCTION
FUNNEL EFFECT: EXAMPLES
2) Most people have a place to go to feel
refreshed when life gets too tough. (OR)
Most people have a place they visit to get
away from everyday life. It could be a car, a
place in nature, or a room at home. For me it
is my bedroom. (then comes the thesis with
clearly stated Dominant Impression)
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Thesis Statement
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INTRODUCTION
THESIS STATEMENT
o Comes at the end of the first paragraph
(“Funnel Effect”)
TOPIC + MAIN IDEA + SUPPORT
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INTRODUCTION
THESIS STATEMENT
o Example for Descriptive Essay:
o My car is a junker in terms of its….
o Three aspects of my car that make it a junker
are the front seat, the back seat, and the
trunk.
o Contains the Dominant Impression and the 3
aspects/parts of your object that support it.
TOPIC:
MY CAR
D.I.:
JUNKER
SUPPORT: (1) FRONT SEAT
(2) BACK SEAT
(3) TRUNK
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Dominant Impression
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INTRODUCTION
DOMINANT IMPRESSION
*CHARACTERISTICS of a Dominant
Impression:
o *ADJECTIVE or NOUN*
o Declared in thesis statement
o Unifying or controlling aspect; ambiance;
this will link all of your sense details.
o Without this, your details are like marbles
without a jar.
o The first adjective that comes to mind when
you think of your car.
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DOMINANT
IMPRESSION
SENSE DETAIL
SENSE DETAIL
SENSE DETAIL
ALL SENSE DETAILS RELATE TO & SUPPORT DOMINANT IMPRESSION
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INTRODUCTION
DOMINANT IMPRESSION
*HOW TO CREATE a Dominant Impression:
o Write the 5 senses on a blank sheet of paper
o
o
o
o
with room beneath each to write;
Then, list as many details that appeal to a
particular sense under its name;
Go from the front of the car to the back &
from the outside to the inside;
Then, see which details are related to each
other, that paint a similar picture of the
object, and group them together;
What these details relate to will be your
Dominant Impression.
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INTRODUCTION
DOMINANT IMPRESSION: EXAMPLES
ROOM:
o oasis of peace,
o tranquil refuge,
o feminine/masculine,
o reflects personality (*you must briefly define
your personality; use the appropriate
adjective before the word “personality”:
creative personality, artistic temperament),
o reflects my musical tastes,
o disaster area,
o pig sty
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INTRODUCTION
DOMINANT IMPRESSION: EXAMPLES
CAR:
o total embarrassment, Bondo Buggy,
o off-road monster,
o Junk Mobile,
o typical college student’s (in terms of mess,
neglect, ...),
o typical first car (in terms of price,
efficiency...),
o “The Black Beauty,” “The Polar Bear”
o giant toy, sporty car, Daddy’s car,
o accessorized car (“Pimp My Ride”) (tricked
out)
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BODY
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BODY
3 Body paragraphs
(3 paragraphs = 3 parts of your object)
o TOPIC SENTENCE –
o starts each paragraph
o reiterates your thesis, Dominant Impression
o DESCRIPTION –
o sense details, figurative language
o that supports only your Dominant Impression
o CLINCHER SENTENCE –
o ends, wraps up the paragraph
o reiterates your Dominant Impression
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BODY: DO’s
Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay
1)*** DESCRIBE—DO NOT LIST!!
o Describe items found in your car/room;
o Lists do not describe; lists are more
exemplary than descriptive;
o
o
o
This is a descriptive essay using sense
details, not an illustrative essay using
reasons;
Show rather than tell
Make us see, smell, taste, feel, hear it as
you want us to…to fit your Dominant
Impression
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BODY: DO’s
Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay
2) SENSE DETAILS only:
o Appeal to the 5 senses, not just sight
o Appeal to as many of the 5 that are relevant
o Consult your prewriting lists
 Relying solely on sight  leads to LISTS
o Number, size, shape, texture, material,
odor/scent, taste, sound
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BODY: DO’s
Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay
3) SIMILES & METAPHORS:
o use similes & metaphors to reinforce your D.I.
o EX: “The smell is like…” OR “The smell
reminds me of wet, moldy leaves soaking in a
crammed rain gutter for a month. (not a pleasing
D.I.)
o rust = cancer, leprosy, flesh-eating bacteria;
o “angry red beast:” headlights = giant glaring
eyes, grill=hungry chrome jaws, bumper=chin
with battle scars (continue the metaphor
throughout, only those details that support
“beastly”)
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BODY: DO’s
Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay
4) Relate all SENSE DETAILS to your
DOMINANT IMPRESSION:
o all details should reinforce your D.I.
o if it does not, omit the detail
o all sense details and metaphors should
support a single impression
o this is NOT a “word picture” in which you
describe every aspect of your car
o instead, focus your description on your D.I.
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BODY
Relate all SENSE DETAILS to your DOMINANT IMPRESSION
o Repeat THESIS:
o “Another aspect of my room that makes it a
pig sty is….”
o at the start of each paragraph
o ADJECTIVES and ADVERBS that are
synonymous with your Dominant Impression
o ADJ: busy = hectic, energetic, bustling,
crowded, swarming, packed, jammed,
overrun, popular, populous, active, lively
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BODY: DO’s
Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay
5) Use TRANSITIONS:
o between sentences (logically or spatially connect
details in each sentence) AND
o between paragraphs (repeat thesis)
6) Use proper PN REFERENCE:
o
o
o
o
*especially when generalizing in Introduction
Everyone has a place he/she could call his/her own.
see how the use of “he/she” gets old fast
so go plural: Most people have a place they could call
their own.
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BODY: DO’s
Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay
7) DICTION:—use creative, selective, and
pointed details & words (employ
concrete/specific word choice)
8) Include an INTRODUCTION (see above) and
a CONCLUSION (see below or consult the
textbook)
9) Have a CLEAR VISION of the object (best to
visit the place you will describe)
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BODY: DO’s
Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay
10) Have a CAREFUL SELECTION of DETAILS
o only those that support your DI
11) Maintain a consistent point-of-view (POV)
o no second person POV “you”
o your room, your car, your impression, your
details  your POV (speak from the “I”)
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BODY: DO’s
Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay
12) COHERENCE:
o develop a logical flow of ideas/details
o “camera angle” -- spatial organization
13) Paragraph Structure:
o 3 Body paragraphs = 3 parts of car/room
o do NOT arrange the essay around the senses (each
paragraph is not one of the senses)
14) *REMEMBER:
o this is NOT a “why” or “because” essay which is
supported with reasons
o instead, use aspect, feature, characteristic, portion
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BODY
TAKE THE HINT
o SENSE DETAILS ONLY
o ONLY THOSE SENSE DETAILS THAT
SUPPORT YOUR DOMINANT IMPRESSION
o IF ANY DETAIL DOES NOT SUPPORT YOUR
DOMINANT IMPRESSION—NO MATTER HOW
“COOL” OR INTERESTING IT MAY BE—OMIT
IT FROM THIS ESSAY
SENSE
DETAIL
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SENSE
DETAIL
SENSE
DETAIL
SENSE
DETAIL
SENSE
DETAIL
DOMINANT
IMPRESSION
SENSE
DETAIL
LISTS
SENSE
DETAIL
SENSE
DETAIL
SENSE
DETAIL
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BODY: DON’Ts
1) ***DO NOT LIST items found in your car/room;
this does not describe; lists are more exemplary
than descriptive (this is a descriptive essay
using sense details, not an illustrative essay
using reasons) (show rather than tell)
2) Do NOT just throw ideas onto the page; make
sure you have a Dominant Impression -- a clear
purpose, a point; be a movie director and limit
what you want the audience to see, to see it/them
from your perspective
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BODY: DON’Ts
3) Do NOT describe emotions, feelings,
personality (these are not sense details)
4) Do NOT use pat expressions/clichés (rough
around the edges), contractions (I’ve, it’s),
poor diction (“things,” “a lot”), or
abbreviations (especially CD=compact disc)
5) *NUMBERS: 3+ syllables/numerals = 350, 1
or 2 syllables/numerals = six, twenty-five;
year = 1998, 2005)
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CONCLUSION
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CONCLUSION
PURPOSE of CONCLUDING PARAGRAPHS
o To stress the importance/relevance of your
o
o
o
o
o
thesis (SO WHAT?!)
To repeat your purpose
To repeat your thesis (moral, point, lesson,
Dominant Impression)
To repeat your main ideas
To give the essay a sense of
completeness/finality
To leave the reader with a final impression
(*this is your last chance to
convince/persuade the reader, so make the
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CONCLUSION
SUGGESTIONS
o Discuss in full the lesson learned
o Suggest larger implications of your findings
o Suggest future papers or research
o Refer back to your purpose and/or scenario
mentioned in your Introduction
o Pose rhetorical questions
o Offer a 3rd side to the issue
o End with a CLINCHER SENTENCE
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CONCLUSION
CLINCHER SENTENCE
o Just as you ended each Body paragraph
o
o
o
o
with a concluding sentence that wrapped up
that point/paragraph, so too will you end the
entire essay
(Thesis Statement : Topic Sentence ::
Clincher Sentence : Paragraph Clincher
Sentence)
Avoid the empty cliché
Wrap it all up
Relate to your point (for example, if you
wrote a process paper on making a PB&J
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VISUAL IMPRESSIONS
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BEDROOM #1
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BEDROOM #2
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BEDROOM #3
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CAR #1
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CAR #2
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CAR #3
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CAR #4
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Descriptive Essay
VS
Example Essay
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Descriptive Essay VS Example Essay
o
SENSE DETAILS
o
REASONS
o
Dominant Impression
o
Argument/Claim
o BODY STRUCTURE:
o BODY STRUCTURE:
o 3 Body paragraphs
o 3 Body paragraphs
o 3 parts of the room/car
o 3 reasons
o Each supported by:
o Each supported by:
o sense details ONLY
o examples
o metaphors to support DI
o descriptive details
o narratives
o types/roles
o
o
o
LISTS = prohibited
SHOW
SPATIAL ORDER
o
o
o
LISTS = permissible
TELL
EMPHATIC ORDER