Transcript Writing Style Advice - Dr. Art Fricke's tech comm teaching

Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
Incident Report ADVICE
Or, how to tell people bad news without making
them freak out
This presentation will describe:
 Project grading (the answer key!)
 Some reminders about report BASICS
 Some TIPS for applying these basics to the trucking report
 Some TRICKS that I will incorporate into my example
There are lots of ways to write a good report.
However, the audience and goal of this specific
writing challenge put some constraints on what you
should think about doing.
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
Incident Report grading
USE and PRACTICE what we talk about in class
 Edit effectively for style (clear plain language statements), use
correct grammar (correct tenses, correct comma punctuation, etc)
and NO typos (including no formatting typos)
 Follow all general guidelines for report writing (clearly stated
goals, clear intro, clear conclusion, clear statement of purpose, etc)
 Follow all literal directions (make a MEMO, include ALL info,
do not change facts, etc)
 Do some BASIC audience analysis (format for easy skimming,
answer Spangler’s OBVIOUS questions, etc)
 For an “A”, do all this PLUS some advanced audience analysis
EFFECTIVELY control Spangler’s feelings about the incidents,
answer some NON-obvious but HELPFUL questions,
SUCCESSFULLY convince Spangler that you are super great
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
remember this slide?
Introduction (from “what is a report”)
States the subject and purpose
Tells the audience WHY THEY SHOULD READ
Summarizes conclusions and any recommendations
Concise introductions are useful because they
provide essential information at a glance.
Useful introductions CLEARLY state the main point of
the report. The communicate the report goals.
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
An incident report intro should:
State any bad news right up front (don’t try to hide bad things)
Answer ALL KEY questions right up front
Some brainstorming ideas for what Spangler might want to know:
 Was anyone hurt? Who and how badly?
 Will this cost us money? How much and for what? What is the bottom line cost?
 Will this lose us customers? Who and how bad?
 Did this get us bad PR? How and how bad?
 Will we get sued? Are we liable for anything? For what and when?
 Will this cost us (or save us) money in the future? When and how much?
 WHY did this happen? WHO is responsible? Will it happen again? WHY?
Answer KEY questions right in the intro, then give additional
detailed info later in the body of the report.
Also GIVE POSITIVE INFORMATION right up front in the intro!
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
remember this slide?
Body (from “what is a report”)
Presents an organized account of the report’s subject
Should have a USEFUL amount of detail
“Useful” detail depends on the objective, the
complexity of the subject, and how much the
reader knows about the subject.
All details should be relevant to conclusion
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
An incident report body should:
Give details relevant to all the big key questions you very quickly
answered in the Introduction
 Convince Spangler you know what’s going on
 Convince Spangler things are under control
 Make certain every detail has a CLEAR PURPOSE
Be organized around big key questions the audience wants
answered
 Group information in a way that Spangler can understand
Be formatted to scan for specific details really easily and quickly
 Remember who Spangler is (very busy, hates missing details, etc)
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
remember this slide?
Conclusion (from “what is a report”)
Summarizes main points
Tells readers what is significant about the
main points
Readers generally want to know how
something will affect them.
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
An incident report conclusion should:
REITERATE all the big key questions you very quickly answered
in the Introduction
 Remind Spangler of what the big issues are
 SHOW Spangler you’ve given answers for all these big issues
 Remind Spangler of what the goal of the report is
 REITERATE AND EMPHASIZE ANY POSITIVE NEWS
PROVE that things are under control
 Is this going to happen again? HOW can you know for sure?
HIGHLIGHT any positive outcomes
 Was this whole thing a blessing in disguise? If so, WHY?
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
remember this slide?
Recommendations (from “what is a report”)
Not always included in informal reports
Sometimes combined with conclusions section
Generally describes a course of action you believe
is necessary
This is very often a list of things that you need
the audience to do.
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
Incident report recommendations might:
CLEARLY describe a plan to avoid incidents in the future
 Has the problem been fixed? If so, HOW? If not, WHY not?
PROVE that things are under control
 Is this going to happen again? HOW can you know for sure?
GET AUTHORIZATION to take action
 Will fixes cost money? Labor? Opportunity cost? If so, how much?
 Will fixes change operating procedures? If so, what are pros and cons?
MAKE REALLY CLEAR what the audience needs to do
 Authorize changes? Cut a check? Talk to reporters? Call an employee?
 Maybe just a FYI report? If so, WHY should Spangler have this info?
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
What to write about
in YOUR report?
Do a “Do / Know / FEEL” brainstorm to answer this!
 Spangler is probably concerned about his employees
 He is probably concerned about the company’s image
 He is probably concerned about profits and losses
 He probably doesn’t want to lose customers
 He probably doesn’t want to get sued
 He probably wants to know why bad things happened and who is
responsible
 He probably wants to know how you will PREVENT this from
happening again
Focus your report on making Spangler feel secure about
the issues that concern him the most!
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
What wording to use?
Remember who Spangler is:
 obviously very busy, not an academic, probably likes a
lot of detail but also needs to skim quickly, etc
Very CLEAR, STRAIGHTFORWARD, and PLAIN
LANGUAGE wording fits this audience
Therefore, use CLEAR AND SIMPLE PLAIN
LANGUAGE statements !
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
What formatting to use?
Remember what Spangler wants to do with the report:
 Scan quickly for specific details
 Spot answers to key questions
 See clearly what had been or needs to be done
 File for future use (lawsuits, etc)
Remember that the incident report genre is very flexible:
Think about using tables, highlighting, bullet or numbered lists, etc
[if MS Word formatting give you problems, then just SKETCH!]
Use COMMON SENSE here. This is a report writing class, so
don’t do a bunch of research or spend hours and hours fiddling
with MS Word formatting.
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
A trick I’ll use for my report:
REDUNDANT wording !
 The report will describe several very similar incidents
 Give info in the exact same order using the EXACT same wording
 This will make it VERY easy for Spangler to scan for specific facts
 This will make it VERY easy to spot any missing details
 This will make it VERY easy to spot connections between incidents
Using REDUNDANCY EVERYWHERE is a good idea for
incident reports.
This might seem weirdly repetitive, but that’s the point. It is
a VERY practical and VERY useful strategy that makes
writing and reading the report easier and faster.
Copyright 2012 by Arthur Fricke
Redundant wording example:
Accident #1 happened on the fourth floor at 8:02 am. A student named Stevie Nicks slipped on a
banana peel in the middle of the hallway. Ms. Nicks fell to the floor and was knocked unconscious.
Some unidentified students called 911. An ambulance arrived in five minutes. Ms. Nicks regained
consciousness before EMS paramedics got to the scene. The paramedics evaluated Ms. Nicks for a
concussion. The paramedics couldn’t tell if Ms. Nicks was concussed. The ambulance took Ms. Nicks
to the hospital. The hospital released Ms. Nicks after a few hours. Ms. Nicks did not have a concussion.
Accident #2 happened in the lobby sometime between 5:10 and 5:30 pm. An unidentified man slipped
on spilled yogurt at the bottom of the stairs. The man appeared to twist an ankle. The incident was
reported to the main office by Tom Jones and Nick Cage (two students who saw the incident). No one
called 911. The unidentified man got up and limped off before anyone could offer help. The man was
not evaluated. No one knows what the unidentified man’s injuries might have been.
Accident #3 happened on the second floor at 7:03 pm. A student named Joe Bobb slipped on spilled
soda in a classroom doorway.. Mr. Bobb hit the floor and hurt his left wrist. Dr. Jan Vincent (Mr. Bobb’s
instructor) called 911. An ambulance arrived in fifteen minutes. Mr. Bobb sat on the floor in lots of pain
until EMS paramedics got to the scene. The paramedics evaluated Mr. Bobb for a broken wrist. Mr.
Bobb’s wrist was definitely broken. The ambulance took Mr. Bobb to the hospital. Mr. Bobb is still in the
hospital. Mr. Bobb’s broken wrist will need surgery.