Transcript Communication

Communication
Imagine…
• You have left your home to live in a
strange country you might never have
even heard of for before
• You are going to a school with students
from over 80 different nationalities
• You are going to live together in a room
with four people you have never met
before
Sounds familiar?
Welcome to Red Cross Nordic UWC
…and the struggles of communication
Negotiation
Beginning a talk
• Address the person with his appropriate
full name.
• Show interest in the other person.
• Give honest and sincere appreciation.
• Make the other feel important.
• Be a good listener.
• Smile.
Allan Pease – Body Language
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hpzC4ZWNy-U
Scenario
• You are a vegetarian and think that the
Cantina doesn’t provide you with enough
nutrients. You are trying to convince them
add more tofu, corn and beans to the
vegetarian meals, even though it will be
more expensive.
• Discussion: How can you negotiate that?
Bringing forward your cause
• Make the other person enthusiastic about your
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ideas.
Try to see things from the other person’s point
of view.
Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
Show respect for the other person’s opinion.
Try to make the other person say “yes, yes”
immediately.
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or
hers.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Scenario
• It is coming close to November Break.
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Unfortunately you cannot get into the mood yet
because you still have to do a math portfolio, a
history presentation, an English essay (…) until
the holidays begin. To make matters worse your
Economics teacher is now declaring that the big
Economics mid-term test is scheduled for before
the holidays begin! Obviously, you have no time
for revision.
Convince her to postpone the test until after the
holidays.
Conflict Management
Scenario
• You have been at the college for several
weeks now and are generally doing fine.
You like your roommates, but one of them
just keeps forgetting to clean the
bathroom. It is Wednesday and your
roommate has not done it again.
• Discussion: How do you address the
situation?
How not to do it
• Accusing.
• Condemning.
• Complaining.
• Insisting on your own opinion.
• Generalizing: use of the words “always”
and “never”
• Making the other person feel inferior.
Origins of
Communication Problems
• Sender – message - receiver
Four Ear Model
• Facts: The information in the message
• Self-revelation: What the speaker reveals
about himself.
• Relationship: What the speaker reveals
about the relationship with the receiver or
the receiver himself.
• Appeal: What the speaker wants to
achieve with the message.
Four Ear Model
• Example: Man and
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woman in a car. The
woman is driving and
stops at the traffic
lights. Man: “The lights
are green.”
What does the woman
hear in that message?
How does she feel?
Different Ways of Conflict Resolution
Competition
• Definition: Competition is characterized by
the need to win at all costs. It is a winlose situation with the need to dominate.
Competition
Competition is appropriate when:
• Quick, decisive action is necessary.
• The issues are important and unpopular
actions need to be implemented.
• The issues are vital to the team’s welfare
and you know you are right.
• When dealing with people who take
advantages of non-competitive behaviour.
• Other options are not possible.
Example
• Somebody has been drinking on campus
and John has found out about it.
Obviously John cannot call in a vote
whether that person should get a warning
or not, he or she has clearly violated the
rules and thus has to face the
consequences. John is choosing the
‘competition’ method of conflict resolution.
Collaboration
• Collaboration is characterized by a desire
to satisfy all team members in a win-win
situation.
Collaboration
Collaboration is appropriate when:
• You need to find an integrative solution and
both sets of concerns are too important to be
compromised.
• Your objective is to learn.
• You need to merge insights from people with
different perspectives.
• You want to gain commitment by incorporating
concerns into a consensus decision.
• You want to work through feelings that have
interfered with a relationship.
Example:
• You organize a fundraising café and
different tasks have to be done. You
present the different tasks and ask what
each person in the group would like to do.
Avoidance
• Definition: Avoidance is characterized by
attempts to distract attention from the
issue or ignore it completely.
Avoidance
Avoidance is appropriate when:
• An issue is trivial or more important issues are
pressing.
• You see that there is no chance to satisfy your
major concerns.
• You need to let people cool down and regain
perspective.
• You need more time to gather information.
• Others can resolve the conflict more effectively.
Example:
• You are the leader of an EAC and several
people come late. You are angry, but it
would be unfair to deal with the issue
during the EAC time because it would
waste the time of those who were
punctual.
Accommodation
• Definition: Accommodation is
characterized by the desire to please
others at the expense of a person’s own
needs.
Accommodation
Accommodation is appropriate when:
• You find that you are wrong.
• You want to show your reasonableness.
• Issues are more important to others than
yourself.
• You want to build social support for later use.
• You minimize your losses.
• You want to allow other team members to
develop by learning from mistakes.
Example:
• You are performing a song in the Winter
Show with several people. You would
personally like to sing a cappella. The
others are against the idea, but they go
along with it. In the rehearsals it doesn’t
seem to work out. Instead of forcing the
others to continue with your idea, you let
them do it their way, even if you still think
that a cappella would be nicer.
Compromise
• Example: Compromise is described by
meeting the conflict at midpoint. Both
parties in a dispute achieve moderate but
incomplete satisfaction.
Compromise
Compromise is appropriate when:
• Goals are important but not worth the effort of
disruption.
• Opponents with equal power are committed to
different means to a similar end.
• You want to achieve temporary settlements to
complex issues.
• You want to strive at an expedient solution
under time pressure.
• You need backup because collaboration or
competition is not working.
Example:
• A group of students has a suggestion of
how to improve the residential charter.
The teachers have certain ideas of how to
improve it, however, as well. Both parties
have to get together and agree on a
compromise that both sides would be okay
with.
Tactics
• Assess the need of an argument.
• Begin in a friendly way.
• Show respect for the other person’s
opinion.
• Be a good listener.
• Try honestly to see things from the other
person’s point of view.
• If you are wrong, admit it quickly and
empathetically.
Scenario
• A roommate of yours is constantly
bringing friends back to the room late at
night. Unfortunately, you cannot sleep
because they are too loud.
• Tell your roommate that the situation is
bothering you and solve the conflict so
that both of you can agree with it.
Feedback
Addressing Feedback
• Begin in a friendly way.
• Give honest appreciation.
• Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other
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person.
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point
of view.
Call attention to the other people’s mistakes indirectly.
Use encouragement: Make the fault seem easy to
correct.
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Ask questions instead of giving orders directly.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every
improvement.
Scenario
• Your roommate is struggling with his
Extended Essay and wants you to have a
look at it. Even though he/she has been
working a lot, there are a lot of mistakes
in it.
• How do you give feedback to him in a
positive way?
Evaluation