Transcript University and Parents in Partnership

1. Who is this man behind the
news desk?
2. Where would you find phrases
such as these?
#winning
#SGP
#firstworldproblems
#lifewaseasybefore
#sorryimnotsorry
#Bones
3. Who is he and what famous
“decision” did he make?
4. What game does this cartoon
represent?
5. Where can you find these four
celebrities together?
6. Where would you find this
information?
7. On what website would you
find messages like this?
8. Who is this woman and why is
her baby famous?
9. What book, turned movie, is
this symbol from?
10. What do these shirts
represent?
The Millennials
• "Millennials” refers to a specific
cohort of individuals born, roughly,
between 1980-94.
• "Millennials” are primarily children
of Baby Boomers, though some are
children of the older Gen X adults.
• A central characteristic of what
defines "Millennials” is that they
have no memory of the Cold War,
just as Generation X has no memory
of the Vietnam War and the Baby
Boomers have no memory of World
War II.
Characteristics of a
Millennial Student
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Greater sophistication
More informed but less disciplined
Greater group socialization
High levels of stress
and pressure
• Cutting edge
of technology
Common Beliefs
and Behaviors
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Special
Sheltered
Confident
Team-Oriented
Achieving
Pressured
Conventional
Political Views
• Disenchanted with politics and nation’s social
institutions
• Bifurcated in political attitudes
• Liberal in social attitudes
• Socially conscious and active
• Consumer oriented
• Local community focused
Academic Preparation
• Weak in basic skills
• Learn best in ways different
from how they are taught
• Pragmatic
• Career oriented
Personal Attributes
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Sexually active yet socially isolated
Heavy users of alcohol
Hardworking
Frightened, tired, and want security
Demand change
Diverse and divided
Future Outlook
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Committed to doing well and doing good
Idealistic and altruistic
Optimistic about our collective future
Committed to preservation of the American
dream
“Generation Me has so much more than previous
generations – we are healthier, enjoy countless
modern conveniences, and are better educated. But
Generation Me often lacks basic human requirements:
stable close relationships, a sense of community, a
feeling of safety, a simple path to adulthood and the
workplace.”
- Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D.
Generation Me (pg. 136)
The Entitlement Generation
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Shockingly high expectations for salary, job flexibility and duties
Mismatch between expectations and reality
Raised on extensive praise and expect it
Will share sensitive or private information
Need to know WHY something needs to happen and make things
task oriented
Will work well with others from a different background
Formality of Mr. and Mrs. and cleaning up are sometimes lost on
them
Ambitious
Have had an education in excuses and cynicism
Need Career Counseling
Need to learn what they’re good at and what they’re not
– Not motivated by feelings of duty
Developmental Issues
students will face
Social integration (Chickering and Reisser, 1993)
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Developing competence
Managing emotions
Moving through autonomy to
interdependence
Establishing identity
Developing mature relationships
Developing purpose
Developing integrity
Developing
Competence
Developing Competence
Three kinds of competence:
• Intellectual
• Physical and manual
• Interpersonal
Managing Emotions
Managing Emotions
• Developing an understanding/ reading
of personal emotional triggers
• Learning to balance self-assertive
tendencies with participatory ones
• Developing appropriate channels for
releasing irritations and emotions
• Bonding with another or feeling a part of
a group
Moving through
Autonomy to
Interdependence
Moving from Autonomy to
Interdependence
• Emotional independence
• Instrumental independence
• Means respecting the autonomy of
others and looking for give and take
Other Relevant Theories
Perry’s Theory of Intellectual and Educational Development
• Dualism
– Right or wrong
– No shades of grey
Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development
• Level I:
Preconventional
– Avoidance of punishment
– Follow rules if in interest to do so
Evans, N.J., Forney, D.S., Guido-DiBrito, F. (1998).
Student Development in College: Theory, Research, and Practice. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, Inc.
Parent Types
• Helicopter (hovering and
always fixing)
• Lawnmower (mowing
everyone down)
• Bulldozer (destroying
everything in its path)
• Blackhawk (extreme
helicopter)
• Blue Angel Parent ( zooming
in unexpectantly)
Parent Types
• Stealth (secretly hovering from a
distance)
• Stroller (not letting child walk
alone)
• Psycho
• In-Denial (not my perfect angel)
• Lion Parent (roaring and
devouring)
• Mosquito (always poking around
and irritating people)
• Partner
Some Points to Ponder
• What level of involvement is
appropriate, healthy, and
helpful?
• The 90/10 balance—90
percent of life is great, it’s
the 10 percent that we learn
from.
• 24 hour rule…act on
something if it is still an
issue 24 hours later.
Allowing your child to be
uncomfortable
• Facing a challenging professor will help your student
gain life skills to manage a difficult boss
• Managing an uncomfortable situation with classmates
will help your student learn to work with peers and coworkers
• Roommate issues can help your student learn to live
with a partner or spouse
• Dealing with bureaucracy helps your student develop
independence and leadership skills
Helping your Student find the
Magic!
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Finding their place takes planning.
Finding their place takes patience.
Finding their place takes accepting the truth.
Finding their place takes training.
Finding their place takes having the right people in
their corner.
First Year Timeline
August/September
• Homesickness and feelings of insecurity are common.
• Sharing a room is a new experience.
• Initial adjustment to new academic environment and social
life occurs.
• New and unfamiliar places and people seem overwhelming.
• Long distance relationships are navigated. For some,
homesickness is more intense. For others, it fades.
• Some begin to feel disenchanted with college life, finding it
isn’t what was originally envisioned.
• Academic reality arrives (long homework assignments, first
quiz grades, test anxiety).
Conversation Starters
• What is your roommate like?
• Which classes seem most interesting to you?
• Have you found a good place to study?
• What events have you attended?
First Year Timeline
October/November
• Anticipate mid-term exams and grades.
• Some might feel a sense of loss and failure associated with
grades.
• Struggle to handle social pressures of drinking, dating, sexual
activity.
• Time management conflicts are a common concern.
• Academic pressure begins to rise due to procrastination or
academic load is more demanding than expected.
• Colds and sickness more likely.
• Depression and anxiety can increase.
• Roommate conflicts may begin or intensify.
Conversation Starters
• How are you managing the workload? What is your study
schedule?
• What courses are you thinking of taking next semester?
• Are you thinking about joining any groups or clubs or activities?
Which ones? Why?
• Have you met with any of your professors or teaching assistants?
• What can you do differently on your next exam/paper to do better?
First Year Timeline
December/January
• Final exams may mean all-night studying and extra efforts to
secure desired grades.
• Excitement builds for winter break and family time.
• Time management pressures are common due to academic
demands and extracurricular responsibilities.
• Students worry about what it will be like back home for break.
• Some students may wonder if their major is right for them.
• Relationships may have been strengthened or terminated
over break.
• Stress associated with the new semester may appear.
Conversation Starters
• Which exams are you most concerned about?
• What could I send you to make you feel better?
• What do you want to do at home during your break?
• Let’s talk about how the rules will change for you when you
are home, now that you are a college student.
• What was the best part of your first semester in college?
• What would you do different?
First Year Timeline
February/March
• Pressure to keep up with school work.
• Applications for many student organizations or leadership
roles begin.
• May over-commit to student activities.
• Anxiety over relationships or lack thereof may surface.
• Planning for summer jobs or internships begins.
• Mid-term exams and mid-term grades are expected.
• Anticipation for spring break builds.
• Questions about the fall semester—class schedules,
confirming major, living options—surface.
Conversation Starters
• What do you like about your new classes?
• Are you doing anything differently with your studying this
semester?
• Have you decided what you are doing for spring break?
• Tell me about your good friends on campus.
First Year Timeline
April/May
• Stress and fatigue continue.
• Academic pressure builds as finals near.
• Pre-enrollment for the fall begins.
• Spring fever may cause concerns about focus, lack of significant
other, etc.
• End of year banquets and student organization activities are
scheduled.
• Finals week creates some feelings of stress and anxiety, followed
by relief.
• Concern builds over parents’ reaction to grades and moving home.
• If starting summer school, concerned about not taking a break.
• If starting a new job, concerned about learning the expectations.
Conversation Starters
• What courses are you taking next year? Are you starting to narrow
in on a possible major?
• What are you looking forward to about your living arrangements for
next year?
• How do you think you have changed this year?
• What do you wish you had done differently in your first year of
college?
• I am so proud of everything you have learned and accomplished
this year!
Discussion
Scenarios
Scenario #1
• You begin a casual phone conversation with your
son/daughter about how things are going with
classes. You hear that classes are difficult but
manageable, and that it is taking some adjusting to
get used to the expectations of TU’s faculty
members.
• As the conversation continues, your son/daughter
begins to drop hints about not feeling connected to
other students, administrators, or faculty. He/She
has spent a majority of his/her time alone and does
not seem very happy with TU.
• How do you feel? What, if anything, can you do?
Scenario #2
• You are talking to your son/daughter on the phone
and he/she comments about going to a party over
the weekend. He/she then goes on to say that
he/she is surprised at the amount of alcohol on
campus and the number of students who are
drinking.
• How do you feel? What, if anything, can you do?
Scenario #3
• Your son/daughter asks for additional money to “go
out with friends.” This is the third time he/she has
asked for money since the beginning of the
semester and it is not even midterms yet?
• What do you do?
Scenario #4
• Your son/daughter shares his/her first-term grades with
you and he/she has received a D and a C, as well as a
couple of B’s. These grades are lower than he/she has
ever received in high school or previous institution. When
you ask him/her about the grades, the response is that
they will improve over the next term.
• How do you feel? What, if anything, can you do?
Scenario #5
• Your student calls home late on a Friday night and
tells you he/she is not feeling well and that the
health center is closed.
• How do you feel and what, if anything, can you do?
Scenario #6
• Your son/daughter got along great with his/her roommate
at the beginning of the semester but now the honeymoon
is over. The roommate is borrowing clothes without asking,
leaving the room unlocked, playing music too loud and
eating your son/daughter’s pop tarts.
• How do you feel? What, if anything, can you do?
Parenting Secrets of a
College Professor
“Trying to think of a new metaphor for my ideal style of parenting, I decided I want
to be one of those guys on the landing strips at the airport, with the flags. I am on
the ground, and my kids come see me when they need something and I direct
them, but they are still operating the plane. I also decided that was a lot of words
and I needed to find out what those people in the bright jumpsuits are called.
After much unproductive googling, I contacted my air traffic controller cousin and
this is what he wrote back: “That position is called a ‘Ramp Agent.’ They do
everything from guiding the plane into its gate, loading and unloading bags,
cleaning the inside of the cabin, and just about anything else needed to get a
plane ‘turned around’ and ready for its next flight.” Perfect.
The code I have developed with my own daughter is this: If I haven’t heard from
her in a few days, or if I just have an ache for her, I will send her a text that says,
“Say ‘hi.’” She will respond with those two letters and it is astounding, really, how
much better I feel.”
- Kathleen Volk Miller
Parenting Secrets of a
College Professor
“I think we’re all more afraid in 2012, and that technology can both relieve and
feed those fears. I’m not accusing anyone of being a bad parent. The only reason
we panic when we haven’t heard from our child for three days is because we can,
and often do, hear from him or her nearly constantly. But learning to respect
boundaries is part of this process, and we have to do it, even when technology
has erased the lines. This is the same moderation and balance we want our kids
to learn as they navigate the bumpy freedoms of adulthood. Just because you
have access to all the alcohol you can drink doesn’t mean you should. Just
because you can shut off your alarm and roll over without any immediate
ramifications doesn’t mean you should.
That’s the lesson we parents have to learn. Just because we can peek in on our
children, doesn’t mean that we should. Just because you can see that your child
has not swiped in at the Dining Center but instead bought $12 worth of snacks at
the campus bodega, do you need to know that information? I am going to do my
best to stay a ramp agent and try not to helicopter, waving my flags on the tarmac
— even if sometimes that waving gets frantic.”
- Kathleen Volk Miller
Welcome to Towson
Orientation Schedule
Saturday 8/25
- Move-in & Packet Pick-Up (9 am – 6 pm)
- Commuter Picnic (5:30 pm)
- Parent Reception (6:00 pm) PAWS
Monday 8/27
- Academic Transitions
Sunday 8/26
- Skills & Resources
Tuesday 8/28
- Exploration of campus and Towson
Presented by
Dr. Teri Hall
Associate Vice President of Student Affairs, Campus Life
[email protected]
J.R. Rathjens
Associate Director, Campus Recreation Services
[email protected]