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Writing for the Web
Dugoni School
of Dentistry
University of
the Pacific
Lynn Donham
Zehno Cross Media Communications
A paradigm shift
Freeze-dried! A dramatically different
style of writing
Blend of classically strong writing and
new format
– “Omit unnecessary words!” — Strunk
& White
– Use active voice
– Usually half the length of
standard writing
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The alternative
Students, faculty and staff avoid using the web,
preferring the phone or individual emails
Outsiders find the home page confusing and give up
before they find what they need
Faculty and staff continue to be bogged down with
routine transactions
Limits relationships and impact the College could
have
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How users read*
*They don’t
Web users scan
– 79% of those tested always scanned any new
page
– 16% read word-for-word
“F” pattern found in eye-tracking usability studies
Jakob Neilsen, Neilsen Nelson Group, 1997, 1999
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Implications of the F Pattern
Users won’t read your text thoroughly
The first two paragraphs must state the most
important information
Start subheads, paragraphs and bullet points
with words that carry the meaning
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Scannable text
Text that communicates to scanners uses
Highlighted keywords
Meaningful headings and subheadings
Bulleted lists
One idea per paragraph (users skip over any more if
they aren’t caught by the first few words)
Half the usual word count
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Measuring effectiveness
Researchers measured usability by the success
rate of users in accomplishing the same task.
5 versions of basically the same web pages
Three improvements boosted usability 124%
– Scannable text
– Concise writing (omit needless words; distill)
– Objective language; no puffery, exaggerations
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Eyetrack07
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Eyetrack07
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Eyetrack07
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Eyetrack07
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Eyetrack07
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Organizing Content
Making the jump to a non-linear model
Inverted Pyramid Style
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Inverted pyramid style
The conclusion or ending comes first
– College welcomes largest class ever.
Most important supporting information comes next
– Record SAT scores
– Large increase in traditional age students
– New faculty hired
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Then add the background
Increase is pay-off from new Web site
Business is most popular major
Additional parking added
Additional computer lab opened
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Chunking
Segment writing into smaller, coherent units to
avoid long, scrolling pages. Each page is an
inverted pyramid connected to the larger subject.
Try to keep most important information above the
“fold” — the limit of the initial screen view without
scrolling
Take care not to over-divide your information. For
critical information, such as Admissions
Requirements, users will print out and read.
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Redundancy
Expect related Web pages to have some overlap
The highest priority is to make things clear to your
reader
Try to provide a complete account of the subject
with an appropriate amount of background or detail.
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Links
A bonus for online writing—invite further pursuit of
topic or provide additional aspects
George Landow, professor of English and art history
at Brown, named both ends of the link
– Rhetoric of departure
– Rhetoric of arrival
Highlights the need for both ends of the link to give
users understanding of where they may go and why
the arrival page is relevant
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Pitfalls to avoid
Visual distraction: colored and underlined text within
a paragraph pulls the eye and disrupts the unit. Most
readers will click on link without ever finishing the
paragraph.
Disrupting the narrative: Links lead to stories half-told.
Users may follow the link, and subsequent ones, and
never return to your site.
Highlights the need for both ends of the link to tell
users where they may go and why the arrival page
is relevant
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Writing to levels of interest:
None
Helps people with no interest avoid your page
Reduces traffic and load on your server
Helps guide people to desired pages
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Writing to levels of interest:
None
Write clear and informative titles to make links
clearer
Promote your site and links only in relevant locations
Give accurate descriptions and keywords for search
engines
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Writing to levels of interest:
Title only
The page title is the first piece of information you
give your reader
Title is the single piece to invite (link) the reader to
the page
Clear, meaningful titles improve this first filter of
users to your page
Titles should contain the basic idea of the page –
like CNN Headline News for Web readers.
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Writing to levels of interest:
One-sentence summary
The purpose of the one-sentence summary is for
links to your page. It’s the final defense against
readers with no interest.
Many hubs and directories publish a one-sentence
description with each link. It may as well be yours.
Hubs and directories will often pick up the sentence
you provide.
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Writing to levels of interest:
One-sentence summary
Helps readers know quickly if they’ve come to the
right spot
Helps readers determine their interest in your page.
Consider this the “small interest level” filter.
Gives readers a heads-up into the major point of
the page
Make it the first sentence on the page
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Writing to levels of interest:
One-paragraph summary
Will be used by high-quality hubs
Gives you a few seconds to influence the reader
Provides insight into your material
Bookmark choices
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Microcontent:
Heads and subheads
Use to make your major points
Need to be pearls of clarity, not cleverness
40-60 characters
Make first word important, information-carrying
Often displayed out of context as part of lists
– Search engines, email subjects, bookmarks
– Must stand on its own and make sense
Skip “A” and “The” in titles—n a list this could put it in a
confused mess under “T’s”
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Microcontent:
Subheads
Use to make your minor points
Enables reader to scroll down and understand your points
without even stopping
Those who skim can easily pick out information
Points are highlighted for those reading all details
People re-reading the page can review quickly
Finding specific points is easier
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Microcontent:
Subheads
Minor points detail the information supporting the major point
Highlight them by
– Boldfacing the font
– Using topic sentences
– Creating bulleted lists
Or consider a combination of these
Consider large, pull-out quotes in magazines as example.
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Detailed content:
Finally!
Use a writing style that assumes strong interest
Structure your content to assume a series of visits to page
Personal, informal, conversational style
Make it useful to your reader, not just of interest to you
The more specific, the more useful
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Detailed content:
Strunk & White
Omit needless words
Keep it simple, unless content dictates otherwise
Use active voice
Put statements in positive form
Keep to one tense
Write in a way that comes naturally
Do not overstate
Do not affect a breezy manner
Do not explain too much
Avoid fancy words
Be clear
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Detailed content:
Empower the user
Make sure people know what your site, and each page will do
for them
If people need or want to act on your information, provide them
what they need.
– request a transcript
– join a student organization
Use italics for emphasis and clarity
I said I liked it.
I said I liked it.
I said I liked it.
I said I liked it.
I said I liked it.
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“Killer content” examples
Research by Gerry McGovern
Out of 18 choices, why does one piece of content get
49 percent of the vote while another gets 0?
Tested a range of headings and summaries in 14
countries, with almost 3,000 people.
People were asked to scan 31 headings and 18
summaries about a particular subject and quickly
choose the one that stood out for them.
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Research con’t
Subject areas:
The launch of iTunes
A pet food scare
A launch of discount software by Microsoft
The launch of the final Harry Potter book
Top headings:
Tons of tunes (22 percent)
Poison found in pet food (30 percent)
$3 software for developing countries (23 percent)
Flying off the shelves (31 percent)
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Research con’t
Bottom headings
Apple's Music Store breaks the mold and sells
technology (0 percent)
Rodent poison found in now-recalled pet food blamed
for animal deaths (0 percent)
Three-Dollar Windows for Govt-Subsidized Student
Computers... (0 percent)
'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' sells
million copies in 24 hours (0 percent)
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Research con’t
Top summaries
99 cents per download, no restrictions. One million tracks sold online in
one week encouraging sign for ailing music industry, Apple ... (49
percent)
By Josh Fineman and Michael Quint. March 23 (Bloomberg) -- Rat
poison killed at least 16 cats and dogs and prompted last week's recall
of 60 million cans of ... (38 percent)
Microsoft plans to offer a $3 stripped-down package of Windows, Office
and other software to people in developing ... (34 percent)
WARNING: If you don't want to know what happens in "Harry Potter
and the Deathly Hallows," stop reading now. JK Rowling is far too
savvy a ... (38 percent)
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Research con’t
BOTTOM SUMMARIES
The music industry owes a lot to technology. But the new millennium
has brought slumping sales. Technology now terrifies music executives
... (0 percent)
BY MICHAEL AMON. At first, the pet food recall didn't much worry Jack
Friedman. His cats love Iams canned food but had never eaten the
"cuts and gravy" ... (0 percent)
In its effort to remain competitive and relevant to today's new
generation of Windows users around the world, Microsoft unveiled on
Thursday a new program ... (0 percent)
Cash tills around the world rang to the tune of Harry Potter over the
weekend and the seventh and final book in the ... (0 percent)
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Lessons learned-McGovern
The Web is the ultimate laboratory for content. It
allows us to know, with increasing precision, what
content leads to a positive action, and what content
leads to the Back button.
The content that works on the Web has one key
characteristic: it is customer-centric.
The content that doesn't work on the Web also has
one key characteristic: it is organization-centric.
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Lessons learned-McGovern
People today want an immediate answer to the
question: What's in it for me? They want brutal,
pared-down content that gets to the point
immediately.
Your website is not a murder mystery. Short, sharp,
second person and active; that's web content.
Get to the point. Then stop.
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Words that count
McGovern’s Customer Carewords™ approach is
built on the foundation of knowing the exact
words your audience cares about most
If you use these words with your audiences,
your website will deliver more value
For you, its using everyday words that convey
the key messages and core values central to
your school.
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Begin with the end in mind
Vision and Mission
Core Values
– Humanism
– Innovation
– Leadership
– Reflection
– Stewardship
– Collaboration
– Philanthropy
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How do you show this?
Simplicity
Tell stories
Keep it concrete
Be specific
Know why it matters to your audience
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Save the white space …
Gouch
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… it’s endangered
Gouch
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Short and snappy
Penn Dental
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Headlines too long
Penn Dental
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Not tailored for Web
Oregon
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Good but could be great
Gouch
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Culling powerful quotes
Gouch
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Good news, bad news
Headlines that pull in the reader
No “dumped” press releases
Why should I care factor
Don’t tell them what they already know
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Headlines, not labels
Harvard
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Is this interesting to you?
Columbia
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They know who you are…
Penn Dental
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Good news
Headlines that pull in the reader
No “dumped” press releases
Why should I care factor
Don’t tell them what they already know
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Do departments have to be dull?
Gouch
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Proofreading and checking:
Never post anything without someone reading behind you
Read what you have written out loud. Then proofread it
backwards, one word at a time.
Double-check all contact information: phones, email
addresses, web links, and mailing addresses
Double-check any financial information
Double-check any direct quotations
Know the editorial style chosen by the College and stick to it
Avoid acronyms
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Acknowledgements
Jakob Neilsen, Nelsen and Nelson
Catherine Tittle, Technical Documentation specialist,
Arbor Technicomm
Nathan Wallace, E-gineer.com
Daniel Will-Harris E-fuse.com
Gerry McGovern, Killer Web Content
Steve Krugs, Don’t Make Me Think
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