Bullying and Special Needs Students

Little Silver Child Study Team Carissa Bavosi, School Social Worker Kathleen Mulcahy, LDTC Michele Thompson, School Psychologist

“Bullying We’ll Stop It”

•

Video of Long Branch Middle School performing 'Bullying We'll Stop It'

This is their music video, directed by Grant Brown. (Video courtesy of Long Branch Middle School Anti-Bullying Crew)

• YouTube: Bullying We'll Stop It

New Jersey’s Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights Act

• Provisions of law took effect 9/1/11 • Highlights of the bill include: 1. Every school district must adopt a new

harassment, intimidation and bullying policy

to be in compliance with the bill by 9-1-11 2. Every school district must appoint an

Anti Bullying Coordinator

. Every school must have an

Anti-Bullying Specialist and School Safety Team

3. Every teacher must complete

two hours

of instruction in harassment, intimidation and bullying prevention

Markham Place School Anti-Bullying Specialist, Jen Peirson Substitute, Michele Thompson School Safety Team Anti-Bullying Coordinator, Mr. Dennis Morolda Point Road School Bullying Specialists, Julie Ford Jen Egidio Substitute, Annamarie Clapp School Safety Team

Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying is Defined as:

Any gesture, written, verbal or physical act or electronic communication • Motivated by actual or perceived distinguishing characteristic • Takes place on school property, a school bus or school sponsored function or off school grounds that SUBSTAINALLY DISRUPTS or INTERFERES with the orderly operation of school • A reasonable person should know that the act will physically or emotionally harm a pupil or will result in a reasonable fear of physical and emotional harm • Insults or demeans a pupil or group of pupils • Creates a hostile educational environment for the pupil

Proactive Prevention Initiatives

• Developmental designs-CPR • Responsive classroom-Morning Meeting • School safety teams • Pro-social groups • Respect week • Anti-violence week • Assemblies • Service learning

Point Road School Rules

1. Respect yourself 2. Respect others 3. Take care of our environment

Markham Place School Rules 1. Always have a positive attitude 2. Be accountable 3. Make a difference 4. Be yourself 5. Persevere

Typical Conflict

Equal power Occasional occurrence Typically accidental Typically non-threatening Equal emotional reaction Typically not attention seeking or power seeking Remorse, takes responsibility for actions Makes effort to solve the problem

Typical Conflict vs. Bullying Behavior Bullying Behavior

Imbalance of power Repeated negative actions or covert actions Purposeful Threats of physical or emotional harm Attempts to hurt through humiliation and/or exclusion Strong emotional reaction from target Little or no emotion from bully Attempt to gain power and control No remorse-blames target May manipulate situation Denial of problem, no effort to help solve problem, may challenge authority by denying involvement or behaviors

Unique Challenges for Children with Special Needs

• These children may… – have low frustration tolerance – have difficulty paying attention – have difficulty reading social cues – be less likely to stand up for themselves and have lower self-esteem – be unable to perform age appropriate motor skills and/or have poor stamina – have difficulty communicating These unique challenges can, at times, overwhelm children and their families

What Works for Children with Special Needs?

Social and emotional learning curriculums and successful tools at home

5 Steps to Disable the Bullying of Children with Special Needs 1. Educate:

Change starts with each individual. Dispel myths and stereotypes. Disability awareness. Celebrate diversity.

2. Ask questions:

Many youth with special needs are not aware they are being bullied. It may be difficult for them to communicate when a bullying incident occurs because of their speech/language delays. Caregivers and educators need to frame open-ended questions that allow insight into schoolyard or online activity

3. Speak up:

If one suspects or witnesses a child with special needs being bullied, speak up and notify educators. Do not be a bystander

4. Build community:

Children with special needs and their families are important members of the community

5. Disable bullying:

Share the strengths and successes of people with special needs. Promote awareness and support

Tools for Students and Parents

• Planning skills • Strategies (Stop, Walk, Talk and ASSERT) • Tips for parents • If your child is bullying others

Planning Skills

• Brainstorm ways to avoid bullying situations with your child – Travel in groups – Sit with students who are friendly to you – Stay away from places you feel unsafe – If you notice a bully coming towards you, walk calmly and safely away – Stay away from people who make you feel uncomfortable, anxious, scared, worried or nervous – When walking in a public place, do not look at the ground Look around – Always let an adult or trusted friend know where you are going

Strategies

• Reinforce your child’s 3-5 school wide rules • Review what the school rules should look like inside and outside of the classroom • Discuss that students often exhibit problem behavior outside the classroom for peer attention • Stop, walk, talk is a 3 step response to address problem behavior

Stop

• • Use stop when experiencing problem behavior or when witnessing problem behavior It is important to review appropriate use of stop, as children with special needs may have difficulty identifying problem behavior • Appropriate uses of stop – Johnny pokes Sally in the back over and over while in line – Susie teases Sally and calls her a name – Joey tackles Sam while playing two-hand touch football – Sam steals the ball from Fred when they are not playing a game that involves stealing • Inappropriate uses of stop – Johnny accidentally breaks the double-dribble rule in basketball – Kelly makes a suggestion for a game that Fred does not like – Sam steals the ball from Fred when they are playing basketball: a game where stealing is appropriate

Walk

• Sometimes, even when a child tells others to stop , problem behavior may continue • If this happens, the child should walk away • Remind the child that walking away removes the reinforcement for the problem behavior • Model and practice walking away

Talk

• • • Teach children that even when they use stop and walk away, sometimes a peer will continue to behave inappropriately toward them If that happens, they should talk to an adult Children with special needs may have difficulty distinguishing between talking and tattling

Talking Tattling

Talking is when you have tried to solve the problem yourself Tattling is when you do not use stop and walk away steps before talking to an adult You have used stop and walk (Did you request stop? Did you walk away?) Tattling is when your goal is to get the other person in trouble

The

ASSERT

Formula

• • • • • •

A – Attention

: Before you can talk about and try to solve a problem you are having with someone else, you need to get his or her attention. For example: “Sean, I need to talk to you about something. Is now a good time?”

S – Soon, Simple and Short

: Speak up as soon as you realize your rights have been violated. Look the person in the eye and keep your comments brief and to the point. Example: “It’s about something that happened in the hall today”

S – Specific Behavior

: What did the person do to violate your rights? Focus on the behavior, not the person. Be as specific as you can. Example: “I didn’t like it when you pushed me against my locker. I dropped my books and you kicked them across the hall”

E – Effect on Me

: Share the feelings you experienced as a result of the person’s behavior. Example: “It was embarrassing and I was late for class. I had to wait for the hall to clear before I could pick up my books”

R – Response

: Wait for a response from the other person. He or she might try to brush you off with “What’s the big deal?” or “Don’t be a baby” or “Can’t you take a joke?” or “So what?” Don’t let it bother you. On the other hand, the person might apologize.

T – Terms

: Suggest a solution to the problem. Example: “I want you to stop bothering me in the hall. If you don’t, I’ll report you to the teacher” The ASSERT Formula may seem awkward at first. Model, role play and reinforce this with your child.

Bringing Out the Best in Children: Tips for Parents

• Have regular home meetings with your child • Show an interest in your child and what they are doing on a regular basis • Make an effort to spend more positive time with your child • Monitor the TV your child watches • Reduce your child’s exposure to violence on TV, video games and computer games • Supervise your child’s whereabouts and activities • Involve your child in community activities • Utilize available community resources when needed

If Your Child is Bullying Others

• • • • • • • Talk with your child – your child may not be aware that their behavior is bullying Do not blame but make it clear that bullying is NOT okay Reassure your child that you still love them. It is the bullying behavior you do not like Talk with your child’s teachers and get the facts about their behavior Ask the teachers to keep you informed and communicate your efforts at home Work with the school to modify your child’s behavior Apply reasonable , age appropriate and developmentally appropriate consequences for bullying behavior – Removal of privileges – Time-outs (Take A Break) – Assigning extra chores

• • • • • •

If Your Child is Bullying Others

Talk with your child about how the bullying affects the victim Help your child learn and practice positive ways to handle anger, frustration and disappointment Model for your child how to handle those feelings Model how to appropriately respond to stop, walk or talk – Stop what you are doing – Take a deep breath and count to 3 – Go on with your day Good examples of responding to stop, walk, talk include – Responding appropriately even when you do not think you did anything wrong – Responding appropriately even if you think the other student is just trying to get you in trouble Praise your child’s efforts to change (try 5 positive comments for every negative comment)

Have You Filled a Bucket Today?

Thank You!

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Resource Table

References: Videos Bullying We’ll Stop It, Long Branch Middle School http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-X3Pu20w24 (4 minutes, 59 seconds) Books

Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids,

Carol McCloud (Northville, Michigan: Ferne Press, 2006)

The Bully Free Classroom,

Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. (Minneapolis, Minnesota: Free Spirit Publishing, 2005) Guides

Walk A Mile in Their Shoes: Bullying and the Child with Special Needs,

A Report and Guide from AbilityPath.org

Bullying Prevention in Positive Behavior Support,

Scott Ross, M.S., Rob Horner, Ph.D. and Bruce Stiller

http://www.pbis.org/common/pbisresources/tools/pbsbullyprevention.pdf