Transcript Essay Structure: Personal Writing

Essay Structure Review: A
Personal Writing Workshop
ENG 131
By Sue Stindt
How to complete this workshop…
Thank you for participating in “Essay Structure Review.” This workshop is
intended to help you develop and improve organization and structure in
your personal (and informative) essays and to apply those skills to
academic writing across the curriculum. This workshop is a tutorial and
requires your participation.
To receive full credit for this two-hour workshop:
•Scroll through the slides one by one
•Read the information thoroughly, giving each point thought and
consideration. Unlike other workshops, the workshop activity,
here, comes at the end. The information on the discussion slides is
crucial to successfully completing the assignment and will be used
as evaluation criteria. At the very end is a final reflection for you
to complete.
•Complete all of the activity and the reflection. You do not have to
complete this workshop in one sitting. You can work through it at
your own pace as time allows.
•Turn your work in to your instructor for credit when finished
In the world around us, most
manmade structures and objects have a
purpose or a function. If we analyze the
structures, we realize that the design and
parts support the purpose.
Structure and Function (or Purpose)
Questions for Thought and Analysis
What is the purpose of
a windmill?
What are the parts of a
windmill?
How do these parts
support its purpose?
Structure and Function (or Purpose)
What is the purpose of
a lighthouse?
What are the parts of a
lighthouse?
How do these parts
support its purpose?
Essays need structure, too…
Any coherent,
meaningful piece of
writing must have a
clear purpose and solid
organization and
structure.
The Structure or Parts of the Essay
Support its Purpose…
An essay writer must have a reason or
purpose for telling a personal story or
writing about an experience or character.
A writer must make meaning of his or her
life experience.
Meaning is sometimes revealed as, or even after, the
writer writes about a life experience. Using this
strategy, the writer may jump right into the story,
without a formal introduction. But, the writer must
then focus on clearly weaving the theme or meaning
into the essay, reinforcing it in the revision process.
PURPOSE
An essay must convey meaning or purpose by organizing the
details of the essay around a theme, a universal experience, or
an abstract idea.
The theme is the “relevant” idea… what the story, event,
or character mean to the writer and what readers can
learn from the essay.
The theme should be woven throughout the story or
essay; it should be evident in each section of its structure–
beginning, middle and end.
The theme or meaning should emphasize the author’s
view or interpretation of a lesson learned, an insight, an
understanding, or an abstract idea connected to the event,
experience or relationship of the character to the writer.
Theme, Meaning or Purpose…
A personal essay must have a
theme or meaning, a purpose for
sharing the story or personal
experience.
To convey meaning, a writer must…
•Discuss an abstract idea (the beauty of love, the
harshness of learning justice, the rewards of hard work,
the disillusionment of love, the satisfaction of justice,
coping with failure despite hard work) that is essential
to (that “fits”) his or her story
•Convey a lesson learned (I now know that…What this
experience made me realize is…This experience gave me
an understanding of…)
•Share his or her perspective of a universal
experience (peer pressure, first kiss, coping with stress,
the loss of a loved one, learning the hard way)
See the workshop “Writing with Meaning” for many more techniques and ideas for
developing meaning.
FORM & STRUCTURE
The process of constructing an essay includes
defining the purpose for a piece (the central idea),
crafting a structure for it, and creating the
connections.
An essay is made of three main sections and
smaller parts. The form or design and structure of
sections, paragraphs, sentences, and words support
the essay’s meaning or purpose.
An essay has three large sections--the introduction
(beginning), body (middle), and conclusion (end)-made of smaller parts--paragraphs, sentences,
transitions, and details, for example.
This is true of any academic essay, personal or
expository, for English class or any other class.
After choosing the story (plot) an
essay writer must…
Introduce the meaning, purpose or theme in the introduction
Weave the theme or idea throughout
the body of the essay. All the
sub-stories and details contained
in the story must support the main or
“revelant idea.” A story generally
builds to a peak or climax near the
end of the body.
Re-focus, re-assess, expand on, or discuss the theme or idea
in the conclusion
Photo: http://www.chihuly.com/installations/early/weaving01.html
Let’s take a closer look at the
STRUCTURE of an essay by
examining the parts…
•
•
•
•
Introduction
Body
Conclusion
Transition Sentences
The Introduction…
The introduction is often called “the lead.”
A good lead must have a “hook” or a “grabber” – a
strong statement that “grabs” the readers’ attention
or “pulls readers in.”
Most importantly, an introductory paragraph
must define the essay’s meaning or theme.
The purpose of the essay must be clear.
A lead may be one single paragraph or may extend to
several paragraphs.
Source: http://web.anglia.ac.uk/stu_services/essex/learningsupport/OL-EssayWrting1.htm
The Introduction…
A solid introduction will:
•Arouse the reader’s interest
•Set the scene--provide background or
context
•Reveal tension or conflict
•Interpret an experience (briefly)
•Identify the theme or idea that the
writer will explore
The Body…
The body consists of the bulk of the story, the
paragraphs that tell the story and develop
the theme through examples and detailed
experiences that build upon each other.
The details a writer includes are often called the
“supporting details,” details that support the
theme or main idea, details that are relevant to
the story.
The final body paragraph should contain the
most poignant information, reaching a peak
or a climax.
The Conclusion…
A conclusion widens the lens and wraps up the essay (draws
everything together) without summarizing or repeating what
has already been written.
A conclusion resolves the tension or conflict.
A conclusion discusses, re-frames (puts in perspective) or
reflects on the universal theme, idea or life lesson.
A conclusion lets the reader know what the writer knows
“now” that he/she didn’t know “then” (before the experience).
Transition Sentences…
A writer must create connections between paragraphs.
As you already know, the first sentence of a
paragraph is the “topic sentence,” which guides the
content of the entire paragraph. The last sentence of
each paragraph is just as important. It is a transition
sentence and must “urge readers on” to the following
paragraph.
Transition Sentences…
The last sentence of each section of the essay—
the introduction, body and conclusion– has a
special role:
•The last or near last sentence of the
introduction should reveal the theme.
•The last or near last sentence of the body
should be the climax or peak of your story.
•The last or near last sentence of the conclusion
should reflect on the meaning.
A Final Pointer…
The ideal essay expands beyond the writer
to show readers how they might apply what
the author learned or to show readers how
they might connect to the writer’s experiences
by acknowledging similar experiences.
I like to tell students, “This essay is bigger than you.” And
ask them, “What can others learn from your experience?
How can readers identify with your piece? I urge students
to, “Connect to your readers (show and tell) through your
essays.”
If a writer does the above smoothly and subtly, then he or she
will have a terrific essay.
Sample Essay
Read the essay that follows.
Read critically, as described in Chapter 2
of your textbook.
Focus your attention on the structure, the
content of each section, the transition
sentences, and most of all, the meaning.
A Sample Essay…
Source of Sample Essay: http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/sampleessay.html
The Introduction
Just six days into army basic training, three hundred and fifty unsuspecting
soldier trainees are headed for the gas chamber after lunch. I didn’t eat. I am better off
having an empty stomach anyway. It wouldn’t be the first time this week that I would
revisit the previous meal during some so called training exercise. I believe the term
training exercise means “see if you can make them puke” in drill sergeant language.
Just yesterday, my battle buddy, that’s what you call the person you share your bunk
with, had to drink two full canteens of water then log roll down a fifty foot hill outside
our barracks as a training exercise. She threw up and I’m not sure what type of training
she got out of that experience. We are definitely learning quickly that we are not in
charge. The gas chamber is just another training exercise. The proper care and usage
of a gas mask is very important if you ever find yourself in an area less friendly than
Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. Unfortunately, we are learning the important stuff after
we learn hose important gas masks are—the hard way. (theme; relevant idea)
First Body Paragraph
Topic/Transition Sentence
Outside the gas chamber, we are all standing in one single file line that extends
three hundred and fifty people long from a door that holds my destiny.
Development of ideas related to the topic sentence
This soldier worm-wiggled with a type of nervousness many of us have never
experienced before. They won’t let me die. I figure if I keep repeating these words to myself
the trembling fear surging through my body in tempo with my heartbeat would being to
subside, but it doesn’t. In groups of four, the drill sergeant sends us to our fate. I’ve had
nightmares of dying in combat but none of them ever involved friendly fire of this kind.
They won’t let me die, I think again, and again. I begin to shiver, not because I am cold, but
because I can no longer register any more comprehendible fears. I can’t run away, some
poor schmuck had tried that three days ago and was caught and thrown in jail. I can’t
pretend I am sick, that hasn’t worked for anyone so far. I have to do it. Eventually one has
to face her fears. My time is today, in approximately eight minutes.
End Sentence
I will become a new person, alive or dead.
Second Body Paragraph
Topic/Transition Sentence
The soldier-worm wriggles toward the destiny door sooner than I
would like, but I am filled with new confidence.
Development of ideas related to the topic sentence: (Signpost
question addressed-- evidence of responsibility)
Two-hundred soldiers have gone before me, now it is my turn. Bring
it on. I approach the door and begin to cough. We are instructed to put on our
gas masks and enter. I seal the mask around my sweating face and take one last
deep, long breath and enter the small building. With my eyes closed, I take
three steps forward and bump into the person in front of me. I open my eyes
quickly while still holding my breath. The room is very small and perfectly
square with only what looks like a drain on the floor in front of us. It is
spewing a fog that has filled the room. There is an observation window that
spans across one corner of the room..
End sentence
What a cruel way to spend your days, watching poor trainees gag in a fog of
fears.
Continuing Body Paragraphs
Topic/Transition sentence
A voice comes from the control window instructing us to unmask.
Development of ideas related to the topic sentence: (Signpost
question addressed-- accomplishment)
The time has come. I obey the command given by the voice from above and take one last quick
breath and lose the safety of my gas mask. At first I don’t notice a thing. Then it hits me, the feeling of
drowning in midair. I can breathe in, but nothing is leaving my lungs. A feeling of fullness burns like wildfire in
my chest. Each breath gets shorter and shorter, quicker and more painful. All four of us in the gagging haze
have to say our name, rank and serial number. Producing words is unthinkable, but I get to go first.
“Private First Class Sara Luciani, 366924321, sir.” The words sputter from my lips. I can’t hear
anything else. Three more names follow mine, but I can only concentrate on the feeling of the world getting
smaller around me. I’m getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen. My nose is running like a faucet. My skin is
burning almost as painfully as my lungs now. I can’t see anything around me. I think I’m going blind. I want to
scream, but I can’t breathe. Oh God, please don’t let me die. He can’t hear me either. The others finally cough
the words we need to hear and out the door we go on the opposite side of the room from the entry. I can’t see
anything because my eyes are burning from the crystals that float in the gas. When I rub my eyes it feels like
grinding glass shards into my retinas. My nose is still running profusely, my skin still burns, my lungs are still
paralyzed. They won’t let me die, I tell myself as I flap my arms like a bird to force the air back into my lungs .
End sentence
After a few minutes in the fresh air I slowly retain my eyesight and air returns to my lungs, but my
skin will itch and burn for a few more hours.
Conclusion
Widen the lens beyond the topic at hand and tie up the essay
They didn’t let me die, not that day or any of the days in the remaining
thirteen weeks of training I endured at that dreadful place. That afternoon we
learned the proper way to care for, assemble, wear and store an army issued gas
mask. I would go on to learn hand to hand combat, marksmanship with a variety of
firearms, bayonet fighting, drill and ceremony, and the proper way to fold my
socks, all the skills I needed to be a good soldier. But I also learned courage,
honesty, and integrity. Mostly, I learned to be brave. What doesn’t kill you really
does make you stronger. Before the gas chamber I didn’t think you could teach
people things like bravery and courage. Now I know you can. I spent the
following six years as an active duty soldier. I was promoted five times, stationed
in three countries, five states, and went through two more advanced training
schools. After becoming a veteran of two foreign wars as a combat field medic, I
still remember exactly where I was on August 4, 1997.
Activity…
A Critical Reading Workshop
1.
Print a copy of your personal narrative.
2.
In the left margin, bracket each section – intro, body, conclusion and label them.
3.
Review the contents of each part. Is there a hook? Is the theme or idea clear?
Does the introduction make your peers want to read on? Do you reflect at the end?
Is your theme developed throughout? Use the slides as guides. Make additions or
revisions.
4.
Circle the sentence in the intro that declares your theme and label it.
5.
Double underline the hook in your lead or intro.
6.
Underline the sentences that discuss or return to the theme in the body of your
piece.
7.
Place a squiggly line under the sentences that discuss or reflect on the theme in
your conclusion.
8.
Check your topic sentences—in a word or two (in the margins) summarize the
topic of each paragraph.
9.
Check your topic and transition sentences – write a brief comment near each
explaining why that sentence (the first) makes readers want to continue or how it
(the last of each paragraph) smoothly connects to the next paragraph.
10. Place a star at the start of any sentence that you think will help readers connect to
your topic or ideas.
The Final Steps…
While critically reading your essay, you probably
noticed weak spots and areas that need development.
Maybe you noticed editing errors. Revise and make
corrections.
Note those changes by writing a brief paragraph about
what you changed, added, deleted and why, or by
highlighting the changes in your essay.
Hand in your essay, the one with all the markings on it
and the revised copy if you made revisions and
corrections.
Credit for this workshop is based on completing the above
(this slide and previous) and the reflective evaluation on
the next slide.
Workshop Evaluation
Essay Structure Review
A WORKSHOP OF THE JCC LANGUAGE, LITERATURE & ARTS DEPARTMENT
Now that you have spent some time in this workshop, answer the following questions:
What new ideas were presented or what ideas were useful reminders (since this should be a
review for most students)??
What information or strategies did you find most helpful and why?
What do you want to learn more about?
How will you use specific information presented here to revise and edit your upcoming
papers?
This evaluation, along with your activities from this workshop serve to verify that you
completed the workshop Essay Structure Review.
Please include this evaluation along with the work from the activity in this workshop and turn
in to your writing instructor as proof of completion.