Transcript A Valediction Forbidding Mourning

Student IB Oral Commentary on
John Donne’s
A Valediction Forbidding Mourning
IB moderator evaluation & notes
Criterion A: Knowledge and understanding of the poem: 4/5
 Student shows real engagement with the poem.
 Good knowledge and good understanding of its content, for
example the significance of the various conceits.
 Genuine attempt to place the poem meaningfully alongside
other examples of Donne’s intellectual love poems, and to
show how the poem would fit into the accepted critical
notions of the metaphysical group of poets and the
conventions and ideas of the time.
E Too much understanding is missing or passed over of the
way the poem’s conceits are ordered and built up to
persuade the persona’s wife or lover to not mourn his
departure & absence; thus, while solidly a 4, this
Commentary fails to address this critical component for it
to reach the level of “excellent” required for 5 Marks.
Criterion B: Appreciation of the writer’s choices: 4/5
 Valid and generally detailed interpretation of the thought and
feeling in the poem…
E However, student does not show full awareness of the
argument that Donne is using to convince or reassure.
 Ample awareness of the individual images…
E But the occasional misreading would have been avoided if the
student had perceived more of the logical or intellectual
connections that the poet asserts between them.
E The lack of Donne’s sense of wit—and a full understanding of
the links between the images in his conceits—stops the student
from grasping the exciting force of the unusual metaphors, for
example, when she sees richness rather than expansion as being
the central ground of the gold leaf comparison.
 Ample awareness of literary devices…
E However, the precise nature or effect of these devices is not
always analyzed.
E Remarks about rhyme, meter, caesura and monosyllables
suggest that the student is on the right road but still has some
way to go before real exploration and appreciation of effect take
precedence over literal explanation.
E The component parts of critical analysis are beginning to fall into
place but are not yet as strong as her clear engagement with
and enjoyment of the poem.
Criterion C: Organization & presentation of the commentary: 3/5
 Student places the poem within the larger context of
metaphysical poetry and establishes it within an ostensible
dramatic setting.
 She then discusses some key characteristics, such as the
measured argument” and the “blend of thought and feeling”.
E However, it appears she has no further structure in place &
seems to move around the poem at random, picking on details
of imagery, thought and diction in a serendipitous way.
 References to supporting details, though, is central to her
presentation, which settles finally on an agenda of
characteristics of metaphysical poems in general…
E However, focus is too broad for a Commentary, which
should focus on explaining the effects of this poem in
particular, referring to its relevance to a broader school of
thought as part of establishing context.
Use of language: 4/5
This is a very articulate student with great clarity in her
language, for example expressions such as comparing the
persona’s love with that of “mundane” people, the ideas
are “domiciled,” & noting the role of “elemental forces.”
Among techniques addressed are imagery, onomatopoeia,
the a-b-a-b rhyme scheme, & caesurae.
E Several statements are begun then reworded midsentence; thus, concision suffers & some points become
obscured.