Transcript Chpt 6 Sentences

Getting your paper backDON’T PANIC!
1. Review the comments – on the rubric AND on
the paper
2. Research how to fix your errors – use the tools
you have: Your book, the internet
• For example – if you have a problem w/ Runons or Fragments, research in your book how
to fix them.
3. If your grade is below a 75, ask about
resubmission.
Effective sentences
Chapter , pg 125
What’s wrong with these?
• In accordance with your instructions, I have
given birth to twins in the enclosed
envelope.
• There will be a discussion tomorrow on the
problem of adultery in the minister’s office
• Passes will not be given to members until
the manager has punched each of them
first.
Assignment
• Jigsaw: form into 4 groups
• Each group will be assigned to make a
poster of one (1) subtopic within
“developing effective sentences”
• You will have 20 minutes to create a poster
• Posters will be presented to the class
Develop a Clear Style
• Give your sentences content
– Look @ bulleted sentences on pg 126.
– How could you put more information into each.
• Make your sentences specific
– Vague to SPECIFIC
•
•
•
•
Avoid Over-packing your sentences
Fix fragments
Pay attention to word order
Avoid mixed constructions and faulty predication
Practice what you’ve learned, pg 134
1.1. According
There’s a new
detective
show
ondetective
television.
Starring
Noir.
to TV
Guide, the
new
show
on TVPhil
stars
is setand
in the
1940’s.
According
PhilIt Noir
is set
in the
1940s. to TV guide.
2. Roger’s marketing skills made him important to his
company’s sales department. I can’t help but wonder if he’s
welcome.
3. Biofeedback: How to Stop It has so many funny and sarcastic
comments about California self-help fads, I couldn’t put it
down.
4. The magician became disillusioned when his assistant stole
the disappearing rabbit, the magic wand and the invisible
ink.
Developing a concise style
•
•
•
•
Avoid deadwood constructions
Avoid redundancy
Carefully consider your passive verbs
Avoid pretentiousness
Developing a lively style
• Use specific, descriptive words
• Use specific, precise modifiers that help the
reader see, hear, or feel what you are describing
• Emphasize people when possible
• Vary your sentence style
• Avoid overuse of any one kind of construction
of the same sentences
• Don’t change your point of view between or
within sentences
Developing an emphatic style
• Use specific, descriptive words
• Use specific, precise modifiers that help the
reader see, hear, or feel what you are describing
• Emphasize people when possible
• Vary your sentence style
• Avoid overuse of any one kind of construction
of the same sentences
• Don’t change your point of view between or
within sentences