Transcript Emotionally Focused Therapy - Connect

Mark Young, Ph.D.
Gonzaga University
WCA Nov. 14, 2009
EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED THERAPY:
RALLYING RESOURCES IN
COUPLES COUNSELING
Founder & Key Concepts
 Susan Johnson
 Leslie Greenberg
 EFT is collaborative combining Experimental
and Rogerian techniques with Structural
systemic interventions.
 EFT is based on clear, explicit
conceptualizations of relationship distress
and adult love.
 These conceptualizations are supported by
empirical research on the nature of marital
distress and adult attachment.
 Key moves and moments in the change
process have been mapped into nine steps
and three change events.
Goals of EFT
 To expand and re-organize key emotional
responses–the music of the attachment
dance.
 To create a shift in partners' interactional
positions and develop new cycles of
interaction.
 To foster the creation of a secure bond
between partners.
What is Attachment?
…the capacity to form and maintain healthy
emotional relationships which generally begin to
develop in early childhood
– Enduring bond with “special” person
– Security & safety within context of this
relationship
– Includes soothing, comfort, & pleasure
– Loss or threat of loss of special person
results in distress
10 Central Tenets
1. Attachment is an innate motivating force
2. Secure dependency complements
autonomy
3. Attachment offers a safe haven
4. Attachment offers a secure base
5. Accessibility and Responsiveness builds
bonds
10 Central Tenets
6. Fear and uncertainty activate attachment needs
7. The process of separation distress is predictable
8. Finite number of insecure forms of engagement
can be identified.
9. Attachment involves working models of self and
others
10. Isolation and loss are inherently traumatizing
View of distress in EFT
 Relationship distress is maintained by
absorbing negative affect.
 Affect reflects and primes rigid, constricted
patterns of interaction.
 Patterns make safe emotional engagement
difficult and create insecure bonding.
View of Distress
 Rigid repetitive interactional patterns:
 No exits – no detours/ repair impossible
 Rigid narrow positions – fight/flight/freeze
 Most common patterns
 Criticize, complain, express contempt
 Defend, distance, stonewall
Results: self reinforcing cycles or reactivity/self
protective strategies (individual safety first)
 Partners cannot attune to one another because
they are so absorbed in their own negative affect
 Cannot communicate because of their own state.
 Gottman 1979 – absorbing states of negative
affect: everything leads in, nothing leads out.
Research
 70 – 73% recovery rate in 10-12 sessions.
 Results stable – even under high stress.
 Depression significantly reduced.
 Variety of populations and settings.
 Best predictor of success – female faith in
partner’s caring (Not initial distress level).
Principles & Concepts
 Looks within at how partners construct their
emotional experience of relatedness
 Looks between at how partners engage each
other.
Focus of EFT: The 4 P’s
 Experiential
 Present
 Primary Affect
 Systemic
 Process (time)
 Positions / Patterns
 The counselor is a process consultant
4 P’s
 Present experience
 Deal with the past when it comes into the present
to validate client’s responses as it relates to how
they coped/survived
 When emotion is re-experienced it is now in the
present
 Focus is on current positions/patterns
 Don’t ask “why”, focus on what is.
4 P’s
 Primary emotions
 Validating and moving from secondary to primary
emotions
 Stay with emotions, create safe haven
 Organize the emotion of a past experience so that
client can engage in the here & now
Common Underlying Emotions of
the Withdrawers and Pursuers
 Rejected
 Hurt
 Inadequate
 Alone
 Afraid of failure
 Not wanted
 Overwhelmed
 Invisible
 Numb – frozen
 Isolated/disconnected
 Afraid – scared
 Not important
 Not wanted or desired
 Abandoned
 Judged, criticized
 Desperate
Emotion frequently leads to secondary emotional
responses – for example:
Anger often leads to:
Asserting, defending
Sadness often leads to:
Seeking support, withdrawing
Surprise/Excitement often leads to: Attending, exploring
Disgust/Shame often leads to:
Hiding, expelling, avoiding
Fear often leads to:
Fleeing, freezing, giving up
Joy often leads to:
Connecting, engaging
A. Primary Emotions are the deeper, more vulnerable
emotions such as sadness, hurt, fear, shame, and
loneliness.
B. Secondary Emotions are the more reactive emotions
such as anger, jealousy, resentment, and frustration.
They occur as a reaction to the primary emotions.
C. Primary emotions generally draw partners closer.
Secondary emotions tend to push partners away.
4 P’s
 Process patterns
 Look individually how each person is processing in
the moment
 “What happens…then what…then what”
 Positions
 The position each partner is taking in the
relationship
 Work to create new position & new patterns
Stages & Steps
 Stage 1: De-escalation
 Stage 2: Restructuring the Bond
 Stage 3: Consolidation
Stage 1: De-escalation
 Identify negative cycle / attachment issues
 Access underlying attachment emotions
 Frame problem – cycle, attachment
needs/fears
Stage 1: De-escalation
 Step 1: Identify the relational conflict issues
between partners. Creating an alliance &
delineating conflicts in core struggle.
 Step 2: Identify negative interaction cycle
 Step 3: Access unacknowledged emotions
underlying positions in cycle
 Step 4: Reframe problem in terms of the cycle,
underlying emotions, and attachment needs.
Stage 2: Restructuring the
Bond
 Access implicit needs, fears, models of self
 Promote acceptance of others – expand the
dance
 Structure emotional engagement – express
attachment needs
Stage 2: Restructuring the
Bond
 Step 5: Promote partner’s identification with
disowned attachment needs and aspects of
self – integrate into relationship interactions
 Step 6: Promote acceptance by each partner
of the other’s experience
 Step 7: Facilitate expression of needs/wants
to restructure interaction – create bonding
events
Stage 3: Consolidation
 New positions / cycles – enactments
 New stories – of problems and repair
 New solutions to pragmatic issues
Stage 3: Consolidation
 Step 8: Facilitate emergence of new solutions
to old problems
 Step 9: Consolidate new positions and cycles
of attachment behaviors
Skills for Emotional
Engagement
R-I-S-S-S-C
R: The therapist intentionally REPEATS key
words and phrases for emphasis.
I: Therapist uses IMAGES or word pictures that
evoke emotions more than abstract labels
tend to do.
S: Therapist frames responses to clients in
SIMPLE and concise phrases.
 R-I-S-S-S-C
S: Therapist will SLOW the process of the
session and the pace of her speech to enable
deepening of emotional experience
S: Therapist will use SOFT and soothing tone of
voice to encourage a client to deepen
experience.
C: Therapist uses CLIENT words and phrases in
a supportive/validating way.
Overview of Process
Develop an alliance, identify cycle, identify and
access underlying emotions, and work to deescalate
2. Engage the withdrawer
3. Soften the pursuer/blamer
4. Create new emotional bonding events and new
cycles of interaction
5. Consolidate new cycles of trust, connection and
safety, and apply them to old problems that may
still be relevant
1.
EFT.CA
www.ocfi.ca
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