Transcript Document

TO
THE
Conrad BLUCHER
INSTITUTE for Surveying and Science
Instigator of the secret cult
called the: WHBA (Blucher
WorkaHolics Anonymous)
It is told that she is an Alien ( she certainly behaves like one
at times) But her intensions are good ( or are they?)
Her hobbies include jumping out of perfectly well functioning
plains and disturbing the local wildlife above and under
water….
Keep your eyes
pealed:
this is the Scene of The crime:
workaholic headquarters in Corpus
Christi Texas
Worker Distribution Table :
This table shows the
percentage of workers
present on a given day of
the week, and at given
times of the day, where
green is the morning
hours, blue is the noon
time and orange is the late
afternoon time
100%
90%
80%
70%
60%
50%
40%
30%
20%
10%
0%
Monday
Thuesday
Wednesday
Morning
Noon
Afternoon
Tursday
Friday
Your typical well organized office space:
Notice the delicate
arrangement of the work
environment…
All shelf space has been
perfectly utilized
Everything is clearly
marked
All cables are strategically
placed for easy yanking
….aaahhh…access.
A place for everything and
everything in its place…kinda
Meet the members of
the BWHA:
Warning:
No liability or any kind of
responsibility taken by
anyone for any reason
For anything ever!!!!
*Proceed at your own risk*
Meet: The Cable Guy or
ET-specialist (or was it IT)
Charles White, or the
man….
The man fixes almost
anything as long as it does
not occupy the hand that
holds the phone (ET phone
home)
For those tasks he has his
specialty crew consisting of
only blonde women-aliens
with IQ’s above 10 ( but
they do not have to call him
Master)
Meet our first Alien from Brazil:
Simone the beautiful
Totally absorbed into her
work and completely
paralyzed by the flickering
image on the computer
screen (Poke’mon)
Dreaming about becoming
a soccer star (notice the
shoes)and her favorite pass
time occupation is
gossiping on the phone (
but she never ever will tell)
A good girl after all
The OTHER Alien from Germany: Lilo FuzzyBrain
(not Lilo and Stitch)
Her mouth is her most
valuable and fastest tool, used
mostly in conjunction with a
much slower thought process.
As a side effect: Both feet fit
comfortably in her mouth.
With fake hair and a fat smile
she hopes to get away with
it…and mostly does ( at
least that is what she thinks).
Meet: Heather
(riddle me this and riddle me that )
Like Mona Lisa, this woman has
many secrets and here is shown
only one of them.
Her hobbies include finding out
whose student worker she actually
is, big dog tossing
( mainly on weekends) and deep
sinking…..ooops….deep thinking of
course.
She keeps on insisting that her face
looks funny on photographs
Meet: Isabel of the thousand fragrances
Besides having the greatest
smelly candle collection in
hero township she has a
totally disarming smile
Most of the time she can be
found buried under packing
slips and UPS labels.
Secretly she want to be
buried under fed-ex labels
since the delivery guy is so
much cuter…
Meet: Sarah Us Err Y It
(Latin for: to err is human but Sarah does not)
Through the seasons, year in and out inventory
comes…and never goes. Steady as a rock She is there
to make sure that everybody is sure to ensure that
inventory surely does not become an unsure issue
around here.
Her hair has gotten longer much as her patience has
and with her feet up and the alertness of a hedge hog
in spring, she can tell… it will be a long summer full
of inventory this year.
Her TEES are annoying her at times
But she will never give up the fight
For equal inventory …go Sarah !!!
Meet: Chris the serf-dude (master of the wave)
Leisure is his middle name and
cool accompanies it.
His posture makes him
recognizable from afar, his
expertise of the motion of the ocean
is unsurpassed (except maybe by
the fish that live in it)
What he does nobody really
knows but he works very hard at
it!
Know body knows who that
intruding face at the corner of
the picture is but it is cute
…so…it’s cool!!
His electronics-can’t-touch-this-Phobia is the main reason this man does not know what to do
with his hands……but like a gunslinger…he is ready to use’em if he has to
Meet: Dan the WAN the Radioman
(Who went to England to marry the Queen)
Vibes and pings and satellites
are this man’s greatest
delights.
He mentioned once that he was
about to cross Texas
swimming…but really, there
is just not enough water
around the mid section of this
State.
His passion is being stranded
on an oilrig during summer
heat and watch the seagulls
deposit their dodo on the solar
panels
His secret is: he wants to become a belly dancer for the Russian ballet
Meet: Frank [y] (but he does not go to Hollywood..yet)
A man with a big heart, a big
smile and a big file cabinet (
unfortunately it does not
accommodate the 200 or so boxes
being strategically rotated
through the building)
Master of the lamp and holder of
dreams of golden coins(I think
it is called budged)he summons
the golden dollar for trade on the
sprinkle doughnut market
Meet: Dixie the office vixen and holder of
the sacred…ahhm secret knowledge
Her patience is only surpassed
by the length of the rotation of
the earth around the sun
(right, we ARE still the center
of gravity around here!)
Her hobbies include staying
late at blucher9 mmhh, I
wonder if she has permanently
bonded with her office
chair?)and lending her ears to
anyone ( I wonder where she
keeps all those spare ears?)
Meet: Mr. Altoid Dilbert alias John Perez
His breath is always minty fresh
not quite so the computers he
works on.
Rumor has it, that the enormous
dent on his head (covered by his
hair and beard)was the result of
all the tin boxes collapsing the
shelf and coming tumbling down
knocking him out for a few split
seconds were he had an epiphany
…and so Dilbert came into his
life.
Frequent Visitors of BWHA
(in no particular order or disorder)
They strive to greatness but have
not yet achieved WH-State
Meet: Monica Fairy Queen of the DNR
Her name is German, her
nationality is American and
her looks are oriental.
She lingers at times in Dixie’s
office and exchanges
interplanetary secrets in a low
mumbling voice.
She mysteriously wonders
through the corridors and
hallways and her smile makes
you wonder what she might be
thinking about
Meet: Sam the earthbound and she is
nobody’s uncle!
Contradictory to the rumors of
any hut construction and that
she is not related to uncle tom
Sam is a wonderful
distraction when she comes
visiting the all powerful Dixi
Her hobbies include dry salt
water aquariums and
imaginary tropical fish
Her fear of strangers reading
her lips is clearly visible in
this snapshot, but otherwise
her smiles brighten up
everybody’s day
Welcome to the DNR
Dynamic Neurotic Researchers
The DNR is a interconnected part of BWHA in
some mysterious way, or maybe the other way
around. But in any which way, it has been
established through extensive research over the
last decade that Neurosis is a precondition to
Workaholicsism.
This makes it a necessity to introduce the
candidates as well as the individuals that have
developed the ultimate neurosis: Researchus
Uninteruptus Glorious Complexus.
Note: this condition is not infectious and can only be developed through exposure to the existing
environment of Blucherism and NRCism for a prolonged and continuous time span.You can exhale now !!
Meet: John Adams and Eaves
The man that coordinates the
down under Diveology Topology
of when and where and the
Syncronology of thought and task
assignments and then
wonders…were did I last leave my
divers ?
Did I leave the stove on or was I
supposed to put gas in the car?
He blesses us with a good sense of
humor and his energetic bouncy
ball exterior it is always fun in the
sun.
Meet:
Rizzo, James,
James Bond
007-11 is his secret extension and
he is the man that lives on
excitement, adrenaline and goes
nowhere without his famous
gadgets.
Coordinating the plans for secret
deployment of the Dive-Squadron
with the John James Double Bond –
Adams.
You can see the gears in his head
moving steadily, never resting, deep
thinking, always alert and ready….is
that sound the cutting of trees
somewhere nearby…?
Meet: the Dive boat we always wanted
First we had to reconsider the size.
Then we had to deal with what engine
we could afford.
Then we had to make a slight change in
the material used and add certain
hurricane safety measures since
insurance was out of the question
Here it is: our pride and joy. So
beautiful so like a princess, so
unreachable..
But then there were some budget
cuts…
..and this is what we got:
Meet: Eaves
with Adams
She has been here before, She is here now,
and She will be here again !!! Kristi in
Corpus Christi and what a corpus Kristy
has….woauhh
John Getting his shoulders into the freezer
(seems like the procedure has not been
worked out to satisfaction yet) but his
head keeps on getting in the way…..
……while the famous She is taking notes
(very important in research) in order to
later recall exactly how one shows a cold
shoulder.
This shows again that when it comes to
the conviction of our scientists not even
the universe is the limit.
Meet: Jessica Touchesmack
the Pearls of Pearls
The Girl that Perls like no other. The woman
that types faster then the wind, programs
like Narcissus loves himself and then gets stuck
on a light house issue.
Her syndrome started when hordes of people
stormed into her office every time a web page
was done and insisted that:
The light house wasn’t light enough…
The current arrows weren’t currenty currently
enough… the writing should be more right and
rite and left and more up then down but not
quite even when under it could be more and
then less was not bad either…..
..maybe it was best the way
it was and then…well…
Meet: Toni Mnemonic
This man is unstoppable one he gets into
the groove. His ideas come poring out like
the rain on hurricane day. The bleeps and
the greeps and the blinks and winks of HFRadar put the groovy in his groove
Emerged into programming, changing
registries and loosing workable components
of his computer he still has a smile left in
him to great his co-workers.
This is why we are proud to announce the
additional installment of the switch that
pauses the groove.
Meet: Scott Vi-Vip
Between computer parts and fuzzy round things in
various colors the VI-Vip whips up Vi-Editors to do
his Vip work with vicious vengeance ( say that 3
times fast)
When Vi-Viping becomes to vicious he relaxes his
fingers by juggling his fuzzy round various colored
things while thought of how to take over the world
preoccupy his mind.
Another genius with crystal clear logic and
understanding of the intricate workings of the
language of penguins. He is the Master of solving the
insolvent, the authority on matters of fuzzy round
logic ( even if it comes in various colors)
Meet:
the Animal Lover
He is cute, he is cuddly and he loves
Penguins. Leaving behind the Gates of
ignorance he ventured out, to boldly go
were no penguin has gone before with a
Red Hat as his trademark
Without him there would not be such
interconnectivity between the BWHA
and the DNR ( Dynamic Neurotic
Researchers).
Expanding his vision above and beyond
the mere view out of Windows and
Gateways, a great mind behind a
skirmish smile, the genius, the
philosopher, the wheel that turns and
greases BWHA & DNR
Your chance to win 3 Billion $: How many penguins can you find in the picture ? Send you answer to: Insomniac Inc, 666
Peevely Chills, CA 90210. Have to be present in person to collect. Drawing held on 29.Feb. 2023. All rights reserved.
Meet our Exchange
Student Alex Alexia
He came to us to Math lab his way into
manly hood
He left us wearing a dress Size 8. His
career wish to join NASA was cut
short….will we ever find out why?
After the extended stay of 6 month we
had to send him back to Germany with
our best wishes and 30 $ ( he was
supposed to do something with that but
he forgot), where he plunged into the
underground and has not been heard of
ever since…