Transcript EFFECTIVE EPR WRITING

379th Air Expeditionary Wing
EFFECTIVE EPR WRITING
379 ELRS/LGRT
17 Oct 2005
Brought to you by: AFMentor
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Overview

Why Write a Quality EPR?
 Bullet Construction
 How Many Bullets?
 Level of Leadership
 Trim the “Fat”
 Markings on the EPR
 Quantification
 Common Mistakes
 EPR vs Award
 Winning Packages
 Summary
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DISCLAIMER
There are many ideas (some good, some bad) about
how to write EPRs which may be contrary to information
presented here. The ideas included here are suggested
approaches that have proven effective in the past.
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WHY WRITE A QUALITY EPR?
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WHY WRITE A QUALITY EPR?

There are dozens of uses for an EPR other than
E-8/9 promotion boards
• Decorations
• BTZ / STEP Promotions
• OTS, ROTC, Air Force Academy applications
• Air Force Educational Leave of Absence (AFELA)
formerly known as Bootstrap Education
• Air Force Institution of Technology (AFIT)
applications
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WHY WRITE A QUALITY EPR?

Weak bullets on an EPR make it difficult to write
strong decoration, BTZ, STEP and other such
packages

EPRs with weak bullets do not provide the support
needed for these programs and awards

It is a disservice to your subordinates when you cut/
paste the same bullets to all 5 people you rate

The EPR is the only way to track someone's
long term potential and consistency

The primary focus of an EPR is to show the
whole person concept
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 1: Every action must have a
quantifiable/tangible result
• If you can’t assign a number, rate, quote, grade,
or specific measured outcome to something, it
may not be useful
• Enhancing morale is a non-quantifiable
exception
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 2: Gather the facts
• Make sure your information comes from a credible
source such as QA database, account custodian,
inspection reports, etc.
• Use up to date information
• Results are always more credible if you can attach a
specific number, rating, or quote
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 3: Write it down
• Write all actions and results
• Keep a running log so as not to exclude anything
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 4: Trim the “fat”
• Single, one line bullets
• Each main topic should be its own bullet
• Use acronyms
– If the acronym appears on the MAJCOM list,
never spell it out
– Spell out on first use
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 4: Trim the “fat”
• Use acronyms
– Do not spell out equipment designations (be
sure to identify what it is, i.e. aircraft, weapons
system, etc.
•
Use symbols to save space ($, &, /, K, M)
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 4: Trim the “fat”
• Say as much in as little space possible as long as
bullet remains effective
Example:
- He is dedicated to the pursuit of academic excellence and the completion
of a degree
OR
- Dedicated to academic excellence/degree completion
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 5: Edit
• Look for and replace words that are repeated in
the EPR - especially adjectives like 'outstanding'
• If it needs to be read more than once to be easily
understood, reword it
• Delete the fluff/filler words/space and add results
• Limit common phrases to no more than twice in
an EPR
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION
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Step 6: Use correct bullet punctuation
• Three periods (…) take more space than a (;), (/),
or (--)
• Semicolons (;) should come after the action if
there is additional actions or details in the bullet
before you get to the result
– They separate related thoughts that aren’t
joined by a conjunction (and, but, or, etc)
– Semicolons break up multiple facts in a bullet
that are loosely related
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 6: Use correct bullet punctuation
• The double dash (--) is used after the last 'action'
and right before the result
Example:
- Repaired 15 master cylinders; created new
renovation process--ensured 100% mission
capability
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HOW MANY BULLETS?
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HOW MANY BULLETS?

Each bullet should be ONE line - when possible
Wrap around bullets can be used, but 99% can be boiled down to
one line

Sub-bullets should only be used if there’s more
information than can fit in a one line bullet
• The main bullet should have a distinctive
accomplishment and result
Occasionally you may need the entire first bullet to
spell out the accomplishment, but keep it to a
minimum
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HOW MANY BULLETS?
-- Each sub-bullet should ATTEMPT to have
a distinctive accomplishment of its own, but
a clear result is absolutely MANDATORY
-- The result should be unrelated to the result
in the previous bullet/sub-bullet
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HOW MANY BULLETS?
Example 1:
- Led emergency shipment of $90M in assets 2 days
early--rapid shipping saved $3K in A/C costs
-- Shipment timeline smashed ACC estimate by 50%-received 4 FW/CC coin for A+ planning
-- Early shipment permitted preemptive strike on 300
enemy troops--effort lauded by COMEUCOM
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HOW MANY BULLETS?
Example 2 (Before):
- Superior knowledge of F-16 aircraft, ability to
communicate and work well with others makes him a firstrate maintenance instructor; this is evident by the
numerous positive comments denoted on the end of course
critiques
-- His quality instruction on the F-16 aircraft and attention
to detail resulted in all his students receiving 100 percent
pass rate on all end of course Wing Quality Assurance
Evaluations—a maintenance training benchmark
-- A direct result of the extra time he spends with students
who have a weakness in performance of critical tasks
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HOW MANY BULLETS?
Example 2 (After):
- Superior knowledge of F-16; first-rate maintenance
instructor--consistently praised on end of course critiques
- Gifted instructor; 100% pass rate on Wing Quality
Assurance Evaluations--a maintenance training
benchmark
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HOW MANY BULLETS?

Community service/self-improvement bullets should
be no more than one line long
While they are important, they should not monopolize
an EPR.
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive
• A1C and Below
– Leadership in different areas; special projects
they took on and excelled (this sets them up for
BTZ)
– 2-3 community service bullets/extra curricular
activities they led (e.g. helped organize Christmas
party)
– Highlight fast CDC completion or excellent EOC
scores
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive
• SrA
– More focus on leadership than working
– Highlight programs they ran, people they taught,
operations they crew chiefed
– Note higher level responsibility
– DG/John Levitow at ALS
– Participation in Honor Guard
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP
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Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive
• SSgt
– Roughly 40% on leadership of others and projects
– Less on working, more on management and
increased responsibility
– Exceptional CDC progress/completion
– Educational accomplishments demonstrate a
willingness to lead/learn
– Leadership in community service programs
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP
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Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive
• TSgt
– 60% or more on leadership of personnel
– Stress their performance of primary duties listed
on the front of the EPR
– Focus on programs they ran above their normal
duties
– Stress plans they revised/created, shops they
helped setup or reorganize
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP
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Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive
• TSgt (Con’t)
– Management of schedules/workload/personnel/
equipment/facilities/budget/training programs, etc
– Stress their performance of primary duties listed
on the front of the EPR
– 2 bullets on community service; something they
helped coordinate
– Awards at NCOA; ways they broaden and
perfected their technical expertise and
supervisory techniques
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP
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Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive
• MSgt/SMSgt
– 80% or more on leadership; show transition to
operational leader
– Excellence in primary duty; acceptance of
additional duties; chair of external programs
– State impact to unit/wing/MAJCOM/Air Force
– OPLANS, CONPLANS, FOIs authored/implemented
– Process improvements
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP
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All EPRs, regardless of rank, should include the
following:
• Pursuance of any college or continued education
• Receipt of any awards or coins from commanders
• Implementation of their idea/process at the group or
above level
• Heroic acts
• Out of cycle promotion (BTZ, STEP)
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TRIM THE "FAT"
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TRIM THE "FAT"
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Is it a valid self-improvement? Is it relevant to the
Air Force?
Example:
- Dedicated to fitness and personal well-being;quit
smoking habit
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TRIM THE "FAT"
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Is the accomplishment at the member’s level of
responsibility?
- Don’t cut/paste bullets from an airman’s EPR
onto an NCO’s EPR
- If an airman did the work, the NCO’s EPR should
reflect how he led the work
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TRIM THE "FAT"
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Is the education meaningful?
Example:
- Dedicated to continued education--actively enrolled in
Community College of the Air Force
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TRIM THE "FAT"
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Is the education meaningful?
• Must be additional classes taken in pursuit of a
degree
• Included the GPA if it’s outstanding
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TRIM THE "FAT"

Delete the fillers
- That “say nothing” first bullet to “set the stage”
Example:
-Airman Smith is a superior performer with boundless
initiative; trusted to get the job done
- Effective stage setting:
• State an outstanding achievement that directly
relates to primary duties
• List a significant award received (Flt NCO of Year)
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TRIM THE "FAT"

Delete the fillers
- The first indication of fluff is when unquantifiable
words are used
Example:
Several, many, dozens, immeasurably, all
- Led review of all training records prior to Nov 04 UCI
Inspection--corrected several discrepancies
Correction:
- Led review of 192 training records prior to Nov 04 UCI
inspection--corrected 37 discrepancies
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TRIM THE "FAT"

Delete meaningless “power adjectives”
Example:
Outstanding, impressive, superior, terrific
- Outstanding! Led 15 people during shipment of 28 pallets
of munitions--completed 2 hours early
• “Outstanding!” didn’t do more than take up 12
letters
• Use the space to build accomplishment
• If the action is truly outstanding, the facts will
speak for themselves
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TRIM THE "FAT"

Delete meaningless “power adjectives”
Better Example:
– Led 15 people in shipment of 28 munitions pallets;
completed 2 hrs early--set ACC benchmark
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TRIM THE "FAT"
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“Fat” Indicators:
• “Greatly improved…”
• “Reduced workarounds…”
• “Improved safety…”
These phrases lack quantification
• “Assisted with…”
A weak, passive expression that sounds like someone
played a minor role.
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
Start off by saying, he/she supervises XX personnel. In the case of SrA, they might not
supervise someone. Then list the specific duties they perform starting with the most to
least important. Numbers should be listed when available. For instance, if they
warehouse items, list the $$ amount or number of items. For AB/AMN/A1C, this
block is helpful to show responsibility for BTZ consideration.
ADDITIONAL DUTIES: List significant (long term) duties. If an airman doesn’t have
at least 1 additional duty, the supervisor isn’t doing his/her job.
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
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There are 4 blocks in each category: “fails to meet
the standard”, “meets the standard”, “exceeds
standards”, “exemplifies standards”
• Original intent: “meets the standard” = on par with peers
Anything to the right was a mark up
• Current thinking: any markings to left of “exceeds
standards” was considered a mark down
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
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Markings should be honest and reflect performance
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Ensure that you are providing timely feedbacks
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Document poor performance
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Ratees should never be blindsided by EPR markings
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
AF Form 910 (Amn - TSgt)
- Managed 50 T.O. accounts; corrected 27 discrepancies--zero defects on 12 QA inspections
- Rewrote master storage plan to rewarehouse 7 bldgs; reclaimed 27% space--done 2 days early
- Organized workout program for 20 Airmen; annihilated personal fitness test--top 10% of sqdn
- First-5 organization Treasurer; organized carwash to support squadron picnic--raised $537
- Led 5 person crew palletizing 50K chaff/flare for AEF 5/6; done 8 hrs early--no discrepancies
- Completed 5-lvl upgrade rqmts 3 months early--outstanding 94% on CDC end of course exam
- Authored new fire symbol update process; cut notification time in half--QA fails down 22%
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
AF Form 910 (Amn - TSgt)
-The most important bullet in this block--highlight exceptional performance of primary duties
-Save your 2 best bullets for line 1 of blocks V & VI, the strongest of the 2 goes in block VI
-After first 2 bullets, talk about additional duty--avoid wrap around bullets at all costs
-- No bullet more than one line and no more than 2 sub-bullets for each main bullet
-- Avoid fancy adjectives--if you delete the flowery words, can it stand alone?
-Things affecting the flight/squadron should go in block V--save the bigger things for block VI
-3rd and 2nd to last bullets in this block are good places for community service and school
-No single community service activity will warrant more than one line or bullet
- Stratify here or list major awards rec’d--this bullet should agree with the front markings
-1st bullet should enhance bullet 1 in block V--also a good place to mention special honors
-Things that affected the squadron, group, wing and Air Force should go here
- No single community service activity will warrant more than one line or bullet
- The most important bullet in an EPR--list major awards like BTZ, Sqdn NCO of Yr, etc
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Any derogatory comments or
mention of administrative action
in these blocks will make this a
referral EPR
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
AF Form 911 (MSgt - CMSgt)
- Exceptional SNCO; selected as 4 FW Maintenance Professional of the Year for 2004
- Detected test set defect causing AIM-9 failures; developed new process--implemented AF-wide
- Authored new expenditure FOI; reduced form routing 32%--accountability errors down 30%
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
Start off here by saying, he/she supervises XX personnel, then list the specific duties they
perform starting with the most to least important. Numbers are CRUCIAL. If they were an
account custodian, put in the $$ amount or number of items. Board members care
VOLUMES more about what this block says than they do about the Duty Title. This
section demonstrates their level of responsibility, whereas the Duty Title is just a flowery
way to say it.
ADDITIONAL DUTIES: List significant (long term) duties
Any 'mark down' on a SNCO EPR very likely will
disqualify the member from senior rater endorsement and
guarantees they won’t be promoted that cycle.
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
-The most important bullet--highlight exceptional performance in primary duty
-The 2nd bullet builds on 1st and reinforces performance in primary duty
-Accomplishments should relate to the flight/unit level--save higher levels for bottom
-- Best to use sub-bullets here rather than in lower blocks
-- No bullet should be more than 1 line and no more than 2 sub-bullets per main line
- The 2nd to last bullet should be hard hitting community service bullet--leadership
- #1 of ## MSgts assigned; flt SNCO of Yr for 2005; absolutely ready for promotion
- Bullet needs to address primary duties and reinforce line 1 above--the 2 must agree
- Avoid sub-bullets in this block unless absolutely necessary, then only one
-As last line in block V, stratify and list squadron or group recognition
- Line 1 & 5 are the most important bullets in the entire EPR--talk primary duties
- Use only single bullets--all bullets should be high level impacts
- Focus on events affecting the Wing, MAJCOM, Air Force--no community service here
- Stratify here/list major items MAJCOM/AF-level awards--this is 1st bullet noticed
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
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Multi-line bullets should not be the first or last bullet
in any block
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The level of impact should increase from top to
bottom (Wing/MAJCOM/Air Force)

Major wing or higher level awards should be bullet
#1 in the endorser’s block
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Bullets should indicate at what level an award was
won
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QUANTIFICATION

Quantify whenever you can….numbers add up

Specific numbers are more believable than round or
commonly used numbers
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COMMON MISTAKES
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COMMON MISTAKES

AFFECT - (verb) to influence, to have an impact
on something.
Sticking your head in the toilet affects your ability to
breath.

EFFECT - (noun) the end result.
The effect of the bomb was similar to what my house
looks like after the kids eat too much sugar.
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COMMON MISTAKES

RATE - A quantity, a number
The inventory had a 100% accountability rate.

RATING - A grade, a result
The IG team gave them an overall rating of excellent.

LAY - To place, to put down
Please lay your gun down until you're sober.

LIE - To recline
Lie down before you fall down.
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COMMON MISTAKES

ENSURE - To make certain, to watch closely, to
guarantee
His careful management of the budget ensured they
had enough money for the entire year.

INSURE - To provide insurance for
You insure your car so it gets replaced if you crash it.

ASSURE - To promise, to pledge
I assure you, I won’t knock over a liquor store this
weekend.
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COMMON MISTAKES

ACCEPT - To receive
I'd like to thank the academy and accept this Oscar on
behalf of my fans.

EXCEPT - omit, set apart from
He'd be a great politician, except for those 3 or 4 felony
convictions.
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COMMON MISTAKES
 MORALE - Spirit, sense of wellbeing
The morale at this base needs to improve.
 MORAL - Personal value
Moral people don’t appear on Jerry Springer.
 THAN - comparison
My wife is more beautiful than anyone I know.
 THEN - reference to time
If we get nose rings, then we'll be cool.
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COMMON MISTAKES
 THERE (two most common uses)
- [adverb] - a specific place
Stand over there.
- [pronoun] - used to introduce a clause or a
sentence
There is never a good reason to drink and drive.
 THEIR - describes ownership
It's their party, so they'll cry if they want to.
 THEY'RE - they are
They're going to prison.
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EPR vs AWARD

EPR
• 28 Lines to paint a 1-year picture (33 SNCO)
• Permanent history of accomplishments
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Monthly or Quarterly Awards
• More freedom with abbreviations/acronyms
• Time critical…will help build that bigger picture
• Career field awards have specified criteria
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WINNING PACKAGES
Wing Airman of Month Winner
–
Troubleshot MA-3D compressor for not engaging; isolated
bad HPCO switch--abated $22K procurement costs
–
Replaced MA-3D triple drive gearbox, blower/compressor
clutch in 8 hrs--critical unit FMC in half std time!
–
#1 of 33 Amn! Led AGE mx efforts in support of OIF
missions--drove in-commission rate up 22% in 3 weeks
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WINNING PACKAGES
Winning NCO Hard Charger
– Led production of 359K flight/ground meals; supported over
1.3K combat sorties; best in ACC/CENTAF AOR
– Managed largest FKO in AF 12 military/77 TCN's/$1.5M food
service contract; "coined" by CENTCOM/CC
– Led section test/integration of $350K CFS accountant software
system; benchmarked by CENTAF for AOR!
– Accounts for 12K tons of rations worth $891K/$471K in
purchases/$567K in issues; "coined" by SECAF
– Brainchild vendor delivery process for aircrew operations;
saved AF $57K; won "CC's Excellence Award"
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PRACTICAL EXERCISE
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Summary

Why Write a Quality EPR?
 Bullet Construction
 How Many Bullets?
 Level of Leadership
 Trim the “Fat”
 Markings on the EPR
 Quantification
 Common Mistakes
 EPR vs Award
 Winning Packages
 Summary
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SOMETHING TO REMEMBER
When the constitution was written, that was the
style of penmanship for the times.
Language changes…as is evident by our ever growing
Webster’s Dictionary.
What may be acceptable writing today, may not be
acceptable 1,3 or 5 years from now.
When one thinketh ahead, we inevitability prepareth
our future lineage for success!
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