Transcript No Slide Title

Writing for the Web
Dugoni School
of Dentistry
University of
the Pacific
Lynn Donham
Zehno Cross Media Communications
A paradigm shift

Freeze-dried! A dramatically different
style of writing

Blend of classically strong writing and
new format
– “Omit unnecessary words!” — Strunk
& White
– Use active voice
– Usually half the length of
standard writing
zehno
www.zehno.com
The alternative

Students, faculty and staff avoid using the web,
preferring the phone or individual emails

Outsiders find the home page confusing and give up
before they find what they need

Faculty and staff continue to be bogged down with
routine transactions

Limits relationships and impact the College could
have
zehno
www.zehno.com
How users read*

*They don’t

Web users scan
– 79% of those tested always scanned any new
page
– 16% read word-for-word

“F” pattern found in eye-tracking usability studies
Jakob Neilsen, Neilsen Nelson Group, 1997, 1999
zehno
www.zehno.com
Implications of the F Pattern

Users won’t read your text thoroughly

The first two paragraphs must state the most
important information

Start subheads, paragraphs and bullet points
with words that carry the meaning
zehno
www.zehno.com
zehno
www.zehno.com
Scannable text
Text that communicates to scanners uses

Highlighted keywords

Meaningful headings and subheadings

Bulleted lists

One idea per paragraph (users skip over any more if
they aren’t caught by the first few words)

Half the usual word count
zehno
www.zehno.com
Measuring effectiveness
Researchers measured usability by the success
rate of users in accomplishing the same task.

5 versions of basically the same web pages

Three improvements boosted usability 124%
– Scannable text
– Concise writing (omit needless words; distill)
– Objective language; no puffery, exaggerations
zehno
www.zehno.com
Eyetrack07
zehno
www.zehno.com
Eyetrack07
zehno
www.zehno.com
Eyetrack07
zehno
www.zehno.com
Eyetrack07
zehno
www.zehno.com
Eyetrack07
zehno
www.zehno.com
Organizing Content

Making the jump to a non-linear model

Inverted Pyramid Style
zehno
www.zehno.com
Inverted pyramid style

The conclusion or ending comes first
– College welcomes largest class ever.

Most important supporting information comes next
– Record SAT scores
– Large increase in traditional age students
– New faculty hired
zehno
www.zehno.com
Then add the background

Increase is pay-off from new Web site

Business is most popular major

Additional parking added

Additional computer lab opened
zehno
www.zehno.com
zehno
www.zehno.com
Chunking

Segment writing into smaller, coherent units to
avoid long, scrolling pages. Each page is an
inverted pyramid connected to the larger subject.

Try to keep most important information above the
“fold” — the limit of the initial screen view without
scrolling

Take care not to over-divide your information. For
critical information, such as Admissions
Requirements, users will print out and read.
zehno
www.zehno.com
Redundancy

Expect related Web pages to have some overlap

The highest priority is to make things clear to your
reader

Try to provide a complete account of the subject
with an appropriate amount of background or detail.
zehno
www.zehno.com
zehno
www.zehno.com
zehno
www.zehno.com
Links

A bonus for online writing—invite further pursuit of
topic or provide additional aspects

George Landow, professor of English and art history
at Brown, named both ends of the link
– Rhetoric of departure
– Rhetoric of arrival

Highlights the need for both ends of the link to give
users understanding of where they may go and why
the arrival page is relevant
zehno
www.zehno.com
Pitfalls to avoid

Visual distraction: colored and underlined text within
a paragraph pulls the eye and disrupts the unit. Most
readers will click on link without ever finishing the
paragraph.

Disrupting the narrative: Links lead to stories half-told.
Users may follow the link, and subsequent ones, and
never return to your site.

Highlights the need for both ends of the link to tell
users where they may go and why the arrival page
is relevant
zehno
www.zehno.com
Writing to levels of interest:
None

Helps people with no interest avoid your page

Reduces traffic and load on your server

Helps guide people to desired pages
zehno
www.zehno.com
Writing to levels of interest:
None

Write clear and informative titles to make links
clearer

Promote your site and links only in relevant locations

Give accurate descriptions and keywords for search
engines
zehno
www.zehno.com
Writing to levels of interest:
Title only

The page title is the first piece of information you
give your reader

Title is the single piece to invite (link) the reader to
the page

Clear, meaningful titles improve this first filter of
users to your page

Titles should contain the basic idea of the page –
like CNN Headline News for Web readers.
zehno
www.zehno.com
Writing to levels of interest:
One-sentence summary

The purpose of the one-sentence summary is for
links to your page. It’s the final defense against
readers with no interest.

Many hubs and directories publish a one-sentence
description with each link. It may as well be yours.

Hubs and directories will often pick up the sentence
you provide.
zehno
www.zehno.com
Writing to levels of interest:
One-sentence summary

Helps readers know quickly if they’ve come to the
right spot

Helps readers determine their interest in your page.
Consider this the “small interest level” filter.

Gives readers a heads-up into the major point of
the page

Make it the first sentence on the page
zehno
www.zehno.com
zehno
www.zehno.com
Writing to levels of interest:
One-paragraph summary

Will be used by high-quality hubs

Gives you a few seconds to influence the reader

Provides insight into your material

Bookmark choices
zehno
www.zehno.com
Microcontent:
Heads and subheads

Use to make your major points

Need to be pearls of clarity, not cleverness

40-60 characters

Make first word important, information-carrying

Often displayed out of context as part of lists
– Search engines, email subjects, bookmarks
– Must stand on its own and make sense

Skip “A” and “The” in titles—n a list this could put it in a
confused mess under “T’s”
zehno
www.zehno.com
Microcontent:
Subheads

Use to make your minor points

Enables reader to scroll down and understand your points
without even stopping

Those who skim can easily pick out information

Points are highlighted for those reading all details

People re-reading the page can review quickly

Finding specific points is easier
zehno
www.zehno.com
Microcontent:
Subheads

Minor points detail the information supporting the major point

Highlight them by
– Boldfacing the font
– Using topic sentences
– Creating bulleted lists

Or consider a combination of these

Consider large, pull-out quotes in magazines as example.
zehno
www.zehno.com
Detailed content:
Finally!

Use a writing style that assumes strong interest

Structure your content to assume a series of visits to page

Personal, informal, conversational style

Make it useful to your reader, not just of interest to you

The more specific, the more useful
zehno
www.zehno.com
Detailed content:
Strunk & White

Omit needless words

Keep it simple, unless content dictates otherwise

Use active voice

Put statements in positive form

Keep to one tense

Write in a way that comes naturally

Do not overstate

Do not affect a breezy manner

Do not explain too much

Avoid fancy words

Be clear
zehno
www.zehno.com
Detailed content:
Empower the user

Make sure people know what your site, and each page will do
for them

If people need or want to act on your information, provide them
what they need.
– request a transcript
– join a student organization

Use italics for emphasis and clarity
I said I liked it.
I said I liked it.
I said I liked it.
I said I liked it.
I said I liked it.
zehno
www.zehno.com
“Killer content” examples

Research by Gerry McGovern

Out of 18 choices, why does one piece of content get
49 percent of the vote while another gets 0?

Tested a range of headings and summaries in 14
countries, with almost 3,000 people.

People were asked to scan 31 headings and 18
summaries about a particular subject and quickly
choose the one that stood out for them.
zehno
www.zehno.com
Research con’t
Subject areas:

The launch of iTunes

A pet food scare

A launch of discount software by Microsoft

The launch of the final Harry Potter book
Top headings:

Tons of tunes (22 percent)

Poison found in pet food (30 percent)

$3 software for developing countries (23 percent)

Flying off the shelves (31 percent)
zehno
www.zehno.com
Research con’t
Bottom headings

Apple's Music Store breaks the mold and sells
technology (0 percent)

Rodent poison found in now-recalled pet food blamed
for animal deaths (0 percent)

Three-Dollar Windows for Govt-Subsidized Student
Computers... (0 percent)

'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' sells
million copies in 24 hours (0 percent)
zehno
2.6
www.zehno.com
Research con’t
Top summaries

99 cents per download, no restrictions. One million tracks sold online in
one week encouraging sign for ailing music industry, Apple ... (49
percent)

By Josh Fineman and Michael Quint. March 23 (Bloomberg) -- Rat
poison killed at least 16 cats and dogs and prompted last week's recall
of 60 million cans of ... (38 percent)

Microsoft plans to offer a $3 stripped-down package of Windows, Office
and other software to people in developing ... (34 percent)

WARNING: If you don't want to know what happens in "Harry Potter
and the Deathly Hallows," stop reading now. JK Rowling is far too
savvy a ... (38 percent)
zehno
www.zehno.com
Research con’t
BOTTOM SUMMARIES

The music industry owes a lot to technology. But the new millennium
has brought slumping sales. Technology now terrifies music executives
... (0 percent)

BY MICHAEL AMON. At first, the pet food recall didn't much worry Jack
Friedman. His cats love Iams canned food but had never eaten the
"cuts and gravy" ... (0 percent)

In its effort to remain competitive and relevant to today's new
generation of Windows users around the world, Microsoft unveiled on
Thursday a new program ... (0 percent)

Cash tills around the world rang to the tune of Harry Potter over the
weekend and the seventh and final book in the ... (0 percent)
zehno
www.zehno.com
Lessons learned-McGovern

The Web is the ultimate laboratory for content. It
allows us to know, with increasing precision, what
content leads to a positive action, and what content
leads to the Back button.

The content that works on the Web has one key
characteristic: it is customer-centric.

The content that doesn't work on the Web also has
one key characteristic: it is organization-centric.
zehno
www.zehno.com
Lessons learned-McGovern

People today want an immediate answer to the
question: What's in it for me? They want brutal,
pared-down content that gets to the point
immediately.

Your website is not a murder mystery. Short, sharp,
second person and active; that's web content.

Get to the point. Then stop.
zehno
www.zehno.com
Words that count

McGovern’s Customer Carewords™ approach is
built on the foundation of knowing the exact
words your audience cares about most

If you use these words with your audiences,
your website will deliver more value

For you, its using everyday words that convey
the key messages and core values central to
your school.
zehno
www.zehno.com
Begin with the end in mind

Vision and Mission

Core Values
– Humanism
– Innovation
– Leadership
– Reflection
– Stewardship
– Collaboration
– Philanthropy
zehno
www.zehno.com
How do you show this?

Simplicity

Tell stories

Keep it concrete

Be specific

Know why it matters to your audience
zehno
www.zehno.com
Save the white space …

Gouch
zehno
www.zehno.com
… it’s endangered

Gouch
zehno
www.zehno.com
Short and snappy

Penn Dental
zehno
www.zehno.com
Headlines too long

Penn Dental
zehno
www.zehno.com
Not tailored for Web

Oregon
zehno
www.zehno.com
Good but could be great

Gouch
zehno
www.zehno.com
Culling powerful quotes

Gouch
zehno
www.zehno.com
Good news, bad news

Headlines that pull in the reader

No “dumped” press releases

Why should I care factor

Don’t tell them what they already know
zehno
www.zehno.com
Headlines, not labels

Harvard
zehno
www.zehno.com
Is this interesting to you?

Columbia
zehno
www.zehno.com
They know who you are…

Penn Dental
zehno
www.zehno.com
Good news

Headlines that pull in the reader

No “dumped” press releases

Why should I care factor

Don’t tell them what they already know
zehno
www.zehno.com
Do departments have to be dull?

Gouch
zehno
www.zehno.com
Proofreading and checking:

Never post anything without someone reading behind you

Read what you have written out loud. Then proofread it
backwards, one word at a time.

Double-check all contact information: phones, email
addresses, web links, and mailing addresses

Double-check any financial information

Double-check any direct quotations

Know the editorial style chosen by the College and stick to it

Avoid acronyms
zehno
www.zehno.com
Acknowledgements

Jakob Neilsen, Nelsen and Nelson

Catherine Tittle, Technical Documentation specialist,
Arbor Technicomm

Nathan Wallace, E-gineer.com

Daniel Will-Harris E-fuse.com

Gerry McGovern, Killer Web Content

Steve Krugs, Don’t Make Me Think
zehno
www.zehno.com
www.zehno.com
zehno
www.zehno.com