Transcript How the Bough Bends: The Creation of Family and Kinship by
How the Bough Bends:
The Creation of Family, Kinship and Community by Users of Donated Gametes Leanna Wolfe, Ph.D.
Presentation to the American Anthropological Association November 15, 2006
Who Uses Donated Gametes?
Single Mothers by Choice (SMCs 17% rise in babies born to 30-44 unmarried women between 1999-2003 Lesbian Couples Families with Fertility Issues donor sperm donor eggs donor embryos
The Gamete Donation Business
Sperm Banks California Cryobank shipped 9,600 vials of sperm to single women in 2005. Egg Donor Agencies $8,000 fees are typical Surrogate Mothers Gestational Surrogates
Research Methods
Participant Observation Online Support Groups Infertility Conferences In-Person Support Groups Interviews Email Surveys
What Gamete Recipients Seek
Intelligence Personality Sperm Donors--sense of humor Egg Donors--goals Genetics Phenotype Matches Open vs Anonymous Full Legal Rights
Sperm Recipients vs Egg Recipients
Single Mothers by Choice Mothers through Egg Donation Body is Normal; Life is Abnormal If Fertility Challenges; Life and Body both feel Abnormal Life is Normal; Body is Abnormal and for some, Intensely Abnormal
Single Mother by Choice Profile
Late 20s through mid 40s Highly Educated with Professional Career Often Financially Secure Fiercely Independent Family Revolutionaries Clear distinction between themselves and women who become single mothers through divorce or by accident Biotime Clock Pressure Baby First; Marriage Maybe
SMC Process (part I) Thinking
No more time to wait for Mr. Right Implications of an SMC Identity Networking/Support Groups Finances Personal Support System Let Go of the Western Cultural Dream of Parenting with a Beloved Husband
I’ve faced that I’m not going to have this picket-fence-y life…now I have permission to directly pursue what I want. It’s a very curious and ambivalent liberation, because I would rather not be single. It’s not my first choice.
TTC Choice Mother
SMC Process (part II)
(Separation) Trying to Conceive (TTC) Scheduled Inseminations 2 week wait Fertility Boosters IUI, IVF, hormone regimens Many were unaware how fragile female fertility is Deciding on a Donor Anonymous vs. Open Dream Guy vs. Similar Phenotype to Herself Sperm Bank vs. Private Arrangement
When it came to donor selection, I found it almost as difficult as selecting a husband, but was thankfully more successful at it. It was a fascinating process in that the package of traits I focussed on were different from those I looked at on a date or in a relationship.
Choice Mother of a one year old child
My very first consideration for choosing a donor was that he be “open” or willing to meet my child after he or she turns 18…. Intelligence was a huge factor as well. I have a lot of my own identity wrapped up in intelligence and really want the same for my child.
TTC Choice Mother
I weighed phenotype pretty heavily until I realized that there was not an unlimited catalogue of donors from which to choose. Then I went with intelligence and personality.
Choice Mother of two children
SMC Process (part III)
(liminal phase) Pregnancy Fear Begin incorporating New Identity Start Building Support System Social, Physical, Emotional May Stop Dating Shift in expectations from relationships with men
SMC Process (part IV)
(re-incorporation) Birth Parenting Allomothers and Daddies Support Systems Blood Family Other SMCs Extended Family via Donor Sibling Registry Networks can be akin to a polygynous family without the financial support or physical presence of the progenitor/father.
Its exceptionally important that my son know other children who are “like him” so that he does not feel like an anomaly. I have found that having a child on my own has made him something of a community baby….unlike married couples who want/expect privacy on these issues.
Choice Mother of a one year old child
Egg Recipient Profile
Married/Nuclear Family some SMCs 30s-early 50s Fertility Problems often age-related unsuccessful with IUI/IVF treatments Very much want children OR siblings for their birth children
Egg Recipient Process (part I)
Thinking Acceptability of Non-Genetic Connection to child?
Costs? Very Expensive Donor Fees, Lab Fees, Limited Insurance Coverage Tell Others? Keep Secret?
Compare to Adoption More control over prenatal environment Health Considerations for both mother and babies
Egg Recipient Process (part II)
(separation) Trying to Conceive Selecting a Donor Protocols Sync up recipient and donors menstrual cycles IVF process for donor Uterine prep process for recipient Transfer 2 week wait
Most Important Egg Donor Qualities
90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 Important Not Important
Desired Egg Donor Qualities
90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 Important Not Important
Regarding Race/Ethnicity, we wanted someone who blended well with us…they didn’t have to match me! I had no interest in telling the general public about our infertility issues… It all worked out in the end, I went with my gut and I wasn’t wrong.
DE Mother
One of the things that “spoke” to me about her was a photo. She had an expression that could have been me in college. She didn’t look like me. She was no clone. But something in that expression spoke to me.
DE Mother of two children
We mainly looked at her smile. That was huge. She seemed to love life
Expectant DE Mother
Egg Recipient Process (part III)
(liminal phase) Pregnancy Often Difficult Miscarriages embryos that might otherwise have never implanted Premature Births Multiples anxiety over carrying/raising twins+
Egg Recipient Process (part IV)
(re-incorporation) Birth C-sections common Immediate Love for the Baby Babies treated w/extreme care & devotion Postpartum Depression Rare Very relieved to finally become a Mother Parenting Join the world of “normal” parents
Conclusions
Gamete seekers focus on intelligence, personality and phenotype Seek “normal” gametes to create “normal” families Family/Community Revolutionaries?
Donor Sibling Registry DE support through conception process but little interest in social networking for parenting.
New Definitions of Family and Community