Personal Statement

Transcript Personal Statement

Navigator Week 8:

Publishing Your Personal Statement

Welcome to Week 8!

Important Dates and Deadlines:

•Date #1 •Date #2

Last Week, We:

 Defined personal statement and evaluate examples     Reviewed the writing process Identified a guiding idea Wrote a first draft of our personal statement Uploaded a draft to CSNav (milestone)

This Week We Will:

 Add heartbeat to our personal statements  Add structure to our personal statements  Peer review our personal statements  Formally request letters of recommendation  Upload a final ps to CSNav (milestone)

Think It Through: What makes a story interesting to read?

“It feels good out here!” I couldn’t help but say it twice to my friends Chris, Mike, and Jay. We had been in the house since early evening playing John Madden football on Sega entertainment game system. We decided to make ham sandwiches and go sit out on the front porch. We went outside at around 10 o’clock with our food and some Pepsi to enjoy the nice, cool night. The time passed so quickly that what seemed an hour turned into three. Around 1:15 am we noticed a decline in the warm temperature so we decided to head inside for the night....”

From “I Am” by Dale Scott

“For as long as I can remember, fireworks have been an important part of my life. On nights of celebration, such as the Fourth of July and Cinco de Mayo, I would cross the long street from my neatly kept apartment building to the lush green park next door. The warm air carried the familiar smalls of late night barbecues and sounds of upbeat Spanish music. I loved to watch the clear dark sky burst into colorful flowers of light, dancing fearlessly as the music from the crowds below cheered them on. Even though the nights would end too soon, the fireworks would stay with me.

”

From “Firecracker” by Marcia Rodriguez

STEP 1: Differentiate between showing and telling

“I’m a hard worker.”

“Telling” your readers something can be boring, disengaging, and sound like bragging.

“The midday sun shined down on my back as sweat soaked into my cap. I raised the hammer and thought to myself, “One more nail, one more shingle, and this family will have a roof.”

“Showing” your readers what you mean is more interesting, more engaging, and helps your reader relate to you.

STEP 1: Differentiate between showing and telling

1990’s hair band, Extreme, said it best:

“More than words to show you feel / that your love for me is real…” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrIiLvg58SY 7

STEP 1: Differentiate between showing and telling the writing process

 Brainstorm to find a guiding idea  Write a first draft to express personal strengths

Revise to add heartbeat

Write a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth) draft Edit to fix mistakes Publish a final, polish draft

Heartbeat are all those words, phrases, and sentences that make your writing unique. It includes showing passages, metaphors, similes, and other figurative language.

STEP 2: Outline your personal statement Personal Statement Parts: Introduction Body Conclusion What to do:

 Grab the reader’s attention  Set the tone  Show your story  Use as many paragraphs as you need  Tie it all together  Leave the reader thinking

STEP 3: Discuss examples of effective and ineffective ways to share your story.

Introduction

Don’t know how to start? Think about your favorite movie or book. How does it begin? What happens in the first scene, or the first chapter?

GOOD IDEAS

 Start with the ending, then flashback to tell the whole story  Start with a voice-over from the narrator  Start with the most exciting moment, and explain it in detail. Then  flashback.

 Start with a series of images or pictures, then transition to the real story  Start with movement: walking in, walking out, running, jumping…

BAD IDEAS

 Introduce yourself  Be childish or immature  Use a cliché  Be too obvious  Tell, not show

STEP 3: Discuss examples of effective and ineffective ways to share your story.

Conclusion

Don’t know how to start? Think about your favorite movie or book. How does it end? What happens in the last scene, or the last chapter?

GOOD IDEAS

 Leave it open for a sequel.

 Return to where you started.

  Ask a provocative question (just make sure it isn’t so far removed from your guiding idea that it doesn’t make sense with the rest of the personal statement).

Suggest outcomes, results, or consequences.

 Refer to the opening paragraph (the hook) by using parallel images and thoughts or key words.

BAD IDEAS

 Be childish or immature  Use a cliché  Be too obvious  Tell, not show

STEP 4: Write a second draft of your personal statement, focusing on flow and structure.

STEP 5: Work with your peers to revise and edit your personal statement.

the writing process

 Brainstorm to find a guiding idea  Write a first draft to express personal strengths  Revise to add heartbeat

Write a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth) draft

Edit to fix mistakes Publish a final, polish draft

STEP 5: Work with your peers to revise and edit your personal statement.

Editing checklist Format

❏ 2 –2½ pages (approximately) ❏ 12-point font size ❏ ❏ ❏ ❏ 1.5 or double-spaced lines Times New Roman font style Pages numbered Your name (first and last) on each page in header or footer

Mechanics

❏ Spell check ❏ Capitalization check ❏ ❏ Grammar check Punctuation check

the writing process

 Brainstorm to find a guiding idea  Write a first draft to express personal strengths  Revise to add heartbeat  Write a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth) draft

Edit to fix mistakes Publish a final, polish draft 13

STEP 6: Request Letters of Recommendation from two to three references 14

Week 8 Summary

This Week We:

 Add heartbeat to our personal statements  Add structure to our personal statements  Peer review our personal statements  Formally request letters of recommendation  Upload a final ps to CSNav (milestone)

Unit 2 Check-In:

By the end of Unit 2, you should have completed:  A resume  A personal statement  Requested 3 letters of recommendation Are you: Ahead of the game On track A Little Behind Off track What can you do to improve?

CSNav How-to: Personal Statement Milestone

Microsoft Word

First, type your personal statement in Microsoft Word, or another editor.

Save your personal statement, and remember where you saved it.

Quick Links: Personal Statement

Logon to CSNav to upload a draft of your personal statement.

Your Portfolio > Your Profile >How You See Yourself

The Quick Link takes you here.

Click on “Upload a final personal statement.

Be sure to click “Upload and save” to get your checkmark!

Click “Browse” to open a pop-up window

Upload a draft personal statement

Find your document and click “Open” 20

Your Profile > How You See Yourself > My Personal Statement

After you click “Upload and Save,” you will see the name of your document here.

You will now receive a checkmark for the milestone.

Your Planning Milestones

To see your checkmark, go back to “Home” by clicking on the icon on the top of the page.

Then, click “Your Planning Milestones” to see your checkmarks.