Crucial Conversations based on the book by: By Kerry
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Transcript Crucial Conversations based on the book by: By Kerry
Crucial Conversations
based on the book by:
By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny,
Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
Geraldine Roberts-Moore
Wendy Zdeb
Rochester Community Schools
Crucial Conversations
What
makes a conversation “crucial” vs.
typical?
First, opinions vary
Second, the stakes are high
Third, emotions run strong
Crucial Conversations
How
do we typically handle crucial
conversations:
We can avoid them
We can face them and handle them poorly
We can face them and handle them well
Crucial Conversations
Why
don’t crucial conversations tend to go
well?
Emotions tend to rule
Your body physically reacts
We are under pressure
We are stumped
We act in self defeating ways
Crucial Conversations
“Common”
Crucial Conversations
Ending a relationship
Asking a friend to repay a loan
Giving the boss feedback about her behavior
Critiquing a colleague’s work
Talking to a team member who isn’t keeping
commitments
Talking to a colleague who is hoarding
information or resources
Crucial Conversations
Why
it is important to master crucial
conversation skills:
Kick Start Your Career
Improve Your Organization
Improve Your Relationships
Revitalize Your Community
Improve Your Personal Health
Crucial Conversations
There
are 8 Principles and Skills
See your chart in the handouts
Review the Law of Crucial Conversations
graphic
Get Unstuck
Spot
the conversations that are keeping
you stuck
Hold
CPR
the right crucial conversation with
Get Unstuck
Partner Discussion:
What conversations am I not holding or
not holding well?
Share an example of a conversation which is
long overdue.
Am
I holding the right crucial
conversations?
Start with Heart
Work
on me first
Focus
on what you really want
Refuse
the Sucker’s Choice
Start with Heart
Activity: Watch Video Clip, “The Apology”
https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
What
do I really want?
Am I behaving in ways that move me
toward what I want?
Am I making Sucker’s Choices?
Learn to Look
Look
for when a conversation becomes
crucial
Look for silence and violence
Learn to look for your own Style Under
Stress
Activity: Watch video clips/ label
https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
Learn to Look
Am
Am
I noticing signs that safety is at risk?
I moving to my Style Under Pressure?
Activity: Take a few minutes to complete the
survey independently.
- The survey can be submitted/scored
on the VitalSmarts website.
Make It Safe
Apologize
Contrast
Create
when appropriate
to fix misunderstandings
Mutual Purpose
Make It Safe
Have
I established Mutual Purpose?
Have I maintained respect?
Activity:
Watch video clip. Share an
example of how we can “make it safe” for
our staff members.
https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
Master My Stories
Separate
Watch
facts from stories
for three clever stories
Victim, Villain and Helpless
Tell
the rest of the story
Master My Stories
Am I pretending not to notice my role in the
problem?
Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent
person do this?
What should I do right now to move toward what
I really want?
Activity: Watch video clip, how could this same
example be applied to a school setting?
https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
STATE My Path
STATE:
Share your facts
Tell your story
Ask for others’ paths (what)
Talk tentatively
Encourage testing (how)
STATE My Path
Am
Am
I really open to others’ views?
I confidently expressing my own
views?
Explore Others’ Paths
Explore
with added AMPPs:
Ask
Mirror
Paraphrase
Prime
Explore Others’ Paths
Am
I actively exploring others’ views?
Move to Action
Decide
how to decide
Document
follow-up
who does what by when and
Move to Action
What
is the plan from here?