Transcript Diapositiva 1 - Business education

Reading the Tells
Learning How to
Read Body
Language
Jerry Balistreri
M.S., M.Ed., ASTD Certified Trainer
(Copyright 2013)
Non-Verbal Communication
Professional Uses
Are you good a “reading” people?
When in a meeting can you tell who is bored
or wants to leave?
Professional Uses
Can you tell if someone is lying or being
deceptive?
Koko & All Ball
Professional Uses
Can you read an interview applicant?
Can you tell if a client is displeased when
negotiating a contract?
Non-Verbal Communication
Personal Uses
Do you know what to look for if a date
is going well?
Personal Uses
You come home after curfew time and Mom
is there to greet you. Can you tell her mood
even before she speaks?
Personal Use
Would you like to know if a person you’re
about to hire to come into your home to
clean, care for an elderly parent,
or child is deceptive?
Personal Use
Would you like to know the next time the car
repairman says you need to replace
an expensive part?
Objectives
• Develop skills in reading non-verbal “tells”.
• Understand the limbic system and its role in nonverbal communication.
• Dispel the myth of “fight or flight”.
• Identify the most honest part of the body.
• Know how to detect deception.
My Goal
What Part of the Message …
Mehrabian, Albert (1971) Silent Message, Wadsworth Publishing co.
The Limbic System
• Photo brain
The Limbic System Continued
• It is considered to be the “honest brain” in the non-verbal
world (Goleman, 1995, 13-29).
• Consequently it gives off a true response to information
in the immediate environment.
• Why? It reacts instantaneously, real time, and without
thought.
• In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the
“action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses
come from here.
• The remaining parts of the brain are the thinking and
creative parts. These are the non-honest parts of the
brain. The brain that can deceive and deceives often (Vrij,
2003, 1-17).
Limbic Responses
The Three F’s
• The limbic brain has assured our survival as a species because of
how it regulates our behavior during times of threat and danger
(Navarro, 2008, 25-34).
• The “fight or flight” response to threats and danger is a myth.
• Correct number and sequence is freeze, flight, or fight (Goleman,
1995, 27, 204-207).
• Movement attracts attention. Freezing means survival, it is our first
line of defense when threatened. (Columbine, Virginia Tech. &
Paducah, KY shootings)
• If the threat is perceived as too close, our second defense is to get
out of harms way, or flight. It is distance that gives us comfort.
• The final response, fight, is a last resort tactic. It is survival through
aggression. It is a final response as we realize it may bring harm to
our own body.
Freeze & Flight
Flight
• photo
Fight
• photo
Areas To Look For “Tells”
•
•
•
•
•
Face
Hands & Fingers
Arms
Upper Body (chest, shoulders, etc.)
Lower Body (feet & legs)
How TV Makes It Look
• Photo Law and Order
Reid Interrogation Method
The Real Deal
• Photo APD interrogation room
Feet & Leg Non-Verbals
• Top down versus bottom up (scanning)
• When it comes to honesty, it decreases as
we move up the body from the feet to the
head.
• Why?
• Identifying the most honest part of the
body.
• The feet! (Morris, 1985, 244)
Feet & Leg Non-Verbals
• Bouncing feet – high confidence, happy,
elated
Feet & Leg Non-Verbals
• Bouncing feet – nervous, anxious,
stressed
Feet & Leg Non-Verbals
•
•
•
•
Pointing feet – direction of intention
Toe point – happy, elated (gravity defying)
Starter position – ready to leave, disengaged
Leg/foot splay – control, intimidation, threaten,
territorial
• Leg crossing (standing) – high comfort
• Leg crossing (seated) – leg direction dictates
emotions
• Foot lock w chair – freeze behavior due to
nervousness
Upper Body Non-Verbals
(chest, shoulders, & trunk)
• Torso lean (away) – avoidance, dislike,
disagreement
• Torso lean (in) – interest, comfort, agreement
Upper Body Non-Verbals
• Torso bare parts – notice me, make
statement, affiliation (tattoos, muscles,
etc.)
Upper Body Non-Verbals
• Torso embellishments – affiliations, denotes
purpose, attitude (clothing, badges, emblems,
gang dress, etc.)
• Shoulder rise – weakness, insecurity
• Mirroring – comfort
Arm Non-Verbals
• Arms up – happiness, positive, joy, excitement,
praise (gravity defying)
• Withdrawn arms – worried, stressed
• Arms behind back – higher status, not
approachable, superiority
Arm Non-Verbals
• Hooding – territorial, in charge
• Arm/finger splay on table – territorial,
confidence, authority
• Folded arms – disapproving, anger,
defensive, protecting
Arm Non-Verbals
Hand & Finger Non-Verbals
• Covering of the mouth – disbelief, extreme
excitement, nervousness
Hand & Finger Non-Verbals
• Resting face in hands – genuine interest or extreme
boredom
• Wringing hands – nervous, anxious, stressed
• Finger point/snapping fingers – negative, rude,
offensive
• Tapping fingers – nervousness, tension, boredom
• Hand shake – strength of character
• Clenched fist – determination, hostility, anger
• Thumbs in/out of pocket – low confidence,
weakness vs. high confidence, high status
• Stroking and rubbing hands – concern, anxiety,
nervousness
Hand & Finger Non-Verbals
• Suprasternal notch – low confidence, stress reliever,
nervousness (women)
• Neck/collar/face touching – low confidence, stress reliever,
nervousness (men)
Face Non-Verbals
• Jaw tightening – tension
• Furrowed forehead (frown) – disagreement,
resentful, angry
• Lips tight together – hesitancy, secrecy
Face Non-Verbals
• Smile – content, understanding, acceptance, encouraging (fake vs
real)
• Direct eye contact – positive messages
• Avoiding direct eye contact – you and your message are no longer
important
• Head nod – positive messages (not always agreement)
• Eye squinting – dislike, object to loud noise, sounds, anger
• Biting the lip – nervous, fearful, anxious
• Eye blink increase – troubled, nervousness, suspicious
• Lip licking – nervous, stressed, anxious, looking to pacify
Detecting Deception
• Deception and/or lying initiates a stress reaction in most
people. The stress is fear of being detected or caught. Stress
can be further induced via guilt.
• Nervous fingers
• Eye contact shifting
• Rigid and/or defensive posture
• Sweaty palms and/or face
• Variations in pitch, amplitude, and rate of speech
• Abnormal speech hesitation and speech errors (thinking)
• Increased embellishments of story or parts of the story
• Inconsistency in story
Deception & Eye Direction
Deception Continued
Deception Mastered
Bibliography
2008, Secrets of Body Language, History Channel.
 Blair, J.P., Horvath, F. (1996). Detecting of Deception Accuracy Using
the Verbal Component of the Behavior Analysis Interview Model,
Michigan State University.
 Cummings, S. (2008) Mystery at Bootleggers Cove, Dateline TV, NBC.
 Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam
Books.
 Mehrabian, Albert (1971) Silent Messages, Wadsworth Publishing Co.
 Morris, D. (1985) Body Watching. New York; Crown Publishers.
* Navarro, J. (2008). What Every Body Is Saying. Harper Collins
Publishers
 Pearlman, G. (2007). How To Spot a Liar, The Palm Beach Times.
 “The Reid Nine Steps of Interrogation, In Brief.” Practical Aspects of
Interviewing and Interrogation. John Reid and Associates, Chicago,
IL.
 Varsamis, C. (2005). How To Detect Liars In Your Business &
Personal Life, Article Alley.
 Vrij, A. (2003). Detecting Lies and Deceit: The psychology of lying
and the implications for professional practice. Chichester, UK: John
Wiley & Sons, Ltd.

Contact Information
Jerry Balistreri
(907) 346-3466
[email protected]
www.readingthetells.com
I hope we learned something today?