Transcript Effective Communications: The Ultimate Leadership Skill

Rev. Jamie Washington, Ph.D.
President, The Washington Consulting Group
Founder, Social Justice Training Institute
Co-Pastor Unity Fellowship Church of Baltimore
www.washingtonconsultinggroup.net
www.sjti.org
• To create a space for deeper levels of
authentic conversations about the
intersections of Religion and Sexualities.
• To identify and examine the blockers and
communication stoppers in this conversation.
• To offer strategies for engaging people with
differing perspectives and beliefs, with the
intention of building more inclusive campus
communities and gain deeper understanding.
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Foundation for Engagement
Context
Content
Race
Christianity
Sexuality
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Getting Started
• What brings you to this
session and how are
you feeling about being
here?
• What do you see as you
look around campus
and your community,
that makes this session
necessary?
• Hopes for our time
together…
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• Creating a Learning
Environment
• Engaging the “Barriers
to Understanding”
• The Fundamentals:
Tips for continued
engagement and
learning.
• Next Steps
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Learning Community Agreements
• Open and Honest Communication
• All perspectives are valid and welcome
• Speak from personal experience: use “I” statement to
share thoughts and feeling
• Listen respectfully
• Open to New Perspectives
• Take Risk, Say the Unsaid
• Trust that dialogue will take us to deeper levels of
understanding and acceptance.
• Hang in There and Have Fun
• Others…
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Barriers to Understanding
• The Cycle of
Socialization/Oppression
• Knowledge of Sexualities
• Individual “Faith” Journey
• Relationship to, and
Knowledge/Understanding
of the Bible
• Lack of authentic
relationships with LGBTQ…,
People of “Faith”
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Cycle of Socialization/Oppression
BORN
into society
Things Already Set
Actions
• Don’t make waves
• Promote status quo
• Change is bad
CORE
Results In:
 Dissonance
• Silence, Guilt, Anger, Self Hatred
• Dehumanization, Lack of Reality
• Collusion/ignorance
• Internalized Oppression/Dominance
•Horizontal Violence and Hostility
Confusion
Hurt
Anger
Fear
Internalization/enforcements
• Sanctions/stigma
• Human difference = negative
• Rewards and punishments for behavior
• Conscious/unconscious beliefs/attitudes
First socialization
• Expectations
• History/traditions
•Stereotypes, Myths,
• Missing Information/
• Bias History
• Norms/habits
• Values/dreams
• Roles/responsibilities
Institutional and cultural
• Family and friends
• Schools, teachers, books
• Religious institutions
• Media
• Government/legal system
• Cultural “Standards”
From Readings for Diversity and Social Justice.
The Cycle of Socialization, by Bobbie Harro (2000)
Our Journey With Sexuality
• What are your earliest memories
about sexuality?
• How was it discussed in your home?
• What messages did you get from
your community, family, school,
religious/spiritual practices about
sexuality?
• Are you currently a part of a
religious or faith community?
– If so, what is its position on
LGBTQAP…
– If not, and you desire to be, what’s in
the way?
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Components of Sexuality 2014
• Biology, Physiology (Male, Female, Inter Sex)
• Gender (Socially Constructed sex roles that can and have changed over time.
Masculine, Feminine, Androgynous )
• Gender/Bio/Physio/Psychological Expression &
Identity Congruence (Ones since of comfort and congruency in mind, body
and spirit. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, Gender Queer, Gender Variant Gender
Normative, Cisgender)
• Sexual Orientation (Ones capacity to connect on spiritual, psychological,
physical, emotion and romantic levels,. Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Queer, SGL, Heterosexual,
Pansexual, and Asexual…)(Kinsey 0-6)
• Sexual Behavior(Who one has sex with or not)
• How you see and name yourself
• How others see and name you
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• As a child, issues of religion/spirituality were…
• I identify as_____ on the issue of religion/spirituality.
• On a scale of 1-10, (1=low-10=high) I would say that the role
religion/spirituality plays in my life is… What that means for
me is…
• My experience with issues of sexuality and my “faith” has
been….
• What I struggle most with in this conversation is…
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Find Someone Who…
S.H.O.U.T.
Someone with a
Tattoo
Someone who
enjoys lobster
A mother who works
outside of the home
Someone who’s
been to a fortune
teller at least once
in their life
FREE SPACE
A person of Color
Someone who has
had ham in the past
year
Someone wearing a
cotton/wool blend
Someone who
wouldn’t mind
trading houses with
their neighbor
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Find Someone Who…
S.H.O.U.T.
Someone with a
Tattoo
Leviticus 19:20
Someone who
enjoys lobster
Someone who’s
been to a fortune
teller at least once in
their life
Someone who has
had ham in the past
year
Deuteronomy 18:10-12
Leviticus 11:7-8
FREE SPACE
Someone wearing a
cotton/wool blend
Leviticus 11
Deuteronomy 22:11
A mother who works
outside of the home
Someone who
wouldn’t mind
trading houses with
their neighbor
Titus 2:3-4
Proverbs 31: 11, 16,18,
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A person of Color
Genesis 9:20-27
Exodus 20:17
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The BIBLE and You
• What is your relationship
with the bible?
• What do you believe is the
purpose of the bible?
• What do you believe the
bible is and isn’t?
– How did you come to believe
that?
– How do you believe it came
to be?
• How does your relationship
with the bible inform/impact
this conversation?
What is the Bible
• A library of writings that was written by dozens of
authors gathered over many centuries and made sacred
by those in power in the Christian church.
• It has been translated but hundreds of scholars and
interpreted by thousands.
• Each of them brought their own experience,
understanding, and bias.
• It is to be taken seriously, but not literally.
• A resource for making meaning of life and a potential
avenue for accessing “God”.
• Has been used as a primary resource to support
oppression of many populations.
• Has been used as a primary resource of Liberation for
oppressed populations.
• THE BIBLE IS NOT “GOD”
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The Dangerous Dynamics of Religious
Fundamentalism
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Engaging Religious Fundamentalism
And Sexuality
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Examine, Explore Engage
Christianity and Sexualities
•
•
What do you believe about the bible?
Is there anything in the Bible you don’t
agree with?
– If so, how do you reconcile those issues?
•
•
•
•
•
•
Why do you think this topic didn’t
make the Big 10?
Is there any other part of creation
where there is not diversity?
What would it take for you to believe
that God created and accepts and
honors all expressions of sexual
orientation?
What did Jesus say about
homosexuality?
WWJD
If you were having a stroke and your
doctor pulled out a book from the
1800s to treat you, what would you
do?
•
•
•
•
•
•
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When did you decide to be heterosexual?
Can you choose to be Gay/Lesbian?
Do you think your heterosexuality is a
phase? Did you know who you were
attracted to as a teenager?
Did anyone have to teach you to be
attracted to men/women?
Do you think it make sense that “God”
gave Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals a choice
and not heterosexuals?
Do you believe that the only reason God
gave us sexual desire is for procreation?
If your religious leader said, we’ve got it all
wrong, God revealed that we should all
live celibate lives after our children are
born, How would you respond?
Others…
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The Fundamentals
• Seek guidance from your “source”.
• Get clear about your intentions and needs.
– Do you need to be right or heard?
• Meet people where they are, and be with them there.
• Get Curious; Ask Questions, Explore.
• Pay attention to other identities, yours and those you are
engaging.
• Share Your Truth, Understanding, and Journey.
– Felt
– Found
– Feel
• Avoid the 3 Cs: Convincing, Converting, Convicting.
• Stay ENGAGED and Connected
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Resources for Further Development
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•
Readings
The following books are helpful in better understanding
the debate about the Bible and homosexuality:
• Blessed Bi Spirit: Bisexual People of Faith, edited by
Debra R. Kolodny (Continuum, 2000);
• Freedom, Glorious Freedom: The Spiritual Journey to
the Fullness of Life for Gays, Lesbians, and Everybody
Else, by John J. McNeill (Beacon Press, 1995);
• The Good Book: Reading the Bible with Mind and
Heart, by Peter J. Gomes (William Morrow and Company
Inc., 1996);
• Is The Homosexual My Neighbor?: Another Christian
View (Revised) by Letha Scanzoni and Virginia Ramey
Mollenkott (Harper & Row Publishers, 1996);
• The New Testament and Homosexuality: Contextual
Background and Contemporary Debate by Robin Scroggs
(Fortress Press, 1983);
• Our Passion for Justice: Images of Power, Sexuality,
and Liberation by Carter Heyward (The Pilgrim Press,
1984);
• Recognizing Ourselves: Ceremonies of Lesbian and
Gay Commitment by Ellen Lewin (Columbia University
Press, 1998);
• Stranger At The Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in
America by Mel White (Plume, 1994);
• Twice Blessed: On Being Lesbian, gay and Jewish
edited by Christie Balka and Andy Rose, (Beacon Press,
1989); and
• What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality by
Daniel A. Helminiak, Ph.D. (Alamo Square Press, 1994).
Websites:
www.manyvoices.org
www.gaychurch.org
www.gaychristian.org
www.beliefnet.com
www.bible.com
www.blueletterbible.org
www.Rbc.org/odb/odb.shtml
www.christianserver.net/bible/home
.html
Your ministerial staff is at your
service for questions and
support: Be Encouraged and
Grow
Rev. Jamie Washington, M.Div.,Ph.D.
President, Washington Consulting Group
Founding Faculty, Social Justice Training Institute
Assistant Pastor , Unity Fellowship Church of Baltimore
410 655 9556
[email protected]
www.washingtonconsultinggroup.net
www.sjti.org
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