Transcript conflict management

Creative Conflict
Management
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Objectives
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To recognize the inevitability of conflict
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To develop a proactive approach to conflict
management
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To focus on achieving win-win outcomes
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To learn and practice negotiation skills
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How Is Conflict Defined?
A state of disharmony between incompatible or
antithetical persons, ideas, or interests.
American Heritage Dictionary
Opposition between two simultaneous but
incompatible feelings; a state of opposition between
persons or ideas or interests; a disagreement or
argument about something important.
WordNet
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Conflict: Myths and Reality
1. Conflict is usually dysfunctional in
a work environment.
Agree _____
Disagree _____
2. Workplace conflict is inevitable.
Agree _____
Disagree _____
3. Conflict often reflects communication
breakdown.
Agree _____
Disagree _____
4. Most conflicts can be resolved.
Agree _____
Disagree _____
5. If avoided, most conflicts will
eventually go away.
Agree _____
Disagree _____
6. Conflict can help build relationships.
Agree _____
Disagree _____
7. Conflict can be a motivator for
positive change.
Agree _____
Disagree _____
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Conflict: The Facts
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Conflict is inevitable
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Most conflict can be managed
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Your style of interacting with others will
be a determining factor in whether or
not you will successfully manage
conflict
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Conflict: More Facts
Conflict, managed in a
healthy way can result in:
 personal and professional
Conflict, managed in an
unhealthy way can result in:
 distrust
growth
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violence/aggression/ anger
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improved relationships
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withdrawal
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better communication
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decreased morale and
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increased morale and
productivity
productivity
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What’s Your Conflict Management Style?
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Negotiation
Specific approaches,
skills and techniques
that focus on
transforming conflict
into productive
interactions with a
win/win outcome.
Win/Win
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Assertion
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Assertion is a key skill for the management of
conflict
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Needs are clearly stated in a direct, respectful
manner
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Speaker takes “ownership” of the need or want
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Speaker does not intimidate or deny the rights of
others
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Speaker maintains self-respect while demonstrating
respect for others
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Assertion Message
Describe Behavior:
When....
Express Effect:
I feel...
I think...
I believe...
Specify:
I would prefer... I would like it if next
time you would...
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Communicating Your Reaction to Another
Person’s Behavior - An Example
A co-worker has the habit of leaving things on your desk – from half-empty
coffee cups to notepads. You have asked this person once before to
please be sure to remove any items that belong to him. But he keeps
doing the same thing. What do you do now? You go to the co-worker and
say . . .
“When you leave your personal belongs on my desk . . .”
(My reaction is) “I get annoyed . . .”
“Because I either have to throw your things away or take the time to find
you to give them back.”
What I want to happen is: “I would really appreciate your making sure you
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take everything with you.”
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Communicating Your Reaction to Another
Person’s Behavior
Word has gotten back to you that someone you work with has been
gossiping about you to others. This is not the first time this has happened.
However, you have never felt comfortable raising the issue directly with
this person in the past. This time you decide to say something.
When you __________________________________________________
(My reaction is) ______________________________________________
Because ___________________________________________________
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What I want to happen is ______________________________________
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Managing Conflict through Negotiation
Negotiation is back and forth communication
designed to reach agreement between people who
have some goals that are shared and others that are
opposed. Effective negotiation requires excellent
verbal communication and listening skills. It is most
effective when the parties can reach a win-win
outcome.
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Why Bother to Negotiate with a
Win/Win Outcome in Mind?
 Productivity, morale and quality of work will
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improve
You’ll get help when you need it
Conflict can be managed, if not resolved
You’ll experience less stress
You’ll maintain important relationships
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Before You Begin, Ask . . .
 Is this issue negotiable?
 Am I (or are the parties involved)
willing to work toward collaboration?
 Is there a value to negotiation in
this particular situation?
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The 7 Steps of Negotiation
1) Describe the conflict or problem.
2) Listen to the other person’s point of view.
3) Ask questions; gather information.
4) Focus on the goals you share.
5) Look at possible outcomes.
6) Select a solution that will best achieve the
shared goals and that is fair and workable.
7) Establish criteria for checking results.
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Case Scenario: Rita’s Perspective
Rita and Chris, share responsibility for preparing an
important report. Rita is very concerned about
completing a draft of the report early enough to allow
sufficient time for careful review and editing. She feels
that most people wait until the last minute to get the work
in and then sacrifice quality since they don’t have enough
opportunity to improve the writing or to correct all errors.
She thinks that she is a better writer than Chris and feels
that he doesn’t have a good sense of how a report
should read.
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Case Scenario: Chris’ Perspective
Chris is meticulous about gathering all of the data
needed for the report. In fact, he considers himself far
more thorough in his approach than Rita. He also thinks
that Rita tends to focus more on style than on content.
As far as he is concerned, having a well-written report is
important, but a responsible person certainly can’t
consider style more important than making sure that all
important information has been included.
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Case Scenario: The Conflict
Chris and Rita can’t agree on a time line for the report. Rita insists
that he turn in all of his information at least one week before the
report is due so that she can be assured of enough time for
review and rewriting. Chris argues that this will not give him
enough time to recheck the data and determine if anything is
missing. Rita becomes angry and accuses Chris of being “lost in
little details” and not being able to “see the forest for the trees.”
Chris is equally angry and accuses Rita of being willing to
sacrifice accuracy for appearance. He claims that her approach to
the work is superficial and will result in a lower quality product
than he could complete on his own. Rita and Chris’s mutual
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Steps 1-3 of Conflict Management
1. Describe the conflict or problem.
How would you describe this problem to an outsider?
2. Listen to the other person’s point of view.
What is Rita’s point of view?
What is Chris’ point of view?
3. Ask questions; gather information.
If you were Rita, what questions might you ask Chris?
If you were Chris, what would you ask Rita?
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Steps 4 and 5
4. Focus on common goals
Do Rita and Chris have any goals in common? If
so, what are they?
5. Look at possible outcomes
What are some possible ways to handle this
conflict?
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Steps 6 and 7
6. Select a solution that will best achieve the goals
of both parties and that is fair and workable.
What are some possible solutions you can offer to
Rita and Chris?
7. Establish criteria for checking results.
If Rita and Chris test a possible solutions, how will
they know whether or not it works?
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Special Situations:
Handling Your Own Anger
 Recognize/acknowledge your anger
 Be clear about what are appropriate and
inappropriate expressions of anger
 Stay focused on problem solving
 Take time out if needed
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Handling Other People’s Anger
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Try hard not to take it personally
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Acknowledge the other person’s anger
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Listen carefully
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Try to maintain privacy
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Ask the other party to sit down
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Keep your voice calm
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Don’t be judgmental
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Know When to Intervene
Start of
Slow Down
Intervention
Take Off
Cool Off
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Identify the other person’s anger
Acknowledge the anger
Allow its expression, as appropriate
Intervene when appropriate
Problem
Solve
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Case Scenario: Handling Anger
You just got off the phone with an angry client who was unhappy
with work performed by your organization. He insisted that you
correct it immediately. When you indicated that you would have to
review his requests with your supervisor, he yelled: “I don’t have
time for this.” Then, he hung up.
What are you feeling?
What should you do next?
How can you deal with your anger about the situation?
If a similar situation happens again, how might you handle it in order
to calm the caller down and prevent him from hanging up on you?
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Know When to Ask for Help
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You can’t handle the situation alone
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You can’t be objective
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A participant in the conflict poses a
threat to himself/herself or others
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The situation has the potential for
considerable damage to your
organization
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Summary: Tips for Managing Conflict
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Be proactive;
anticipate
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Stick to a model for
conflict management
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Communicate
assertively
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Focus on a win-win
outcome
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Keep dialogue going
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Practice
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Never assume conflict
will just “go away”
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Know when to get help
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