Transcript Paragraph Coherence

Heald College
Teri Tosspon



50 minutes to write, worth 80 points
2-3 pages long
Address ALL of these questions
 Summarize (tell what happened)
 What kind of intro (look at your textbook)?
 What was the main point?
 How did the author support his/her point?
 Write (at least 2 paragraphs) about what YOU
think: did you like it? Was it a powerful story? Did
it remind you of anything? Can compare to others.







In groups of 3-4, you will be assigned to
create a graphic or symbol to represent one
of the following areas:
Paragraph Development
Paragraph Length
Paragraph Unity
Paragraph Coherence
Paragraph Sequence
Transitions


Planning
Thesis essay map: can include a basic “map”
in your introduction paragraph



Must support the THESIS of the paper
The most GENERAL sentence in your
paragraph
Announces what
your paragraph
will be about

Focus! Revise so they are specific and
 Unfocused: too many people treat animals badly
in experiments.
 Focused: The cosmetic industry often harms
animals in unnecessary experiments.

Placing your sentence
 Put it where it FEELS natural
 Can go 1st in paragraph, 2nd, or even last.



Include enough supporting evidence to make
readers understand the topic
Make the info
clear and specific
Avoid vague
generalities and
repetitious ideas



Long enough to accomplish its purpose and
short enough to be interesting
Avoid the one- or two-sentence paragraph
Divide longish paragraphs at a logical point;
use transitional phrases

Recognizable order
 Time, space, deductive, inductive







Use transitional words/phrases
Give examples
Comparison/Contrast
Sequence
Results
Repeat key words (substitute pronouns too)
Avoid whiplash – maintain coherence!

Sequence
 Consider logic and effect

Transitions
 Use to link paragraphs and/or ideas
 Vary the type and placement to avoid boredom
1st
• First
• Begin
2nd
• Next
• In addiction
3rd
• Finally
• Then

A complete sentence requires:
 Subject: someone or something doing the action
 Verb: the action
 Complete thought

How
can Verb
you check?
Subject
 Add the words “It is true that…” before your
Francis named her new mutt Super Dog because he could
sentence. Fragments won’t make sense
 Intentional
leap fences in a fragments
single bound.
 used for emphasis or to convey a tone.
1. According to Lawrence M. Ausbel, author of
B. 1. The idea of a credit card first appeared in
“Credit
in the
McGraw-hill
of
1887.Cards,”
According
to Lawrence
M.Encyclopedia
Ausbel,
Economics,
ideaCards,”
of a credit
card
first appeared
author of the
“Credit
in the
McGraw-hill
in 1887.
Encyclopedia of Economics.
2.2.Originally
Originallyananimaginary
imaginaryconcept
conceptinina afuturist
futurist
novel
byby
Edward
Bellamy,
novel
Edward
Bellamy.the
Thecard
cardallowed
allowed
characters
charge
against
future
earnings.
characters
toto
charge
against
future
earnings.
3.
Around
the
turn
of
the
twentieth
century
3. Around the turn of the twentieth century, some
some American stores issued paper or metal
American
stores
issued
paper
or
metal
“shoppers’
“shoppers’ plates.” Although they were only
plates,”
were only
by
used byalthough
retailers they
to identify
theirused
credit
retailers
to identify their credit customers.
customers.
The
first
real
credit
card
was
issued
1947
4.4.
The
first
real
credit
card
was
issued
inin
1947
byby
a
a New
bank
a success.
Despite
New
YorkYork
bank
andand
waswas
a success,
despite
the
thethat
factcustomers
that customers
charge
fact
could could
charge
purchased only
only
in in
a two-block
inpurchased
a two-block
area
Brooklyn. area in
Brooklyn.
5.
Travel
and
entertainment
cards
soon
5. Travel and entertainment cards soon appeared,
appeared
that
allowed
customers
to
charge
including the American Express card in 1958
items
and
servicesinacross
and
Carte
Blanche
1959,the
thatcountry.
allowedFor
example,
the
American
Express
card
in
1958
customers to charge items and services across
and
Carte Blanche in 1959.
the
country.

Run on= 2 sentences together w/out
any
Subject
punctuation.
 Use a period
 Use a semicolon
The indicted police chief submitted his
resignation the mayor accepted it
gratefully.
Subject
 Use a comma + coordinating conjunction
Subject

(FANBOYS)
Verb
Verb
Verb
Inserting a comma only makes the sentence a
different
kind was
of fragment:
a comma
Victoria Woodhull
the first American
woman splice!
to run for
presidency,
was
in 1872 by
Ulysses S.above.
the
Instead
you she
need
todefeated
fix it through
a method
Grant.
1.1.My
Mymother
motherisisvery
verypolitically
politicallyconservative;
conservative,she’s
written
in King George
III for president
in the last
she’s written
in King George
III for president
two
elections.
in the
last two elections.
MaryLou
Loudecided
decidednot
nottotoeat
eatthe
thealphabet
alphabetsoup
2.2.Mary
soup the
letters
spelled
out
“botulism.”
because
the
letters
spelled
out
“botulism.”
driedgourd
gourdcontaining
containingseeds
seedsprobably
probably
3.3.AAdried
functioned
the
first
baby
rattle,Ancient
ancient
functioned
asas
the
first
baby
rattle.
Egyptian
wall
paintings
show
babies
with
Egyptian
wall
paintings
show
babies
with
such
such gourds
clutched
their fingers.
gourds
clutched
in theirin
fingers.
4.4.Opportunists
Civil
War
Opportunistswho
whocame
cametotothe
theSouth
Southafter
afterthe
the
Civil
wereWar
often
called
“carpetbaggers,”
becausethey
theycarried
carried
were
often
called “carpetbaggers,”
theirtheir
belongings
in cheaply
produced
travel
bagsbags
made of
belongings
in cheaply
produced
travel
Belgian
carpet.
made
of Belgian carpet.
5.5.AAfriend
friendofofmine
mineoffers
offersa agood
gooddefinition
definitionofofnasty
nastytheater
critics
theater
on opening
critics onnight
opening
. According
night , according
to him, they’re
to him,the
people
they’re
who
thecant
people
waitwho
to stone
cant the
waitfirst
to stone
cast. the first
cast.
When
English scientist
Jameswas
Smithson
in 1829
6.6.The
Smithsonian
Institution
starteddied
when
English
he willedJames
his entire
fortune
to in
the
United
Stateshis
to
scientist
Smithson
died
1829
he willed
establish
a foundation
for knowledge,
that’s how
entire
fortune
to the United
States to establish
a
the Smithsonian
Institution was started.
foundation
for knowledge.
7. The word “jack-o’-lantern” may have come from the
legend of Irish Jack. A mean old man in life, he was
condemned after death to wander the earth
carrying a hollow turnip with a lump of burning coal
inside.
8. People forget how large the blue whale is. It has a
heart as large as a Volkswagon Beetle and can hold
an elephant on its tongue.
9. Correct!
10. The famous Eiffel Tower, built for the 1889 Paris
Exposition, has inspired many crazy stunts: in 1891,
Silvain Domon climbed the 363 steps on stilts.

Avoid fragments/comma splices (p 565A 1-5,
+ 567A 1-5)
Reviewing Chapter 20– Identify Fragment or Run-On

To be a complete sentence Subject
 Verb
 Express a
complete thought
▪ Watch for words
like “although”
and “because”!
Run on = combined incorrectly
linked w/ only a comma = comma splice


Teams stand in “batting order” in the
dugout (each team should have a row).
Answer the questions on the worksheet to
“hit”
 A Single – identify if it is a Fragment (F), Run
On (R) or Sentence (S) (take 1 base)
 A Double – correct the F or R (2 bases)
 2nd Inning Home Run : identify Subject AND
Verb
 Strike Out: incorrectly identify (F/R/S or
Subject/Verb), incorrectly correct the sentence.

Giving directions (not informing)
Give
• Select appropriate subject
• Describe appropriate equipment
Good
• Define special terms
• State steps in a logical order
Directions
• Explain each stop clearly, sufficiently, accurately
• Organize steps effectively
• If you have many small steps, organize them into
chunks! *see 211*

Include a thesis!
 What is your topic and what are you going to tell
us about it?

Pay special attention to the conclusion
 Tell us the significance, or end with a story – just
don’t abruptly end!
TO BID THE WORLD FAREWELL


Pg 218 (old: 207)
Answer questions 1-10
PREPARING FOR THE JOB
INTERVIEW


Pg 227 (old 212)
Answer questions 1-10
•Assign 1 person to each story (if you finish early, answer your questions
then begin reading your partner’s story).
•Each of you answer 1-10 (end of your story0 on your own paper.
•Then, talk through your answers.
•Each of you write your own response:
•How are these articles similar?
•How are they different?
•
What do you think about them (like/dislike, understood/didn’t)?

Pg 212 (old: pg 200)
Once you’ve chosen a topic, use the
Process Analysis Topic Starter

Rough Draft (2 copies) due 12/16/2010

 @ beginning of class next week

Final draft due 01/06/2011
 (though I would appreciate it via email by
01/01/2011

Avoid fragments/comma splices (p 565A 1-5,
+ 567A 1-5)

Write first draft – Process Analysis Essay (50
points, 2 copies due @ beginning of next
week)

Write a reflection/journal about anything you
want (1-2 pages)