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Final Exam – Study Guide Interpersonal Communication The (transactional) process through which people create and manage their relationships, exercising mutual responsibility in creating meaning. 2 Functions of Interpersonal Communication 1. Meet our social needs 2. Maintain our sense of self 3. Fulfill social obligations 4. Exchange information 5. Influence others 6. Get and improve our jobs 3 Context Sending Channel Context Noise 2-Encoder 3-Meaning Decoder Noise Decoder Meaning Encoder Noise Sender Context Feedback Channel Receiver Context V/ V, p 9. 4 Context – the setting Physical – where communication takes place, the environment, the distance between participants, seating, time of day Social – the nature of the relationship Historical – the background of previous communication Psychological – the moods and feelings Cultural – the set of beliefs, values, and norms that are shared by a large group of people 5 Principles of Interpersonal Communication (pps., 9-12) Is Is Is Is purposeful continuous Transactional relational (Messages vary in conscious encoding) ◦ Symmetrical or Complementary Is Irreversible Has ethical implications Is learned 6 Perception The process of selectively attending to sensory information and assigning meaning to it. (pg. 30) Our perception becomes our reality. 7 Three psychological factors that influence attending/selection: 1. Our needs 2. Our interests 3. Our expectations 8 Prejudice – a preconceived judgment, belief or opinion that a person holds without sufficient grounds ( + or - ) Discrimination – treating members of one group differently from members of another in a way that is unfair or harmful Racism, Sexism, Ageism, Able-ism – belief that the behaviors or characteristics of one group are inherently superior to those of another 9 Johari Window – Jo Luft & Harry Ingham Not known Known to self to self Known to others Not known to others Open Blind Secret Unknown W, p. 271; V / V, p. 76 10 Dialectic “Any systematic reasoning process that juxtaposes opposed or contradictory ideas, seeking to resolve their conflict” ◦ Yin-Yang Relational Dialectics Contradictory pulls in relationships. Relational Dialectics (3) Autonomy/Connection I need my own space. I want to be close. Novelty/Predictability We need to do I like the familiar something new. rhythms we have. Openness/Closedness I like sharing so There are some much with you. things I don’t want to talk about. 12 Managing Dialectical Tensions Temporal Selection – selecting one side of a dialectical contradiction for a period of time, ie. for a time suspend a side for the other. Topical segmentation – separating situations as a way of managing dialectical tension, ie. treat topics differently. Neutralization – compromising to partially satisfy needs, ie. find a middle of the road. Reframing – putting less emphasis on the dialectical tension, ie. change your view on the differences. Relationship Theories IP Needs Theory ◦ ◦ Psych. Wm. Schutz Whether or not a relationship is started, built, or maintained depends on meeting each other’s IP Needs. 3 basic IP Needs: Affection • Underpersonal – Overpersonal - Personal Inclusion • Undersocial – Oversocial - Social Control • Abdicrats – Autocrats - democrat Relationship Theories – con’t. Exchange Theory ◦ Psych. Thibaut & Kelley Relationships can be understood in terms of the exchange of rewards & costs that take place during the IP relationship. Rewards Costs • Outcomes that are valued by a person • Outcomes that a person does not wish to occur • Comparison Level of Alternatives Managing Dialectical Tensions Temporal selection – selecting one side to support Topical segmentation – separating Neutralization – compromising Reframing – taking a fresh approach – change your perceptions. 16 Language Communities (Speech Communities) Words are symbols that have understood meaning to the people in a language community. Words are Symbols Arbitrary Ambiguous Abstract Denotative Connotative The dictionary definition The emotions linked to a word Three Language Theories Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis Symbolic Interactionism Coordinated Management of Meaning Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis The structure of a culture’s language determines how people think in that culture. ◦ Language defines the way a person behaves and thinks – You are restricted by your vocabulary. ◦ Language is not simply a way of voicing ideas, but is the very thing which shapes our reality. Language and Meaning pg 87 Symbolic Interactionism is a theory that claims the meaning of words is a product of social interaction. Whatever meaning a person has for a thing is a result of interactions with others about the thing, ie. the value of gold, diamonds or flowers. People act toward things based on the meaning those things have for them, ie. flag burning. Language and Meaning, con’t pg 87 Coordinated management of meaning is a theory that demonstrates how people come to any agreement on the meaning of language and behavior. This says that one individual may subtly propose enacting a certain type of communication, but only when the other person accepts that proposal that the exchange and the rules been agreed upon that the meaning becomes coordinated - , i.e. “flirting.” Understanding Cultural Dialectics that help us understand differences in connotation Individual Collective Low uncertainty avoidance Low-context High uncertainty avoidance High-context Masculine Feminine Low powerdistance High powerdistance. Individual Collective Individual goals are emphasized more than group goals Group goals are emphasized more than individual goals Low uncertainty avoidance High uncertainty avoidance Accept uncertainty and are tolerant of differing behavior Provide security and reduce risk - have little tolerance for deviant behavior Low-context High-context Messages are very direct Messages are indirect – expect others to know how they’re feeling. Masculine Feminine Cultures that expect people to maintain rigid sex roles Cultures that allow both men and women to take different roles Low powerdistance High powerdistance Cultures in which inequalities are played down Cultures in which people show respect for authority emphasizing titles, rank, and status. Individual Low uncertainty Avoidance (Tolerant) Low-context (Direct – say what we mean) Masculine (rigid sex defined) Low powerdistance (downplay social distances) United States Gender Differences in Language Differences between men’s speech and women’s speech are gender based. Women tend to use more intensifiers and hedges than men. Women ask questions more frequently than men. Language Skills 1. Be specific in word choice 2. Use concrete words 3. Date generalizations 4. Qualify (index) generalizations & avoid Marking Strategic Ambiguity When a speaker chooses to use vague language when interacting with another person. Example, teenagers frequently choose to be more clear, specific, and definite when revealing information to peers than to parents. This serves to preserve family harmony and advances the teen’s natural drive toward independence. (Sillars, 1998) Microsoft Photo Women tend to engage in “rapport talk” to share experiences and establish bonds. 31 Microsoft Photo Men tend to engage in “report talk” to share information, negotiate, and preserve independence. 32 Verbal Nonverbal Communication Communication The words we use Actions, vocal qualities, and activities that typically accompany a verbal message 33 of emotional meaning of messages is nonverbal. Mehrabian (1972) Affective Ambiguous Continuous Multi-channeled 36 Substitute Complement Contradict Verbal Communication 37 When nonverbal and verbal contradict, we tend to accept the nonverbal inference. 38 Women MEN Talk more about music, current events, sports, business and other men. Report Talk: Talk to accomplish the job at hand rather than nurture the relationship Less likely to disclose vulnerability- sign of weakness More prone to dominate conversation- leads to power Talk competitive and men interrupt more often than women Assert control Men swear more Talk more about personal and domestic subjects, relationship problems, family, health, food, weight, clothing, men & women More likely to gossip Rapport Talk: Talk is the essence of relationships empathy/nurture Ask more questions to invite the other person to share info Maintain harmony Use powerless speech more often (history, career, upbringing) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Emblems Illustrators Regulators Affect display Adaptors 40 Controls: Intensify – exaggerate our facial expressions to fit the situation, i.e. smiling at a wedding. Deintensify – when we want to control or subdue an expression, when you found out you got into law school and your friend did not. Neutralize – avoid showing any facial expressions to appear neutral, i.e. judges at a gymnastic event. Masking – when you want to conceal our real emotion, i.e. when your significant other buys something and you want to conceal your anger by looking excited. 41 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Facial expression and eye contact Kinesics (body motion) Proxemics and personal space Artifacts Touch (haptics) Paralanguage Chronemics (time) Physical characteristics 42 Vocal communication minus the words Pitch Volume Rate Quality 43 Time Using time to communicate - “Time talks” Last minute invitations • Habitual tardiness • Allocation of certain activities to appropriate times • Structure time differently • Perception is different culturally • Intimate distance, up to 18”, is appropriate for private conversations between close friends. Personal distance, from 18”- 4’, is the space in which casual conversation occurs. Social distance, from 4’ – 12’, is where impersonal business such as job interviews is conducted. Public distance is anything more than 12’ 45 Conversations A locally managed sequential interchange of thoughts and feelings between two or more people. Interactive and extemporaneous. Microsoft Photo 46 Casual Social Conversations Spontaneous interactions between people, with no planned agenda Pragmatic ProblemConsideration Conversations Conversational episodes in which at least one participant has a communication goal 47 Pragmatic Problem-Consideration Conversations 1. Greeting and small talk 2. Topic introduction and statement of need for discussion 3. Information exchange and processing 4. Summarizing decisions and clarifying next steps Skipping a stage may provide less satisfaction 5. Formal closing 48 Characteristics of Conversations 1. Formality – degree to which the conversation must follow rules, procedures or rituals. 2. Turn-Taking – alternating between speaker & listener. a. Speaker can decide who’s next b. Nonverbally signaling our desire to go next c. We can self-select to go next by talking next d. We can interrupt 3. Topic Change – method by which people introduce new topics 4. Talk Time – fair sharing of speaking time 5. Scriptedness – common conversations that happen so often they are routine, as if to follow a script (co-narration). 6. Conversational Audience – who’s conversing & eavesdropping. Conversation Maxims Quality Quantity Relevancy Truthful information Not too much or too little Related to the topic Manner Morality Politeness Specific, Meet organized, and moral/ethical understandable Be courteous guidelines 50 The Effective Conversationalist 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Presents quality information. Provides free information to enable others to talk. Ask questions that are likely to motivate responses. Credits sources. Practices turn-taking. Maintains conversational coherence. Practices politeness. 51 Listening makes up 42-60% of our communication. Speaking Writing Reading Listening 52 Hearing A physiological activity that occurs when sound waves hit our eardrums 53 Listening vs. Hearing Hearing- physical process; natural; passive Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill Listening is hard! You must choose to participate in the process of listening. Listening involves: Attending Understanding Remembering Evaluating Responding A–U–R–E–R 55 Mnemonics A technique used to aid memory – take the first letter of a list you are trying to remember and create a word HOMES (the five Great Lakes) Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior A–U–R–E–R 56 57 Empathy is the process of identifying with the feelings of others. 58 Approaches to Empathy Empathic Responsiveness – taking on an emotional parallel response of another, feeling “same” the emotion – sharing the emotion Perspective Taking – imagining yourself in place of another Sympathetic Responsiveness – feeling of concern, compassion or sorrow for another’s situation – “emotional concern” or sympathy – feeling a somewhat different, yet similar emotion 59 Paraphrasing (perception check) Put your understanding of a message into words to clarify meaning. Content – conveys understanding of the denotative meaning Feeling – conveys your understanding of the speaker’s connotative meaning 60 Effective Support Messages Steps (research by Brant Burleson, Purdue University) Show your intention to help. Provide acceptance and positive regard. Express situation interest. Show empathy and understanding. Make yourself available. Be an ally. Feedback Self-disclosure Verbal and physical responses to people and/or their messages Sharing biographical data, personal ideas and feelings that are unknown to the other person ◦ Opening up the “Secret” Johari Window to another. 61 Appropriate Self-disclosure Order Chronologically: Move self-disclosure to deeper levels gradually. Continue intimate self-disclosure only if it is reciprocated. Self-disclose the kind of information you want others to disclose to you Reserve intimate or very personal selfdisclosure for ongoing relationships Self-disclose more intimate information only when you believe the disclosure represents an acceptable risk 62 Reciprocal self-disclosure has the greatest positive effects. 63 Giving Constructive Criticism Describe the behavior by accurately recounting precisely what was said or done, without labeling the behavior good or bad, right or wrong. Preface a negative statement with a positive one whenever possible. Be as specific as possible. When appropriate, suggest how the person can change the behavior. 64 How to Get Good Feedback Specify the kind of criticism you are seeking. Don’t act negatively to the criticism. Paraphrase what you hear. Give reinforcement to those who take your requests for criticism as honest requests. Thank them! 65