Transcript Essentials of Business Communication

Chapter 4
Revising and Proofreading
Business Messages
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-1
Revising and Proofreading

Revising:

Proofreading:
Improving content and
sentence structure. May
include adding, cutting,
changing.
Correcting grammar,
spelling, punctuation,
format, and mechanics.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-2
Concise Wording
Look for shorter ways to say what you mean.
Instead of this:
Try this:
We are of the opinion that
We think
Please feel free to
In addition to the above
At this point in time
Due to the fact that
Please
Also
Now
Because
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-3
Long Lead-Ins
Instead of this:
Try this:
This memo is to inform
you that all employees
meet today.
All employees meet
today.
I am writing this letter to
say thanks to everyone
who voted.
Thanks to everyone who
voted.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-4
Try Your Skill
Make the following sentence shorter and
avoid a long lead-in.
 This e-mail message is to inform you that in all
probability we will finish in two weeks.
We will probably finish in two weeks.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-5
Try Your Skill
Make the following sentence shorter and
avoid a long lead-in.
 There are many companies who are certain
that these products are absolutely safe.
Many companies are certain that these products
are absolutely safe.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-6
Redundant Words
Avoid repeating ideas when unnecessary. In
these examples, the word in italics is not needed.
adequate enough
new beginning
advance warning
past history
big in size
red in colour
each and every
repeat again
exactly identical
true facts
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-7
Jargon
Avoid technical terms and special terminology that
readers may not understand.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-8
Slang
Avoid slang (informal words with greatly
changed meanings).
totally awesome
chill/chill out
excellent
relax
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-9
Clichés
Avoid clichés (overused expressions) by using
clearer words.
Last but not least, you should
work together.
Finally, you should work
together.
The project was not a piece of
cake.
The project was not easy.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-10
Try Your Skill
Revise the following sentence to avoid
slang, clichés, and redundant words.
 Last but not least, the accountant repeated
again the true facts.
Finally, the accountant repeated the facts.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-11
Try Your Skill
Revise the following sentence to avoid
slang, clichés, and redundant words.
 Because of the advance warning, we made a
killing in the stock market .
Because of the warning, we were successful in
the stock market.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-12
Precise Verbs

Revise your writing to include precise verbs
instead of general ones.
Market researchers said that profits would improve.
What more precise verbs could replace said?
Market researchers forecasted improved profits.
Market researchers promised improved profits.
Market researchers predicted improved profits.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-13
Try Your Skill
Revise the following sentence using more
precise verbs.
 The seller said she would contact you.
The seller promised to e-mail [telephone or fax]
you.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-14
Concrete Nouns
Use specific, concrete nouns and not general,
abstract nouns.
The man asked for a raise.
Jeff Jones asked for a 10 percent salary increase.
An employee presented a proposal.
Kelly Keeler, production manager, presented a plan to
change working hours.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-15
Vivid Adjectives
Use descriptive, dynamic adjectives.
The report was good.
The report was persuasive (or detailed,
original, complete, comprehensive).
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Ch. 4-16
What to Watch for in
Proofreading
Spelling
Grammar
Punctuation
Names and numbers
Format
Consistency
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-17
How to Proofread Routine
Documents
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Print a copy, preferably double-spaced, and set
it aside.
Allow adequate time.
Be prepared to find errors.
Read once for meaning and once for
grammar/mechanics.
Reduce your reading speed.
Use standard proofreading marks.
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-18
End
Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Ch. 4-19