Transcript Showing v. Telling Sentences

Showing v. Telling Sentences
• Telling = A general fact, which often isn’t
particularly engaging, memorable, or
interesting on its own.
• Showing = Specific details that distinguish,
make the description more specific, unique,
and interesting.
– Showing develops an idea and often uses sensory
images (sight, smell, hear, taste, touch)
• Each of these sentences has two versions. One
version is too general and therefore lacks the
visual clarity that a reader needs to fully
understand what the writer is talking about.
The other version of the same sentence uses
specific details and makes the image the
writer is presenting much more vivid and
alive.
• Vague: She went home in a bad mood. [What
kind of a bad mood? How did she act or look?]
Specific: She stomped home, hands jammed in
her pockets, angrily kicking rocks, dogs, small
children, and anything else that crossed her
path.
• Vague: My neighbor bought a really nice old
desk. [Why nice? How old? What kind of
desk?]
Specific: My neighbor bought a solid oak, rolltop desk made in 1885 that contains a secret
drawer triggered by a hidden spring.
• Vague: He was an attractive man. [Attractive
in what ways - his appearance, personality, or
both? Can you picture him from reading this
sentence?]
Specific: He had Brad Pitt's eyes, Justin
Timberlake's smile, and Bill Gates's money.
Rewrite the vague sentences below using your
own specific details.
• My boyfriend/girlfriend acted like a jerk.
• She wears really strange outfits.
• The scenery in the mountains was beautiful.
• My roommate is very (in)considerate.
Homework
Rewrite these sentences to create 10 showing sentences.
1. The math test was killer.
2. My mother bugs me.
3. Those girls are snobs.
4. School is boring.
5. The pizza tasted good.
6. A students life is hard.
7. The puppy was a terror.
8. The streets were crowded.
9. The game was a close one.
10. The substitute teacher was strange.