Transcript Language exam – Mock Feedback

Knowing your extract OMAM
Read this extract and set as many exam questions as
possible.
"You got no rights comin' in a colored man's room. You got
no rights messing around in here at all. Now you jus' get out,
an' get out quick. If you don't, I'm gonna ast the boss not to
ever let you come in the barn no more. " She turned on him
in scorn. "Listen, Nigger, " she said. "You know what I can do
to you if you open. Your trap?" Crooks stared hopelessly at
her, and then he sat down on his bunk and drew into
himself. She closed on him. "You know what I could do?"
Crooks seemed to grow smaller, and he pressed? himself
against the wall. "Yes, ma'am. " "Well, you keep your place
then, Nigger. I could get you strung up on a tree so easy it
ain't even funny. " Crooks had reduced himself to nothing.
There was no personality, no ego-nothing to arouse either
like or dislike. He said, "Yes, ma'am, " and his voice was
toneless. For a moment she stood over him. As though
waiting for him to move so that she could whip at him again;
but Crooks sat perfectly still, his eyes averted, everything
that might be hurt drawn in. She turned at last to the other
two. Old Candy was watching her, fascinated. "If you was to
do that, we'd tell, " he said quietly. "We'd tell about you
framin' Crooks.
1. Find 3 language features.
2. Language lift
3. 3 paragraphs.
Explore how the language in this
extract influences the reader’s
view of_________________
1. Language features
2. Language lift
3. PEEL paragraph
Crooks sat perfectly still, his eyes averted,
everything that might be hurt drawn in.
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Knowing your extract TKAM
Read this extract and set as many exam questions as possible.
The back of the Radley house was less inviting than the front: a ramshackle porch ran the width of the house; there were two doors
and two dark windows between the doors. Instead of a column, a rough two-by-four supported one end of the roof. An old Franklin
stove sat in a corner of the porch; above it a hat-rack mirror caught the moon and shone eerily.
“Ar-r,” said Jem softly, lifting his foot. “‘Smatter?”
“Chickens,” he breathed. That we would be obliged to dodge the unseen from all directions was confirmed when Dill ahead of us
spelled G-o-d in a whisper. We crept to the side of the house, around to the window with the hanging shutter. The sill was several
inches taller than Jem.
“Give you a hand up,” he muttered to Dill. “Wait, though.” Jem grabbed his left wrist and my right wrist, I grabbed my left wrist and
Jem’s right wrist, we crouched, and Dill sat on our saddle. We raised him and he caught the window sill.
“Hurry,” Jem whispered, “we can’t last much longer.”
Dill punched my shoulder, and we lowered him to the ground. “What’d you see?”
“Nothing. Curtains. There’s a little teeny light way off somewhere, though.”
“Let’s get away from here,” breathed Jem.
“Let’s go ‘round in back again. Sh-h,” he warned me, as I was about to protest. “Let’s try the back window.”
“Dill, no,” I said. Dill stopped and let Jem go ahead. When Jem put his foot on the bottom step, the step squeaked. He stood still, then
tried his weight by degrees. The step was silent. Jem skipped two steps, put his foot on the porch, heaved himself to it, and teetered a
long moment. He regained his balance and dropped to his knees. He crawled to the window, raised his head and looked in.
Then I saw the shadow. It was the shadow of a man with a hat on. At first I thought it was a tree, but there was no wind blowing, and
tree-trunks never walked. The back porch was bathed in moonlight, and the shadow, crisp as toast, moved across the porch toward
Jem.
Dill saw it next. He put his hands to his face. When it crossed Jem, Jem saw it. He put his arms over his head and went rigid. The
shadow stopped about a foot beyond Jem. Its arm came out from its side, dropped, and was still. Then it turned and moved back
across Jem, walked along the porch and off the side of the house, returning as it had come. Jem leaped off the porch and galloped
toward us. He flung open the gate, danced Dill and me through, and shooed us between two rows of swishing collards. Halfway
through the collards I tripped; as I tripped the roar of a shotgun shattered the neighborhood.
Jekyll and Hyde – opening points
A) In this extract the reader discovers that
Utterson is…
B) The language used to describe Hyde in this
extract has a _________ effect on the reader.
C) The theme of suspicion is presented in this
extract when____________. This is
significant because__________________.
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““that changes things, doesn’t it?” “It do,” another
deep voice said. Its owner was a shadow. “
a) Explore how the language in this extract influences the reader’s view of the event
involving the Lynch mob.
16 marks
b) In this extract, Jem and Scout are affected by a challenging situation.
Explore one other part of the novel in which Jem and Scout face a challenging
situation.
24 marks
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Extract taken from chapter 15
In ones and twos, men got out of the cars. Shadows became substance as lights revealed solid shapes moving toward
the jail door. Atticus remained where he was. The men hid him from view.
“He in there, Mr. Finch?” a man said. “He is,” we heard Atticus answer, “and he’s asleep. Don’t wake him up.”
In obedience to my father, there followed what I later realized was a sickeningly comic aspect of an unfunny situation:
the men talked in near-whispers. “You know what we want,” another man said. “Get aside from the door, Mr. Finch.”
“You can turn around and go home again, Walter,” Atticus said pleasantly. “Heck Tate’s around somewhere.”
“The hell he is,” said another man. “Heck’s bunch’s so deep in the woods they won’t get out till mornin‘.”
“Indeed? Why so?”
“Called ‘em off on a snipe hunt,” was the succinct answer. “Didn’t you think a’that, Mr. Finch?” “
Thought about it, but didn’t believe it. Well then,” my father’s voice was still the same, “that changes things, doesn’t it?”
“It do,” another deep voice said. Its owner was a shadow.
“Do you really think so?” This was the second time I heard Atticus ask that question in two days, and it meant
somebody’s man would get jumped. This was too good to miss. I broke away from Jem and ran as fast as I could to
Atticus.
Jem shrieked and tried to catch me, but I had a lead on him and Dill. I pushed my way through dark smelly bodies and
burst into the circle of light.
“H-ey, Atticus!” I thought he would have a fine surprise, but his face killed my joy. A flash of plain fear was going out of
his eyes, but returned when Dill and Jem wriggled into the light.
There was a smell of stale whiskey and pigpen about, and when I glanced around I discovered that these men were
strangers. They were not the people I saw last night. Hot embarrassment shot through me: I had leaped triumphantly
into a ring of people I had never seen before. Atticus got up from his chair, but he was moving slowly, like an old man. He
put the newspaper down very carefully, adjusting its creases with lingering fingers. They were trembling a little. “Go
home, Jem,” he said. “Take Scout and Dill home.”
We were accustomed to prompt, if not always cheerful acquiescence to Atticus’s instructions, but from the way he stood
Jem was not thinking of budging. “Go home, I said.” Jem shook his head. As Atticus’s fists went to his hips, so did Jem’s,
and as they faced each other I could see little resemblance between them: Jem’s soft brown hair and eyes, his oval face
and snug-fitting ears were our mother’s, contrasting oddly with Atticus’s graying black hair and square-cut features, but
they were somehow alike. Mutual defiance made them alike.
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English Language
rd
3
June 2014
Mock Feedback Section A
Lesson objectives
1. To self evaluate your responses.
2. To develop key improvements/developments in
your answers.
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Language exam section A
Mice and Men
a) 16 marks – 2/3 paragraphs – 20 minutes
b) 24 marks – 3/4 paragraphs – 40 minutes
This includes planning and reading time.
For b) introduce your work with the ONE extract you have
chosen. – Another extract for the theme of loneliness is
on pg 52 of chapter 4 when crooks is talking to Lennie.
What is the difference?
What are the differences between candidate A
and Candidate B?
Which one is better?
What grades do they get?
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Your Mocks
Task 1: Annotate your mocks for ‘the GOOD and the BAD’ elements.
GOOD
1. A clear opening point about the topic.
2. The ‘best’ quotes from the extract.
3. Identifying the language feature.
4. Re-quoting the key words.
5. Multiple comments and interpretations –
language lift.
6. Clearly stating the influence of the
language.
7. An original evaluation.
8. Writing enough.
BAD
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Mono-syllabic adjectives.
Missing the best quotes.
Missing or incorrectly identifying the feature.
Giving a definition of the language feature.
Basic comments – explaining what the quote
means.
Forgetting the audience and the author.
Incompleteness.
Task 2: Redraft your ‘worst’ paragraph from of your mock, focus on
including the ‘GOOD’ and avoiding the ‘BAD’ and address your EBI(s).
#BAD to GOOD
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Which is better?
How is Pizza like
writing for Section B?
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Grabbing attention
Task: Persuade me to eat pizza.
My pizza is really nice.
How can I grab the reader’s attention?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
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Grabbing Attention
1. Pizza. It’s the food of the gods; dish of the people.
2. What kind of person doesn’t eat pizza?
3. Although it is only bread, cheese and tomato, studies
show that pizza can make your life better.
4. Excitedly I rush to the door. Hurriedly I hand over the
cash, run to the kitchen and eagerly I peep inside the box.
At last my love affair with pizza can begin again.
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English Language
rd
3
June 2014
Mock Feedback Section B
Lesson objectives
1. To self evaluate your writing.
2. To develop key improvements/developments in
your writing.
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The importance of variety
The rules:
1. Don’t use the same sentence types constantly.
2. Use short sentences to grab attention.
3. Use longer more complex sentences to build your content.
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Section B – Writing for different
audiences and purposes
What you are assessed on:
1. Did you achieve the purpose of the task?
2. Is the writing appropriate for the audience?
3. A variety of sentence starters.
4. A variety of sentence structures.
5. Accurate use of paragraphs.
6. Use of connectives.
7. Accurate punctuation for effect.
8. Interesting vocabulary.
9. Language techniques.
10. Spelling.
Did you write enough?
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Section B – Writing for different
audiences and purposes
What you should avoid:
1. Mono-syllabic adjectives.
2. Boring introductions – “I am writing this letter…”
3. Sentences all the same length.
4. Slang, informal or basic language.
5. 4 line paragraphs.
6. 15 line paragraphs.
7. Don’t take the piss.
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Your Mocks
Task 1: Annotate your mocks for ‘the GOOD and the BAD’
elements.
GOOD
1. Attention grabbing opening.
2. Starting sentences in different ways –
adjective, adverb, subject, connective, verb.
3. Range of sophisticated punctuation – question
mark, exclamation, colon, semi colon.
4. Persuasive techniques – AFORREST etc.
5. Interesting vocabulary.
6. Connectives so build a structure – secondly,
moving on, in conclusion etc.
BAD
1.
Mono-syllabic adjectives.
2.
Boring introductions – “I am writing this
letter…”
3.
Sentences all the same length.
4.
Slang, informal or basic language.
5.
4 line paragraphs.
6.
15 line paragraphs.
7.
Don’t take the piss.
Task 2: Redraft 3 paragraphs from of your mock, focus on including
the ‘GOOD’ and avoiding the ‘BAD’ and address your EBI(s).
#BAD to GOOD
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What is the difference?
What are the differences between candidate A
and Candidate B?
Which one is better?
What grades do they get?
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Practice questions
You have found out that a large cinema in your area is closing down. Write a letter to
the local newspaper which gives your suggestions for how the cinema site could be
redeveloped.
Write an article for a teenage magazine in which you suggest fitness activities that you
think young people would enjoy.
Write the text for the homepage of a website that aims to encourage young people to
work for voluntary organisations.
Write a speech aimed at your head teacher and governors giving suggestions for how
your school could be improved.
Write an article for a teenage magazine advising them of how best to prepare for
exams.
You have found out that your school plans to ban Saturday jobs for students. Write a
letter to the governors expressing your concern for this proposal.
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