Transcript Document
Advice from Eats, Shoots & Leaves By Lynne Truss What is a Stickler?? • One who insists on something unyieldingly • Something puzzling or difficult What does “unyieldingly” mean?? • Not bending; inflexible • Not giving way to pressure or persuasion • Obdurate What does “obdurate” mean?? • Hardened against feeling; hardhearted • Not giving in to persuasion You know you have an Inner Stickler if… • You carry around a permanent black marker to correct any mistakes you see on posters, advertisements, etc. • You experience the stages of grief at the sight of bad grammar: shock, disbelief, pain, anger. • You have a Seventh Sense: instead of seeing dead people, you see dead punctuation. • You are a member of any kind of grammatical society such as the Apostrophe Protection Society in England. • You believe that proper punctuation is the world’s most endangered species. • You know the historical background of punctuation. Why is good grammar so important? A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots into the air. “Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. “I’m a panda,” he says at the door. “Look it up.” The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation… “Panda. Large black-and-white bearlike mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots & leaves.” What is the definition of Grammar? • “the traffic signals of language; they tell us when to slow down, take a detour, and stop.” • “the invisible servants in fairy tales—the ones who bring glasses of water and pillows, not storms of weather or love.” • “a courtesy designed to help readers understand a story without stumbling.” The Consequences of Mispunctuation: • A woman, without her man, is nothing. • A woman: without her, man is nothing. The Consequences of Mispunctuation: Dear Jack, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy---will you let me be yours? Jill The Consequences of Mispunctuation: Dear Jack, I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn. For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Jill The History of the Abused Apostrophe • The Apostrophe takes more abuse than any other type of punctuation. • It first appeared in the 16th century in Greece. • In Greek, the word means ‘turning away’ or ‘omission.’ It was used to mark dropped letters in classical texts (ta’en=taken) • It was first used to show possession in the 17th century (the teacher’s desk) • In England, in the days of yore, a humble farmer pointed out a misplaced apostrophe in a royal decree. The Queen created the job of Apostropher Royal, to control the quality and distribution of apostrophes to all grocers in England. This job still exists. • There have been reports of grocers deliberately misusing the apostrophe in their advertisement in order to bring customers in and get them to buy something. The History of the Comma • In 200 BC Aristophanes first used the term comma to refer to short pauses in plays. • Misplacement of commas was a catastrophe such as the difference here: “Verily, I say unto thee, This day shalt thou be with me in Paradise.” “Verily I say unto thee this day, Thou shalt be with me in Paradise.” The History of the Comma • In the 16th Century, the comma began being used the way we use it in modern day, like a grammatical sheepdog: “…it tears about on the hillside of language, endlessly organizing words into sensible groups and making them stay put: sorting and dividing; circling and herding…Commas, if you don’t whistle at them to calm down, are unstoppably enthusiastic at this job.” Common Comma Disorders: • Commaphalia: the uncontrollable urge to use as many commas as possible; an unconditional love of commas • Commaphobia: the fear of commas; the inability to use commas correctly often results in a fear of using them at all The Abused Apostrophe and Comma: • Take up arms in the Apostrophe and Comma War! • Weapons needed (stop when you feel uncomfortable…): -correction fluid (white out) -big pens -stickers cut in a variety of sizes, both plain (for sticking over unwanted apostrophes and commas) and colored (for inserting where apostrophes and commas are needed) -can of paint with big brush -camouflage clothing -strong medication for personality disorder -bullhorn -red pens to grade those abusing apostrophes and commas Long live apostrophes and commas!!