Transcript Coming Out Process

Coming Out and
Internalized Homophobia
Chloe House, Ph.D.
Designed by:
Chloe House, M.S., Ed.S., ABD
Elizabeth Reyes, Ph.D.
Agenda
Mediating Factors
II. Developmental Models
III. Internalized Homophobia
IV. Vignettes
V. Questions/discussion
I.
Mediating Factors
in the coming out process
Multiple identities beyond LGBT, multiple
development
Racial/cultural
SES
Gender differences
Generational differences
Mediating factors
Fluidity of sexual orientation, especially
between lesbian and bisexual
– 50-85% of lesbians report sexual contact with
men (Rust, 1993)
– Moving between identities with frequent
periods of doubt and questioning = Normal
Mediating Factors
Present goal emphasizes helping mentee
coming out to self first, then others
Recognize cultural differences in coming
out
Empathy versus sympathy: How do you, as
a mentor, use your own experience to help
them understand themselves better, rather
than assuming that you know exactly what
they are experiencing?
Developmental Models
Griffin (1992): Identity Management
McCarn & Fassinger (1996): Lesbian
Identity Development
Morales (1990): Ethnic Minorities and
Parental acknowledgement
Cass’ 6 stage model (1979)
Identity Management, Griffin (1992)
IMPLICITLY
EXPLICITY
OUT
OUT
PASSING
COVERING
Lying
Censoring
Truth without
LGBT labels
Affirming
LGBT
identity
I assume you
don’t know.
I assume you
don’t know.
I assume you
know, but I’m
not sure.
I know you
know. You
know I know
you know.
See me as
heterosexual
Don’t see me
as LGBT
You can see
me as LGBT
if you want to
See me as
LGBT
Lesbian Identity Development
(McCarn & Fassinger, 1996)
Awareness
 Aware of feeling or being different, feeling pulled
towards women (Individual-I)
 Aware of existence of different sexual
orientations in people (Group-G)
 “I feel pulled toward women in ways I don’t
understand.” (I)
 “I had no idea there were LGBT people out
there.” (G)
Lesbian Identity Development
(McCarn & Fassinger, 1996)
Exploration
 Exploration of strong/erotic feelings for women
(I)
 Exploration of one’s position regarding LGBT
community as a group (G)
 “The way I feel makes me think I’d like to be
sexual with a woman.” (I)
 “Getting to know LGBT people is scary but
exciting.” (G)
Lesbian Identity Development
(McCarn & Fassinger, 1996)
Deepening/Commitment
 Commitment to self-knowledge, self-fulfillment,
and clarity of choices (I)
 Commitment to personal involvement with
LGBT group with awareness of oppression (G)
 “I clearly feel more intimate sexually and
emotionally with women than with men.” (I)
 “Sometimes I have been mistreated because of
being lesbian.” (G)
Lesbian Identity Development
(McCarn & Fassinger, 1996)
Internalization/Synthesis
 Synthesis of love for women, sexual choices into
overall identity (I)
 Internalization of identity as a member of a
minority group, across contexts (G)
 “I am deeply fulfilled by my relationships with
women.” (I)
 “I feel comfortable with being lesbian no matter
where I am or who I am with.” (G)
Sexual Identity Development among Ethnic
Minority Gays and Lesbians (Morales, 1990)
I.Denial of conflicts
Minimization of the reality of
discrimination
Pre-defined sexual orientation
Few consequences of sexual
orientation/ethnicity are perceived
Sexual Identity Development among Ethnic
Minority Gays and Lesbians (Morales, 1990)
II. Bisexual vs. Gay or Lesbian
People of color may be more likely to
identity as bisexual because of the
consequence of a homosexual orientation
in the ethnic community
Actual sexual behaviors/affectional
orientation may not differ radically from
those who identify as gay or lesbian
Sexual Identity Development among Ethnic
Minority Gays and Lesbians (Morales, 1990)
III. Conflicts in allegiances
Anxiety is produced as a result of
awareness of simultaneous ethnic minority
and gay, lesbian, or bisexual status
May segment, or compartmentalize
identity in order to keep status separate
May experience multiple affiliation as a
betrayal of one or both statuses
Sexual Identity Development among Ethnic
Minority Gays and Lesbians (Morales, 1990)
IV. Establishing priorities in Allegiances
Primary identification with ethnic identity
prevails
Resentment commonly arises due to lack
of integration among communities
Anger and rage in response to rejection
experiences in GLB community due to
racism
Sexual Identity Development among Ethnic
Minority Gays and Lesbians (Morales, 1990)
V. Integration of communities
Integration of lifestyle and ethnicity
becomes a major concern
Anxiety, isolation, and/or alienation may
arise in response to attempts to integrate
Not all will choose to integrate identities
(Western notion)
Parental adjustment to disclosure
(Morales, 1990)
Factors which mediate impact of family
reaction:
Strength of religious values
Family values regarding traditional gender
roles
Family’s view of itself in relation to the
community
Parental adjustment to disclosure
(Morales, 1990)
I. Subliminal Awareness
A non-heterosexual orientation may be
suspected because of specific behaviors,
same sex-friends, not dating
heterosexually, dress and language use,
changes in communication (not addressing
certain subjects)
Parental adjustment to disclosure
(Morales, 1990)
II. Impact
A. Occurs when the truth is made apparent
B. The revelation crisis: the negotiation of
new family roles
1. Experience of loss of the member’s previous
family role
2. Feelings of guilt/failure (for “abnormality”)
3. Siblings may react with anger/confusion,
experienced as stranger despite shared
childhood
Parental adjustment to disclosure
(Morales, 1990)
III. Adjustment
Involves the family’s initial attempt to
adapt to the non-heterosexual family
member
Role clarification and adjustment
Parental adjustment to disclosure
(Morales, 1990)
IV. Resolution
The family discards the fantasized
heterosexual identity for the nonheterosexual identity of the family member
Family members begin to examine their
own values about non-heterosexuality and
modify them in light of new and often
intimate knowledge of non-heterosexual
persons
Parental adjustment to disclosure
(Morales, 1990)
V. Integration
Family adjusts values in order to
incorporate the non-heterosexual identity
into the family
Family members learn to de-emphasize the
small part of the non-heterosexual family
member’s identity that is different and
retain the majority of the person’s known
and loved attributes
The Coming Out Process (Cass, 1979)
I. Pre-coming out/Identity Confusion
Stage
A preconscious awareness of one’s feelings
A vague awareness of difference from
nongay others
May be unable to articulate the source of
the difference
The Coming Out Process (Cass, 1979)
II. Coming out/Identity Comparison
Coming to terms with feelings and
attractions
Coming out to one’s self
Beginning to tell others
Conflict between heterosexual identity
status and emerging identity
The Coming Out Process (Cass, 1979)
III. Exploration/Identity tolerance
Sexual and social experimentation/ the
second adolescence
Finding supportive others/ communities
Self-statement: “I am probably gay”
Learning new terms to self-identify
Balancing who to come out to and when
The Coming Out Process (Cass, 1979)
IV. First Relationship/Identity Acceptance
 Learning about relationships and breaking up
 Learning to function in same gender relationships
 Building comfort with LGBT community
 Knowing when to pass as straight, when not to
 Developing the chosen family
 Developing relationships which match one’s
values
 Finding one’s place within the culture
The Coming Out Process (Cass, 1979)
V. Identity Pride
May value LGB identity over nongay
identity
Immersion in the LGB culture
In group/out group pitfalls
The Coming Out Process (Cass, 1979)
VI. Integration/Identity Synthesis
Strong comfort with social and sexual self
Consolidation of identity (personal and
public selves)
Refocus on other developmental tasks
Sexual identity recedes into other aspects
of identity
Internalized homophobia
 Negative feelings to self-hate resulting from
living in a heterosexist environment that
devalues, stigmatizes and denigrates
nonheterosexuals
 Feelings of personal disgust, shame, and hostility
 Part of sexual identity development is
acknowledging prejudice in the environment and
its incorporation in the self
Internalized Homophobia
 Moral and Religious attitudes
– I believe homosexuality is a sin.
 Attitudes toward other LGBT people
– I wish some gay men wouldn’t “flaunt” their sexual orientation.
 Personal feelings about being LGBT
– I hate myself for being attracted to the same sex.
 Public Identification as LGBT
– I live in fear that someone will find out I am LGBT.
 Connection to LGBT community
– Social situations with other LGBT people make me feel
uncomfortable.
Internalized homophobia
Internalized homophobia is positively
correlated with depression and anxiety and
negatively correlated with self-esteem
(Szymanski & Chung, 2001)
Internalized homophobia and partner’s
level of internalized homophobia is
negatively correlated with being out at
work (Rostosky & Riggle, 2002)
Vignette #1: Kathy
A 19 y.o. Caucasian female who identifies as straight.
She is currently in her first serious relationship with
a female, though she has dated males and females
casually in the past. She is having a hard time
calling her girlfriend her girlfriend. Though she
does not attend church, she insists to her girlfriend
that her Catholicism taught her that marrying a man
and having a family is important and that she
doesn’t want to get too attached. She asks her
mentor how she can help make the girlfriend
understand, or if she should break up.
Vignette #2: T (Thanh)
T is a 23 y.o. first generation Vietnamese
American male. He shares strong concerns
that others not find out he meets with you.
He is recognizing he can no longer ignore
his feelings for men. He has told one
friend with a positive response. He
doesn’t know where to start, how to
meet people, and how to date men.
Vignette #3: Nate
Nate is a 20 y.o. African American male who
identifies as gay. He has been out to his family
and friends for a year now, mostly with positive
response. He is currently struggling with where
he fits in: he tells you his gay friends thinks he
talks about race too much, and his nongay and/or
Black friends make homophobic remarks. He
asks you about either ending connections to
the LGBT community or if he should come out
to more of his friends.
Questions?
Thank you
for being a mentor!