Transcript The Enneagram

The Soft Side of Software
Engineering—Part II
The Enneagram
Todd Little – A Five
Overview and History

Ennea (nine) gram (written).

A geometric figure that maps out nine fundamental personality
types of human nature and their complex interrelationships.

A development of modern psychology that has roots in spiritual
wisdom from many different ancient traditions.

Each type formulates early in childhood (or before). The innocent
child is put forth into a world and discovers that something is not
right, a lost essential quality.

This lost essential quality is replaced by a compensating belief.
This belief is a self-protection strategy that has served well but is
likely to have outlived its usefulness.

Work with the Enneagram begins when you identify your type and
begin to understand its dominant issues; a process of selfobservation, self-understanding and self-discovery.

Provides a path to growth, as well as “watch-outs” for
“disintegration.”
Why the Enneagram?
 Relationship to MBTI/Jungian Type
–
Preference vs. Defense mechanism
 Self-Understanding and the path of Transcendence
 Understanding others
–
–
–
Valuing diversity
How to work effectively with other types
Dealing with “hot-buttons”
Theory, FAQ
 How does one become a type?
–
–
–
Lost Essential Quality
Compensating Belief
Coping Strategy
 Do you ever change type?
–
–
No, although the impact of the compulsion can be modified by
the path of transcendence.
Many say that one is of truest type in their 20s
 Can I be more than one type?
–
Everybody exhibits attributes and behaviors of all types, but
only one type really maps the defense mechanism. The search
for the compulsion will reveal type.
Caveats
 For many people discovering their type is a multi-year
process.
 Beware of tests
 Beware of typing others based on their behavior
 Beware of stereotyping
 Do not underestimate the depth of the Enneagram
 Start by looking at a few possible types
 Look to the compulsion, often a blind spot
Now Break all the Rules
 Pseudo-Test
–
The Essential Enneagram – David Daniels
 Listen for which description matches well
 Consider each paragraph as a whole, not
just individual sentences
 Mark as follows:
–
–
–
–
–

Like me
Somewhat like me
Neutral
Not really like me
Not like me
Order the top 3 most like you (1-3)
A.
 I approach things in an all-or-none way, especially issues
that matter to me. I place a lot of value on being strong,
honest, and dependable. What you see is what you get. I
don't trust others until they have proven themselves to be
reliable. I like people to be direct with me, and I know when
someone is being devious, lying, or trying to manipulate me.
I have a hard time tolerating weakness in people, unless I
understand the reason for their weakness or I see that
they're trying to do something about it. I also have a hard
time following orders or directions if I do not respect or agree
with the person in authority. I am much better at taking
charge myself. I find it difficult not to display my feelings
when I am angry. I am always ready to stick up for friends or
loved ones, especially if I think they are being treated
unjustly. I may not win every battle with others, but they'll
know I've been there.
B.
 I have high internal standards for correctness, and I expect
myself to live up to those standards. It's easy for me to see
what's wrong with things as they are, and to see how they
could be improved. I may come across to some people as
overly critical or demanding perfection, but it's hard for me to
ignore or accept things that are not done the right way. I
pride myself on the fact that if I'm responsible for doing
something, you can be sure I'll do it right. I sometimes have
feelings of resentment when people don't try to do things
properly or when people act irresponsibly or unfairly,
although I usually try not to show it to them openly. For me, it
is usually work before pleasure, and I suppress my desires
as necessary to get the work done.
C.
 I seem to be able to see all points of view pretty easily. I may
even appear indecisive at times because I can see
advantages and disadvantages on all sides. The ability to see
all sides makes me good at helping people resolve their
differences. This same ability can sometimes lead me to be
more aware of other people's positions, agendas, and
personal priorities than of my own. It is not unusual for me to
become distracted and then to get off task on the important
things I'm trying to do. When that happens, my attention is
often diverted to unimportant trivial tasks. I have a hard time
knowing what is really important to me, and I avoid conflict by
going along with what others want. People tend to consider
me to be easygoing, pleasing and agreeable. It takes a lot to
get me to the point of showing my anger directly at someone.
I like life to be comfortable, harmonious, and accepting.
D.
 I am sensitive to other people's feelings. I can see what they
need, even when I don't know them. Sometimes it's frustrating
to be so aware of people's needs, especially their pain or
unhappiness, because I'm not able to do as much for them as
I'd like to. It's easy for me to give of myself. I sometimes wish I
were better at saying "no'; because I end up putting more
energy into caring for others than into taking care of myself. It
hurts my feelings if people think I'm trying to manipulate or
control them, when all I'm trying to do is understand and help
them. I like to be seen as a warmhearted and good person,
but when I'm not taken into account or appreciated I can
become very emotional or even demanding. Good
relationships mean a great deal to me and I'm willing to work
hard to make them happen.
E.
 Being the best at what I do is a strong motivator for me, and I
have received a lot of recognition over the years for my
accomplishments. I get a lot done and am successful in
almost everything I take on. I identify strongly with what I do,
because to a large degree I think your value is based on what
you accomplish and the recognition you get for it. I always
have more to do than will fit into the time available, so I often
set aside feelings and self-reflection in order to get things
done. Because there's always something to do, I find it hard
to just sit and do nothing. I get impatient with people who
don't use my time well. Sometimes I would rather just take
over a project someone is completing too slowly. I like to feel
and appear "on top" of any situation. While I like to compete, I
am also a good team player.
F.
 I would characterize myself as a quiet, analytical person who
needs more time alone than most people do. I usually prefer
to observe what is going on than to be involved in the middle
of it. I don't like people to place too many demands on me or
to expect me to know and report what I am feeling. I'm able
to get in touch with my feelings better when alone than with
others, and often enjoy experiences I've had more when
reliving them than when actually going through them. I'm
almost never bored when alone, because I have an active
mental life. It is important for me to protect my time and
energy, and hence, to live a simple, uncomplicated life and to
be as self- sufficient as possible.
G.
 I have a vivid imagination, especially when it comes to what
might be threatening to safety and security. I can usually spot
what could be dangerous or harmful and may experience as
much fear as if it were really happening. I either always avoid
danger or always challenge it head on. My imagination also
leads to my ingenuity and a good, if somewhat offbeat, sense
of humor. I would like for life to be more certain, but, in
general, I seem to doubt the people and things around me. I
can usually see the shortcomings in the view someone is
putting forward. I suppose that, as a consequence, some
people may consider me to be very astute. I tend to be
suspicious of authority and am not particularly comfortable
being seen as the authority. Because I can see what is wrong
with the generally held view of things, I tend to identify with
underdog causes. Once I have committed myself to a person
or cause, I am very loyal to it.
H.
 I am an optimistic person who enjoys coming up with new and
interesting things to do. I have a very active mind that quickly
moves back and forth between different ideas. I like to get a
global picture of how all these ideas fit together, and I get
excited when I can connect concepts that initially don't appear
to be related. I like to work on things that interest me, and I
have a lot of energy to devote to them. I have a hard time
sticking with unrewarding and repetitive tasks. I like to be in
on the beginning of a project, during the planning phase,
when there may be many interesting options to consider.
When I have exhausted my interest in something, it is difficult
for me to stay with it, because I want to move on to the next
thing that has captured my interest. If something gets me
down, I prefer to shift my attention to more pleasant ideas. I
believe people are entitled to an enjoyable life.
I.
 I am a sensitive person with intense feelings. I often feel
misunderstood and lonely, because I feel different from
everyone else. My behavior can appear like drama to others,
and I have been criticized for being overly sensitive and overamplifying my feelings. What is really going on inside is my
longing for both emotional connection and a deeply felt
experience of relationship. I have difficulty fully appreciating
present relationships because of my tendency to want what I
can't have and to disdain what I do have. The search for
emotional connection has been with me all my life and the
absence of emotional connection has led to melancholy and
depression. I sometimes wonder why other people seem to
have more than I do-better relation- ships and happier lives. I
have a refined sense of aesthetics and I experience a rich
world of emotions and meaning.
Final Answer
 Rate the top 3 most like you, in order
 How many?
–Will not answer no matter what I ask?
–A
–B
–C
–D
–E
–F
–G
–H
–I
The Types
The Mediator
9
A
The Boss
The H
Epicure
G
8
C
B
The
1
Perfectionist
2 The Giver
7
The Loyal
Skeptic
3 The Performer
6
The Observer 5
F
4 The
Romantic
I
D
E
Body Types
The Mediator
9
A
The Boss
8
C
B
The
1
Perfectionist
Body Types - 8, 9, 1. The Body Types all have issues
relating to their anger and with relating to others. Eights,
who are assertive and hard-working, tend to overexpress
their anger. Nines, who are friendly and laid-back are
most out of touch with their anger. Ones, who have
perfectionist tendencies, often suppress emotions and
underexpress their anger.
Heart Types
Heart Types - 2, 3, 4. The Heart Types all
have issues relating to their feelings, or to
be specific, with their image. Twos, who
can sometimes seem intrusive and overlyemotional over-express their feelings.
Threes, who tend to ignore their feelings
in order to get the job done, and be
successful, are the most out of touch with
their feelings. Fours, who despite feeling
emotions deeply, usually don't like to
express them directly, and instead
communicate usually through subtle
communication or an art form, and
therefore underexpress their feelings.
2 The Giver
3 The Performer
4 The
Romantic
I
D
E
Head Types
The H
Epicure
G
Head Types - 5, 6, 7. The Head Types all have
issues with their thoughts, or to be specific,
fear and anxiety. Fives, who are removed from
the physical world because they are frightened
of it in a way, live in their minds, and often
overexpress their thoughts. Sixes, who can't
trust themselves nor anybody on the outside
are caught in fear, and are thus most out of
touch with their thoughts. Sevens who are
afraid of introspection, turn to the outside
world for action and experience, making them
underexpress their thoughts.
7
The Loyal
Skeptic
6
The Observer 5
F
Issues for each type
 Lost Essential Quality
 Compensating Belief
 What do I want most?
 What is most important to me?
 What is the worst thing that could happen to me?
 How do I see myself (on a good day)?
#1: The Perfectionist (B)
 Motto: Let MY conscience be YOUR guide
 Lost Essential Quality: Perfection
 Compensating Belief:
– I must gain worthiness and love through being good and
perfecting myself.
 I want to be morally right, to improve myself so that no one
will be able to say that I am not good.
 It is important to me that people behave as they should
 The worst thing that could happen to me is that I become
morally corrupt, a failure in my own eyes
 I am a person with high principles—logical and orderly.
1
#2: The Giver (D)
 Motto: If you want to be loved, be lovable
 Lost Essential Quality: Universal will
 Compensating Belief:
– To get I must give. To be loved I must be needed.
 I want to love and be loved, to be helpful, and to be
appreciated for what I do.
 It is important to me that others see me as loving and helpful.
 The worst thing that could happen to me would be to have to
live with people who don’t appreciate me or care about me.
 I am a warm, loving, and helpful person
2
#3: The Performer (E)
 Motto: Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and
advertise.
– Work harder, not smarter.
– Work is more fun than fun
 Lost Essential Quality: Hope
 Compensating Belief:
– The world rewards doing, not being.
 I want to be noticed, to be admired for doing things well.
 It is important that others see me as being successful.
 The worst thing that could happen to me is that I fail at
something and other people find out.
 I am self-confident, competitive, attractive, a winner.
3
#4: The Romantic (I)
 Motto: I feel so bad since you’ve gone, it’s almost like
having you here.
 Lost Essential Quality: Original Connection
 Compensating Belief:
– I am deficient and something really important is missing which
must be regained.
 I want to be understood and to understand myself.
 It is important for me to find a meaning and a purpose in my
life.
 The worst thing that could happen to me is for people to think
that there is something emotionally wrong with me.
 I am thoughtful, sincere, sensitive, and emotionally intense.
4
#5: The Observer (F)
 Motto: Why one has to have a body, I don’t know. A
necessary appendage to the head, I suppose.
– You can observe a lot just by watching – Yogi Berra
 Lost Essential Quality: Omniscience
 Compensating Belief:
– The world demands too much and gives too little.
 I want to know, to understand everything around me.
 It is important to me that I see things clearly and correctly.
 The worst thing that could happen to me is that my ideas be
wrong, incorrect.
 I am very perceptive and a person who sees things more
clearly than others.
5
#6: The Loyal Skeptic (G)
 Motto: I don’t like being afraid. It scares me.
 Lost Essential Quality: Faith
 Compensating Belief:
–
The world is dangerous.
 I want to belong, to be safe in my own kind of friendly group.
 It is important to me that people be straight and fair with me.
 The worst thing that could happen to me is that someone I
trust betrays me.
 I am strong-minded, friendly, and cautious.
6
6
#7: The Epicure (H)
 Motto: When choosing between two evils, I always like to take
the one I’ve never tried before. – Mae West
 Lost Essential Quality: Sustained Concentration
 Compensating Belief:
– The world limits and frustrates people and causes pain which can be
escaped.
 I want happiness, excitement, to discover, and to do new things.
 It is important to me to always have a plan for what happens next. I
always have plan for the future.
 The worst thing that could happen to me would be to be bored and
broke.
 I am friendly, fun-loving, and able to do well at whatever I choose to
do.
7
#8: The Boss (A)
 Motto: Never go to bed mad—stay up and fight!.
 Lost Essential Quality: Truth
 Compensating Belief:
– This is a hard and unjust world in which the powerful take
advantage of the innocent.
 I want to be in control, to lead, and to show that I am stronger
than others.
 It is important that I be in control of what goes on around me.
 The worst thing that could happen to me is that things around
me get out of control.
 I am different, independent, decisive, and respected.
8
#9: The Mediator (C)
 Motto: I always procrastinate when I get around to it.
 Lost Essential Quality: Love
 Compensating Belief:
– I am unimportant so I must blend in.
 I want peacefulness, to keep things as they are (or as they
were).
 It is important that everyone get along with each other.
 The worst thing that could happen to me is to have to say “no”
to someone and have that person get angry at me.
 I am a person who is friendly and easygoing, but I can be very
stubborn sometimes.
9
The Enneagram and Teams
 Software = Team
 Team = ΣPeople
 People = Unpredictable
– Hot-Buttons – things to avoid doing
– Openings – how to engage when in
disagreement
1 - Perfectionist
 Hot-Buttons:
– Criticize or scold them. Question their
integrity. Don’t follow through with what you
say you are going to do. Be chronically late.
 Openings:
– Affirm their good intentions, their
reasonableness, their integrity. Let them
know that you are aware of how hard they
are trying.
2 - Helper
 Hot-Buttons:
– Take them for granted. Don’t thank them.
Be indifferent to the friendliness. Accuse
them of selfishness.
 Openings:
– Affirm the friendship, the intimacy between
you. Show appreciation. Reassure them
that they matter to you.
3 - Achiever
 Hot-Buttons:
– Ignore them. Look down on them. Focus on
their defeats or shortcomings. Don’t include
them. Be ineffectual or sloppy. Push for
intimacy.
 Openings:
– Give praise for accomplishments. Affirm
their personal value—not just their
performance. Allow space for feelings to
emerge, but don’t demand them.
4 - Romantic
 Hot-Buttons:
– Dismiss them. Disrupt their mood, their
personal world. Behave crudely. Be
inelegant, coarse, or insensitive to their
feelings
 Openings:
– Encourage them. Self-diagnose a similar
fault or problem. Let them know that you’ll
stay with them while they are working
through their feelings.
5 - Observer
 Hot-Buttons:
– Question their competency. Intrude on them.
Start “organizing” their things. Be closedminded, or talk about things you don’t really
know about.
 Openings:
– Be a quiet presence: supplying support, but
also plenty of space. Give time for a
response. Engage them with topics of
mutual interest. Write ---------a letter. email
6 – Loyal Skeptic
 Hot-Buttons:
– Don’t “pull your weight.” Take the other point
of view. Be secretive or evasive. Take
advantage of their commitment.
 Openings:
– Affirm your connection/friendship. Reassure
them that you’re not walking out, that you’ll
stand by them. Remind them of past
successes, solutions.
7 - Epicure
 Hot-Buttons:
– Restrict their freedom, limit their choices. Be
a “wet blanket,” discouraging and
pessimistic. Keep “sharing” your despair.
 Openings:
– Acknowledge their underlying anxiety/fear.
It’s OK to be anxious or sad. Give them
choices. Reassure them that you care, but
leave the door open.
8 - Boss
 Hot-Buttons:
– Tell them what they can and can’t do. Try to
get an advantage over them. Be indecisive,
indirect, or “wimpy.” Beat around the bush.
 Openings:
– Tell them what you think or how you feel,
simply and directly. Get to the point. Look
them in the eye and say what you mean.
9 - Mediator
 Hot-Buttons:
– Disturb their peace, their calm. Yell. Direct
anger at them. Be aggressive and
confrontational. Make demands.
 Openings:
– Be there. Gently ask about their state and
what they want or need from the situation.
Be patient in waiting for a response.
Coping with Conflict and Difficulty
 Positive Outlook (Two, Seven, Nine)
–
–
–
Adopt, as much as possible, a positive attitude
Look at the bright side
Morale builders – make others feel good because they want to feel good
 Competency (One, Three, Five)
–
–
–
Put their feelings aside and strive to be objective, effective, and
competent
Try to solve problems logically and expect others to do the same
Have issues about how they work within a structure or system
 Reactive (Four, Six, Eight)
–
–
–
React emotionally to conflicts and problems
Want others to match their emotional state
Need to deal with their feelings first, then can move on
Coping Styles
 Positive Outlook Group – Deny that they have any problems
– Two:
“You have a problem. I am here to help you.”
– Seven: “There may be a problem, but I’m fine.”
– Nine:
“What problem? I don’t think there is a problem.”
 Competency Group – Cut off feelings and solve problems logically
– One:
“ I’m sure we can solve this like sensible, mature adults.”
– Three: “There’s an efficient solution to this – we just need to get to work.”
– Five:
“There are a number of hidden issues here: let me think about this.”
 Reactive Group – React strongly and need response from others
– Four: “I feel really hurt, and I need to express myself.”
– Six:
“I feel really pressured, and I’ve got to let off some steam.”
– Eight: “I’m really angry about this and you’re going to hear about it!”
Danger of Stereotyping
Software Engineering
Management
The Boss 8
Customer Support
The Mediator
9
Sales
Developers/Domain/
Testing
The
1
Perfectionist
HR
The
Epicure
2 The Giver
7
Developers/Testers/
Middle Management
The Loyal
Skeptic
6
The Observer 5
Developers/Domain
Marketing/Sales/
Management
3 The Performer
Writers/Artists
4 The
Romantic
Relation to the MBTI
Type
INFJ
INTJ
ENFP
ENTP
INFP
ISFP
ENFJ
ESFJ
INTP
ISTP
ENTJ
ESTJ
ISTJ
ISFJ
ESTP
ESFP
Two
5.7%
0.0%
14.5%
6.3%
4.5%
22.2%
16.7%
33.3%
0.0%
12.5%
0.0%
0.0%
0.0%
10.5%
0.0%
14.3%
Three
3.8%
4.1%
9.7%
25.0%
1.1%
0.0%
11.1%
26.7%
0.0%
0.0%
6.9%
13.3%
3.3%
10.5%
20.0%
0.0%
Four
35.8%
10.2%
14.5%
0.0%
31.5%
22.2%
11.1%
0.0%
4.0%
0.0%
0.0%
0.0%
3.3%
5.3%
0.0%
14.3%
Five
15.1%
36.7%
0.0%
6.3%
10.1%
11.1%
0.0%
0.0%
60.0%
37.5%
10.3%
6.7%
23.3%
0.0%
0.0%
0.0%
Six
7.5%
10.2%
11.3%
6.3%
16.9%
11.1%
8.3%
13.3%
12.0%
0.0%
6.9%
13.3%
13.3%
15.8%
0.0%
0.0%
Seven
1.9%
4.1%
25.8%
6.3%
1.1%
0.0%
8.3%
0.0%
8.0%
12.5%
3.4%
0.0%
0.0%
5.3%
20.0%
42.9%
Eight
0.0%
8.2%
12.9%
18.8%
1.1%
0.0%
2.8%
6.7%
0.0%
0.0%
41.4%
33.3%
10.0%
5.3%
20.0%
28.6%
Nine
7.5%
6.1%
4.8%
12.5%
25.8%
33.3%
11.1%
13.3%
8.0%
25.0%
3.4%
13.3%
13.3%
21.1%
20.0%
0.0%
One
22.6%
20.4%
6.5%
18.8%
7.9%
0.0%
30.6%
6.7%
8.0%
12.5%
27.6%
20.0%
33.3%
26.3%
20.0%
0.0%
Security and Stress
Security – Move against the arrow
Stress – Move with the arrow
9
8
1
2
7
3
6
5
4
Deeper look into the 5
 The 5 in security - move to 8
– Become more direct
– Can also take on some of the petty tyrant aspects of
an 8
 The 5 under stress/risk - move to 7
– When the major defenses of withdrawal and isolation
are ineffective, a social façade may appear.
– May result in a genuine ability to enjoy the flow of
events rather than to contract against surprise.
– In the worst case, attention scatters in a frantic
search for any quick fix solution to buy time and
save resources
Heaven & Hell for 5’s
 Heaven
–
Being paid a decent wage to pursue their own intellectual
interests in a private office with co-workers who eagerly supply
data.
 Hell
–
–
–
Cubicles
No Boundaries
Too much intrusion
Deeper look into the 5
 Pair Programming
– X-Scream Programming
The Path of Transformation
 Start by understanding your type
 Usually one of two things happen
–
–
Isn’t it great that I am Type X
Oh SHIT…I don’t want to be Type X
 Opportunity is to understand the compulsion
 The compulsion will be present, once you can be present to
the compulsion you may have a choice.
 For the 5
–
–
–
Distinguish between Detachment, and Non-Attachment
Live in the moment.
Realize that energy is self-renewing
Resources
 Books
– The Essential Enneagram, David Daniels
– The Enneagram Made Easy, Renee Baron &
Elizabeth Wagele (Recommended as 1st book)
– The Pocket Enneagram, Helen Palmer
– The Enneagram at Love and Work, Helen Palmer
– Principles of the Enneagram, Karen Webb
 Internet
 Video
– Nine Paths to a Productive and Fulfilling Life
 Helen Palmer Workshop in Austin