Transcript Slide 1

Cohesion and Flow:
Bringing Your Paper Together
Rachel Grammer
Writing Tutor
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Session Overview
• Importance of cohesion and flow
• Techniques, tools, and language to use
– Focusing ideas
– Thesis development
– Outlining
• Tips for evaluating your own work
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Housekeeping Issues
Questions
Recording: http://writingcenter.waldenu.edu/26.htm
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What are cohesion and flow?
From Merriam-Webster’s Online:
• Cohesion: “the act or state of sticking
together tightly”
• Flow: “a smooth uninterrupted movement
or progress”
– In academic writing, this means writing a
focused work (“sticking together”) that
progresses naturally from idea to idea (“smooth
movement”).
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Why do they matter?
As an academic writer, you want to create a
paper that is
• easy to understand,
• logically ordered, and
• enjoyable to read.
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Example Paragraph #1
I went to the market. I got a bunch of apples. I went to
the park. I like birds. Birds eat worms and sometimes
berries. There are many different types of birds like
blue jays, hawks, and pigeons. I like to feed pigeons
and sit down. My back hurt. I go to the doctor.
Problems
What is the focus?
→ Is it the market? The park? Birds?
Short, clunky sentences
No relationship between sentences/events
Verb tense shifts
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Revised Example Paragraph #1
I had a rather eventful day. First, I went to the market,
where I picked up a bunch of fresh apples. Next, I
walked to the park and sat down on a bench to feed the
pigeons. When I stood up again, my back began to
hurt, so I took a cab to the doctor’s office.
Solutions
Establish topic/focus of paragraph
Use time cues as transitions
Vary sentence structure and length
Eliminate unnecessary information (birds)
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Example Paragraph #2
Cook (2010) supported the idea of differentiated
instruction. Jones (2007) stated that students work best
by rote memorization. Educators should focus on teaching
to the individual needs and abilities of their students. Some
students will slip through the cracks. Applying varied
strategies in the classroom helps “encourage each
student’s potential without the need for traditional
intervention” (Nygaard, 2010, p. 64).
Problems
Buried topic sentence
No relationship between researchers’ ideas
Casual language
No closing sentence
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Revised Example Paragraph #2
Educators should focus on teaching to the individual needs and
abilities of their students. Cook (2010), for instance, supported the
idea of differentiated instruction. Though Jones (2007) stated that
students work best by rote memorization, recent research has shown
that some students do not respond well to this style of teaching.
Instead, teachers need to apply varied strategies in the classroom to
help “encourage each student’s potential without the need for
traditional intervention” (Nygaard, 2010, p. 64). Such strategies meet
each student’s individual learning style and pair low achievers with
high achievers to promote sharing and collaboration.
Solutions
Move topic sentence to first position
Include transitional expressions
Maintain formal scholarly voice
Close idea of paragraph and hint at the next idea
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Before you write...
• …focus your thoughts,
• determine your thesis, and
• outline your paper
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Focus Your Thoughts
Read
carefully
Take notes
Determine
purpose
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Determine
particulars
Determine
strongest
ideas
Constructing Your Thesis
Thesis: “a position or proposition that a
person…advances and offers to maintain by
argument” (Merriam-Webster, 2011)
• Examine your ideas or notes to discover
what they collectively suggest.
• This suggestion will inform your thesis.
Sample: The SAT test’s cultural insensitivity contributes to low
scores among male minority students.
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Constructing Your Thesis: Example
Prompt
Discussion post question: “Should colleges
admit female minority students with lower
SAT scores than their peers who belong to
the majority?” Providing two clear reasons,
explain why or why not.
Sample Position: The SAT test’s cultural insensitivity contributes to low
scores among female minority students
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Constructing Your Thesis: Example Notes
• SAT questions have been skewed toward experience of middle class
white Americans (Hykerman, 2009).
– Sample SAT question that highlights this claim.
• A larger percentage of minority students are in a position of low
socioeconomic status and, as a result, cannot afford the same SAT prep
programs as many within the majority (Smith, 2012).
– Statistical example (over x percent of minority students taking SAT
are below poverty line.)
•
Recent statistics reveal that the SAT is a less accurate indicator of
female collegiate success than grade point average and extracurricular
activities (Snyder, 2012)
– Statistics concerning relationship of GPA and success, etc.
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Constructing Your Thesis: Example Thesis
• “Because current SAT questions are skewed
to reflect white, middle class life experience
and are often an inaccurate indicator of
academic success, colleges should admit
female minority students with lower SAT
scores than their peers who belong to the
social majority.”
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Constructing Your Thesis
• Use this thesis to focus the text and guide
organization.
• You’ll need to effectively prove the argument
through examination of research.
Anything that doesn’t work toward the
thesis doesn’t belong in the paper.
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Outlining Your Paper
• Offers visual representation of your paper
• Allows you to map out the progression of
your argument
• Order by major elements: Introduction,
body of the paper, and conclusion
• Use headings to organize body
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Outline
Thesis
Main points
Evidence
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Outlining Your Paper
•
•
•
•
•
Introduction
– Background and Definitions
– Thesis
Impact on Student Achievement
– Subtopic A
– Subtopic B
Impact on Teachers and
Curriculum
– Subtopic C
– Subtopic D
Counterarguments
– Subtopic E
– Subtopic F
Conclusion
– Restatement of thesis
– Interesting thought
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Provide context and
establish argument
Subtopics expand on the
general topic of the heading
Provide closure,
ensure cohesion!
As you write...
• ...focus on local elements of your paper
that will create cohesion:
– Paragraph structure and organization
– Use of transitions
– Language choices
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Paragraphing
• A paper is a collection of paragraphs
– Be strategic when creating paragraphs
• Categorize information
• Support with evidence
– Create a funnel shape for each paragraph
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MEAL Plan
Main Idea
Evidence
Analysis
Lead Out
• http://writingcenter.waldenu.edu/900.htm
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Paragraph Structure
1. What you put in the top of
the funnel must relate to what
comes before it. Use this
opening sentence to introduce
an idea, like a miniature thesis
for the paragraph.
2. Follow your topic sentence
with scholarly support and
start to narrow the topic with
this evidence.
4. What comes out of the funnel
should conclude the topic of
that paragraph and lead into
the next.
3. Analyze your evidence to
narrow your topic even more
and contextualize it within that
paragraph.
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Paragraph Connections
• How do the paragraphs relate?
– Add onto the previous one?
– Contradict the previous paragraph’s
argument?
– Conclude an entire section of paragraphs?
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Types of Transitions
Relationship
Term/Phrase
Addition
Also, moreover, furthermore, besides,
first/second/third/etc., too
Concession
However, in spite of, nevertheless
Causation
Hence, accordingly, consequently,
because of, therefore
Summation
Altogether, finally, in conclusion, hence,
consequently
For a comprehensive list of transitional terms, make sure to check out:
http://writingcenter.waldenu.edu/js/502.htm
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Transitions Between Paragraphs
• Note the relationship between two or more
paragraphs
... Jones (2009) confirmed that the store manager had no
future plans to provide apples to his patrons.
While apples were no longer available, oranges were still
an option at Market X. They are not as popular of a fruit,
according to...
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Transitions Within Paragraphs
• Note relationships between sentences
within a paragraph
Without a transition:
Jones (2009) found that pigeons were dirty animals.
Fillmore (2006) stated that pigeons made great pets.
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Transitions Within Paragraphs
With a transition:
Chronological:
Jones (2009) found that pigeons were dirty animals. Previously,
Fillmore (2006) stated that pigeons made great pets.
Contradictory:
Jones (2009) found that pigeons were dirty animals. On the other
hand, Fillmore (2006) stated that pigeons made great pets.
Concession:
Jones (2009) found that pigeons were dirty animals. Nevertheless,
Fillmore (2006) stated that pigeons made great pets.
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Transition Tips
• Do not overuse transitions, either in word
choice or frequency
Additionally, the author found....Also, he
discovered....Furthermore, the study noted...Moreover, the
results displayed...Finally, the article...
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Language and Word Choice
• Importance of consistent language
– Papers with multiple authors
– Longer documents written sporadically
• Avoid intensifiers, colloquialisms, and
clichés
• Links to scholarly writing handouts:
http://writingcenter.waldenu.edu/js/798.htm
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After you write...
...how do you know
if it flows?
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After you write...
• Reading aloud
– Halts/stops
– Audience reactions
• Reviewing visually
– Balance
• Use of headings
• Paragraph/section length
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In review…
1. Prewriting for cohesion and flow
2. Focusing one’s thoughts
3. Writing a clear thesis
4. Organizing a draft
5. Writing “funnel shaped” paragraphs
6. Using transitions effectively
7. Using consistent language
8. Reading aloud
9. Revising visually
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