Conflict management skills & tools
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Transcript Conflict management skills & tools
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT:
UTILIZING CONFLICT STYLES
STRATEGICALLY
PRESENTED BY MARY CHAVEZ RUDOLPH &
LISA NEALE – OMBUDS OFFICE
July 26, 2012
Today’s Agenda
Introduction/Ombuds Office
Conflict Management Skills
Conflict is Inevitable
Personal / Professional
Process and/or Content
Conflict Styles –use in managing conflict
Conflict Scenarios – what would you do?
Summary: Conflict Management Skills
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Conflict Management…
Word Association with “conflict”
In what areas in your life do you
encounter conflict?
Steps in Managing Conflict
Think of a conflict
you’ve had recently …
-use the handout provided
as we progress through
the slides
Step 1: Managing Emotion
How did
you feel in
your last
conflict?
Mad, sad,
confused,
fearful?
What
strategies do you
use to manage your
emotions?
Step 2: Analyzing the Conflict
This may be
difficult to do
until you
control
emotion.
Asking
yourself
questions
helps control
emotion.
Content / Process /
Relationship
What are your goals?
Identify your options
Content / Process / Relationship
Jot down if you
think your issue is
primarily a
content issue, a
process issue, or
both.
Identify what is
process and what
is content.
Content: “What” are having
conflict about?
Process: “How” are you
treating each other when
you discuss the issue? Are
you communicating at all?
Relationship
Goal / Intent / Motivation
Jot down
your
goals for
this
situation.
Think:
LONG
TERM!
What is the ideal
outcome of this situation?
Identifying your Options:
Conflict Styles
Jot down
what you did
of these
options
a
This could be
your
preferred
conflict style.
In your example conflict,
What did you do?
Give in?
Try to win?
Seek a compromise?
Try and understand the
other person’s perspective?
Ignore or side-step issue?
Assessing Your Conflict Style
Most people have one or two preferred
styles
Helpful to know that you have other
options and the option you choose should
be dependent on the results you want to
achieve
There is no right or wrong style
Concern
for Self
Competing
Collaborating
(win/lose)
(win/win)
Compromising
(win/win) (lose/lose)
Avoiding
Accommodating
(lose/lose)
Concern for Others
(win/lose)
AVOIDING
How do people act when using this style?
Diplomatically side-step the issue, ignore, hide,
procrastinate, deny there is a problem
When would you use this style?
When it isn’t important to you, not worth it to
engage
When wouldn’t you use this style?
When the conflict continues, no one’s needs are
being met
ACCOMMODATING
What behaviors are present with this style?
Smiling, listening, giving in, obeying,
apologizing
When would you use this style?
It’s not that important to you, not necessary to
understand other person’s interests
When wouldn’t you use this style?
A fast decision is needed, not a lot of
commitment involved in the process
COMPETING
How do people act when using this style?
Assert their position, debate, shout, interrupt, do
not give in, possible physical contact/violence
When would you use this style?
Emergencies, when you are being taken
advantage of/manipulated, when you really
want to win
When wouldn’t you use this style?
When the relationship takes precedence over
your winning
COLLABORATING
How do people act when using this style?
Listen, identify interests, explore issue in depth, find
ways to improve relationship
When would you use this style?
Long-term relationships, you have the time to
commit to the process, you want a lot of buy-in,
involvement
When wouldn’t you use this style?
Time factor, leadership is more important, situation
does not require this process
COMPROMISING
How do people act when using this style?
Make concessions, seek to split the difference, find
happy medium
When would you use this style?
When you don’t have the time and energy, need
for a fast solution, relationship isn’t that important
When wouldn’t you use this style?
When determining interests to enhance the
relationship is more important than a quick
solution
When to use which style…
How much time to do you have (i.e., does action
need to be taken immediately?)
What have you already tried?
How important is the issue to you?
Is there a relationship?
Is there a possibility you are wrong?
Has this ever happened before?
Is there a difference in power?
Summary: Skills for Managing Conflict
Manage Emotion / Think
Determine your Goals
Decide on a Strategy (conflict style)
Separate Positions from Interests
Consider Timing and Setting
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Benefit of the Doubt
Active Listening
Reflect Emotion
“I“ Statements
Positions and Interests
Positions are specific proposals or
solutions that a party suggests to meet
his/her interests or needs. A position is
usually only one solution to a given
problem. In many cases, that solution is
satisfactory only to the person suggesting
it. Positions are often rigid and offer
limited flexibility.
Positions and Interests, cont.
Interests are needs that a party wants to
have satisfied. The most powerful
interests are basic human needs:
security
economic well-being
a sense of belonging
recognition
control over one's life
respect
Scenario:
A co-worker recently stopped friendly
conversations with you. You are unsure why.
Yesterday, this co-worker came into your office,
slammed the door shut behind her, and began
screaming at you for not completing an important
report. After a few minutes of screaming, she left
your office.
What conflict styles have you used? What other
options do you have at this point?
Concern
for Self
Competing
Collaborating
(win/lose)
(win/win)
Compromising
(win/win) (lose/lose)
Avoiding
Accommodating
(lose/lose)
Concern for Others
(win/lose)
We Are Here to Help!
The Ombuds Office is on both
campuses:
Anschutz – Building 500, Room
7005C
Downtown – CU Denver Bldg,
Room 107P
www.ucdenver.edu/ombuds