Transcript How to Write a Super-Duper College Admissions Essay!

AP Literature & Composition
Monday, September 26, 2008
Presentation adapted from the following
materials: McGraw-Hill’s Writing an
Outstanding College Application Essay
(2005); Rudy Santacruz’s presentation; UC
Berkeley Admissions Presentation

This is your opportunity to:

Introduce yourself to the people who are trying to decide
whether or not to invite you to their campus.

Imagine it is a face-to-face interview…what would you say?

The most important thing is to BE YOURSELF!

Show that you are effective communicator (e.g., literate
and engaging).

Provide information to support/explain the rest of your
application.




This includes filling in any gaps or answering any
questions/issues that may be raised by your application.
This is also your opportunity to include anything that is not
mentioned elsewhere in your application.
Differentiate yourself from other students with similar
applications.
Remember that you only get ONE chance to make a first
impression!

Do not use your essay to restate information that
is already in your application or to list every
accomplishment, activity, award, or personal
quality.

Focus on one aspect of your life in each essay.
Examine the prompt carefully so you know
exactly what is required.
 Brainstorm and see if there are any topics with
potential.
 Keep an open mind.
 Focus on aspects of your life that you are
passionate about, that describe who you are as
a person, that are relevant to your future goals,
and that show you will be a successful college
student.


What type of essay will I write?


Think of this as a narrative: you are telling a story, with
lots of concrete details, to an audience in order to capture
their interest and help them to understand you better
What tone will my essay have?

Formal or informal, objective or personal, serious or
humorous, sarcastic or reverent, etc.

Remember to be appropriate and not negative

Also, avoid clichés and attempts to be wildly creative or
hilariously funny—the odds of achieving the effect you
intend are probably not good.

The tone you choose should be reflective of your
personality. Don’t try to be someone you are not.
For Discussion: Think about one or two words that you
would use to describe your personality or that others
would use to characterize you. What tone best
conveys these words?

Write with a focus and a clear voice.

Pay attention to clarity of thought, organization, and syntax.


Engage the reader.


Nothing is more awkward or turns readers off more than the use of
pompous or inappropriate words. Imagine you are having a
conversation with the reader (but again, be appropriate).
Keep it within the assigned word count.


YOU NEED TO INCLUDE CONCRETE EXAMPLES!!!
Avoid sounding like a thesaurus.


Your narrative should have a conversational, yet appropriate,
tone.
Illuminate your ideas with details, examples, and anecdotes.


This also includes things like tense consistency, use of active voice,
etc.
UC: 1000 words total; no less than 250 words
Check to see that you have addressed ALL the requirements of
the prompt.

Remember: minimum eligibility will NOT get you accepted

Leadership (consistency)

This cannot be emphasized enough, even if you were “only” a
participant
Improvement
 Academic Challenge (rigor)
 Overcoming Struggles


Remember not to complain or make excuses—use this
opportunity to take responsibility and show the readers how
you have overcome obstacles in your life
Involvement in your community (consistency)
 Extracurriculars (consistency again)



It is not just about what you did in high school, but about
what you will bring to the university of your choice.
Did you take advantage of the opportunities that were
given to you, or did you waste them?

The last question readers will ask themselves, after reading
your entire application, is “What more could this student have
done?”
Your essay should grab the reader’s attention (make
your voice heard!)
The purpose of the opening is to identify you as a
unique individual and to introduce the topic and the
tone of the essay.



Consider using a quotation (be careful to avoid a cliché),
a piece of dialogue, a rhetorical question, a startling
statement, an engaging anecdote, a challenge, a
revelation, an interesting fact, etc.
Try two or three openings to get you started and get
your creative juices flowing.
May be explicit or implicit:

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
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Explicit response makes direct reference to the words of
the prompt
Implicit response presents a situation that illustrates the
prompt without actually using its exact wording
For Discussion: Thinking back to the words you used to
describe yourself, which opening would work best to
convey those words?

Elaborates on the situation established in the
opening/introduction.

Presents a sense of who the writer is (you).

Consider particular strategies: cause-effect, contrastcomparison, definition, description, exemplification, narration,
etc.

Consider organization: chronological order, most-to-least
important point, least-to-most important point, specific to
general, general to specific, etc.

Consider details: What subtext about you is revealed by your
choice of specifics?
Again, you MUST include CONCRETE EXAMPLES!!!

Consider diction: What does your choice of words reveal about
you?

Consider syntax: What does your sentence structure tell the
reader about your command of the English language?

Consider connective tissue: the words and phrases that link
each of your points to both your opening and the prompt.

Remember: your goal is present yourself as worthy of
consideration for admission to this particular college or
university!!!
Does not need to be a summary or restatement.
May be explicit or implicit.
Some good ideas:




Make a final dramatic point

Reveal an insight gained from the ideas presented in
the body of your essay

Connect yourself to the college (or system of colleges)

Leave the reader with a provocative, final point about
you

Create an open-ended invitation to get to know you
better
Your words form the reader’s initial
impression of you.
The reader will read between the lines
to form an opinion of whether or not
you will be a good fit for their college.
Qualities they are looking for:


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
Enthusiasm
Intelligence
Uniqueness
Scholarship (not $)
Ability to communicate
The fit for this college (do some research!)







Brief, direct responses that provide particular,
concrete information to supplement the other
sections of your application.
Do not use the very same response/wording
from your longer personal essay.
Use your opening to immediately address the
topic without actually repeating it.
Provide specific details that refer only to the
given topic.
Consider each sentence to be capable of
becoming a topic sentence in a longer essay.
Be specific. Be clear. Be direct. Be brief.
Avoid being redundant.




Don’t be afraid to begin en media res
(in the middle of things).
Don’t be afraid to pat yourself on the
back (but don’t gloat, and avoid
pomposity).
If you address a negative topic or issue,
do your best to link it to a positive
outcome or insight.
Choose one facet of an experience, and
polish it for a single effect on the
reader.

Readers consider your application as a whole.


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
Low grades/test scores should not hold you back from applying
Readers use their “parent lens” and try to reward you for
what is good in your application.
UC Readers put your scores in context, so that a top 10%
student at Segerstrom is not viewed in the same light as a
top 10% student from Valley (for example).
Don’t lie—background checks are conducted.
If a college decides it needs more information about you,
they may conduct a deeper review: this means they may
look at first and/or second semester grades, so don’t slack
off!!!
Choosing a major:
If you’re passionate about it? Declare it. If a school is
impacted in that major, it may not be the best fit for you (and
it’s not always easy to transfer in later).
 Choose what you want, not what your parents want. Not only
do you have to study it for four (or more) years, but what if
you don’t get into the school you want because your parents’
preferred major is impacted?

 Describe
the world you come from—for
example, your family, community, or
school—and tell us how your world has
shaped your dreams and aspirations.
 Tell
us about a personal quality, talent,
accomplishment, contribution, or
experience that is important to you.
What about this quality or
accomplishment makes you proud and
how does it relate to the person you are?
 Additional Comments
 Additional names, visa
issues, foster care, etc.
The more information to share, the more the
reviewer gets to know you.
 Describe
anything else that you have not had
the opportunity to include elsewhere in your
application.


500 word limit
Why would you waste this opportunity by leaving
it blank?
 Remember,
the question reviewers ask
themselves at the end of the application is
“What more could this student have done?”