Transcript The role of sexual dissatisfaction in driving Multiple

The role of sexual dissatisfaction in driving
Multiple Concurrent Partnerships:
Rayhana Rassool
Presented @ 4th SA AIDS Conference
1 April 2009
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Soul City: IHDC – Who are we?
• An independent Non Governmental Organisation created in
1992 to promote health and development to South Africans.
• Began working with local partners in 8 SADC countries in 2002.
• Specific programmes targeted at various groups (children &
adults).
• Edutainment approach – intergrates education and
entertainment into popular drama programmes.
• Uses Massmedia – TV, Radio & Print
• All products and interventions informed by formative research
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Model of Social Change
Socio-economic + political national
environment
• Healthy public policy
Mass media,
Social Mobilisation,
Advocacy
Individual
• Knowledge
• Attitudes/Beliefs/
/Risk perception
• Skills
• Self-efficacy
• Support for policy action
• Subjective norms
• Link to services
Community
• Dialogue/debate
• Social norms
• Community efficacy
• Community action
• Social networks
• Social cohesion
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ONE LOVE Campaign
- A focus on Multiple Concurrent Partnerships
 ONE LOVE campaign is a 10 country partnership initiative
focusing on MCP.
 Soul City: IHDC is the South African partner in this initiative
 A response to SADC Think Tank, Maseru, May 2006
Multiple and concurrent partnerships with low consistent
condom use, in the context of low levels of male
circumcision are key drivers of the HIV pandemic in
Southern Africa.
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Define: Multiple Concurrent Partnerships
 What is: Multiple and concurrent partners
“The term MCP is used to define a situation
where partnerships overlap in time, either
where two more partnerships continue over
the same time period, or where one
partnership begins before the other
terminates. A sexual partnership is
considered to be concurrent in surveys if a
person reports having two or more sexual
partners in a month.”
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Research Objectives:
 Gain insight into target audience understanding,
attitudes and practices around sexual relationships in the
context of HIV prevention.
 Explore audience views and opinions on relationships
relating to MCP
 Explore audience attitudes towards MC
 Explore audience practices and motivations around
relationships including MCP
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FOCUS GROUP INTERVIEWS
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In-depth Interviews
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Sexual dissatisfaction (or a need for
sexual satisfaction) and lack of
communication emerged as one of
the reasons for having multiple
and concurrent partnerships.
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Emerging evidence around Sexual
dissatisfaction:
Various perceptions, attitudes and practices around
relationships were both common to men and women
across a wide range of ages
“Sometimes when we are unfaithful is because at home between me and my
wife we don’t discuss sex issues (such as) which positions I like.”
(males, 28-35, Urban, Mpumalanga)
“As we told you that if this other one does not satisfy you (sexually), you then get
satisfaction from the other one
(females 16 -20, Informal Settlement, North West)
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One theme that emerged prominently:
People need/want Sex and ‘sex is
essential in one’s life
“I learnt that sex is an important function of the body. It is possible to die if
you don’t engage in it”
(Female 28-40, Urban, Gauteng)
“… this girl I do not love her but she can perform, she does everything right,
you put her on the grass she does everything right, blow jobs, looking this
way and that everything. And you need that.”
(Male 28-40, Urban, Gauteng)
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Men spoke of their relationships with their primary partners
as being stressful and said that sex with them is not
exciting. The men discussed many reasons why they
strayed from these relationships in order to enjoy
themselves:
“If I marry my wife, that is the woman that I will experience all my sex
fantasies. If I get married and she tells me after a few years that no, we
can’t do that anymore, then you’ve got to finish up there.”
(Male 21-28, Urban, Western Cape)
“So with people who are involved in full time either with a girlfriend or wife.
You end up using sex as a sleeping therapy when you want to sleep. If I can
get one round I will be fine, and sleep.”
(Male 28-40, KZN, Urban)
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Young women: they need to have sex
with their boyfriends because sex
strengthens relationships and is a sign
of love:
“… it is because you love the person even though the person may not love you.
So you do it out of love and you tell yourself that so and so loves me
because that’s what he has told me.”
(Female group 18-20, Gauteng, Informal Settlement)
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Men asserted that their sexual
desire was beyond their control
“Right in the home, she can refuse to sleep with you. And now, you have to
understand that men are built a certain way: a woman can always say no,
but when she does, you know it can only turn out this way – we go out there
and find what we are looking for, because there is no way of stopping
yourself when you want it.”
(Male, 21-28, rural, Eastern Cape)
“There are times when you think you do not want it, but if she comes and
sits there enticing you, you can’t help it and you end up falling again.
Desires overpower us, especially sexual”
(Males, 21-28, Urban, Free State)
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The need for sexual satisfaction was
one of the reasons participants gave
as their reason for having concurrent
partnerships
“You just pretend as if he satisfies you and even scream like Eeeh! Eeeh!
Pretending that you are enjoying and yet feel nothing … you then meet
someone on the road and you start imaging that he might be better than
your husband in sex, you then discover that actually he is better than your
husband and you can both satisfy each other”
(Gauteng Female 21-28, urban)
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Women and men both experience
sexual dissatisfaction:
“Its because now we are discerning – we know the difference
between good sex and bad sex. Like you know if someone is
boring in the bedroom and you know when you have met someone
who hits the spot. You carry on with the other one if he gives you
other things but you know that he just doesn’t do it for you
sexually.”
(Female group 25 – 35, Rural Kwa-Zulu Natal)
“Sometimes when you sleep with a person you find that his thing is
small and when you go elsewhere you find a prettier one that
struggles when it goes in, that is the one that we want!”
(female group, Rural Mpumalanga, 21-28)
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Men and women revealed lack of
communication about sex in steady
relationships such as marriage.
“So you see there are no forums to discuss issues about sex if there
were forums to talk openly about sex and desires that would limit men
from cheating because we can explore our sexual needs without being
judged that is why we prefer going to inyatsi (secret lover) to try new
positions because she won’t judge you, she is willing to try new things”
(Male group 28-35 years, Urban, Mpumalanga)
“It is definitely difficult to say let’s try something new. The reason is that
your husband will say ‘we have been married for so many years without
you saying let us do something new. Where did you get it from?”
(female 28-40 years, Informal Settlement, Western Cape)
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Summary of Sexual dissatisfaction
research
 The research found that many people are engaging in MCP.
 Sexual dissatisfaction and a lack of lack of effective
communication between partners.
 We know that this is grounded in the broader issues of
Gender inequalities and cultural practices. But broadly
we need to explore further:
 Men dissatisfied because of their identifying women in a
certain way
- They feel they cannot demand sex which could be dirty or
demeaning. The idea of ‘purity’ of the mother – so certain
sexual acts cannot be performed with the core partner
 Women are just to scared – could not bring up sex
dissatisfaction
 Some people taught themselves about sex through
pornography –a lack of access to contextualised sexual
information
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Conclusion:
Implications for a programmatic response:
Challenges
Messaging – how do you address sexual
dissatisfaction in media – how do you be
explicit without being offesive
Language: how do you communicate
complex sexual information and
knowledge? Media/community intervention

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I would like to acknowledge all the
researchers that worked on the research
project
THANK YOU!
[email protected]
www.onelovesouthernafrica.co.za
Soul City Distribution Centre
0860 11 5000
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